Moving on, filling the void.

Paramore

Here I am once again asking help. You might remember me from these past two threads.

About my girlfriend on anti-depressants and here lowered libido.
About how my girlfriend sent provocative pictures to a friend who has a crush on her.

It was a week ago from today that the final events happened which I described in the last thread. It took a week for it to fully die. I stuck around a little bit. Saw if she was going to make any changes from a distance, until a week of this again made me realize it was truly dead. Friday mid-day I told her that there was no chance I would be comfortable being in a relationship with her no matter what she did. She replied with.

"Well if you're not going to give me a chance now, I'm not going to give you one later."

After which she stormed off. I was oddly okay with what she said. I haven't heard a word, a message, or anything since then. Which is very odd behavior for her when it comes to situations like these. This makes me believe that she might understand it's totally dead also.

Well to the point of this thread. My life feels boring and empty. I think it amplified it a lot considering it's the weekend. On campus here everyone seems to go home for the weekend. So my dad has consisted so far of hanging out with my roommate, playing some games and studying for tests. I have a few other guys in the building I hang out with but it just feels boring, and purposeless.

I fully know I can be single. But it's been a year since I have been single. I honestly can't remember how to do it anymore. My gut reaction to this feeling is that I need to get out there and start dating again right away, which feels okay to me, but I know is not the right thing to do. However it would be nice to meet some new girls for maybe future relations.

That leads me to my next problem. I'm not a partier. I'm not a drinker. I don't care to be around people who are getting drunk. This severely limits the social activities on campus, and the people I can choose to interact with, especially on the weekends. It seems to me the people who are like me, who don't enjoy those kind of activities are doing just what I am, hiding in their room since there isn't anything else to do. Makes the possibility of us meeting seem slim.

What's a good way to meet non drinkers/partiers on a campus that has little but that, short of putting fliers up?

I feel like I need to solve this quick before my ex decides to start coming after me again, if she does. Since my lack of things to do / empty feeling / boredom sometimes have gotten the best of me in the past.

Gorgeeen

Join a club at your school or something.

And not some lame shit like an anime club or something, like maybe a dance club where they teach you how to dance over the course of the semester. You will meet many peoples.

Munacra

Wait, not all college students go around carrying kegs on their backs. I'm sure there are clubs, classes, whatever where people are not required to be drunk to have a good time. Join a sports team, take salsa classes, talk to the neighbors whatever dude. There's plenty to do. If it bothers you to hang around when people are drinking, just say "hey, I gotta go. Something came up."

If it bothers you that the people you might meet drink, then you have to loosen up your butt hole and stop being such a tight ass.

noobert

Think of something YOU want. Or want to be.

Thought of it?

Now that you don't have some pesky girl hanging around holding you back, what's stopping you from achieving that? NOTHING. (this worked for me)

But also clubs based on things that you are interested in, Casual sports teams are a good idea too.

tsmvengy

Everybody else has the right idea - find out about clubs on campus and join one.

Magus`

1. Time helps. That being said, don't just wait around. Time works best when it's in the background.
2. Whacking off can give temporary relief from sadness/loneliness. Emphasis on temporary.
3. For the love of god try to avoid things that remind you closely of her.
4. Hang out with as many people as you can.
5. Find someone better (not hard in your case)

SoonerMan

Munacra wrote: »

Wait, not all college students go around carrying kegs on their backs. I'm sure there are clubs, classes, whatever where people are not required to be drunk to have a good time. Join a sports team, take salsa classes, talk to the neighbors whatever dude. There's plenty to do. If it bothers you to hang around when people are drinking, just say "hey, I gotta go. Something came up."

If it bothers you that the people you might meet drink, then you have to loosen up your butt hole and stop being such a tight ass.

I don't care to drink or anything either, but just talking to random people is fun, too. Just be open and not be judgmental. The guys on my floor always drink and always ask me to join, I simply tell them no. It doesn't make me a tight ass that I don't drink, its simply my choice and it is also his. I'm not exactly so repelled like the OP, but I don't care to be around it either.

I think your comment though is pretty dickish, though. I'm a hell of a lot more social, fun, crazy or whatever attributes you get from being tipsy than a lot of people that are drunk when I'm sober. I've never drank or anything, but because of this I've never felt the need to.

Grey Ghost

I can say that a swing or ballroom dance club, as well as something like college radio or other media outlet, is a great way to meet lots of cool new peeps.

Taterskin

Definitely join your college's radio station if it has one. It changed me from super shy to slightly shy with lots of new friends.

Noahthered

It's all a matter of finding a comfortable environment to open up in. For some people it's partying and being prolific on the social scene. For others it can be something more subdued, like finding a group of friends who don't drink and rather just have chill, relaxed nights doing thing that probably won't end them up in jail. Regardless of what it is, find it.

That being said, there is also something to say for throwing your comforts aside and just trying things. I will be perfectly honest, when I first arrived at school I was in a similar situation. For a period I spent a good deal of time in my comfort zone. Watching movies with a couple close friends every night, going on walks in the park or around campus, and when we felt adventurous, circling around the hookah. However, it eventually became stagnant and even though I was self-confident and happy, things were getting boring. So I just said "bah, fuck this noise" and asked my roomate (who was a big partier) if he'd get me tore up. Did I turn into a party animal? No, not really. It just sort of expanded my horizons as far as social environments I was comfortable/familiar with. I still mostly just watch movies with friends and fill my lungs with strawberry flavored arabic tobacco for the most part while my roomates go out and find out what the meaning of one tequila, two tequila more is.

I guess the moral of my post is really off no significant contribution to the thread as a whole other than to say that Yes, find your comfort area and blossom and all that bullshit, but also to not close off "uncomfortable environments"

MotherFirefly

I didn't drink at all last year and I encountered your same problems. These people are giving great advice.

I got involved with the student radio station. Also (if you're at all religious) there were some groups that I went to that did a bunch of fun activities on friday nights. I also found that if you just bring it up in conversation you're going to find a lot more people than you think--you also should ask people if they know people. I met like 20 new people that way. We ended up doing "movie nights" on Saturdays which consisted of a trip to blockbuster and CVS.

Another one we had was the outdoors club--those people are the least judgemental people you'll ever meet and they're guaranteed to get you off campus every weekend.

brandotheninjamaster

If you plan on doing something school related I would suggest something physical. Something to keep so occupied that when you are doing you don't have time to think of the significant other. Plus the endorphin boost you get from working out will help (help you not make you) be in a better mood. Maybe running, or weights, etc etc, something to get the blood pumping and remind you that you are still alive.