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My Saturday Night UPDATE: Page 11
Skull Man
RIP KUSURegistered User regular
RIP KUSURegistered User regular
So, about two weeks ago I'm sitting around on a Saturday afternoon. Potential plans have been made to get chinese food with TDL (fancy!) and everything's pretty chill.
Then I get the call that throws my evening, my life, into madness. It's Ryan 2, the Ryan Who is Not my Roommate, Ryan Whatever. He's inviting me to a football game. The stadium is a five minute walk, so I figure why not? What's the worst that could happen?
At the game I meet up with Ryan 2 and his unremarkable posse. Alcohol is imbibed, pills are taken (not by me, I would remain woefully sober through the evening) and plans are made. Ryan 2 introduces me to his high school sister and her friend, both aged eighteen. Ryan 2's sister, henceforth known as "Chloe" grabs my crotch as way of introduction. I push her hand away and she staggers back eight feet, through the crush of sweaty college football fans.
"She's been drinking since yesterday afternoon. She's made out with six guys so far, man. I don't know what to do."
"Keep an eye on her, I guess," is my reply. What would you say?
The game progresses into a one-sider, so we leave at the half. As we walk towards Ryan 2's apartment it becomes evident just how drunk Chloe and her friend Kareena are. They stagger into traffic several times, snatched back just in time to avoid being splattered. We get back to the apartment complex and walk around, party-hopping. We are continually forced to leave because Chloe is making out with someone, and Ryan 2 gets just angry enough to cause a scene. She beats us back to Ryan 2's apartment, and we find her half-naked with a guy no one knows on the couch. Ryan 2 kicks him in the head and yells at him to leave.
"Where's Kareena?" Chloe asks.
Kareena is, we find out sucking off three guys at once (or taking turns, I guess) in Ryan 2's room. She's so happy to see us that she spits her mouthful on my new Chuck Taylor's. Chloe, upon entering the room, freaks out and starts slapping the guys. This is when I find out that neither girl had ever had anything to drink or anything to do with boys before this weekend. One of the guys, upon being slapped, gets a gun out of his pants and fires a shot into the ceiling. I figure this is the time to leave. I later found out that Chloe ended up having sex with him.
On the walk home I get a call that my grandfather has died.
This officially made my top 10 weirdest nights out. What are some of yours?
Then I get the call that throws my evening, my life, into madness. It's Ryan 2, the Ryan Who is Not my Roommate, Ryan Whatever. He's inviting me to a football game. The stadium is a five minute walk, so I figure why not? What's the worst that could happen?
At the game I meet up with Ryan 2 and his unremarkable posse. Alcohol is imbibed, pills are taken (not by me, I would remain woefully sober through the evening) and plans are made. Ryan 2 introduces me to his high school sister and her friend, both aged eighteen. Ryan 2's sister, henceforth known as "Chloe" grabs my crotch as way of introduction. I push her hand away and she staggers back eight feet, through the crush of sweaty college football fans.
"She's been drinking since yesterday afternoon. She's made out with six guys so far, man. I don't know what to do."
"Keep an eye on her, I guess," is my reply. What would you say?
The game progresses into a one-sider, so we leave at the half. As we walk towards Ryan 2's apartment it becomes evident just how drunk Chloe and her friend Kareena are. They stagger into traffic several times, snatched back just in time to avoid being splattered. We get back to the apartment complex and walk around, party-hopping. We are continually forced to leave because Chloe is making out with someone, and Ryan 2 gets just angry enough to cause a scene. She beats us back to Ryan 2's apartment, and we find her half-naked with a guy no one knows on the couch. Ryan 2 kicks him in the head and yells at him to leave.
"Where's Kareena?" Chloe asks.
Kareena is, we find out sucking off three guys at once (or taking turns, I guess) in Ryan 2's room. She's so happy to see us that she spits her mouthful on my new Chuck Taylor's. Chloe, upon entering the room, freaks out and starts slapping the guys. This is when I find out that neither girl had ever had anything to drink or anything to do with boys before this weekend. One of the guys, upon being slapped, gets a gun out of his pants and fires a shot into the ceiling. I figure this is the time to leave. I later found out that Chloe ended up having sex with him.
On the walk home I get a call that my grandfather has died.
This officially made my top 10 weirdest nights out. What are some of yours?
Skull Man on
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Posts
You. Need. New. Friends.
And sorry about your grandfather.
Where did that gun come from.
Secret Satan 2013 Wishlist
it was in his pants, which were hanging over a chair
and these aren't my real friends
these are potentials
or, were
Skull stop talking to girls. They always end up being crazy.
Soo.... do you have these girls AIM addresses?
They should make an appearance and explain themselves.
First thought: Oh shit, what happened to the poor bastard now.
Really though, damn!
What?
I know
I know
There needs to be girls like them here.
Secret Satan 2013 Wishlist
that's uh
hmm
I just I mean
these were not good girls
they were in fact bad girls
and I was not invited?
man I never get invited to the cool shit.
They didn't invite you because there were stairs.
Somebody is registering a new domain name as we speak.
not really
he drunk himself to death, stopped being the grandfather I loved five years ago
it's still sad but it's like eh
also no, this was happening in Statesboro Georgia
home of, apparently, the most batshit people on earth
no one man can be struck by lighting this many times
skull what do you say
Oh, I don't know. I could see this happening in Winnipeg, except everyone's age would be -2 and the girls would be "burn it with fire" ugly.
my actual friends are good people
it's just I've decided to be more social, hang out with more "casual friends"
needless to say it has not been a riotous success
man still
drunken high school girls all making like a circus seal?
you need to call a brotha
Circus seals? Is that a "balls on the nose" joke or what?
why is it every time something like this happens some peeps are like "shoulda hit that"
I know when I shoulda hit that
this is not a time I shoulda hit that
Go back to being a holed-up person.
statesboro apparently the worst
how exactly would I have hit that?
I simply wish to bear witness to this kind of unfettered slutitude
What can we make her do next?
you should blow that dog! Bring the dog over here.... open up you giggling whore....
God, your life is like a B-movie
Just whenever someone invites you to something?
Run
Fucking start dashing doubled-over, and zig-zag too so you make a more difficult target.
Make sure you jump repeatedly as you run.