How can I not be a nice guy?

bigpanda

OK, so I'm completely wiped from the last month, so excuse me if I'm rambling a bit.

Work situation: Boss is let go about a month ago, no real immediate plan for a replacement other than "we're looking". Actually, that's not entirely true, they're interviewing next week, but I'm pissed that they let the boss go without any plan to keep things running in the interim. I'm about 2-3 pay scales lower than what the boss was making and have been trying to hold shit together while they find somebody to take the position that's left gaping. I already made it clear that I didn't want that kind of responsibility for any kind of sane money as I a) don't have the qualifications, b) don't want the stress, c) don't want that level of responsibility at this time (I like being able to sleep at night which hasn't been happening, but I digress). To compound things, we were already short staffed, so I was doing the job of 2 people before, and am now doing the job of 4. So basically, for the last month now, I've been working 80 hours a week, 7 days straight (last day off was 9/16) and have been going to class 3 days a week too on top of all this. I've talked with the boss's boss and was told that I'm in line for a raise and a bonus for stepping up, but no firm amount was committed and nothing written at all (all verbal).

So far I've been completely unable to just tell the company to go take a flying leap and quit. I've got bills up the wazoo right now and not enough money to survive in the interim if I did quit or do something stupid like getting fired. I've got the cash to pay back the relocation money that they gave me upon making the move to where I'm at now; but am obligated to pay it back if I leave before my 1 year and half of it back before my 2 year anniversaries with this particular office (one year is coming up in less than 1 month).

In general, my quality of life right now is pretty bad. I'm miserable all the time, constantly frustrated and have already had a couple anxiety attacks due to all the stress. I'm eating horribly too, as I turn to junk food when I get stressed which makes for feeling like complete crap (that's not work's problem, but a personal thing that I have to overcome). Money itself is pretty tight right now. I could make some sacrifices to free up some cash like selling my car and canceling cable so it's not like I'm down and out (only reason I haven't canceled cable yet is because I keep hoping I'll have time to watch some basketball in a couple weeks).

See, I'm starting to ramble now. Bottom line, is how can I stop being scared of quitting/getting fired for asking for compensation, and how can I start being a bigger dick to other people and not care. I've been a nice guy all my life and it just seems like it keeps getting me the short end of the stick.

Fuzzy Cumulonimbus Cloud

Wait, stop!
Being a nice guy and being a passive guy are two different things.
You can respect your fellow human beings and not let them walk all over you at the same time.
Be assertive with your wishes.
That doesn't mean go in screaming, because that can happen when you switch from passive to assertive.
Try calmly voicing your opinion and concerns.

Black Ice

We all have times in our lives when we're stressed. It is a true measurement of someone's character to be able to say they've gone through it and come out not a worse person but a better person. Are you sure that being a dick is the right thing to do? It may actually turn on you. (I feel like I'm writing a Dr. Seuss book..)

If you're mean to to other people, the already-shitty atmosphere of the work environment around you may turn into a shithole of epic proportions. It is in fact possible that being nice is making it less hard on you than it could be. Are your peers being bad to you? I don't see any indication in your post that that is happening. It's hard to be a nice guy, but it could become harder to end up having people turn on you or be rude to you for not being nice to them.

All of that stuff aside.. that is a seriously fucked up work schedule you have there. Are you getting paid for doing 4 peoples' work, or are you getting paid for 1? If it is the latter, have you told your old boss' boss? That's (practically?) a sweatshop.

tbloxham

Get something down in writing. Go and speak to the guy in charge and say "as per our conversation earlier, I'm glad to help out in this difficult time for the department, however we'll need to put down some numbers as to what you would like from me during this transition as I will need to prioritize things."

Get things clarified, then you wont end up just working forever for an anonymous reward.

Romantic Undead

The thing to try and remember is that the people who you work for, and who your boss worked for, are people too. I like to think that they're not unreasonable people, and are able to listen and understand when spoken to.

The reason I say that is because people in situations like yours need to understand that expressing your concerns about your job and your life does not make you an asshole. It's perfectly all right to go up to a superior and say "hi, I love my job, I'm glad I can help, but this is too much." People will understand as long as you don't pop a gasket at them.

If they understand that this shit is affecting your health they will try and find a way to work with you and fix things. I like to believe that not ALL people in positions of power are assholes.

But they, that's just me.

bigpanda

I think Fuzz nailed it. I'm way to passive. It's a pattern that I've noticed over the last few years and absolutely hate. I tend to take what's given rather than asking for what I want.

The whole thing is that I like being a nice guy. I like that people like me, and have always liked helping people. What I hate is that I feel like I'm being taken advantage of right now. I keep thinking of that Seinfeld episode where Peterman comes back and says, "Congratulations Elaine on a job... done."

Also, I'm only getting paid for the 1 job, unfortunately it's the lowest paying job that I'm doing. A bit of background I guess. Right now I'm doing the job of a level 2 tech support, system administrator, IT director and facility/site manager. I'm getting paid for the job of a level 2 tech support guy. I've never received a bad review from any of my bosses. Ever. I've always gone above and beyond the call of duty (which again is what I'm doing) regardless of my job.

I saw the boss's boss tonight as I was working to resolve an issue with the wireless service at a location that we're using for an event (see this is what irritates me about myself. I'm on the phone with the sites tech support trying to get this resolved so our people don't suffer which to me seems like the site people should be doing.) and he alluded to additional vacation time which doesn't really do me any good because i haven't been able to take any vacation this year since we're short staffed and have 3 weeks left to use before the end of the year which I don't see happening with the deadlines we have on departmental projects.

Ok, now I think I'm just whining. This is the part where I wish I could just sack up and quit or shut up and deal with it like a man.

tbloxham

You need to be clear with what you want, you can't continue under these cicrumstances however you are involved in the company and want to do the best you can for it. If the boss wont clarify things for you, even in terms of expectations then you will need to start thinking about other options. If he really wants you filling four roles at once, then get him to be clear that that is what he wants.