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OMG itsa Gurl! Spoilers inside!

AthlantarAthlantar Registered User regular
edited September 2007 in Help / Advice Forum
Bonjour all, Long time reader, first time poster to this neat little niche in the net - the H/A Forum.

I think this is one of those situations where I already know what has been done and what needs to be done, i just think I need to hear it from an outside source.

Girl at work, same age as me (18), been working there for nearly a year. Never talked much to her up till afew months ago, then we'd started chatting alot during our shifts. Music, movies, hobbies, recreational activities. All that jazz. So we both get scheduled to do inventory at another store across the city, from midnight till 8 am. Shitty shift, but plenty o time to get some quality interaction since I would be the only person there she knows. So up until this point I didnt have a super serious interest in her, but I thought something could happen.

So we arrange to carpool to the other store, she picks me up and we head that way. Talk about the same stuff, laugh about whatever, and we end up getting lost and having some fun finding our way back. We end up at the store and find out that our shift was actually canceled, because the douche manager decided they didnt want to show up. So were both ecstatic that we dont have to work the shitty shift.

We decide to grab some pizza, and end up bullshitting about alot of stuff for an hour an a halfish till 2am. So we eat what we can, and then we call it a night. She drives me home and I thank her for the pizza and the drive around the city, saying it was fun. I realize (after I've gotten out of the car) that I should have made a comment regarding perhaps meeting up again in the future. So being the nerdy guy I am, I bust out the phone and send a text. She doesn't reply, which kinda throws me off and gets me abit down.

So 2 nights ago I call her up and ask if she wants to play a game with some of my friends and I (Betrayl at House on the Hill, for those of you that know it) and I know shes atleast somewhat nerdy, so i figured she might be into it. She says sure, sounds like fun, we make arrangements to get together and play it the next day.

The next morning I wake up to a text saying that she can't go because she needs to drive her mom to the hospital really early the next morning to visit her dad. (I know her dad had had a heart attack about a month prior). This is probably the best reason to miss something I've heard, so I have no hard feelings about it at all. (I'm not a total douche, after all) The only part that threw me off again was when I replied, I said "Hey, no problem at all, i hope everythings all right, we'll have to play again some other time or something" Again she didnt reply after that. She seemd pretty open on the night we hung out, and I like helping people with their personal problems.

So, that leaves me here. I like this girl, I have no idea if its in just a friend way (as we have pretty similar personalities), or if its in a romantic way. Either is quite frankly pretty cool, cause its always neat meeting someone you can bullshit the time away with. If I don't really like someone, I usually dont give 2 shits what they think of me, but if I do like them I get all bent out of shape hoping its mutual. I don't know what capacity I like her, but I think theres something there. I just have trouble knowing where the line is, but I'd like to explore it. I'm not sure if I should ask her to hang out again sometime next week (not a date or anything like that), or wait till I work with her again to chat with her, or if I should let it be.

TL,DR (I don't blame you, I wouldn't either):Girl I like as a friend or maybe more, possibility its mutual. Next step?

Feel free to ask for any clarification if needed, sometimes I miss important details.

Danke in advance!

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Athlantar on

Posts

  • Chief1138Chief1138 Registered User regular
    edited September 2007
    Talking via text message is not like talking to someone in person. Just because they don't respond to something you say doesn't mean there is something wrong or that they don't want to talk to you. If you're not even sure about whether you want a romantic relationship then I wouldn't start pursuing it yet. Keep up with the regular friend social stuff until you're sure.

    Chief1138 on
  • AthlantarAthlantar Registered User regular
    edited September 2007
    I might not have phrased it right.

    I would definately be interested in a romantic relationship with her, but I understand that isnt always the same thing girls want from me :P

    And I also know that having fun and talking isn't necessarily grounds for dating, as its pretty pretentious to assume just because someone is talking to you theyre interested.

    Athlantar on
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  • korrianderkorriander Registered User regular
    edited September 2007
    I agree with Athlantar. Being a girl, it is definitely a better idea to continue social, friendly interactions, even if to just test the waters with her. Take it slowly.

    korriander on
  • precisionkprecisionk Registered User regular
    edited September 2007
    Man up and ask her out to dinner. Women like confidence and face to face interfaction, not text messages.


    You are severely close to friend zone.

    What is the worse that could happen if she rejects you? Nothing.

    precisionk on
  • EggyToastEggyToast Jersey CityRegistered User regular
    edited September 2007
    Don't bank anything on text messages. They are like shitty IM conversations, where just because you send a note to someone doesn't mean (a) that they have to respond or (b) that they have anything to say.

    What do you say when someone says "ok, hope we can get together in the future" anyway? "ok," "sounds good," "ok bye"?

    It's obvious that she at least likes hanging out with you, because she got pizza with you instead of just going back home. And it's obvious that she doesn't find you repulsive because you invited her to a get together and she accepted (and then had to bail). You're not high on her priority list, so you should expect that you get canceled on occasionally.

    So give her a week or weekend, give her a call on like Monday and ask if everything's OK and if she'd like to get together when she has some time. If she keeps getting out of things, she's either very busy or simply not that interested. If she's up for something, then great. She may very well call you, as well.

    EggyToast on
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  • CreepyCreepy Tucson, AzRegistered User regular
    edited September 2007
    Ask her again. In person. If she accepts and yet blows you off again I'd give it one more try max before I was done.

    Creepy on
    Live: Broichan

    PSN: Broichan
  • AthlantarAthlantar Registered User regular
    edited September 2007
    I think the text message thing got to me (the first time) because I wasn't sure if she had replied to me but my phone didnt recieve it or something. So, for instance, if she said, "fuck off dont text me" and I never got it, then proceeded to text her; that would be bad.

    But I guess since she did initially agree to hang out again, or she wouldnt have responded favourably.

    The problem with asking her out face to face (which I dont have a problem with, but it might not be fair to her) is i only ever see her at work. There are ALWAYS co-workers around and they like to be snoopy. And the worst that happens if she rejects me is its super awkward at work all the time - which is okay, its just a part time job and I fucking love awkward situations like nothing else.

    Ill give it some time, i suppose she knows im interested so she can call me too.

    Thanks all. Hopefully will have some good news to follow.

    Athlantar on
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  • CryogenCryogen Registered User regular
    edited September 2007
    precisionk wrote: »
    Man up and ask her out to dinner. Women like confidence and face to face interfaction, not text messages.


    You are severely close to friend zone.

    Woah woah woah. What exactly do you mean? Theres no magical cutoff time where someone can become a friend and then BAM any chance for romantic happenings are gone forever.

    Dont worry about the lack of replies to text messages. Some people just dont reply to them often, and usually it doesnt mean anything. Just invite her to another event of some kind and see how things go from there.

    Cryogen on
  • brandotheninjamasterbrandotheninjamaster Registered User regular
    edited September 2007
    Cryogen wrote: »
    precisionk wrote: »
    Man up and ask her out to dinner. Women like confidence and face to face interfaction, not text messages.


    You are severely close to friend zone.

    Woah woah woah. What exactly do you mean? Theres no magical cutoff time where someone can become a friend and then BAM any chance for romantic happenings are gone forever.

    Yea, but when you cross into that "friend zone" its really hard to get out.

    brandotheninjamaster on
  • ege02ege02 __BANNED USERS regular
    edited September 2007
    There is no such thing as a friend zone.

    There is only attraction, and lack of attraction.

    The friend zone myth exists because girls typically use the "let's just be friends" line on guys they are not attracted to. So the guy thinks, "oh, she doesn't want a relationship, she just wants friendship." As if friendship somehow exists on a completely different category - a ladder if you will - than relationship.
    The problem with asking her out face to face (which I dont have a problem with, but it might not be fair to her) is i only ever see her at work. There are ALWAYS co-workers around and they like to be snoopy.

    Stop making excuses. It's a simple matter of asking her to step outside with you for a second and asking her out there.

    ege02 on
  • CryogenCryogen Registered User regular
    edited September 2007
    Cryogen wrote: »
    precisionk wrote: »
    Man up and ask her out to dinner. Women like confidence and face to face interfaction, not text messages.


    You are severely close to friend zone.

    Woah woah woah. What exactly do you mean? Theres no magical cutoff time where someone can become a friend and then BAM any chance for romantic happenings are gone forever.

    Yea, but when you cross into that "friend zone" its really hard to get out.

    Theres no such thing. A girl is either interested in a relationship with you, or she isnt. That you are friends has little bearing on this decision. I still have no idea where this ridiculous "Uh oh, you'll get into the friend zone!!!" notion came from, because so many people end up in relationships with people with whom they were friends first. In fact, its a really good way to get to know each other properly first.

    edit: clearly i need to post faster :P

    Cryogen on
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