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Filthy lies your lying father told you
lostwords
Registered User regular
Registered User regular
So when I was a little one, I always wondered how roads were made. Who better to ask than my dad, who, at that age, was all-knowing to me? So I ask him, and he tells me that roads are made when people plant chunks of asphalt and rocks on the ground, water them every morning, and soon roads would sprout up. Being the trusting sort, I believed him. I spent the better part of an afternoon with a hammer banging on the road to get some good sized chunks, then burying the pieces in a deep hole in our backyard. For the next week or so, I spent every morning pouring water on it, and waking up disappointed that there was no road in my backyard. My mom saw me doing this after a week, and asked what I was doing, so I told her what dad said and that I wanted a road in our backyard leading to the toy store or something. She called my dad at work, and started yelling at him for filling my mind with filthy lies, and I could hear him laughing through the phone speaker. What an asshat.
So what lies did your parents tell your gullible child minds? And what lies will you be telling any future or present kids you will have?
So what lies did your parents tell your gullible child minds? And what lies will you be telling any future or present kids you will have?
lostwords on
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You probably haven't grown up enough to realise they're lies yet,
Oh, I have a few more random dad stories. I think I've told the one about trust before, but yeah, I'll repeat a short summary:
My sis and me were playing in a tree house, and we get tired, so I jump down. My sister, who is two years younger, gets scared of jumping down and refuses and starts bawling and crying. So I start yelling at her. My dad, who was just chilling on the porch with a beer, mossies on over to see whats going on and gets a handle on the situation. So he starts talking to my sister in a soothing tone, telling her to jump down and he'd catch her. "Trust me," he said. Finally, she stops crying and starts gathering up the nerve to jump. Looking over to make sure my dad is right under her, she jumps.
My dad takes a step back and lets her fall on her ass. She starts crying again. "That'll teach you to trust people," he says with a chuckle as he walks back to get another beer. The end.
Who the fuck doesn't have issues with there folks of some sort? I mean mine are/were great but still pissed me off a lot.
Don't i wish. Calvin's dad was pretty awesome though, especially the whole explanation for the sunsets and sunrises.
A buffarilla is, of course, the cross breed between a buffalo and a gorilla
The actual reason of the fence is to keep the high deer population from running onto the road
daddy problems implied something more severe than "man, my dad can be a dick sometimes but he was still a great father and I love him"
I would happily tell my child that sausages are children who didn't behave
or even better, that they used to have a brother, but he talked back. I think the trick there would be to have a fake grave or urn somewhere to really sell the lie
his colour and black and white pictures explanation was genius.
My mom doesn't really get me, but we find ways to relate. Otherwise, my parents were flawed and normal and human.
A panel from one of the webcomics on here:
http://www.alessonislearned.com/
Wish the dude would get back to workin on it.
what a dick
ended up with my favorite scar, so I guess all in all he WAS being a good dad
hilarious
hahaha, yessss.
Color didn't exist back then, obviously.
Man, now I want to bust out my Complete Calvin and Hobbes and start reading from the beginning.
Man the only book I am missing is the days are packed!
Don't you fucking dare.
we had a dairy queen just up the street from us, so this happened to us a lot
hobbsdies.jpg
this place wasn't really far from us but we rarely went that way so we always got ice cream when we were there
so it hurt
but we laughed because hahaha dad said "shit"
This is the saddest because its the last one
The other one DOES NOT EXIST. Hobbes is immortal, dammit.
Right-o