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Moral dillema (weird)
asparagus
Registered User regular
Registered User regular
Sooo. I found a girl who is incredible, attractive, great to be around, just a stunning person. She is a bit between things having just left a relationship, but I have no trouble seducing her really.
The problem is that a gay man loves me, and is freaking out over the thing, and offered me $10,000 not to date.
Should I pursue the girl, or take the money?
I owe a large student loan that is in default, somewhere around 9k, so I could be debt free, though so ronery.
Now, this gay man doesn't want me for sex or anything, he just fell in love with me, and likes my company, and the prospect of myself dating is apparently appalling to him.
Any input is appreciated.
The problem is that a gay man loves me, and is freaking out over the thing, and offered me $10,000 not to date.
Should I pursue the girl, or take the money?
I owe a large student loan that is in default, somewhere around 9k, so I could be debt free, though so ronery.
Now, this gay man doesn't want me for sex or anything, he just fell in love with me, and likes my company, and the prospect of myself dating is apparently appalling to him.
Any input is appreciated.
asparagus on
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Go for the girl, and get the guy some help. Offering you $10,000 so he can continue to pretend that you're his boyfriend is not healthy, and accepting the money will only make things get progressively weirder.
Truth be told I don't think I believe this topic for a number of reasons, if it's true, then you shouldn't believe him, most of the population can't spare 10,000 dollars in one go, especially for that
Statistically speaking though you'd probably date her for a year or two then break up anyways. Soooo...hmm
But seriously, the absolute right thing to do is explain to the guy that you're not gay and his love has zero chance of being reciprocated in the way that he ultimately wants, and that it's absolutely wrong of him to even try to buy your company. Of course this would involve turning down 10k. But if it's just your company he wants, what if you start hanging out with friends more or take up a hobby? Dude's got bad issues, that's actually kinda creepy now that I think about it, that's like murder you in a jealous rage in your sleep creepy
It's really the healthiest thing you could do.
This can not end well. Avoid him completely.
He isnt moneybags rich, but has probably 50k or so just sitting around, and has no social life or friends.
I am just not sure what to do, because I have no real goals in life. I like this girl a lot, but almost every relationship ive had turns to crap. The money would be nice, having no debt and no longer having to worry about myself in several years as the defaulted interest rises.
Though, I am so ronery, has been over a year and I like girls a tremendous amount. I am not a gargoyle or anything, but I have issues trying to find them.
The end.
1. Money -> Restraining Order -> Live in fear from a stalker for awhile
2. Seduce girl -> Sex from girl -> Restraining Order from gay guy still
The gay guy sounds nuts.
This guy is creepy. Seriously. You hear about stories like this on the news when they show the victims dead body. Personally in this situation I would be worried what would happen if I turned down his 10k considering you have already accepted gifts from him in the past.
Eventually you are going to have to stop accepting gifts from this guy. The longer this goes on the more unhealthy it will become and the more he will think you are bound to him.
Man, I would just go for the girl. Money is not everything. You never know, this could be your future wife. Most likely not but it is better dating her than oweing a gay man your soul. (and eventually body. muahahahahahaha. yeah.)
From this position, he seems to have a lot of emotional instability and needs to be helped. It's alluring to take the 10k - it might even be the best move for your life at the moment - but I think the morally right thing to do is to not do it. Take into consideration what could happen afterwards, and it just doesn't seem like a bright move.
Not to mention that you're living with the guy.
Seriously, this whole thing is really messed up. Not just the current problem you have, but the whole thing with him giving you new computers and paying your tuition and all that. This guy has issues, and you're stringing him along. This WILL come back to bite you eventually, and probably sooner than later. Especially if this guy is willing to pay you ten grand not to date someone else.
Don't take his money, and don't take ANY more gifts from this guy - tuition, gadgets, whatever - you need to stop letting this guy pay for your stuff. You're assuming that he expects nothing in return, but remember the old saying: "There is no free lunch." He expects something, you just don't know what it is yet. Ideally, you should work on paying him back what he's already given you and find another place to live, but at the very LEAST, stop taking any more money from this person. If you keep this up, it isn't going to end well for either of you.
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A) Don't encourage this guy. His feelings will only end up getting hurt. As others have said, this can only end poorly.
Negotiate a monthly salary with a contract renewable every six months. Weigh that against any girls you meet. I reckon that'd work out decently for everyone.
Seriously, I wouldn't let anyone (who wasn't a really close friend or didn't owe me big time) give me gifts like that, especially if I had no way or motivation to reciprocate anytime soon.
Maybe what you need to do is think about your ethics really
or maybe you just wanted to see what people would say to such a scenario, which im increasingly sure is hypothetical
Seriously. If this is indeed real, which I have a hard time believing, why would any girl want to date you?
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Satans..... hints.....
Sugar daddying is wrong and taking advantage of distorted people.
Like in an Anna Nicole kind of way.
Don't do this.
It is so wrong.
He'll give you $10,000 to not date for how long? And all you have to do is hang out with him?
$10,000.
Unless you don't have a conscience, then take the money.
Tell him that you'll still be his friend even if you date this girl, and that if that's not enough, then he needs to either ask you out, or kick you out of his house, because he is lying to you about the status of your relationship.
That said my advice is to run away from the crazy man as quickly as you can.
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I suppose I should just see where things go with the girl over a few weeks, I talked to him last night, and if ti doesnt work out he is still willing to pay me, he even offered to pay my student loans just to make me less depressed about it.
Up to this point, there has been no exchange of sex or anything like that, a massage here and there, but I am quite skilled in that regard and tend to give them to everyone.
I do feel guilty, and I have explained that I would feel as if I was taking advantage if I took the money, he said it was no big deal, he just wanted me to be happy about my situation.
Thank you for the input, I guess it is a weird place to be in currently, though I am horrible at holding jobs , probably worked four months in my life (22)
Stop it.
STOP IT.
Do not take money from this man, ever, ever, ever. Do not even THINK about letting him pay off your student loans. You should get a job, pay this guy back, and move far, far away from him. It may seem fun now, having someone pay shit off for you, but I can fairly safely say this dude is an emotional TRAIN WRECK and will eventually snap and either 1) try to get sex out of you while you're drunk, 2) start the "but you OWE ME for all the shit I've given you", or 3) Try the ever so popular "if you leave me I'll kill myself! I need you!" bullshit.
Cut your ties, man.
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...did neither of you have anything to do that day?
Go out with that chick. Buy her some Chick-Fil-A and all will be ok.
and practice your massage techniques more, 8 hours warrants you something ;-)
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I am not sure if I can cut and run so to speak, as I recently moved out to the eastern coast, so really dont know anyone. I met this person while I was working my horrible retail job, and after twenty minutes of conversation ( I am quite the conversationalist ) he asked if I wanted to move in.
He is weird, and does sit on furniture staring off into space for hours at a time, but I have known him for almost two years now and he really doesnt have it in him to get all freaky deeky on anyone. Just lead a sheltered life, never made friends or anything.
None at all.
Unless you're a sociopath or a grade-A idiot, you *know* that what you are doing is wrong.
All you're looking for is validation from others so you can tell yourself that it's totally OK to abuse the misplaced affections of a desperate man while simultaneously sabotaging the relationships of others just in case you think you might maybe want to tap that ass. And, disturbingly, some people are giving it to you.
They are wrong to do so.
Stop fucking around with other people's lives. You have 9k in student loans? Get a job and pay them off. You can't find a girlfriend? Stop giving massages to people who want to fuck you (the gay man), or who you want to fuck but can't just yet (the girl), and concentrate on, you know, making yourself the kind of person who doesn't need bribery to either receive or demonstrate affection.
You have no right to be in a relationship when your own moral sense is so far out of whack. What, were you planning on bringing women home to your place to flaunt in front of the poor sap who, for whatever reason, is hopelessly in love with you? No. Not cool. Or were you just going to use his money to pay for hotel rooms and nights out on the town? Just as bad.
Grow up, move out, and realize that the world does not revolve around you. You have no right to fuck over other people just because you're bored, or lonely, or like easy money.
Seriously this is morally reprehensible.