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"All Boys Are Icky!" (Girl)

SoonerManSoonerMan Registered User regular
edited November 2007 in Help / Advice Forum
So there's this girl.. she is a really cool girl. She's active, funny, smart, the only flaw I've found is she's a pretty big Republican (thats a joke.) Only problem is... she has had a really bad experience with guys.

I'm in college, she's about 45 minutes away in high school. We met at a leadership camp a few years back. I was a would-be counselor type person and she was a camper. Unfortunately I had a little crush on her, and her me when we met. I say unfortunately because I was, at the time, with my ex. Now, I'm sure most of you that have followed my bitchings will recall the ex. Well, hopefully this will had some sort of dynamic to it all.

At this point, I see the ex as a friend even though she has declared to never speak or have anything to do with me ever again. That's perfectly again, because I saw the way she treated me was not what I deserved to be treated as. However, if she ever wants to grow up and talk to me I'll be here for her. I know it may be hard to believe that I have moved on so quickly, but all I want from her is friendship because she was really someone I could talk to. I see that most of our relationship was sexual acts which kinda pisses me off at this point because that just wasn't good for either us. Do I miss her? Of course. I will for a while. A lot of things remind me of her, but I just can't bring myself to say I want to be with her again. (Hooray, I suppose.)

So let me continue. Girl from camp (Alyssa) and me keep in touch and text each other for a few weeks after camp. I even mention to my best friend that she, Alyssa, was well... my current girlfriend but... better it seemed. Eventually we lost contact with each other and my life went on. Well the next summer at the same camp, I was a counselor and having a good time. I had been talking to Alyce (now ex girlfriend) while I was at the camp and realized, "Wow. She's a nice girl, but overall just boring for me." I decided at that point and some way I needed to end it but was overly and thoroughly confused. I come home from the camp and check facebook, having not thought of this girl for... man, I dunno how long. A year, I guess. Alas, look who's added me as a friend--- Alyssa.

Something as simple as that made me feel compelled to end it with my girlfriend. Well, unfortunately I dodged the issue with her for some time simply because we were going on a school-trip (school was out, but nevertheless I as a graduate were still going) and her mom was the main chaperone. I didn't want her mom to be pissed at me for having done that and there be awkwardness. Well I think it made it all worse and I ended it soon after.

Girl and I keep talking, things are going well. She seems to be a sucker for the jock-type (arrogant and flashy it seems) and not looking for anything serious. I can deal with that. Somewhere in all of this I felt lovesick for my ex and you've seen the threads from that. No bueno.

I don't feel that Alyssa is the rebound girl by any means (but keep in mind I wouldn't necessarily know because Alyce was my first girlfriend (confused yet?)) but I want to try to move things along in our relationship. I come to you for advice because she can't really trust guys easily anymore because she's been screwed over so much. I can empathize and try to reassure her through texts and talking that I won't hurt her.

We're going to go hang out at some point soon and enjoy one another's company. How do I go about showing her that I'm not just going to stomp on her heart as other guys have? She thought I was after a piece of ass, but I shot that down quickly telling her it was her personality I liked that happened to go with a cute girl. She liked that and complimented I was sweet. I don't want to move too quickly (I've done that pletny) and I don't want to move too slow (also done plenty.) So how do I do this? She's willing to trust, but how do I get her to see that I truly am legit and not hurt her?

I added all of the bit about my ex because I kind of thought it was relevant considering that this is the girl that convinced me to break up with my ex who I get really lovesick for and whined to you guys for so long about. Does this have any influence on how I should or should NOT act?

I know this is all confusing and I apologize for that, but I dunno if its a good idea to move along at this point.

TL;DR

Alyce - ex girlfriend

Alyssa - new girl

Dating Alyce when I met Alyssa. Crush on Alyssa, forgotten about for a year. Decide to break up with Alyce for many reasons including that fact that I came back into contact with Alyssa who I really felt attracted to. Bullshitted about it for a while and finally did it.

Waited a bit, lived it up being single and decided to go for Alyssa. I got heartsick for Alyce, bitched about it to you guys and now I'm ok with a lot of it and slowly but surely healing. Alas! Alyssa is hesitant to trust guys because of past assholes who have messed that up for her. How do I ease her uneasiness if I can or should at all?

Rah, Oklahoma! Rah, Oklahoma! Rah, Oklahoma~! O-K-U!
SoonerMan on

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    ZonkytonkmanZonkytonkman Registered User regular
    edited November 2007
    i don't know if i've ever seen a double thread before

    Zonkytonkman on
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