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This is apparently titled ASSassin

SalmonOfDoubtSalmonOfDoubt Registered User regular
edited September 2007 in Singularity Engine++
As she crawled through the air ducts, Claire went over her mental check-list again:

Skip Breakfast - Check
Remember Satchel - Check
Arrive at target office via car at 5:00am - Check
Disable security cameras #3, #4, and #11 - Check
Enter ventilation system via roof - Check
Lower into target's office, spike target's coffee and reenter ducts - Check

That left her only with the task of eliminating her target. Claire made little noise transversing the cramped, metallic halls, due to her thin frame and skintight black latex body suit. She noted her watch. It was 7:00am, and the serum was in prime position to be activated. Claire made no hesitations and pressed a discreet button on the side of her watch. Looking at her watch again, she figured that she had five minutes to be in place above the women's restroom. She quickened her pace through the ducts, and she arrived at a grate, that looked straight down into a singular bathroom stall.

She estimated she had around 2 minutes before the target would arrive. She used this time for a little preparation before she carried out the remainder of her assignment. She reached her hand to a zipper that ran down the seat of her suit. She pulled it down, revealing the naked skin of her ass. Out of her small satchel, she pulled a tiny plastic bottle, from which she squirted a bit of gel onto her index finger. She then reached back to her exposed behind, parted her cheeks, and began rubbing the gel onto her anus. Once Claire felt satisfied with her application, she placed the bottle back into her satchel and waited. She heard someone enter the bathroom, and sure enough, her target stumbled into the stall, fumbling to get her fancy black business skirt to come down. Claire continued to watch as the well-dressed woman proceeded to sit down and sigh in relief as a loud splash was heard.

"This is the perfect time" Clair thought, as she slowly unscrewed the grating and quietly removed it. Then, suddenly, 2 other women entered the bathroom.

"Shit" Claire thought. Instead of panicking, she pressed the button on her watch again. This caused her target to suddenly start farting violently. She squirmed on the toilet as all manner of farts ripped out of her butt. The two women looked at each other, and quickly left the bathroom.

Claire proceeded to bring her plan to it's conclusion. She turned on her back and slid herself over the gap in the duct, until her butt hovered just above it. She whispered to her self "1.... 2.... 3!!!"

In one incredibly fast movement, Claire shot herself down into the stall, falling squarely on top of her target. Just as she had planned, her target's head shot straight up her butt. She could feel a screams coming from her bowels.
She took out a pair of scissors, and began cutting at her target's clothing. She always hated the feeling of eliminating a target with clothes on, and had decided to avoid such an annoyance in the future by always bringing scissors on every assignment. Soon, the target's blouse and jacket laid on the floor in tatters. With that out of the way, Claire grabbed her target's flailing arms and pinned them down to her sides. Then, she relaxed her rectum, and her hole slowly expanded over her target's shoulders. As she slid down her target's body, she took the scissors and cut away the target's skirt, making the whole ordeal downhill as far as Claire was concerned.

She easily got the waist in, and then used her powerful muscles to suck her target the rest of the way in. When she was finally finished, she had a belly that made her look 9 months pregnant. Of course, that fit perfectly into Claire's plan. Out of her satchel she took a nice, folded pair of maternity clothes. She quickly changed, and picked up the tattered clothing off the floor and placed it in her satchel. She nonchalantly walked out of the bathroom and began strolling through the offices, making her way to the elevator. Suddenly, she felt a slight tremor from within her bowels. She knew what was going to happen, but was powerless to stop it.

A huge fart ripped out, causing her to become crimson with shame.
A young man popped his head up from his cubicle and looked around in disgust. He saw Claire. "Ugh, that gross. Couldn't you do that in the bathroom?"

"Shut up Chris." A woman popped her head out from her cubicle.
"Sorry, Chris is kind of a douche. I totally understand what you are going through. I'm on my second kid right now" She said, pointing down to her big belly.

"Thanks" Claire responded, "Do you know where I can find the elevator? I was just here visiting my husband and now I need to head home."

After receiving the directions, Claire left the building and headed home. As she walked into her apartment, she looked down at her belly. "Well, looks like you're going to be here for a while". She was exhausted from her mission today. She picked up her cellphone, then made a call.

"Hello, this is Claire. The assignment went down without a hitch. Transfer the payment to my usual account."

She put the phone down on her nightstand, disrobed, and got in bed. She fell asleep full and satisfied.

The next morning, Claire awoke feeling very bloated. Her belly had considerably softened, having reduced her victim entirely to gas. She walked out into her living room and turned on her TV. The morning news had just started:

"A recent Inglom Tech director's board appointee has gone missing. Witnesses say Sheila Ironstrom arrived for work on Friday, but disappeared sometime during the day. The police have not been able to find any trace of Ms. Ironstrom which leads them to believe that she may have been kidnapped. Sources close to the Poli......."

Claire smirked as she tensed up and let loose a deafening fart. She felt her belly deflate as her fart went on and on. The hot, smelly air made many rude noises as it passed through Claire's colon and out into the apartment. As the fart finished, and Claire's belly had become flat again, she turned around and took a big whiff.

"Ewww... Sheila, you smell like you've been up someone's ass."

heavensidesig80.jpg
PiptheFair wrote: »
killing children would be hilarious
Olivaw wrote: »
HELLO AND WELCOME TO THE PENNY ARCADE FORUMS

PLEASE ENJOY YOUR STAY

AND THIS PENIS
Man, I don't want to read about this lady's broken vagina.
NotACrook wrote: »
I am sitting here trying to come up with a tiered system for rating child molesters.
cock vore is fuckin hilarious
SalmonOfDoubt on
«134

Posts

  • tsplittertsplitter Registered User regular
    edited September 2007
    man what

    tsplitter on
    FqmsaJ6.png
  • Fuzzy Cumulonimbus CloudFuzzy Cumulonimbus Cloud bear with us as we do some "rebranding" Registered User regular
    edited September 2007
    WHAT

    Fuzzy Cumulonimbus Cloud on
  • GravesGraves Registered User regular
    edited September 2007
    whut?

    Graves on
    Usher wrote:
    Honey got a booty like pow pow pow
    Honey got some boobies like wow oh wow.
  • mullymully Registered User regular
    edited September 2007
    i was so hoping for assassins creed
    this is not very stealthy at all

    mully on
  • Captain CrunchCaptain Crunch Registered User
    edited September 2007
    What?

    Captain Crunch on
  • Doctor PainDoctor Pain Registered User
    edited September 2007
    liljohn.jpg

    Doctor Pain on
    I FUCKING HATE SIGNATURES.
  • KoshianKoshian __BANNED USERS regular
    edited September 2007
    what is this

    are there more?

    don't hold out on me, man

    Koshian on
  • PotUPotU __BANNED USERS
    edited September 2007
    Haha, I get it.

    PotU on
    2mong9u.jpg
  • ReTardisReTardis Registered User
    edited September 2007
    What the shit?

    ReTardis on
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • GravesGraves Registered User regular
    edited September 2007
    mully wrote: »
    i was so hoping for assassins creed
    this is not very stealthy at all

    Yeah me too.

    I am disappointed.

    Graves on
    Usher wrote:
    Honey got a booty like pow pow pow
    Honey got some boobies like wow oh wow.
  • Captain CrunchCaptain Crunch Registered User
    edited September 2007
    Seriously, what the fuck is this?

    Captain Crunch on
  • Fuzzy Cumulonimbus CloudFuzzy Cumulonimbus Cloud bear with us as we do some "rebranding" Registered User regular
    edited September 2007
    This thread stinks.

    Fuzzy Cumulonimbus Cloud on
  • KarlKarl Registered User regular
    edited September 2007
    I......what?

    Karl on
    YOU'RE ALL BABIES.
    SO MUCH POTENTIAL TO WASTE.
    Koshian wrote: »
    JOKE'S ON YOU
    MY POTENTIAL IS ALREADY WASTED
  • RankenphileRankenphile Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood.Registered User, Moderator mod
    edited September 2007
    god I hope that's only the first chapter

    Rankenphile on
  • PataPata Registered User regular
    edited September 2007
    What.

    Pata on
    SRWWSig.pngEpisode 5: Mecha-World, Mecha-nisim, Mecha-beasts
  • KoshianKoshian __BANNED USERS regular
    edited September 2007
    my money is this being some kind of fetish story

    I am both intrigued and horrified

    Koshian on
  • UrielUriel Registered User regular
    edited September 2007
    TL;DR

    Uriel on
  • 150cc150cc Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited September 2007
    My dear sir, please post more of this wonderful piece of fiction!

    150cc on
  • Frosted ButtsFrosted Butts Registered User
    edited September 2007
    This is exactly what I needed as my 13th hour of work begins

    Frosted Butts on
    lion1si5.jpg
  • Doctor PainDoctor Pain Registered User
    edited September 2007
    this should be in the writers block.

    Doctor Pain on
    I FUCKING HATE SIGNATURES.
  • SalmonOfDoubtSalmonOfDoubt Registered User regular
    edited September 2007
    There is no more.

    Someone posted it on 7chan.

    SalmonOfDoubt on
    heavensidesig80.jpg
    PiptheFair wrote: »
    killing children would be hilarious
    Olivaw wrote: »
    HELLO AND WELCOME TO THE PENNY ARCADE FORUMS

    PLEASE ENJOY YOUR STAY

    AND THIS PENIS
    Man, I don't want to read about this lady's broken vagina.
    NotACrook wrote: »
    I am sitting here trying to come up with a tiered system for rating child molesters.
    cock vore is fuckin hilarious
  • PotUPotU __BANNED USERS
    edited September 2007
    It's a copypasta.

    PotU on
    2mong9u.jpg
  • HyperAquaBlastHyperAquaBlast Registered User regular
    edited September 2007
    The first porno I ever watched was called Anal Assassins.

    HyperAquaBlast on
    steam_sig.png
  • UrielUriel Registered User regular
    edited September 2007
    The first porno I ever saw was something with Ron Jeremy my parents were watching when I was 8 and I came out into the living room because I was sick.

    Uriel on
  • ultraexactzzultraexactzz BLEASCHMNN Registered User regular
    edited September 2007
    It's like a baseball bat

    only it's a fucking person

    How bizarre

    ultraexactzz on
  • JordynJordyn Registered User regular
    edited September 2007
    I have no idea what just happened

    Jordyn on
    thumbsupguy-1.jpg
    JordynNolz.com <- All my blogs (Shepard, Wasted, J'onn, DCAU) are here now!
  • STATE OF THE ART ROBOTSTATE OF THE ART ROBOT Registered User regular
    edited September 2007
    Hopefully any minute a mod will come and lock this and then everything will be ok. Please tell me it will be ok.

    STATE OF THE ART ROBOT on
  • KazhiimKazhiim __BANNED USERS regular
    edited September 2007
    I




    what

    Kazhiim on
    lost_sig2.png
  • The GeekThe Geek Oh-Two Crew, Omeganaut Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited September 2007
    38107.jpg

    The Geek on
    zappsigsm.jpg
    Amazon wish list | Please check out my wife's blog and jewelry store.
  • PataPata Registered User regular
    edited September 2007
    Why does that exist.

    Pata on
    SRWWSig.pngEpisode 5: Mecha-World, Mecha-nisim, Mecha-beasts
  • The GeekThe Geek Oh-Two Crew, Omeganaut Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited September 2007
    Pata wrote: »
    Why does that exist.

    What?

    The Geek on
    zappsigsm.jpg
    Amazon wish list | Please check out my wife's blog and jewelry store.
  • GravesGraves Registered User regular
    edited September 2007
    The first porno I saw was Bad Wives.

    Graves on
    Usher wrote:
    Honey got a booty like pow pow pow
    Honey got some boobies like wow oh wow.
  • UrielUriel Registered User regular
    edited September 2007
    I have like way too much porn.

    Seriously I've got like 25 gigs of it.

    Uriel on
  • ZephyrZephyr Registered User
    edited September 2007
    FoxNewsWhat.jpg

    Zephyr on
    16kakxt.jpg
  • ZephyrZephyr Registered User
    edited September 2007
    Uriel wrote: »
    I have like way too much porn.

    Seriously I've got like 25 gigs of it.

    i bet it's all filled with homosexuals

    Zephyr on
    16kakxt.jpg
  • UrielUriel Registered User regular
    edited September 2007
    Naw.

    Uriel on
  • SeriouslySeriously Registered User regular
    edited September 2007
    Bel-Air thread!

    Seriously on
  • STATE OF THE ART ROBOTSTATE OF THE ART ROBOT Registered User regular
    edited September 2007
    Is at least a little of it just a little homosexual?

    STATE OF THE ART ROBOT on
  • UrielUriel Registered User regular
    edited September 2007
    Is at least a little of it just a little homosexual?

    Nope.

    You may be thinking of my brother's gay slashfic collection

    Uriel on
  • STATE OF THE ART ROBOTSTATE OF THE ART ROBOT Registered User regular
    edited September 2007
    Not even a little variety? You know, broaden your horizon?

    Seriously, 25 gigs of straight porn sounds boring.

    STATE OF THE ART ROBOT on
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