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Parents, and the dumb shit they like to say.

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    Munkus BeaverMunkus Beaver You don't have to attend every argument you are invited to. Philosophy: Stoicism. Politics: Democratic SocialistRegistered User, ClubPA regular
    edited October 2007
    It's the small things.

    Munkus Beaver on
    Humor can be dissected as a frog can, but dies in the process.
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    DislexicDislexic Creepy Uncle Bad Touch Your local playgroundRegistered User regular
    edited October 2007
    Me: What do you mean?
    Mom: Just what I said.

    AARRRRRRGGGH, JESUS CHRIST I'M ASKING FOR CLARIFICATION, YOU STUPID BITCH.

    Dislexic on
    batsig.jpg
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    TankHammerTankHammer Atlanta Ghostbuster Atlanta, GARegistered User regular
    edited October 2007
    Last night there was a story about a gun-scare in a local high school. My father was reading it. He started in on one of those kind of rants you only hear people that listen to conservative talk-radio stations say. You can usually tell just by the tone of voice a person uses.

    Anyway I forget what he was trying to get across exactly besides how "things didn't used to be like this, things were different before..." et cetera.

    I decide to humor his argument, suggesting "Yeah, well you know most of these kids bring guns from home. Either their parents' gun or one that was bought for them for 'hunting' by their family. That's what most school shootings seem to have in common."

    His reply? "No, no that's not how it happens. It never happens that way. They buy them on the street corners from the Black Market. (emphasized for the stresses he put on certain words)

    "Uh no. You can look it up, all the major school shootings were perpetrated by white teenagers who used their parents' guns or their own legally-bought-for-them firearms," I reply, stunned.

    "He's right [dad's name]," My mom chimed in. "That's how all the ones I remember happened."

    Dad: "Yeah well anyway [another subject]..."


    EDIT: Oh and my father is NOT a racist. Not one bit. No sirree. Neither is my mother who constantly asked if the white-trash girl in 6th grade that used to try and embarass me by spreading rumors was black. There was a total of 2 black girls in my grade and their names were Najuma and Shaquita. White trash girl's name was "Stevie" (Stephanie). I told her at least a dozen times that no, she was white but it was like my mother didn't accept the answer so she'd wait to ask again and again until I finally admitted that I had been lying and she was black all-along because there's no such thing as a big, butch white girl with a gutter-mouth.

    It's the subtleness of it all that gets me, like they don't normally act in any way that'd make you suspect and then it pops out casually like they don't even notice. It's eerie in a way. But dispite their occasional ignorance (only in private) they manage to be pretty great people in general and have yet to say anything questionable in public.

    TankHammer on
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    OdenOden Registered User regular
    edited October 2007
    I would make a good engineer for my problem solving skills

    Then I get to the maths part then hurrrrrgurrble

    Time to draw pretty pictures and write interesting things

    Oden on
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    The GeekThe Geek Oh-Two Crew, Omeganaut Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited October 2007
    Keith wrote: »
    737181356x237pz7.jpg

    I said, "Mom, this shirt is plaid with a butterfly collar."

    The Geek on
    BLM - ACAB
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    Anime OwnsAnime Owns Registered User regular
    edited October 2007
    plot state 1-4 of the piston-cylinder cycle on a T-s diagram and then spend hours doing the same entropy problem over and over until you die or drop the class

    Anime Owns on
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    Skull ManSkull Man RIP KUSU Registered User regular
    edited October 2007
    how is everyone

    Skull Man on
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    ZephyrZephyr Registered User regular
    edited October 2007
    i saw that tfs

    Zephyr on
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    potatoepotatoe Registered User regular
    edited October 2007
    sometimes my mom is all "do your chores!"
    and i'm all "fuck that, bitch, i ain't doing shit for you"
    and my dad is all like "don't talk to your mother like that"
    and then it's all
    20060803-1.gif

    potatoe on
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    VivixenneVivixenne Remember your training, and we'll get through this just fine. Registered User regular
    edited October 2007
    Finished that other poast about Chinese people at special request, it's in the spoiler: http://forums.penny-arcade.com/showthread.php?p=3388977#post3388977

    Vivixenne on
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    [Deleted User][Deleted User] new member
    edited October 2007
    The user and all related content has been deleted.

    [Deleted User] on
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    Anime OwnsAnime Owns Registered User regular
    edited October 2007
    shit son is dat some text

    Anime Owns on
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    VivixenneVivixenne Remember your training, and we'll get through this just fine. Registered User regular
    edited October 2007
    IT IS EDUCATIONAL AND WILL MAKE YOU A BETTER PERSON OK

    Vivixenne on
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    Skull ManSkull Man RIP KUSU Registered User regular
    edited October 2007
    ugh all of a sudden I feel terrible

    can't get sick

    tuesday is so busy

    Skull Man on
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    Zombies Tossed My Salad!Zombies Tossed My Salad! Registered User regular
    edited October 2007
    My mom is technologically retarded she asks me to help her fix her laptop all the time.

    One day, she is writing a report and she has to do some thing to it, and I say "just copy and paste it over"

    her response: "I don't know how to do that"

    She's the head of the god damned english department and she can't even copy and paste

    Zombies Tossed My Salad! on
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    Skull ManSkull Man RIP KUSU Registered User regular
    edited October 2007
    My mom is technologically retarded she asks me to help her fix her laptop all the time.

    One day, she is writing a report and she has to do some thing to it, and I say "just copy and paste it over"

    her response: "I don't know how to do that"

    She's the head of the god damned english department and she can't even copy and paste

    I bet she knows "something" is one word, though

    Skull Man on
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    potatoepotatoe Registered User regular
    edited October 2007
    oh shit son

    potatoe on
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    OrikaeshigitaeOrikaeshigitae Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited October 2007
    I READ ALL THAT TEXT AND I"M GLAD I DID

    Orikaeshigitae on
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    VivixenneVivixenne Remember your training, and we'll get through this just fine. Registered User regular
    edited October 2007
    Koshian wrote: »
    Vivixenne wrote: »
    Finished that other poast about Chinese people at special request, it's in the spoiler: http://forums.penny-arcade.com/showthread.php?p=3388977#post3388977

    that sounds like something my mom would say

    but halfway through she would go off on a tangent about how japan is evil and they deserve to be bombed more

    well to clarify

    I don't really say it to make China look cool or whatever

    just explaining how it is, is all

    Vivixenne on
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    Anime OwnsAnime Owns Registered User regular
    edited October 2007
    I actually did read it because I'm in ~*engineering*~

    edit it needs a thesis statement tbqh

    Anime Owns on
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    [Deleted User][Deleted User] new member
    edited October 2007
    The user and all related content has been deleted.

    [Deleted User] on
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    VivixenneVivixenne Remember your training, and we'll get through this just fine. Registered User regular
    edited October 2007
    I READ ALL THAT TEXT AND I"M GLAD I DID

    WAS IT INTERESTING

    MAN IT'S SO INTERESTING

    Vivixenne on
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    potatoepotatoe Registered User regular
    edited October 2007
    actually, tfs, you are confusing engineers with computer science people

    engineers tend to have a greater grasp on what it means to socialize, and that it involves being presentable

    potatoe on
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    StrayDogStrayDog Registered User regular
    edited October 2007
    Does anyone remember the old Cocoa Crispies commercials? Someone tries to steal the cereal from the monkey, and he foils their plans and sings a little jingle "Everybody wants my Cocoa Crispies!"

    Anyways, when I was 9, I was eating some Cocoa Crispies and I sang the little jingle. My mom hears me and goes "They're not just yours asshole!!!" and lectures me for 30 minutes on how everything in the house is hers.

    Recently, she's been trying to convince me and my step-brother to not move from our apartment into a rented house because she doesn't think we can handle the $50 increase in the water bill we'll be facing. Honestly, I just think it's cause our landlady is Korean and my mom can be pretty racist. But she lives in Tennessee and I'm in California, so haha.

    For as long as I can remember, when she gets angry with me, she calls me a son of a bitch. I have never pointed this out to her. My real dad and my step-dad have the patience of saints.

    StrayDog on
    Let me go down in the mud, where the rivers all run dry.
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    Skull ManSkull Man RIP KUSU Registered User regular
    edited October 2007
    to be fair tfs is confused about a lot

    Skull Man on
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    Anime OwnsAnime Owns Registered User regular
    edited October 2007
    Gym wrote: »
    I actually did read it because I'm in ~*engineering*~
    how thick is your neck-beard

    imagine me saying neck-beard with a Orson Welles pronunciation

    Neckbeard

    you remember that kid who was talking about 4kids

    there is a dude exactly like him in my thermo class

    he even has the cargo shorts/camp shirt combo nearly every day
    this should give you a rough idea of what many engineers are like

    Anime Owns on
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    satansfingerssatansfingers Registered User regular
    edited October 2007
    it has been my experience that engineers know how to party

    satansfingers on
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    [Deleted User][Deleted User] new member
    edited October 2007
    The user and all related content has been deleted.

    [Deleted User] on
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    VivixenneVivixenne Remember your training, and we'll get through this just fine. Registered User regular
    edited October 2007
    not all engineers are socially retarded

    computer, electrical engineers

    computer science (it's a kind of engineering, really, it's just you're working with software)

    yeah they can be a bit closeted

    but mechanical/industrial/civil/etc have to actually interact with humans and most of them don't know this until they have to start working

    then they're like SHIT

    Vivixenne on
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    OmegaTofuNinjaOmegaTofuNinja Registered User regular
    edited October 2007
    "I don't care if you like me but you sure as hell WILL respect me."

    Uh no I won't. Also trying to blame the fact that he and his wife are heading towards divorce because of "shit I do".

    By that he means my room isn't perfectly clean on a daily basis.

    OmegaTofuNinja on
    Facebook Wii: 7912 0299 8667 6601 I tweet sometimes Poetry?!
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    Milquetoast ThugMilquetoast Thug Registered User regular
    edited October 2007
    StrayDog wrote: »
    Does anyone remember the old Cocoa Crispies commercials? Someone tries to steal the cereal from the monkey, and he foils their plans and sings a little jingle "Everybody wants my Cocoa Crispies!"

    Anyways, when I was 9, I was eating some Cocoa Crispies and I sang the little jingle. My mom hears me and goes "They're not just yours asshole!!!" and lectures me for 30 minutes on how everything in the house is hers.

    Recently, she's been trying to convince me and my step-brother to not move from our apartment into a rented house because she doesn't think we can handle the $50 increase in the water bill we'll be facing. Honestly, I just think it's cause our landlady is Korean and my mom can be pretty racist. But she lives in Tennessee and I'm in California, so haha.

    For as long as I can remember, when she gets angry with me, she calls me a son of a bitch. I have never pointed this out to her. My real dad and my step-dad have the patience of saints.

    This just reminds me of that one dude on the Red Socks who is literally named Coco Crisp

    What a hilarious name to have

    Milquetoast Thug on
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    Cosmic SombreroCosmic Sombrero Registered User regular
    edited October 2007
    Most of the stuff my dad says would get me into trouble, but here's my Grandma.

    "Yeah, I saw that Ray movie. I guess it was alright, if you're into black people and their music and their drugs."

    Cosmic Sombrero on
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    RankenphileRankenphile Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood.Registered User, Moderator Mod Emeritus
    edited October 2007
    "Don't worry, son. Sperm builds strong bones. It's like man-milk."

    Rankenphile on
    8406wWN.png
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    RankenphileRankenphile Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood.Registered User, Moderator Mod Emeritus
    edited October 2007
    Most of the stuff my dad says would get me into trouble, but here's my Grandma.

    "Yeah, I saw that Ray movie. I guess it was alright, if you're into black people and their music and their drugs."

    to be fair, that's pretty much what that movie was about.

    Rankenphile on
    8406wWN.png
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    Blake TBlake T Do you have enemies then? Good. That means you’ve stood up for something, sometime in your life.Registered User regular
    edited October 2007
    Vivixenne wrote: »

    but mechanical/industrial/civil/etc have to actually interact with humans and most of them don't know this until they have to start working

    then they're like SHIT

    This is why my old man stuck me on building sites as I did my degree.

    I would get into arguements with my lecturers about their solutions are efficent and impractical, whereas my solutions were practical and inefficent and the people on site don't hate me so my design in better.

    It didn't help my grade but it helped me once I graduated.

    Blake T on
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    TrillianTrillian Registered User regular
    edited October 2007
    My mother is batshit insane. I don't even want to go into all she does and says.
    My jaw still hurts sometimes from when she dislocated it last thursday.

    Trillian on

    They cast a shadow like a sundial in the morning light. It was half past 10.
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    VivixenneVivixenne Remember your training, and we'll get through this just fine. Registered User regular
    edited October 2007
    Koshian wrote: »
    Vivixenne wrote: »
    Koshian wrote: »
    Vivixenne wrote: »
    Finished that other poast about Chinese people at special request, it's in the spoiler: http://forums.penny-arcade.com/showthread.php?p=3388977#post3388977

    that sounds like something my mom would say

    but halfway through she would go off on a tangent about how japan is evil and they deserve to be bombed more

    well to clarify

    I don't really say it to make China look cool or whatever

    just explaining how it is, is all

    oh no, she's pretty concerned about the lack of creative thought and initiative in china

    but she just likes to think that other asian countries are worse off

    ethnic pride, I guess

    actually if you wanna know where creative thought is the worst

    go to Singapore

    initiative is there, but there is a severe lack of out-of-the-box thinking in that cesspool of tunnel vision

    Vivixenne on
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    SuperMosesSuperMoses Registered User regular
    edited October 2007
    Whenever my dad hears bad news, he sarcastically says "Oh, that's all George Bush's fault!" like by saying it over and over it makes the things that really are his fault not matter.

    Will you still need me, feed me, et cetera though, huh guys? HUH GUYS? HUHRRGLLULGG?

    SuperMoses on
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    potatoepotatoe Registered User regular
    edited October 2007
    all CS students here are required to take a public speaking course
    and it is so easy to tell which ones are the CS guys

    they do their presentations on the most technologically boring shit. okay, i understand that they are CS people and enjoy technology, but you have to cater to your audience...and half the class was hospitality and tourism chicks, you aren't getting anywhere by explaining efficient torrenting methods.

    they also stutter. a lot.
    stumbling over words every time they have to make eye contact. frantically adjusting the bottom of their shirt in an attempt to keep their mind off the audience.

    i always felt a bit sorry for them.

    potatoe on
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    VivixenneVivixenne Remember your training, and we'll get through this just fine. Registered User regular
    edited October 2007
    Engineers with stellar social skills will almost always make the best managers and bosses.

    creative problem solving + solution-oriented thinking + communication/people skills + leadership training = 90% chance of coming out a winner

    they are just SO RARE, is the problem, because engineering schools tend not to put a lot of focus on being able to communicate properly, whereas business schools emphasize that shit out the ass because really outside of accounting and finance, there ain't a lot to learn that can be learned without actually working and getting the experience

    (can you guess what degree I have)

    Vivixenne on
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