Weird Ass Voice Mails You Can't Explain

Seph

Right so I check my messages I get

"Hey, what's up. This is numba eighty, if you don't know who numba eighty is you a punk. Call me at --- --- ---- that's all you need to know. Hear ya lata forty one ah i mean forty, hahahaha."

The weird thing is they got my name right and it sounds like NO ONE i know

Captain K

So your name is forty, but not forty-one?

Monkeybomb

Give me the number and I'll call it.

autono-wally, erotibot300

I'll call someone and just play portal voice-samples

Wedge Biggs

Seph wrote: »

Right so I check my messages I get

"Hey, what's up. This is numba eighty, if you don't know who numba eighty is you a punk. Call me at --- --- ---- that's all you need to know. Hear ya lata forty one ah i mean forty, hahahaha."

The weird thing is they got my name right and it sounds like NO ONE i know

What are you doing, thirty-nine?

Jimmy

Call back and ask for "69"

Jordyn

On Valentine's Day at one in the morning I got a message all in what I think was Japanese, and it seemed to be two giggling chicks.

AND ONE TIME I GOT A FUCKING RECORDED GUM ADVERTISEMENT IN MY FUCKING VOICEMAIL.

Jordyn

Jimmy wrote: »

Call back and ask for "69"

I don't get it.

Jimmy

Jordyn wrote: »

Jimmy wrote: »

Call back and ask for "69"

I don't get it.

We are going on a fag witch hunt. If he accepts, we burn him at the stake.

Szechuanosaurus

We used to get this Glaswegian lady leaving us messages just assuming we were her daughter all going on about how so and so is a cow and she doesn't ken anything and needs to keep her nose out of our business blah blah blah. Just ranting on for fifteen minutes about all their private family affairs and such. It was pretty hilarious. She did it two or three times at least.


Also one time when I'd only had my mobile for about two months this guy calls one morning asking me to tell his wife that he's not having an affair with me because she'd supposedly found my number on his mobile. Arguing with his wife while I was on the phone 'Just speak to him. You'll see!'.

EclecticGroove

Jordyn wrote: »

On Valentine's Day at one in the morning I got a message all in what I think was Japanese, and it seemed to be two giggling chicks.

AND ONE TIME I GOT A FUCKING RECORDED GUM ADVERTISEMENT IN MY FUCKING VOICEMAIL.

And then you called them back and had some hot lesbian threesome right? hehe.

I've never gotten strange voicemails, but I've had odd as hell phone conversations.

The best was a call when I was a kid where some guy threatened to "make me pay" because I refused to put my mom on the phone when she said she didn't want to pick it up.

Jordyn

hay speh call bak and ask for numbr 420 ha ha ha

The Geek

Szechuanosaurus wrote: »

We used to get this Glaswegian lady leaving us messages just assuming we were her daughter all going on about how so and so is a cow and she doesn't ken anything and needs to keep her nose out of our business blah blah blah. Just ranting on for fifteen minutes about all their private family affairs and such. It was pretty hilarious. She did it two or three times at least.


Also one time when I'd only had my mobile for about two months this guy calls one morning asking me to tell his wife that he's not having an affair with me because she'd supposedly found my number on his mobile. Arguing with his wife while I was on the phone 'Just speak to him. You'll see!'.

Glaswegian?

doesn't "ken" anything?

What?

gazamc

The Geek wrote: »

Szechuanosaurus wrote: »

We used to get this Glaswegian lady leaving us messages just assuming we were her daughter all going on about how so and so is a cow and she doesn't ken anything and needs to keep her nose out of our business blah blah blah. Just ranting on for fifteen minutes about all their private family affairs and such. It was pretty hilarious. She did it two or three times at least.


Also one time when I'd only had my mobile for about two months this guy calls one morning asking me to tell his wife that he's not having an affair with me because she'd supposedly found my number on his mobile. Arguing with his wife while I was on the phone 'Just speak to him. You'll see!'.

Glaswegian?

doesn't "ken" anything?

What?

Glaswegian = Glasgow, Scotland dialect

'Ken' = Know in strong Scottish dialect.

Its a beautiful language.

Szechuanosaurus

The Geek reads The Broons. He knows whats up.

Wedge Biggs

Jimmy wrote: »

Jordyn wrote: »

Jimmy wrote: »

Call back and ask for "69"

I don't get it.

We are going on a fag witch hunt. If he accepts, we burn him at the stake.

Seriously

You should call her!

You'll probably at least score a blowjob out of the deal.

Weaver

I had a voicemail once, no talking, I could hear a male breathing but not heavily, like he just had the phone up to his face but wasn't talking. Then the breathing stops, and a couple of seconds later I hear a lady screaming in pain in the background and then the voicemail cut off.

I deleted it right away and cleared my call history. And this was before they made that cell phone movie where the kidnapped lady calls some random guy.

gazamc

Szechuanosaurus wrote: »

The Geek reads The Broons. He knows whats up.

Its all about Oor Wullie

The Geek

Szechuanosaurus wrote: »

The Geek reads The Broons. He knows whats up.

I can make up words too, y'know.

DrIanMalcolm

http://dev.snakesonaplane.varitalk.com/

Jordyn

Oh one time Weaver left me a voicemail that was about 2 minutes long and he said the same three things about 4 times each.

Weaver

I hate voicemail so much

leaving them or getting them

feels so awkward

so

impersonal

Khavall

I hate phones in general.

Like, I want to talk to you face to face dammit.

Hunter

I always leave voicemail for people when I'm near large industrial equipment while it's running so they can't understand me, then I pretend to be all pissed when they don't do what I ask them.

FortyTwo

My phone broke a couple years ago. I was without for about a little more than 2 weeks.

BEST TWO WEEKS EVER

Wedge Biggs

A couple of years ago I broke a guys phone. I heard he was without one for like two weeks.

Hunter

I threw my cell phone into a hammer mill at work once because I was so pissed at the plant guys calling me about shit they were fucking up. I had to tell the Cingular lady "it fell out of my pocket".

Sheri

At work this dude called me back after I left him a message, and he left me a voicemail cuz I wasn't there, and then I guess he accidently redialed the phone or something because I had another voicemail right after it where it was clearly the same guy and someone else talking about 'Yeah sure, bring me to Disney World!' and then a bunch of other stuff, and it went on for five fucking minutes, and then I hear 'Hello?' *click* and the message ends.

gg dude

FortyTwo

Wedge Biggs wrote: »

A couple of years ago I broke a guys phone. I heard he was without one for like two weeks.

GOD, you're retarded.

Wedge Biggs

FortyTwo wrote: »

Wedge Biggs wrote: »

A couple of years ago I broke a guys phone. I heard he was without one for like two weeks.

GOD, you're retarded.

I love you too.

redimpulse

My work phone, I have to have my full name and position on the VM for whatever reason. Yet still people call me up all hours and leave stupid fucking voicemails.

"You've reached Zack W., (company name) IT. Please leave a message."

"Hey yo Sarah <I'm not Sarah> you need to call Erica and see what she's bringing to Telluride because I think you are bringing the same things and we don't need two of everything, so give her a call and get that shit figured out. Oh and we're gonna meet up at Croc's tonight for a drink if you wanna drag your boyfriend along. Laters"

I'm obviously not a Sarah and obviously not a chick. Why do people leave these messages?

Hunter

Text her back saying you are Sarah and call her a skanky slut.

autono-wally, erotibot300

shut up sarah

Rankenphile

text her back

"this is sarah

brian just raped me

whut do I do"

Hunter

Rankenphile wrote: »

text her back

"this is sarah

brian just raped me

whut do I do"

ORAL: Swallow

VAGINAL: Morning After Pill

ANAL: Take a dump

redimpulse

Unfortunately our BES server won't allow texting or I would've done something to that effect. And they called using Skype or something cause the number came up as 123456789

World as Myth

DrIanMalcolm wrote: »

http://dev.snakesonaplane.varitalk.com/

I did this to like twenty people when it first came out

The Prime

Do any of you guys know people whose voicemail message is something along the lines of, "Hello? Oh hey how's it going? What? I can't hear you, my reception is shitt-BEEP"

So the whole time you're playing along, having a conversation with this person. And when you hear the beep you are sorely disappointed.

I hate those pricks.

lostwords

http://optimus.transformersmovie.com/

Moe Fwacky

My roommate back in 04 got loaded one night and left a few voicemails on the neighbor's phone.
This is one of them. They all ran on pretty much the same theme

edit: don't listen to this at work, or around small children