As was foretold, we've added advertisements to the forums! If you have questions, or if you encounter any bugs, please visit this thread: https://forums.penny-arcade.com/discussion/240191/forum-advertisement-faq-and-reports-thread/
Options

I swear to God I will hit my roommate right in the face

jimninjajimninja Registered User regular
edited October 2007 in Social Entropy++
Okay, so here's the story about my roommate: he's from a suburb outside of Chicago, real white neighborhood. There wasn't a single black kid in his school. He called me 'bro' the first time we talked on the phone. He listens to terrible music nonstop. I have heard the song "GROUPIE" more times than I ever hoped to in my life during the past four weeks alone. He is a terrible wangsta. He was talking to his friend on a webcam last week, and he proceeded to call him a "n*g" (rhymes with pig) at least six times in the span of a minute. N*g posters, n*g music, n*g room. It was bad.

The day we moved in, I met his mother. If I had to sum her up in two words, it would be: Moose Bitch. Overbearing, naggy, cannot be wrong, four thousand pounds, loud. She has raised exactly the kind of son you would expect. He's a whiny, pussy little mama's boy who gets pissy and slams doors when things don't go his way. This point is important, because now we introduce character four: my girlfriend.

She spends probably four nights a week over here. This means that from, oh say, eight o clock onwards she's in here. The thing is? Asshole has the room to himself the rest of the day. I'm off doing shit, and when I'm not, I'm doing nothing somewhere besides my room because I cannot stand to be in there.

He will call me away from whatever I'm doing to bitch to me about something unimportant. The other day, he said "Look... there's a little thumb hole in my card sleeve so I can just slip it out instead of grabbing the card. Why haven't I been doing that?" He tapes the Colbert Report and South Park and Family Guy, which in itself is pretty alright, I like those shows. Do I like them at one in the morning at excessive volume? No. This is how he plays them. And God forbid there's a line coming up that he likes, because then we have to listen to it even louder, which of course makes it twice as funny!

So anyway, on a whim, my girlfriend and I logged into his Facebook tonight (he gave me his password back at the beginning of the school year so I could check his fucking AIM for him when he was out of the room. Smooth move). We proceeded to find an exchange between him and my girlfriend's roommate that included this little gem:
ugghh god it feels so good that you feel the same way...you have no idea. yeah the weekends is what bothers me the most because im here trying to get work done and they're always talking about some non-important shit that i dont wanna hear about...on top of that, its always 'REMOVED turn down your music', 'REMOVED can i turn off the light', etc. etc. and it just drives me nuts. i know the room is only 50% mine but i guess im just one of those people who would rather live alone, or atleast with people im more comfortable about. i hate to say it but something tells me that if this continues, we are gonna have to speak up about it, hopefully together, and figure out a solution..to give u an example of how bad this is for me, take this past sunday: they woke up and left at like 11:30, and came back at 7:30. 8 hours to myself, and yet the second they walked in my mood went sour drastically, almost like 'here we go again'. besides that, it seems to me like they dont have any other friends here and i think that that is another major problem too...maybe one day ill just come over and we'll do hw lol NUMBER REMOVED lemme know

Unimportant shit? From the guy who interrupted me as I was trying to get to class to tell me that there was a convenient hole in the cardsleeve of his wallet that he could use to remove cards from it? FUCK HIM. He gets the room pretty much 75% of the time, and when I have the gall to maybe try to go to bed before, say, three in the morning, or to spend time with my girlfriend, he gets that pissy attitude.

So what the fuck am I supposed to do? A month in, and I'm already about to stab him. Any ideas?

tl;dr my roommate is a racist selfish fuck do I punch him y'n

0198ec55.jpg
jimninja on
«134

Posts

  • Options
    RankenphileRankenphile Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood.Registered User, Moderator mod
    edited October 2007
    hey guys I really wanna punch this guy in the face because holy shit check out how awesome I am

    hello internet

    are you there

    I need some validation on my choosing to do this

    which is why I turned to the internet to make this decision for me and to brag about how awesome I am rather than actually taking action for myself



    is this thing on?

    Rankenphile on
    8406wWN.png
  • Options
    PonyPony Registered User regular
    edited October 2007
    i love you rankenphile

    Pony on
  • Options
    tsplittertsplitter Registered User regular
    edited October 2007
    kill him

    by him i mean yourself

    tsplitter on
    FqmsaJ6.png
  • Options
    potatoepotatoe Registered User regular
    edited October 2007
    do it rank

    punch him

    you'll be so cool

    potatoe on
  • Options
    tsplittertsplitter Registered User regular
    edited October 2007
    lets key his car

    tsplitter on
    FqmsaJ6.png
  • Options
    jimninjajimninja Registered User regular
    edited October 2007
    hey guys I really wanna punch this guy in the face because holy shit check out how awesome I am

    hello internet

    are you there

    I need some validation on my choosing to do this

    which is why I turned to the internet to make this decision for me and to brag about how awesome I am rather than actually taking action for myself



    is this thing on?

    :( Goddammit don't you turn against me this is the critical stage in the formation of my thread

    But seriously, what should I do? It's entirely possible that he would do petty shit like breaking my stuff if I hurt his tender little feelings, but something has to change.

    jimninja on
    0198ec55.jpg
  • Options
    satansfingerssatansfingers Registered User regular
    edited October 2007
    so your roommate is pissed at you and your girlfriend for being an obnoxious couple

    and then you logged into his facebook and snooped around

    and you feel he's the bad guy?

    satansfingers on
  • Options
    JavenJaven Registered User regular
    edited October 2007
    Stabbing him would solve your problem, but stabbing yourself would make you the better man.

    Think about it.

    Javen on
  • Options
    MeissnerdMeissnerd Registered User regular
    edited October 2007
    MOVE OUT

    Meissnerd on
  • Options
    mrpakumrpaku Registered User regular
    edited October 2007
    run over his mom with a car, that'll show him

    mrpaku on
  • Options
    ZephyrZephyr Registered User regular
    edited October 2007
    yeah i fucking beat up people irl

    so fucking hardcore

    do you wanna fight me

    Zephyr on
    16kakxt.jpg
  • Options
    Filler Inc.Filler Inc. Registered User regular
    edited October 2007
    They're fucking on a boat.

    Filler Inc. on
  • Options
    DarkPrimusDarkPrimus Registered User regular
    edited October 2007
    What sort of housing are we talking about?

    DarkPrimus on
  • Options
    RankenphileRankenphile Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood.Registered User, Moderator mod
    edited October 2007
    jimninja wrote: »
    hey guys I really wanna punch this guy in the face because holy shit check out how awesome I am

    hello internet

    are you there

    I need some validation on my choosing to do this

    which is why I turned to the internet to make this decision for me and to brag about how awesome I am rather than actually taking action for myself



    is this thing on?

    :( Goddammit don't you turn against me this is the critical stage in the formation of my thread

    But seriously, what should I do? It's entirely possible that he would do petty shit like breaking my stuff if I hurt his tender little feelings, but something has to change.

    how about you man up and talk to him about your differences instead of turning to the internet and crying about petty bullshit like we're here to wipe your ass

    Rankenphile on
    8406wWN.png
  • Options
    UbikUbik oh pete, that's later. maybe we'll be dead by then Registered User regular
    edited October 2007
    Man he just wants to bone your girlfriend's roommate.

    Quit blockin dat cock

    Ubik on
    l8e1peic77w3.jpg

  • Options
    SuaveSuave __BANNED USERS regular
    edited October 2007
    whatever

    Suave on
    love is the only way
  • Options
    jimninjajimninja Registered User regular
    edited October 2007
    Meissnerd wrote: »
    MOVE OUT

    Issue: rent is paid through next quarter.

    Also gosh you guys the stabbing wasn't supposed to be serious
    so your roommate is pissed at you and your girlfriend for being an obnoxious couple

    and then you logged into his facebook and snooped around

    and you feel he's the bad guy?

    Okay yeah I can acknowledge that this was not the smoothest move and I'm an asshole for it.

    But we are hardly an obnoxious couple. We keep out of his way, we spend the days out of the room, and all I ask is that maybe can we go to bed because of you know classes tomorrow morning?

    jimninja on
    0198ec55.jpg
  • Options
    JavenJaven Registered User regular
    edited October 2007
    If you hook up your girlfriends roommate and him you can have your girlfriend basically live with you and he can live with whatsherface

    Javen on
  • Options
    RankenphileRankenphile Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood.Registered User, Moderator mod
    edited October 2007
    and dude, don't you blame me that your bitchfest went straight into the shitter

    no matter how pretty you think it may be, a turd is still a turd

    Rankenphile on
    8406wWN.png
  • Options
    jimninjajimninja Registered User regular
    edited October 2007
    jimninja wrote: »
    hey guys I really wanna punch this guy in the face because holy shit check out how awesome I am

    hello internet

    are you there

    I need some validation on my choosing to do this

    which is why I turned to the internet to make this decision for me and to brag about how awesome I am rather than actually taking action for myself



    is this thing on?

    :( Goddammit don't you turn against me this is the critical stage in the formation of my thread

    But seriously, what should I do? It's entirely possible that he would do petty shit like breaking my stuff if I hurt his tender little feelings, but something has to change.

    how about you man up and talk to him about your differences instead of turning to the internet and crying about petty bullshit like we're here to wipe your ass

    Okay on my way right now, back in a few

    jimninja on
    0198ec55.jpg
  • Options
    LegacyLegacy Stuck Somewhere In Cyberspace The Grid(Seattle)Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited October 2007
    I'm glad I have decent roommates.

    The worst that they do is...um...watch Queer Eye. Or shit like that on TV.

    Legacy on
    Can we get the chemicals in. 'Cause anything's better than this.
  • Options
    Centipede DamascusCentipede Damascus Registered User regular
    edited October 2007
    I got one word for you man: Ninja Assassins

    okay, two words

    but still, they solve problems

    Centipede Damascus on
  • Options
    JavenJaven Registered User regular
    edited October 2007
    Or, failing that, stab yourself.

    It fixes your problem, and it doesn't even hurt that bad. Most movies really overact the whole stabbing thing.

    Javen on
  • Options
    GrathGrath I'm a much happier person these days Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited October 2007
    dude kids that live with only their parents forever then move in with other kids that live with their parents forever have problems adjusting.

    Grath on
  • Options
    UbikUbik oh pete, that's later. maybe we'll be dead by then Registered User regular
    edited October 2007
    How do you know he doesn't spend the days out of the room too but he just happens to get home before you and leave after you

    Ubik on
    l8e1peic77w3.jpg

  • Options
    Filler Inc.Filler Inc. Registered User regular
    edited October 2007
    My roommates leave shit all over the fucking apartment and make me clean it up.

    They fucking watch tv till the wee hours and are on the fucking internet all the fucking time.

    One plays his guitar too fucking loudly and wont tone it down.

    Filler Inc. on
  • Options
    GreenGreen Stick around. I'm full of bad ideas.Registered User regular
    edited October 2007
    Isolate his half of the room and only open it once he has degenerated into a primal state and is living off his own waste

    Green on
  • Options
    RankenphileRankenphile Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood.Registered User, Moderator mod
    edited October 2007
    jimninja wrote: »
    jimninja wrote: »
    hey guys I really wanna punch this guy in the face because holy shit check out how awesome I am

    hello internet

    are you there

    I need some validation on my choosing to do this

    which is why I turned to the internet to make this decision for me and to brag about how awesome I am rather than actually taking action for myself



    is this thing on?

    :( Goddammit don't you turn against me this is the critical stage in the formation of my thread

    But seriously, what should I do? It's entirely possible that he would do petty shit like breaking my stuff if I hurt his tender little feelings, but something has to change.

    how about you man up and talk to him about your differences instead of turning to the internet and crying about petty bullshit like we're here to wipe your ass

    Okay on my way right now, back in a few

    oh this should be good


    "the internet says I'm right."

    "dude, what?"

    "Please turn down your music, I mean."

    "Whatever, n*g. All you had to do was ask."

    "N... no fuck you I'M THE BOSS HERE DON'T YOU OH *sobbing*"

    Rankenphile on
    8406wWN.png
  • Options
    SuaveSuave __BANNED USERS regular
    edited October 2007
    let him listen to music loudly, i get pissed when people tell me to turn down my music
    it's like, i'm listening to music, this is the closest thing i have to heaven, so why do you have to be such a buzz kill

    and now im going to bed, goodnight everyone. let's hope for a better tomorrow

    Suave on
    love is the only way
  • Options
    jimninjajimninja Registered User regular
    edited October 2007
    Motherfuck refuses to talk

    "it's one thirty and I'm tired"

    jimninja on
    0198ec55.jpg
  • Options
    GoatmonGoatmon Companion of Kess Registered User regular
    edited October 2007
    He sounds like me, when my sister and her kids had to move back in with me and mom for a while. I was used to not having to put up with other people other than mom (Who's pretty laid back, except when I get loud) and it obnoxious as shit. She and I were always getting in each others way and we both kept thinking the other hated us, and it made things even worse.

    We eventually came to an agreement about things, and it's been pretty mellow since, and I feel that I've become a better person as a result.

    So, I guess all I can say is, put put with his shit within reason, but make sure he understands that his shit is not okay just because it's how he likes to do things. A big way of waking him out of his stupor would be, for example; try turning on the TV when he's trying to sleep, and letting him see how he likes it. Then, if he's not a complete retard he might be a little more sympathetic about it.

    Some people just have a difficult time fathoming that they're being obnoxious even if they're not trying to be; From the facebook bit you found, it sounds like that's the problem. It may just be a matter of making him more aware of what he's doing, which can really improve the situation. Lots of luck getting that message through. >_>

    Goatmon on
    Switch Friend Code: SW-6680-6709-4204


  • Options
    JavenJaven Registered User regular
    edited October 2007
    God you are just such a big anus

    Javen on
  • Options
    jimninjajimninja Registered User regular
    edited October 2007
    oh this should be good


    "the internet says I'm right."

    "dude, what?"

    "Please turn down your music, I mean."

    "Whatever, n*g. All you had to do was ask."

    "N... no fuck you I'M THE BOSS HERE DON'T YOU OH *sobbing*"

    Aw, man I wish the music was the only issue here.

    jimninja on
    0198ec55.jpg
  • Options
    potatoepotatoe Registered User regular
    edited October 2007
    so it's dumb when he posts about you on facebook

    but it's awesome when you post about him here

    i like it

    potatoe on
  • Options
    FizFiz Registered User regular
    edited October 2007
    jimninja wrote: »
    Motherfuck refuses to talk

    "it's one thirty and I'm tired"

    You woke him up at 1:30 in the morning to have a talk about HIM being inconsiderate?

    Fiz on
    juggcat.jpg
  • Options
    UbikUbik oh pete, that's later. maybe we'll be dead by then Registered User regular
    edited October 2007
    Put the dirty dishes in the shower, then he'll have to do them.

    Ubik on
    l8e1peic77w3.jpg

  • Options
    HorseshoeHorseshoe Registered User regular
    edited October 2007
    jim.

    have you learned nothing?

    the answer is: lightsaber duel.

    also, go back to ODaM and post.

    Horseshoe on
    dmsigsmallek3.jpg
  • Options
    Filler Inc.Filler Inc. Registered User regular
    edited October 2007
    potatoe wrote: »
    so it's dumb when he posts about you on facebook

    but it's awesome when you post about him here

    i like it


    No, it's dumb when he privately messages someone on facebook.

    Its awesome out here in the open.

    Filler Inc. on
  • Options
    jimninjajimninja Registered User regular
    edited October 2007
    Fiz wrote: »
    jimninja wrote: »
    Motherfuck refuses to talk

    "it's one thirty and I'm tired"

    You woke him up at 1:30 in the morning to have a talk about HIM being inconsiderate?

    He's up, he just got back from god knows where. "thirsty Thursday", I imagine.

    jimninja on
    0198ec55.jpg
  • Options
    UbikUbik oh pete, that's later. maybe we'll be dead by then Registered User regular
    edited October 2007
    Separate your sides of the room with masking tape

    Ubik on
    l8e1peic77w3.jpg

Sign In or Register to comment.