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Uriel girl thread lol
Uriel
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Registered User regular
I got to hang out with an friend of mine and get to know more about her at Cedar Point saturday. It was pretty cool, she's single, quite beautiful, and uhh, well really really Christian. She made some arguments that actually were quite compelling even to my typically deist view. I really would enjoy talking with her more about it.
I'm considering asking her out, because I think she might be interested but I'm not sure, she's a few years younger than me (I'm 20) It's not really a problem, she is above the age of consent. But she is like a little sister to my two best friends Corey and Acid, I'm not sure how they'd feel about it. I'm going to ask Acid what he thinks since I'm a little closer to him, but I guess I'm just afraid because I've she's shaken my deist point of view for one and also because whenever I ask someone out they tend to fall off the face of the planet for me, and I'd hate for that to happen because it may put distance between her and my best friends.
Basically I don't know what to do, should I even ask Acid and Corey their opinions or just forget about it?
I'm considering asking her out, because I think she might be interested but I'm not sure, she's a few years younger than me (I'm 20) It's not really a problem, she is above the age of consent. But she is like a little sister to my two best friends Corey and Acid, I'm not sure how they'd feel about it. I'm going to ask Acid what he thinks since I'm a little closer to him, but I guess I'm just afraid because I've she's shaken my deist point of view for one and also because whenever I ask someone out they tend to fall off the face of the planet for me, and I'd hate for that to happen because it may put distance between her and my best friends.
Basically I don't know what to do, should I even ask Acid and Corey their opinions or just forget about it?
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The fact that one of them is named Acid makes it even better.
On the other hand, doesn't hurt to just go out on a date and see if anything clicks.
I'm just unsure because of how my friends might feel and because I don't know about changing my theistic views..
but yeah, ask your friends about it, but just know that is this chick is really Christian, then know that her :whistle: is on lock down until marriage, just saying.
No, that's his nickname.
Also I sorta figured, and it wouldn't really bother me, I mean what is a few more years waiting, you know?
1. It's important to take your friends' feelings and advice into account, but that doesn't mean you have to listen to them.
2. If a few hours at Cedar Point talking to a random girl are having you changing your religious views, I have a feeling they were pretty malleable to begin with. If she'd been a strong Jew or Atheist, you'd probably be leaning toward those belief systems. I wonder if it was her convincing argumentation or that you were just dazzled by the boobies. Try some introspection sometime, or read some scholarly debate on the matter of religion.
Should you two start dating and getting serious, do not be a jerk and try to pressure her/guilt her into fooling around/having sex/crossing whatever line she sets. If you're willing to wait: great, awesome. If not, dont lead her on like you are, then pull a switcharoo later, or try to make her feel bad for not wanting to get too physical. Ive seen my fair share of girls go to tears over that stuff. Over both being given a guilt trip by the guy, and giving into his guilt trip.
tl;dr respect her beliefs even if you don't share them.
Still, we're just guys on the internet, and it's not like it can't hurt to ask her out. Check with your friends first and don't try to force anything.
If you really want to start a relationship with this girl I say go try for it. You don't need to consult your friends about it but if you think it's better that way then you probably should.
Like Cango said you better respect her beliefs even if you don't share them. There's no better way to put it.
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Not saying a good friendship is out of the question, but things like religion REALLY put a kink in relationships. And if she is the type of Christian (there are so many!) that ascribes to the no-sex before marriage thing, you best hope you're in for the long haul, buckaroo.
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Why would you ask them how to live your own personal life?
She may be like a little sister to them or whatever, but that does not mean you need their permission.
Well, I wouldn't go so far as to say that he needed their permission, exactly, but I do think it would be a nice gesture to talk to his friends first to show that he respects their opinions and feelings. I kinda doubt that they would really object, so it's mostly a formality, but still, I think, a good thing to do. I mean, if someone came up and asked if they could borrow your pen or something, you'd probably say yes and not think much of it; but if they came up and grabbed your pen without asking, used it, and handed it back, you'd think that was extremely rude. This may be a silly shortcoming of the human psyche, but it's something that should be taken into account.
edit: I've gotten a couple comments on this post so I figured I'd come back in to clarify: I am in no way trying to imply that this girl is equivalent to a pen owned by the OP's friends! The pen example was just an instance of a purely meaningless social formality. I am in no way trying to draw parallels between borrowing someone's pen and asking a girl out on a date. Are we clear? Just in case we're not: pen != girl.
is...
is a girl suggesting that girls are objects to be owned?
take me in your arms and never let go
on a more serious note
i don't think you need permission
even if you think you do don't ask for it, it's not theres to give
say "hey i'm going to ask "said person" out
Well, that is total rubbish. There's a forum right above this one beginning with D which tells you why. Everyone's beliefs are influenced by other people, and usually those influences are a large part of where you end up; this isn't necessarily a bad thing.
On the other hand, in this case the OP seems willing to flip-flop because of the pretty girl he just met. That isn't the best idea. In fact, it's a very bad idea.
Don't convert to her religion. I know people who make friends/relationship for this exact purpose. She may or may not be one of those types of people. Even if she is not - Do you want to start going to church with her? Do you want to pray before every meal you have with her and/or her parents? Do you want her to control your sex life, both in ways involving, and not involving her?
What CangoFett said is true, but there is the other side of the coin: What if she not only consents to, but initiates sex with you a year into the relationship, then regrets it, gets depressed, and refuses to have ANY physical contact with you, all while blaming you for her transgression? Hint: I did not make that example up.
She will probably want to get married a lot sooner than most any non really religious girls you will find. Do you want to go in that direction that fast at this point in your life? And you can be sure that she will want to marry you before sex, and before living together. And you can be very sure that if you marry and have children with this girl, that they will be raised to be very very Christian.
All of the above may be perfectly fine with you. I just want to make sure you are aware of the possibilities.
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perhaps she simply had strong, intelligent arguments that made more sense to him than what he previously believed. it seems to me that talking with her didnt change his view, it simply opened him to new possibilities/lines of thinking. there's nothing wrong with expansion of thought.
OP: on that note, questioning yourself doesnt necessarily mean your beliefs or ideals are weak, it's just a sign that you were introduced to a new aspect of a different side of the table. meditate on it, give yourself some introspection and reflect on why you believe what you do, and why her statements seemed to "shake" you the way they did.
at any rate, while it is your decision to date her or not... i agree with Irene... it's always cool to check with your friends about people who are really close to them before you ask them out. besides, its more like you're letting them know you're interested than it is asking permission. you're not telling them to get them to sign off on it, you're telling them because you care about how they feel about it.
Zeromus is right, it won't hurt to go out with her on a date.
However, it sounds like Uriel is really attracted to this girl, but knows nothing about her. You're questioning your religious beliefs after a night of talking? Don't make something fit that won't. You don't HAVE to have her religious beliefs, you know? You've got a mind of your own, and should never change those just to please some girl you barely even know. This sounds like a high school girl, and I can guarantee you no high school girl is worth that. Trust me.
You've got a crush, plain and simple. Don't confuse it with anything else. You're not thinking straight. You're going ga-ga over a cute girl. You're too caught up that you can't see you and her are not a good fit. If she's making you question your religion just to fit in with her, that's baaaaaaaaad.
As far as your friends, ege is right, give them a heads up, but she isn't their property so you don't have to have their permission.
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If she's like a little sister to your best friends, it could create some problems down the road so I think a heads up is required. If you phrase it as asking permission, it pretty much falls under the ex-girlfriend rule anyway.
If you ever need to talk to someone, feel free to message me. Yes, that includes you.
Tell your friends you're asking her, as has already been said. And just ask her. Maybe she'll say "no," maybe she'll say "yes" and it won't work out because of the religion thing, and maybe she'll say "yes" and you'll end up married and making babies together.
That's true. He should just ask her on a date.
But, buyer beware. I was in a very similar situation as this a few months ago, in regards to asking a Christian girl out when I am quite indifferent. I thought that was okay. As it turns out, by date two she was completely unsatisfied with my indifference, and even referenced she couldn't see herself, in marriage, with somebody who wasn't devoted to God.
It's a whole different mindset, in that dating isn't always fun, but for the purpose of finding a person to share God with. Me, I just wanted nice conversation with a cute girl. Her, she wanted nice conversation with a cute Christian boy to take home to her minister father.
Your mileage may vary, but don't mislead her into thinking you'll be a convert. She has to accept, up front, that you may not take to her way of the world. Is that okay with her? In my case, she was not okay when she found out I didn't have interest in going to church with her.
Keep your values in tact, be honest, and you'll do fine no matter what.
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