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I recently met this girl and things have been getting serious. And it seems as if she wants to have sex.
This being my first time I'm quite nervous, about virtually everything. I've heard about shaving/trimming the crotch area and I'm wondering if I should. More less thinking trimming is the much better option.
I started off with trimming, then went to shaving. I prefer shaving, as it's just easier.
The only thing I learned was to shave with the grain of the hair (down in my case). I never experienced any in-grown hairs or irritation after I started doing this.
I've also never cut myself, even having used a regular razor and electric.
Dhalphirdon't you open that trapdooryou're a fool if you dareRegistered Userregular
edited October 2007
First time you have sex you will be nervous.
And, expect to have some trouble keeping it up at first.
You may not have this trouble, but I did, and so did a fair few of my friends. And I can't imagine they lied about it.
As to shaving, personally I recommend you do it. But not just before your first time...do it a couple weeks before your first time at least.
Lastly, does the girl know you're a virgin? You should tell her, if you can. It'll make the event a lot less painful if something goes wrong, because she'll understand your inexperience.
Lastly, does the girl know you're a virgin?
Yes, I told her recently. She seems pretty understanding about everything so far.
But not just before your first time...do it a couple weeks before your first time at least.
I'm not exactly sure, but it seems as if it'll be within the next weekish, so I doubt I have a few weeks. So I plan on just trimming it short.
My best advice would be to have a sense of humor about things, if she farts or something don't act all horrified and tell her to leave, just laugh, sex is kind of funny. Don't go into it thinking you're going to rock her world, keep a good flow of communication, tell her what feels good and she'll probably let you know what she finds pleasurable as well. Take things easy and slow. Maybe have some chill music playing or some incense or whatever keeps you good and relaxed (mmm Red House Painters and some Nag Champa and some good girlfriend lovin').
And, hey, I really hope you have a great first time; and, if you don't, don't let it bother you too much, just keep at it and before you know it you'll just laugh at how ridiculous your whole idea system surrounding sex was before you had it.
Shaving? Since you don't know when it's going to happen I'd hold off, you kind of have to condition a full on shaved cock. Just trim it up nice and neat and perhaps do a little shaving of the shaft, very gently. Chances are you'll be wearing a condom anyway so shaving really isn't going to be quite the same thing as it would be if you weren't.
Oh, and wear a condom; maybe I'm just paranoid about this but I don't want to be tricked into fatherhood by someone who told me she was on birth control (in addition to my own stupidity in coming inside of her).
To add to what Uncle Long said...
I think one thing people forget in the bedroom is good communication. Like suddenly everybody needs to be a mind reader. Don't fall into that trap, as bedroom communication can not only make sure everybody is happy but also heighten the mood. For example, if you like something, say so. This way you will get more of that. And don't be afraid to ask what she enjoys, as everybody is different, and you might need a helping hand.
My first time was with a more experienced girl, and she had no problem training me into exactly what she wanted. I think she got a kick out of it.
Also use a condom, more preferably one that has spermicide and is able to desensitize you. That way, you can last longer, and it will be more fun for you and her.
Lastly, have fun! Sex can be a big hit or miss. Take it easy, don't stress out and make sure you know what she likes. Oh, and pay attention to her. They like that sort of stuff.
Don't be afraid to laugh if something funny happens. I can't count the number of times something odd will happen that makes me laugh. Things slip out, people slip around, falling off the bed, animals watching, roommates coming home. Sex doesn't have to be the most serious thing in the world, it's fun. And use protection, always, until you+partner want a child.
Speaking of condoms, does anyone have specific recommendation as to what type of condom I should buy? I just don't want to stand in a store looking like some idiot checking out all the different types.
Speaking of condoms, does anyone have specific recommendation as to what type of condom I should buy? I just don't want to stand in a store looking like some idiot checking out all the different types.
To be honest, I still haven't found my type. It's kind of one of those things that you have to just figure out. Go with something kind of plain with a spermicidal lube for now. Don't get magnums or anything unless you know you've got a huge cock.
I would advise against shaving completely—the first time is weird enough as it is. Just trim a little for her teeths’ sake.
Stick with Durex or Lifestyles, they hold up well, and stay the hell away from Trojans. Whatever you do, don’t rely on the crappy free condoms that health organizations give out—some of them are fine, but others are total shit, and there’s no way to know without a brand. They’re better than no condom, but not good.
Stick with Durex or Lifestyles, they hold up well, and stay the hell away from Trojans. Whatever you do, don’t rely on the crappy free condoms that health organizations give out—some of them are fine, but others are total shit, and there’s no way to know without a brand. They’re better than no condom, but not good.
You really have to back up claims like this. Every study I've read show condoms, from nearly every major US brand, have an extremely low rate of failure given proper use. They all undergo testing to ensure breakage will not occur. Basically, condoms are one of the more reliable products you'll ever buy.
So OP, don't go getting scared. Condom effectiveness, for birth control, is cited at 98% or higher when used properly. Error rates come far more frequently from misuse than breakage. Moral of the story: read up on proper use and you have little to worry about.
Hewn on
Steam: hewn
Warframe: TheBaconDwarf
0
Blake TDo you have enemies then?Good. That means you’ve stood up for something, sometime in your life.Registered Userregular
edited October 2007
OP why are you wanting to go skin fresh down there? I think that's a more minor thing to worry about in the scheme of things.
OP why are you wanting to go skin fresh down there? I think that's a more minor thing to worry about in the scheme of things.
You're right, in the overall picture, but I think it's a good idea to keep trimmed up. One doesn't need to be smooth as a baby, but things can get shaggy. I see it no different than keeping sideburns or neck hair in check.
OP why are you wanting to go skin fresh down there?
Because I get nervous about every little thing. I'm just so nervous about the prospect that I worry about every little thing. And I'm just a little too afraid to ask her about it.
And some other issues I can talk to with friends about, this isn't really one of them.
Hadou on
0
Dhalphirdon't you open that trapdooryou're a fool if you dareRegistered Userregular
edited October 2007
Yeah, back up the claim surrounding Trojans...but...
I use Durex, and I *LOVE* them.
At the moment I"m using the Extended Pleasure ones. I don't really have any need for these, I only use them because one time we were desperate for condoms and they were the only one the store had, and they only had them in boxes of 24. When I was with my girlfriend we tried bareback a few times and I lasted 1/2 hour plus without a condom, so even with the super sensitive condoms I last longer.
And I'm not bragging about this lasting a long time business. I FUCKING HATE IT. Its not only girls who sometimes have to fake orgasms, let me tell you that...
Dhalphir on
0
Blake TDo you have enemies then?Good. That means you’ve stood up for something, sometime in your life.Registered Userregular
OP why are you wanting to go skin fresh down there? I think that's a more minor thing to worry about in the scheme of things.
You're right, in the overall picture, but I think it's a good idea to keep trimmed up. One doesn't need to be smooth as a baby, but things can get shaggy. I see it no different than keeping sideburns or neck hair in check.
This is true.
Trim it a touch, for all you know you being baby-bottomed may not do anything for her.
I've heard way more stories about trojans breaking than about durex, but that's all they are -- stories. It's not like I know everyone in the world, so I have no claims to back it up.
Honestly speaking: Buy whichever brand of condom you feel like (I use a Durex Ultra Sensitive. You should go buy a couple of the small three packs and try them out while masturbating, maybe, to see which you like best. DO NOT BUY DESENSITIZING CONDOMS -- the reason they make you "last longer" is because they numb the area. They can make you go soft or just not feel anything.), as long as you know how to put it on right. This is the main reason these things break or don't work. Please. Go on google, watch yourself a video on a condom companies website on the proper way to apply a condom. Condoms are VERY effective when you know how to put them on.
And yeah, like others have said, go into it calmly and just relax. A lot of people put pressure on "losing your virginity" -- but honestly, unless you make it out to be more, all that means is that it's your first time ever having sex. It sounds much less scary said that way. Sex isn't like the movies, as you probably know. Things may be awkward, you may get nervous, you may lose your erection - just be calm and confident, if she's had sex before than this has happened to her before. If it happens, just go back to foreplay, I'm sure she won't mind if you give her a little more foreplay to get you back in the zone.
Key point: Listen to her, whatever you do.
Key point 2: Tell her if there's anything you want/like. As said before, nobody is a mind reader. The most important thing in good sex is good communication and the ability to laugh about things in bed.
Key point 3: Learn what queefing is (if you don't know already) so you're not all confused if/when it does happen.
As far as shaving goes .. did she ask you to, or do you just want to? It's your first time, I wouldn't overly complicate it with something like this. The last thing you want is to be really sensitive/itchy or to have cut yourself and have it make you nervous. Has she already seen you naked? If she wants to have sex with you .. well .. I don't see why you'd need to shave first.
Yeah, with how forthcoming it sounds like she's been about everything else, ponying up and simply asking isn't such a bad idea. I might wait until afterwards though - just slip in the question about what her preference is.
But for beforehand, I'd say just go with a quick trim. I do it just for myself nowadays anyway, as I find it to be a lot more comfortable. But a quick trim down to a reasonable level she'll appreciate almost certainly(whereas there are plenty of folks out there who get "weirded out" by men who have completely shaved).
After the comments I'm definitely not going to shave down there, especially since I have no idea when if ever it may happen.
As such I'm just going with a quick trim. Nothing fancy, just enough so it isn't everywhere. And see what she says (she's been amazingly cool thus far. I'm just paranoid).
And, expect to have some trouble keeping it up at first.
You may not have this trouble, but I did, and so did a fair few of my friends. And I can't imagine they lied about it.
Listen to this. Im going to add a +1 to it. Try hard not too think about it. The more nervous you are, the harder it is too sustain an erection. If possible do it somewhere you feel very comfortable and where there is no chance to be disturbed. Most of all have fun. First times are allways a bit iffy, and you can pretty much count on something going wrong.
Second bit of advice. Dont try and have sex half erect, from personal experience ive tried this and the condom has slipped off and things have gone all pear shaped.
Most of all thought, good luck, and don't think of it any more then any other time, sex is just sex. Nothing more
And, expect to have some trouble keeping it up at first.
You may not have this trouble, but I did, and so did a fair few of my friends. And I can't imagine they lied about it.
Jesus that would make me more nervous hearing that. Why is that? Nervous reaction or something?
chuckleberryfinn on
No Protoss players were underpowered during this post.
The last thread was actually very useful for my as someone posted a link to the Norelco Body Groomer. I'm very hairy down there all the way to the butt. I bought the body groomer at a Target and used and it was effective in removing all the hair around my balls and ass. Though since my hair is dark and course I used a regular razor to make everything nice and smooth. I even used the electric groomer on my chest hair last weekend too, again though I used a razor to shave the skin baby smooth. The end result is my girlfriend loves how less hairy I am and says it really shows my toned muscles now
And, expect to have some trouble keeping it up at first.
You may not have this trouble, but I did, and so did a fair few of my friends. And I can't imagine they lied about it.
Jesus that would make me more nervous hearing that. Why is that? Nervous reaction or something?
Yeah, it's just nerves, it happens to everyone. It's really not a big deal, it's just in the moment it's easy to make it INTO a big deal if you don't know it's normal for it to happen. It happens to a lot of guys the first time, and honestly, let me tell you right now that sometimes it's just going to happen for no good reason once in a blue moon. Due to things like stress, being tired, whatever.
As long as you know it's not a big deal, you'll be okay. You can laugh it off and get back to foreplay and then get back in the game, and if you can't still, at least you gave her a lot of fun for that night.
And YES to the Norelco Bodygroom. Man, I love that thing. I just use it to trim up, but it's awesome and makes things go so much faster. Plus, if you get it on Amazon.com, I think the price had dropped to $30-something last time I checked.
I think everyone, of both genders, appreciates some pube grooming. Some trimming will reduce sweat odors as well as make it more comfortable for both parties, in general. I can't imagine any woman saying "you know, I like [male], but I wish his balls had more hair."
However, I would definitely not shave your pubes if you've never had sex. While some people like it, it's not exactly more comfortable. It can lead to itching and crotch-stubble, meaning your girlfriend will be doubly-uncomfortable. More importantly, it's more jarring for males than females. As in, there are a sizeable number of girls who definitely prefer their men to have pubic hair. In other words, if you're interested in shaving off your pubes, wait until after you've had sex and after you're comfortable talking to a girlfriend about your pubic hair. If she sounds like she's supportive of the idea, go for it. If she says something like "uh, no, guys w/o pubes look like they're 12, and I have no interest in sex with a 12 year old," don't bother.
Woah, that Norelco bodygroom looks sweet as hell. Thanks for letting me know this even existed, guys. I too am pretty damn hairy in the region of *BEEP* and *BEEP*.
To add to the other comments, I would suggest trimming, yes, but not a complete shave. This isn't a porn movie, it's real life, and in real life, men have hair.
Posts
The only thing I learned was to shave with the grain of the hair (down in my case). I never experienced any in-grown hairs or irritation after I started doing this.
I've also never cut myself, even having used a regular razor and electric.
And, expect to have some trouble keeping it up at first.
You may not have this trouble, but I did, and so did a fair few of my friends. And I can't imagine they lied about it.
As to shaving, personally I recommend you do it. But not just before your first time...do it a couple weeks before your first time at least.
Lastly, does the girl know you're a virgin? You should tell her, if you can. It'll make the event a lot less painful if something goes wrong, because she'll understand your inexperience.
Yes, I told her recently. She seems pretty understanding about everything so far.
But not just before your first time...do it a couple weeks before your first time at least.
I'm not exactly sure, but it seems as if it'll be within the next weekish, so I doubt I have a few weeks. So I plan on just trimming it short.
Don't see the relevance but I'm 19.
And, hey, I really hope you have a great first time; and, if you don't, don't let it bother you too much, just keep at it and before you know it you'll just laugh at how ridiculous your whole idea system surrounding sex was before you had it.
Shaving? Since you don't know when it's going to happen I'd hold off, you kind of have to condition a full on shaved cock. Just trim it up nice and neat and perhaps do a little shaving of the shaft, very gently. Chances are you'll be wearing a condom anyway so shaving really isn't going to be quite the same thing as it would be if you weren't.
Oh, and wear a condom; maybe I'm just paranoid about this but I don't want to be tricked into fatherhood by someone who told me she was on birth control (in addition to my own stupidity in coming inside of her).
Ryan M Long Photography
Buy my Prints!
To add to what Uncle Long said...
I think one thing people forget in the bedroom is good communication. Like suddenly everybody needs to be a mind reader. Don't fall into that trap, as bedroom communication can not only make sure everybody is happy but also heighten the mood. For example, if you like something, say so. This way you will get more of that. And don't be afraid to ask what she enjoys, as everybody is different, and you might need a helping hand.
My first time was with a more experienced girl, and she had no problem training me into exactly what she wanted. I think she got a kick out of it.
Warframe: TheBaconDwarf
Quite irrelevant, but I was curious.
Also use a condom, more preferably one that has spermicide and is able to desensitize you. That way, you can last longer, and it will be more fun for you and her.
Lastly, have fun! Sex can be a big hit or miss. Take it easy, don't stress out and make sure you know what she likes. Oh, and pay attention to her. They like that sort of stuff.
To be honest, I still haven't found my type. It's kind of one of those things that you have to just figure out. Go with something kind of plain with a spermicidal lube for now. Don't get magnums or anything unless you know you've got a huge cock.
Ryan M Long Photography
Buy my Prints!
Stick with Durex or Lifestyles, they hold up well, and stay the hell away from Trojans. Whatever you do, don’t rely on the crappy free condoms that health organizations give out—some of them are fine, but others are total shit, and there’s no way to know without a brand. They’re better than no condom, but not good.
You really have to back up claims like this. Every study I've read show condoms, from nearly every major US brand, have an extremely low rate of failure given proper use. They all undergo testing to ensure breakage will not occur. Basically, condoms are one of the more reliable products you'll ever buy.
So OP, don't go getting scared. Condom effectiveness, for birth control, is cited at 98% or higher when used properly. Error rates come far more frequently from misuse than breakage. Moral of the story: read up on proper use and you have little to worry about.
Warframe: TheBaconDwarf
Satans..... hints.....
You're right, in the overall picture, but I think it's a good idea to keep trimmed up. One doesn't need to be smooth as a baby, but things can get shaggy. I see it no different than keeping sideburns or neck hair in check.
Warframe: TheBaconDwarf
Why? They've worked perfectly for me.
Because I get nervous about every little thing. I'm just so nervous about the prospect that I worry about every little thing. And I'm just a little too afraid to ask her about it.
And some other issues I can talk to with friends about, this isn't really one of them.
I use Durex, and I *LOVE* them.
At the moment I"m using the Extended Pleasure ones. I don't really have any need for these, I only use them because one time we were desperate for condoms and they were the only one the store had, and they only had them in boxes of 24. When I was with my girlfriend we tried bareback a few times and I lasted 1/2 hour plus without a condom, so even with the super sensitive condoms I last longer.
And I'm not bragging about this lasting a long time business. I FUCKING HATE IT. Its not only girls who sometimes have to fake orgasms, let me tell you that...
This is true.
Trim it a touch, for all you know you being baby-bottomed may not do anything for her.
Either that or ask her.
Satans..... hints.....
Honestly speaking: Buy whichever brand of condom you feel like (I use a Durex Ultra Sensitive. You should go buy a couple of the small three packs and try them out while masturbating, maybe, to see which you like best. DO NOT BUY DESENSITIZING CONDOMS -- the reason they make you "last longer" is because they numb the area. They can make you go soft or just not feel anything.), as long as you know how to put it on right. This is the main reason these things break or don't work. Please. Go on google, watch yourself a video on a condom companies website on the proper way to apply a condom. Condoms are VERY effective when you know how to put them on.
And yeah, like others have said, go into it calmly and just relax. A lot of people put pressure on "losing your virginity" -- but honestly, unless you make it out to be more, all that means is that it's your first time ever having sex. It sounds much less scary said that way. Sex isn't like the movies, as you probably know. Things may be awkward, you may get nervous, you may lose your erection - just be calm and confident, if she's had sex before than this has happened to her before. If it happens, just go back to foreplay, I'm sure she won't mind if you give her a little more foreplay to get you back in the zone.
Key point: Listen to her, whatever you do.
Key point 2: Tell her if there's anything you want/like. As said before, nobody is a mind reader. The most important thing in good sex is good communication and the ability to laugh about things in bed.
Key point 3: Learn what queefing is (if you don't know already) so you're not all confused if/when it does happen.
As far as shaving goes .. did she ask you to, or do you just want to? It's your first time, I wouldn't overly complicate it with something like this. The last thing you want is to be really sensitive/itchy or to have cut yourself and have it make you nervous. Has she already seen you naked? If she wants to have sex with you .. well .. I don't see why you'd need to shave first.
But for beforehand, I'd say just go with a quick trim. I do it just for myself nowadays anyway, as I find it to be a lot more comfortable. But a quick trim down to a reasonable level she'll appreciate almost certainly(whereas there are plenty of folks out there who get "weirded out" by men who have completely shaved).
As such I'm just going with a quick trim. Nothing fancy, just enough so it isn't everywhere. And see what she says (she's been amazingly cool thus far. I'm just paranoid).
Listen to this. Im going to add a +1 to it. Try hard not too think about it. The more nervous you are, the harder it is too sustain an erection. If possible do it somewhere you feel very comfortable and where there is no chance to be disturbed. Most of all have fun. First times are allways a bit iffy, and you can pretty much count on something going wrong.
Second bit of advice. Dont try and have sex half erect, from personal experience ive tried this and the condom has slipped off and things have gone all pear shaped.
Most of all thought, good luck, and don't think of it any more then any other time, sex is just sex. Nothing more
Jesus that would make me more nervous hearing that. Why is that? Nervous reaction or something?
http://www.shaveeverywhere.com/
Yeah, it's just nerves, it happens to everyone. It's really not a big deal, it's just in the moment it's easy to make it INTO a big deal if you don't know it's normal for it to happen. It happens to a lot of guys the first time, and honestly, let me tell you right now that sometimes it's just going to happen for no good reason once in a blue moon. Due to things like stress, being tired, whatever.
As long as you know it's not a big deal, you'll be okay. You can laugh it off and get back to foreplay and then get back in the game, and if you can't still, at least you gave her a lot of fun for that night.
And YES to the Norelco Bodygroom. Man, I love that thing. I just use it to trim up, but it's awesome and makes things go so much faster. Plus, if you get it on Amazon.com, I think the price had dropped to $30-something last time I checked.
However, I would definitely not shave your pubes if you've never had sex. While some people like it, it's not exactly more comfortable. It can lead to itching and crotch-stubble, meaning your girlfriend will be doubly-uncomfortable. More importantly, it's more jarring for males than females. As in, there are a sizeable number of girls who definitely prefer their men to have pubic hair. In other words, if you're interested in shaving off your pubes, wait until after you've had sex and after you're comfortable talking to a girlfriend about your pubic hair. If she sounds like she's supportive of the idea, go for it. If she says something like "uh, no, guys w/o pubes look like they're 12, and I have no interest in sex with a 12 year old," don't bother.
To add to the other comments, I would suggest trimming, yes, but not a complete shave. This isn't a porn movie, it's real life, and in real life, men have hair.
That is awesome.