Self Improvement (the best revenge)

Chiba

So they say that living a good life is the best revenge when it comes to post-breakups. Hit me up with some ideas.

Age: 19
Setting: College dorm in downtown Pittsburgh (Duquesne)

What can I do to work on myself? First obvious thing was exercise. I've never really been one to exercise because I have a fairly high metabolism. Though getting some muscle would be nice and the overall benefit of being in shape. What are some good exercises I could do within my dorm room that are quick and don't require much equipment?

What other ways do you guys suggest for self improvement to improve my quality of life? Vague I know, ask questions if you need.

TL DR

Pushups, situps, jumping jacks.

Blake T

Self Improvement for revenge is one of the worst reasons to do so.

Erlking

What? There is never a bad reason to want to improve your quality of life.

Are there any skills you wish you had or anything you wish you knew? Cooking, dancing, painting, fencing, writing, a musical instrument, some sort of craft? You might look into lessons for something. Always feels good to know how to do something cool and just to feel accomplished really.

kaliyama

er, I think revenge is, because how are you going to motivate yourself to change your life to spite someone else? The time taken to perfect/get good at something is going to be longer than the time spent being bitter about a breakup at age 19. Furthermore, you should find something you enjoy once you finish.

Something good I never do before I have to is get SCUBA certified, which you can do in a pool. This is short + fun.

Grimm

Take up an instrument. Learn a programing language. Try teaching yourself a foreign language. If all else fails and you just want to take your mind off things, theres always the southside.

Limp moose

blanket has never seen the count de monte cristo. Revenge is an excellent motivator.

I suggest you check out the fitness thread for more in depth advice on workouts.

Pick a hobby. Do it once a week a week or more and get good at it. Learn an instrument, become a great bowler whatever. Just pick something you like and join a league or a club.

As for work outs in a dorm room. Do 5 max sets a day of sit ups and push ups and run a mile or 2 and you will get in great shape fast.

LondonBridge

If you really want to change your physique then you need to lift weights at a gym. Read up on it in the fitness thread.

Another great way to feel good after a break up is a new wardrobe, maybe a new hair cut too.

Blake T

Limp moose wrote: »

blanket has never seen the count de monte cristo. Revenge is an excellent motivator.

I suggest you check out the fitness thread for more in depth advice on workouts.

Pick a hobby. Do it once a week a week or more and get good at it. Learn an instrument, become a great bowler whatever. Just pick something you like and join a league or a club.

As for work outs in a dorm room. Do 5 max sets a day of sit ups and push ups and run a mile or 2 and you will get in great shape fast.

I'm reading the orriginal right now actually.

Are you forgetting the end when all he has is his revenge and a feeling of emptyness.

Raziel078

I think that revenge is just as good as any reason to get started as long as in time you let go and move on and in the process begin enjoying the activity on it's own merits.

Kyougu

You could try learning how to play an instrument.

Nitsuj82

Exercise: Get a bicycle and ride the shit out of it. Not only will it remind you of when you were a kid, but when you increase your skill, you REALLY notice it (both in your physique and your performance). I'm doing a couple of centuries next year, and I can't wait.

Improvement: Learn. How. To. Cook. It's not only a great life skill, but it's a social thing that you can do with future dates and friends alike.

Chiba

Wow. Wasn't really looking for discussion if revenge was a good motivator for self improvement. It's just I feel rather crappy about the situation, and telling myself that the best revenge for being rejected is to live a good life and just keep improving myself. Hardly negative. Would you rather me mope and get stuck in a rut and not move forward?

I might have to bite the bullet and go to the gym here on campus, but I'm fairly reluctant to. I don't know, I'm just not too excited about that kind of setting. I mean, I'm not looking to bulk up any, just maybe so I'm not ALL skin and bones and I'm getting some exercise. It's mostly that which I'm looking for because of the whole thing of exercising making you feel better if you're a little down etc.

Learning to cook sounds like an excellent idea. I can't really do that while I'm here at college (no kitchenette in my hallway this year, I count on the food services to supply me with laxative laced food substitutes). But I'll definitely think about trying that one when I get home for Christmas break. I've always wanted to try cooking (besides putting frozen food on a pan in the oven / microwave).

Okay, there was suggestions on a foreign language and an instrument. What languages are the easiest to teach yourself? And I'm pretty tight on cash, so I suppose an instrument wouldn't work out so well? I mean it'd be cool to learn to play the guitar or something, but I don't have the money to support that.

VeritasVR

Chiba wrote: »

I might have to bite the bullet and go to the gym here on campus, but I'm fairly reluctant to. I don't know, I'm just not too excited about that kind of setting. I mean, I'm not looking to bulk up any, just maybe so I'm not ALL skin and bones and I'm getting some exercise. It's mostly that which I'm looking for because of the whole thing of exercising making you feel better if you're a little down etc.

I think you should try fencing like Erlking suggested. The casual fencing crowd is definitely not intimidating and you get an amazing amount of exercise by doing seemingly little (at first, because you use muscles that have rarely been used before). I'm not sure of any clubs in the Pittsburgh area, but there's usually 2 or 3 in a big city like that.

SoonerMan

I know a lot of people will say exercise is the best thing to do. It's great, but if you're really trying to improve yourself just be a good person. Be nice to people unexpectedly, try different things. Don't do anything though if you're trying to spite your ex, either do it for yourself or not at all.

Shmoepong

Pick up a martial art. It'll get you in shape, it's relatively cheap and it only requires being attentive.

I suggest jujitsu, but I'm biased.

jotate

As unhealthy as using revenge is to motivate yourself, it works. Get dumped, lose 60 pounds, happen across the ex. Instant ego boost. Nothing wrong with some extra self esteem when you need it the most.

Blake T

No, saying maybe I should improve myself to increase my chances with the opposite sex is a healthy way of improving yourself. Cackling to yourself in a high tower thinking of the day that you finally run into your ex so you can rub her face in it is not a healthy way to improve yourself and seems to scream that you really aren't over her.

You should improve yourself to make yourself feel better not to make other people feel worse. That's just being a dick.

(Also fencing is wicked fun and I used to do it before I ripped me knee in two)

ManofSteel

Self improvement after a break up may be mean, but nothing tastes as sweet as revenge. For fitness in college I suggest Men's Health Home Workout Bible (it has an entire section on substitutes for the gym). As for languages, go with French, its not that hard and I have yet to meet a woman that didn't absolutely melt because of it. Also consider getting new clothes, go get a fashionista or a female friend to take you shopping, its worth it.

Revenge may not be the best motive for change, but I honestly can't argue with the results.

supabeast

Getting out of your dorm room would be a really great start on self-improvement. Doing limited exercise that doesn’t involve leaving your room is not.

musanman

I so so highly recommend learning a musical instrument. I absolutely love my guitar and feel so good as I learn more and more.

Butterfly4u

Seriously after my last horrible break up I got a new job, a new apt, and a better car. I was planning to do all of this before my ex fiance broke up with me, but it was just that much sweeter after he broke up with me. He made comments about me making so much money now and how nice my car is. Then he'd talk about how miserable he is with the girl that he left me for. I just smile and say Travis (my new boyfriend) and I are doing great! I view it as karma making it's way back around.

delphinus

last serious gf i had dumped me. 5 years later i picked up a science degree with a cushy govt career.
sure as hell showed her!

Sunday_Assassin

It doesn't sound as though he wants to do this to get back at his ex, but rather help himself out of the typical funk we all go through when something like this happens. It is 'the best revenge' because it doesn't hurt anyone, and is the only surefire way to feel better about yourself.

The most important thing I find is to break out of routine. It's all well and good saying you'll do situps etc. in your room, but if you spend a lot of time there you'll eventually stop (well, if you're me you will), and sink back into whatever you did before. I highly recommend either going to a gym (a social experience in its own way) or finding a circuit to run, just somewhere you can go that's different from before. Really helps when trying to change yourself.

Also, buy yourself a new suit. Nothing makes a man feel finer ;-)