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[PHALLA!] Something Phallic

ElJeffeElJeffe Moderator, ClubPA mod
edited October 2007 in Debate and/or Discourse
Session Start (CardboardBox:NeedlepointVampire): Sun Sep 30 15:04:04 2007

[15:04] NeedlepointVampire: Hey.
[15:23] NeedlepointVampire: I said hey. you going to answer me?
[15:24] CardboardBox: Sorry, pr0n called.
[15:24] NeedlepointVampire: I so didn’t need to know that.
[15:30] NeedlepointVampire: Hello?
[15:30] NeedlepointVampire: Are you still fucking whacking it, or what?
[15:31] CardboardBox: Sorry.
[15:31] CardboardBox: What’s up?
[15:31] NeedlepointVampire: You guys still getting all that goatse shit?
[15:32] CardboardBox: Yeah, Phallus Arcade is still Gaping Asshole Central.
[15:32] CardboardBox: How’s stuff at Something Phallic? You guys getting it, too?
[15:32] NeedlepointVampire: Yeah.
[15:32] CardboardBox: Or did you find the guys yet?
[15:32] CardboardBox: Oh. Suck.
[15:33] NeedlepointVampire: Members are dropping like flies. Guys should learn not to fucking come here during work. I guess nobody likes to visit from home, or something.
[15:34] CardboardBox: srsly
[15:34] NeedlepointVampire: At least five people had their works IP block SP this week. We’re running out of regs.
[15:35] CardboardBox: Same here. We lost like seven or eight.
[15:35] CardboardBox: And nobody wants to register, because we have a rep as “
[15:35] CardboardBox: land of the fucking anus” or something.
[15:36] CardboardBox: Fucking weak.
[15:37] NeedlepointVampire: Yeah, I heae ya.
[15:37] NeedlepointVampire: hear ya.
[15:37] NeedlepointVampire: You know, our forum still kicks your forums ass. Even with all the goatse.
[15:45] NeedlepointVampire: PULL UP YOUR GODDAMED PANTS FUCKER
[15:46] CardboardBox: Shut up bitch.
[15:46] CardboardBox: And no it doesn’t. Phallus Arcade is King of the Forums. Something Phallicis a pathetic imitator.
[15:47] NeedlepointVampire: Whatever.
[15:47] NeedlepointVampire: \ / \ / hatever.
[15:48] NeedlepointVampire: Gotta go man. ttyl
[15:49] CardboardBox: Later.
Session Close (NeedlepointVampire): Wed Aug 08 15:13:47 2007

Maddie: "I named my feet. The left one is flip and the right one is flop. Oh, and also I named my flip-flops."

I make tweet.
ElJeffe on
«13456725

Posts

  • ElJeffeElJeffe Moderator, ClubPA mod
    edited September 2007
    Two forums, both alike in dignity, in fair yadda yadda whatever.

    In the dank jungle that is the intarweb, there are two forums. Well, there’re a whole bunch of forums, but only two are worth discussion: Phalla Arcade, and Something Phallic. Both pride themselves on being the best the net has to offer, their forumers the crème de la crème. Both are largely full of self-important yahoos who revel in dick jokes and… well, that’s about it.

    All has been well in the PA and SP communities, until recently. In the past few weeks, there has been a rash of goatse attacks. People have been signing up to the boards, posting photos of weeping man-maw, and then running away giggling. (Or, rather, being banned with great prejudice.) At first it was thought that the menace originated from outside, from the great untamed wilderness of the web, but those running the communities now think differently. They think the perpetrators are insiders, long-time regs who have been wearied by the heavy yoke of same-old-same-old. People who create alts, post dude-ass, and then feign horror with the rest of their forums.

    That the assault has happened simultaneously on both forumers suggests that the perps are working together – a frightening thought indeed. Or maybe just sort of weird, whatever.

    Even more insidious, the goatse’ers’ attacks aren’t limited to the simple posting of goatse. Oh no, these deviants seek to ruin people’s lives, as well, to the extent that impeding the workings of a silly internet forum constitutes “ruining lives”. The fiends have realized that, for whatever reason, people only ever post from work. They have also, then, taken to anonymously emailing the HR departments of forumers’ workplaces about the presence of “inappropriate images” on the forums, with links to the offending sphincter-pics. As such, forumers have had access to their beloved forums blocked. The horror! The humanity! The laughably improbable plot device!

    The staff at each forum has proved laughably inept at rooting out the goatse’ers, and so they have turned to their forumers, asking them who they think might be responsible for this mess. Maybe the proles can succeed where the glorious leaders have failed.

    ElJeffe on
    Maddie: "I named my feet. The left one is flip and the right one is flop. Oh, and also I named my flip-flops."

    I make tweet.
  • ElJeffeElJeffe Moderator, ClubPA mod
    edited September 2007
    Welcome to Something Phallic!

    Your happy little corner of the internet fancies itself a family of fun-loving blokes. You’re not a group of snooty eggheads like those pretentious bastards over at Phalla Arcade - you know how to have a good time. And if it happens that a “good time” happens to usually involve toilet humor, well, so be it. SP’s admin is NeedlepointVampire.

    The membership of Something Phallic is posted below.

    You normally have three moderators, but one of them recently became disgusted and left, never to return. Your current moderators are:

    Unearthly Stew
    Romantic Undead

    You will need to elect a third moderator; the vote for this will close Monday, Oct. 1st at 8:00pm.


    Rules:

    Each night, you’ll vote for who you wish to be booted from the forum community. Votes for removal should be bolded and red'd. This person will be IP banned from Something Phallic. (In Phalla terms, he dies.)

    When someone is IP banned (ie, dies), or has access blocked by their place of employment (ie, dies), he immediately registers at Phalla Arcade. You guys may be bitter rivals, but deep down you recognize that you’re two sides of the same juvenile, sex-obsessed coin. In order to be removed from the game, you must be “removed” from both forums. This applies to good guys as well as bad guys.

    Any powers you may have at one forum transfer to the other forum, unless the role description in your PM says otherwise. Powers may only be used against members of your current forum. An analyst at Something Phallic can not use his analyst powers against a member of Phalla Arcade, for example.

    You are encouraged to read the threads corresponding to both forums, but you may ONLY POST IN WHATEVER THREAD CORRESPONDING TO THE FORUM YOU BELONG TO. If you are a Something Phallic member, you may only post in SP. If you’re killed, you may then only post in Phalla Arcade. If you’re killed again, you’re out, and you don’t get to post no more.

    These are the roles and how many of each there are per forum as of now. Except for Moderators, you only get to see the names of the roles, not their powers:

    Plain Ol Forumer (6)
    Big Fish (2)
    Persona Non Grata (2)
    Analyst (2)
    Coworker (4)
    Alt (2)
    Jr. Admin (1)
    Moderator (2)
    Goatse Technician (3) [these are the badguys]
    Goatse Alt (1)

    About Moderators:
    Moderators are elected by popular vote. On days when there are mod vacancies, each person may vote for one individual to be a mod. Votes should be bolded and limed. Those with the highest vote counts at the close of voting will be made mods the following day. Once you’re a mod, you’re a mod for life; there is no way to remove you, unless you’re banned, blocked, or you willingly resign. The mods collectively have the following powers:

    - Once per night, the mods may decide upon one person to ban. The decision doesn’t have to be unanimous. If there is a tie, the target will be chosen randomly by the admin (that’s me, your gracious host). As long as any one mod selects a target, a mod-ban will occur.

    - The mods may veto the public ban vote. This requires unanimous consensus among current mods. (If there are only two mods unbanned on a current night, only those two need to vote for a veto). There will be no vote-by-proxies on this – all the mods must be around to veto the vote in person, or it doesn’t happen.

    If a mod is banned or blocked on a given night, the vote for his replacement will take place the following day. If a mod resigns, the vote will take place immediately. If a mod resigns 5 minutes before the vote closes, the regs have 5 minutes to vote for a replacement. If no votes for a new mod are made by the close of voting, the vote will occur on the next day, as if the mod had died.

    In the event of a tie vote, the modship is granted randomly to one of the top vote-getters.

    Win Conditions:
    To win, the good guys must eliminate all Goatse Technicians in both forums.

    The Goatse Technicians win if the good guys fail to eliminate them all. If all GTs are eliminated in one forum but not in the other, the GTs win.


    Addendum (this is where rule clarifications will go):

    Voting closes each night at 8:00pm PST.
    The first vote will be Monday, Oct. 1

    Moderators were chosen at random from among all players after roles were given out. The initial moderators may also be specials or bad guys.

    If the moderators successfully veto the ban vote, there will be no banning that night.

    Order of actions:

    - Moderator kills
    - Bad guy kills
    - Vote kills
    - Election results


    This is the text of the default forumer PM, so nobody can use it for verification purposes:
    Plain Ol Forumer
    Something Phallic


    There’s nothing special about you. Half the time, people don’t even remember who the hell you are. You nurse the hope that someday you might become a moderator, because that may serve as a ticket out of obscurity. Plain Ol Forumers get the following powers:

    - You may combine with four other Plain Ol Forumers to form Voltron. Nah, just kidding, you don’t get shit. There’s nothing special about you, remember?

    ElJeffe on
    Maddie: "I named my feet. The left one is flip and the right one is flop. Oh, and also I named my flip-flops."

    I make tweet.
  • ElJeffeElJeffe Moderator, ClubPA mod
    edited September 2007
    Members:

    The original members of Something Phallic are:

    Medopine
    Variable
    NATIK
    Oatway
    AngelHedgie
    HylianBunny
    RomanticUndead
    Casual Eddy
    Niceguy Myeye
    Crono729

    The members of Something Phallic who are rejects from Phalla Arcade are:

    froggy
    Oboro
    Laos
    gundam470
    Fuzzy Cumulonimbus Cloud

    Your mods are currently:

    Romantic Undead
    Fuzzy Cumulonimbus Cloud
    Laos

    ElJeffe on
    Maddie: "I named my feet. The left one is flip and the right one is flop. Oh, and also I named my flip-flops."

    I make tweet.
  • visiblehowlvisiblehowl He/Him Neutron Nerd Registered User regular
    edited September 2007
    No wai, first?

    visiblehowl on
    vxsHp3F.gif
    I die evry tiem in Sekiro on Twitch
  • MalkorMalkor Registered User regular
    edited September 2007
    No wai, first?

    grats, yo.

    Malkor on
    14271f3c-c765-4e74-92b1-49d7612675f2.jpg
  • ElJeffeElJeffe Moderator, ClubPA mod
    edited September 2007
    Wai.

    Also, I added an addendum to the rules post.

    ElJeffe on
    Maddie: "I named my feet. The left one is flip and the right one is flop. Oh, and also I named my flip-flops."

    I make tweet.
  • visiblehowlvisiblehowl He/Him Neutron Nerd Registered User regular
    edited September 2007
    Malkor wrote: »
    No wai, first?

    grats, yo.

    I woulda been first in the other one too, but I can't post there. :(

    visiblehowl on
    vxsHp3F.gif
    I die evry tiem in Sekiro on Twitch
  • ArdorArdor Registered User regular
    edited September 2007
    This forum kicks ass. Phalla Arcade blows, I feel sorry for anyone who has to put up with their moderators.

    Ardor on
  • Romantic UndeadRomantic Undead Registered User regular
    edited September 2007
    Welcome to my forum, bitches

    I <3 you all.

    Romantic Undead on
    3DS FC: 1547-5210-6531
  • MalkorMalkor Registered User regular
    edited September 2007
    Ardor wrote: »
    This forum kicks ass. Phalla Arcade blows, I feel sorry for anyone who has to put up with their moderators.
    Correct, our mods are superior for all those reasons and more.

    Malkor on
    14271f3c-c765-4e74-92b1-49d7612675f2.jpg
  • Romantic UndeadRomantic Undead Registered User regular
    edited September 2007
    Malkor wrote: »
    Ardor wrote: »
    This forum kicks ass. Phalla Arcade blows, I feel sorry for anyone who has to put up with their moderators.
    Correct, our mods are superior for all those reasons and more.

    Why thank you Malkor, you get cookies!

    Romantic Undead on
    3DS FC: 1547-5210-6531
  • JamesKeenanJamesKeenan Registered User regular
    edited September 2007
    Cookies, and lots of cocks. For fun, y'know?

    JamesKeenan on
  • Romantic UndeadRomantic Undead Registered User regular
    edited September 2007
    Cookies, and lots of cocks. For fun, y'know?

    Far be it for me to refuse a man who desires cock.

    Romantic Undead on
    3DS FC: 1547-5210-6531
  • JamesKeenanJamesKeenan Registered User regular
    edited September 2007
    Cookies, and lots of cocks. For fun, y'know?

    Far be it for me to refuse a man who desires cock.

    Is that an offer?

    :winky:

    JamesKeenan on
  • ArdorArdor Registered User regular
    edited September 2007
    Cookies, and lots of cocks. For fun, y'know?

    Far be it for me to refuse a man who desires cock.

    Is that an offer?

    :winky:

    He had to earn his modship somehow.

    Or maybe it's a cry for help.

    Ardor on
  • ElJeffeElJeffe Moderator, ClubPA mod
    edited September 2007
    I would like to point out that I am well aware that large parts of the backstory are completely illogical, and I play fast and loose with things like how the internet actually works.

    ElJeffe on
    Maddie: "I named my feet. The left one is flip and the right one is flop. Oh, and also I named my flip-flops."

    I make tweet.
  • Romantic UndeadRomantic Undead Registered User regular
    edited September 2007
    Ardor wrote: »
    Cookies, and lots of cocks. For fun, y'know?

    Far be it for me to refuse a man who desires cock.

    Is that an offer?

    :winky:

    He had to earn his modship somehow.

    Or maybe it's a cry for help.

    Hey man, as long as I'm the Giver..

    O shi...

    Romantic Undead on
    3DS FC: 1547-5210-6531
  • MalkorMalkor Registered User regular
    edited September 2007
    ElJeffe wrote: »
    I would like to point out that I am well aware that large parts of the backstory are completely illogical, and I play fast and loose with things like how the internet actually works.
    Everyone know it's a series of tubes far below the earth.

    Malkor on
    14271f3c-c765-4e74-92b1-49d7612675f2.jpg
  • JamesKeenanJamesKeenan Registered User regular
    edited September 2007
    ElJeffe wrote: »
    I would like to point out that I am well aware that large parts of the backstory are completely illogical, and I play fast and loose with things like how the internet actually works.

    You're assuming sense needs to be made for something like this to work. That's your first mistake.

    JamesKeenan on
  • IreneDAdlerIreneDAdler Registered User regular
    edited September 2007
    ElJeffe wrote: »
    I would like to point out that I am well aware that large parts of the backstory are completely illogical, and I play fast and loose with things like how the internet actually works.

    20070716.jpg

    Just teasing :) The story's just fine. Is there a particular reason the normal regs can't know what the roles do? Are the mods allowed to tell us about each role's powers as the game goes on?

    IreneDAdler on
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • Casual EddyCasual Eddy Don't despair. Not even over the fact that you don't despair.Registered User regular
    edited September 2007
    hey there fellow forumers!

    Casual Eddy on
    Elki wrote: »

    Casual Eddy: best poster 2014.
    tyrannus wrote: »
    Casual Eddy: best poster of 2015

    gotta update that stuff man
  • IreneDAdlerIreneDAdler Registered User regular
    edited September 2007
    hey there fellow forumers!

    zomg hai!

    IreneDAdler on
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • ElJeffeElJeffe Moderator, ClubPA mod
    edited September 2007
    Just teasing :) The story's just fine. Is there a particular reason the normal regs can't know what the roles do? Are the mods allowed to tell us about each role's powers as the game goes on?

    I think it'll make things more interesting if the players don't know exactly what things to. The powers are appropriate given the roles' names, so you can probably get some idea of what they do just by thinking about it.

    Mods don't have any special knowledge. If they knew more, maybe there wouldn't be a goatse epidemic to begin with. :)

    ElJeffe on
    Maddie: "I named my feet. The left one is flip and the right one is flop. Oh, and also I named my flip-flops."

    I make tweet.
  • Romantic UndeadRomantic Undead Registered User regular
    edited September 2007
    ElJeffe wrote: »
    Just teasing :) The story's just fine. Is there a particular reason the normal regs can't know what the roles do? Are the mods allowed to tell us about each role's powers as the game goes on?

    I think it'll make things more interesting if the players don't know exactly what things to. The powers are appropriate given the roles' names, so you can probably get some idea of what they do just by thinking about it.

    Mods don't have any special knowledge. If they knew more, maybe there wouldn't be a goatse epidemic to begin with. :)

    Well, that's what you get for letting relative n00bs like me become a mod.
    I mean, really, what were you thinking? :lol:

    Romantic Undead on
    3DS FC: 1547-5210-6531
  • IreneDAdlerIreneDAdler Registered User regular
    edited September 2007
    ElJeffe wrote: »
    Just teasing :) The story's just fine. Is there a particular reason the normal regs can't know what the roles do? Are the mods allowed to tell us about each role's powers as the game goes on?

    I think it'll make things more interesting if the players don't know exactly what things to. The powers are appropriate given the roles' names, so you can probably get some idea of what they do just by thinking about it.

    Mods don't have any special knowledge. If they knew more, maybe there wouldn't be a goatse epidemic to begin with. :)

    Oooh. I misread one sentence in your rules post. You wrote "Except for moderators, you don't see what powers each role has." I interpreted that as "Only moderators get to see the powers of each role." Ok, that makes more sense.

    IreneDAdler on
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • Casual EddyCasual Eddy Don't despair. Not even over the fact that you don't despair.Registered User regular
    edited September 2007
    hey there fellow forumers!

    zomg hai!

    (this is my chance to start out new! make a name for myself!)

    Hi everyone, I love sex with women. It's a great thing.

    Casual Eddy on
    Elki wrote: »

    Casual Eddy: best poster 2014.
    tyrannus wrote: »
    Casual Eddy: best poster of 2015

    gotta update that stuff man
  • IreneDAdlerIreneDAdler Registered User regular
    edited September 2007
    Well, that's what you get for letting relative n00bs like me become a mod.
    I mean, really, what were you thinking? :lol:

    Good point. We should ban him and elect someone who has a fucking clue, mirite?

    IreneDAdler on
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • duraxdurax Who watches the watchdogs? Registered User regular
    edited September 2007
    cocks, dicks, olol
    Am I doing this right?

    durax on
  • Casual EddyCasual Eddy Don't despair. Not even over the fact that you don't despair.Registered User regular
    edited September 2007
    I don't actually know much about SA... er... SP. Is there actually a rivalry?

    Casual Eddy on
    Elki wrote: »

    Casual Eddy: best poster 2014.
    tyrannus wrote: »
    Casual Eddy: best poster of 2015

    gotta update that stuff man
  • IreneDAdlerIreneDAdler Registered User regular
    edited September 2007
    hey there fellow forumers!

    zomg hai!

    (this is my chance to start out new! make a name for myself!)

    Hi everyone, I love sex with women. It's a great thing.

    (this is my chance to shed my good-girl persona)

    Hey there cowboy, if you like sex with women so much, why don't you come give me a try ;)

    IreneDAdler on
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • IreneDAdlerIreneDAdler Registered User regular
    edited September 2007
    durax wrote: »
    cocks, dicks, olol
    Am I doing this right?

    No u n00b, itz coxdixlol!

    IreneDAdler on
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • Casual EddyCasual Eddy Don't despair. Not even over the fact that you don't despair.Registered User regular
    edited September 2007
    hey there fellow forumers!

    zomg hai!

    (this is my chance to start out new! make a name for myself!)

    Hi everyone, I love sex with women. It's a great thing.

    (this is my chance to shed my good-girl persona)

    Hey there cowboy, if you like sex with women so much, why don't you come give me a try ;)

    I will enjoy... uh.. touching your vagina.

    Casual Eddy on
    Elki wrote: »

    Casual Eddy: best poster 2014.
    tyrannus wrote: »
    Casual Eddy: best poster of 2015

    gotta update that stuff man
  • IreneDAdlerIreneDAdler Registered User regular
    edited September 2007
    I will enjoy... uh.. touching your vagina.

    Hellz no! I offered you a snack, not the whole kitchen!

    IreneDAdler on
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • JamesKeenanJamesKeenan Registered User regular
    edited September 2007
    hey there fellow forumers!

    zomg hai!

    (this is my chance to start out new! make a name for myself!)

    Hi everyone, I love sex with women. It's a great thing.

    (this is my chance to shed my good-girl persona)

    Hey there cowboy, if you like sex with women so much, why don't you come give me a try ;)

    I will enjoy... uh.. touching your vagina.


    Lawlerskates! You said vagina! Fag! olol

    JamesKeenan on
  • Casual EddyCasual Eddy Don't despair. Not even over the fact that you don't despair.Registered User regular
    edited September 2007
    I will enjoy... uh.. touching your vagina.

    Hellz no! I offered you a snack, not the whole kitchen!

    Then let's... look at baby stuff? That's what we do right, think about producing babies?

    Casual Eddy on
    Elki wrote: »

    Casual Eddy: best poster 2014.
    tyrannus wrote: »
    Casual Eddy: best poster of 2015

    gotta update that stuff man
  • ArdorArdor Registered User regular
    edited September 2007
    So the OP basically states that our moderators have failed in their jobs and are worthless, in fact, the regular forumers are probably more suited to take on the task of cleansing the forums.

    I vote we propose a deal to these goatse-loving folk, we support them in their rule over at Phalla Arcade, so we send them over there and we help put them in charge. As long as our forum is clear, I'm not certain we care what happens over there.

    It'll be a like a puppet government.

    Ardor on
  • Romantic UndeadRomantic Undead Registered User regular
    edited September 2007
    hey there fellow forumers!

    zomg hai!

    (this is my chance to start out new! make a name for myself!)

    Hi everyone, I love sex with women. It's a great thing.

    WHAAAT? Faggotry? IN MY FORUM?

    GET YE BEHIND ME SATAN!

    Romantic Undead on
    3DS FC: 1547-5210-6531
  • visiblehowlvisiblehowl He/Him Neutron Nerd Registered User regular
    edited September 2007
    We're totally kicking PA's ass. We're a full page ahead in posts.

    Post war.

    visiblehowl on
    vxsHp3F.gif
    I die evry tiem in Sekiro on Twitch
  • JamesKeenanJamesKeenan Registered User regular
    edited September 2007
    Yeah, fuck their shit. It sucks.

    (Do the goatse technicians actually get to post goatse? If they can, won't that give them away? Maybe they can't post directly, but through an allowable alt. Goatse alt? If they can't, do we have to pretend they've posted? Am I allowed to ask about rules and roles?)

    JamesKeenan on
  • ArdorArdor Registered User regular
    edited September 2007
    I think RU sent me a pm about our the inevitable war between our forums. It was very encouraging. It said, "We are going to prove that Something Phallic is better than PA. So here are my words of encouragement to you all! "Don't Suck." That is all."


    It wasn't very uplifting but did get the point across. Although recent conversation leads me to believe he was leading me on.

    Ardor on
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