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Useless Tips and Tricks

1246713

Posts

  • DislexicDislexic Creepy Uncle Bad Touch Your local playgroundRegistered User regular
    edited December 2007
    ChicoBlue wrote: »
    If you're going to bring a knife to a gun fight, make sure that the knife you bring can shoot bullets.
    I'm ready.



    DSC05538.jpg

    That's actually pretty fucking badass.

    Dislexic on
    batsig.jpg
  • bongibongi regular
    edited December 2007
    we have 200 couches where you can sleep right

    bongi on
  • potatoepotatoe Registered User regular
    edited December 2007
    ChicoBlue wrote: »
    If you're going to bring a knife to a gun fight, make sure that the knife you bring can shoot bullets.
    I'm ready.



    [noparse]DSC05538.jpg[/noparse]

    wait...look how those brass knuckles are facing

    that just looks like bad news

    potatoe on
  • ZzuluZzulu Registered User regular
    edited December 2007
    The pupil of the eye expands as much as 45 percent when a person looks at something pleasing

    Get a good look on peoples eyes and you can tell what they're thinking

    Zzulu on
    t5qfc9.jpg
  • stimtokolosstimtokolos Registered User regular
    edited December 2007
    Someone brought that onto a collectors show. All I thought was "Damn, knuckledusters AND a knife..."

    stimtokolos on
  • ChicoBlueChicoBlue Registered User regular
    edited December 2007
    Instead of looking at the eyes of a person, look at their penis.

    If their penis gets bigger while you are talking to them you are doing something right.

    If they don't have a penis, they are not worth talking to.

    ChicoBlue on
  • the wookthe wook Registered User regular
    edited December 2007
    potatoe wrote: »
    ChicoBlue wrote: »
    If you're going to bring a knife to a gun fight, make sure that the knife you bring can shoot bullets.
    I'm ready.



    [noparse]DSC05538.jpg[/noparse]

    wait...look how those brass knuckles are facing

    that just looks like bad news

    yeah, that looks custom built to shoot yourself in the face

    the wook on
  • stimtokolosstimtokolos Registered User regular
    edited December 2007
    potatoe wrote: »
    ChicoBlue wrote: »
    If you're going to bring a knife to a gun fight, make sure that the knife you bring can shoot bullets.
    I'm ready.



    [noparse]DSC05538.jpg[/noparse]

    wait...look how those brass knuckles are facing

    that just looks like bad news

    Use it so the knife runs down the back of your arm I think, either way yes the knife still faces you, maybe you could slash after you punch of something stupid. I don't know. Either way its a retarded weapon.

    stimtokolos on
  • ZzuluZzulu Registered User regular
    edited December 2007
    jesus christ
    Several well documented instances have been reported of extremely obese people flushing aircraft toilets whilst still sitting on them. The vacuum action of these toilets sucked the rectum inside out.

    [€dit] If you are horribly fat, do not fucking sit and flush while on an airplane

    Zzulu on
    t5qfc9.jpg
  • the wookthe wook Registered User regular
    edited December 2007
    who flushes while still sitting?

    the wook on
  • VorusVorus Registered User regular
    edited December 2007
    Don't be a nihilist; it makes you look like a tool.

    also it's exhausting

    Vorus on
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • Just Like ThatJust Like That Registered User regular
    edited December 2007
    The amount of trident-related violence has gone down 99.6% since medieval times

    Just Like That on
  • redheadredhead Registered User regular
    edited December 2007
    potatoe wrote: »
    redhead wrote: »
    Zzulu wrote: »
    Between 25% to 33% of the population sneeze when they are exposed to light. (What an odd statistic)
    there's no way this is true as stated

    either there's something missing or this is just another one of those "omg isn't the so weeirrdd?!!?" things that get passed on for god knows what reason despite being untrue

    seriously

    think of how many classrooms you've been in where the lights were turned off for a movie
    did 1/4 to 1/3 of the kids sneeze when the lights were turned back on?
    hell, did 1 or 2 kids sneeze?
    so much of the shit people try to pass on is obviously false that it's astonishing that people don't pick up on that

    people get a big kick out of learning and passing on anything that defies conventional wisdom, makes them appear special (how many times have you seen someone pass on something that tells you "only __% of humans can do this!" when it actually applies to pretty much everyone?) or goes against what they've been taught in school

    it's really kind of frustrating

    redhead on
  • stimtokolosstimtokolos Registered User regular
    edited December 2007
    Clearly there is still a fair few incidents involving tridents. I mean if five people are killed via trident a year in the world. Thats a fair few people being killed by tridents, then we have to reason how many people were killed with tridents in Medieval times, then we have to think about why I'm rationalising and how it has failed because someone woke me up and it was rude.

    stimtokolos on
  • see317see317 Registered User regular
    edited December 2007
    potatoe wrote: »
    ChicoBlue wrote: »
    If you're going to bring a knife to a gun fight, make sure that the knife you bring can shoot bullets.
    I'm ready.



    [noparse]DSC05538.jpg[/noparse]

    wait...look how those brass knuckles are facing

    that just looks like bad news

    Use it so the knife runs down the back of your arm I think, either way yes the knife still faces you, maybe you could slash after you punch of something stupid. I don't know. Either way its a retarded weapon.
    Unless you're not supposed to put your fingers through the holes, and it's actually just an interesting way to save weight and materials on the handle.

    see317 on
  • Randall_FlaggRandall_Flagg Registered User regular
    edited December 2007
    Don't be a nihilist; it makes you look like a tool.

    If you're colorblind, you can't be a pilot for the navy.

    Randall_Flagg on
  • redheadredhead Registered User regular
    edited December 2007
    Zzulu wrote: »
    jesus christ
    Several well documented instances have been reported of extremely obese people flushing aircraft toilets whilst still sitting on them. The vacuum action of these toilets sucked the rectum inside out.
    [€dit] If you are horribly fat, do not fucking sit and flush while on an airplane
    this also sounds really false

    where are you getting these?

    redhead on
  • stimtokolosstimtokolos Registered User regular
    edited December 2007
    see317 wrote: »
    potatoe wrote: »
    ChicoBlue wrote: »
    If you're going to bring a knife to a gun fight, make sure that the knife you bring can shoot bullets.
    I'm ready.



    [noparse]DSC05538.jpg[/noparse]

    wait...look how those brass knuckles are facing

    that just looks like bad news

    Use it so the knife runs down the back of your arm I think, either way yes the knife still faces you, maybe you could slash after you punch of something stupid. I don't know. Either way its a retarded weapon.
    Unless you're not supposed to put your fingers through the holes, and it's actually just an interesting way to save weight and materials on the handle.

    I prefer wook's idea. Also Randall, I don't think you can be a pilot at all. Instead of being a pilot (pretty sure he wanted to be a pilot for a commercial airliner) my physics teacher had to well, teach us physics.

    stimtokolos on
  • ZzuluZzulu Registered User regular
    edited December 2007
    from a facts book

    Perhaps the horribly obese person(s) this happened to just had a very loose anus

    Zzulu on
    t5qfc9.jpg
  • Randall_FlaggRandall_Flagg Registered User regular
    edited December 2007
    see317 wrote: »
    potatoe wrote: »
    ChicoBlue wrote: »
    If you're going to bring a knife to a gun fight, make sure that the knife you bring can shoot bullets.
    I'm ready.



    [noparse]DSC05538.jpg[/noparse]

    wait...look how those brass knuckles are facing

    that just looks like bad news

    Use it so the knife runs down the back of your arm I think, either way yes the knife still faces you, maybe you could slash after you punch of something stupid. I don't know. Either way its a retarded weapon.
    Unless you're not supposed to put your fingers through the holes, and it's actually just an interesting way to save weight and materials on the handle.

    I prefer wook's idea. Also Randall, I don't think you can be a pilot at all. Instead of being a pilot (pretty sure he wanted to be a pilot for a commercial airliner) my physics teacher had to well, teach us physics.

    someone hasn't seen little miss sunshine

    Randall_Flagg on
  • VorusVorus Registered User regular
    edited December 2007
    Watch Little Miss Sunshine

    h5 Randall

    Vorus on
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • Just Like ThatJust Like That Registered User regular
    edited December 2007
    redhead wrote: »
    so much of the shit people try to pass on is obviously false that it's astonishing that people don't pick up on that

    people get a big kick out of learning and passing on anything that defies conventional wisdom, makes them appear special (how many times have you seen someone pass on something that tells you "only __% of humans can do this!" when it actually applies to pretty much everyone?) or goes against what they've been taught in school

    it's really kind of frustrating

    The worst are those laws that supposedly exist but nobody enforces, because some people think they are hilarious and amazing.

    "Hey man, did you know that it's illegal to peel an orange on Thursdays in California? Crazy, dude! I mean, why would they pass a law like that? Ha ha"

    "Hey wow, thanks for that complete waste of oxygen"

    Just Like That on
  • Metzger MeisterMetzger Meister It Gets Worse before it gets any better.Registered User regular
    edited December 2007
    Kari Byron is an ugly toad.

    edit: Women still aren't allowed to wear dresses that show their ankles in Wyoming. Unenforced law. Crazy, huh?

    Metzger Meister on
  • stimtokolosstimtokolos Registered User regular
    edited December 2007
    redhead wrote: »
    Zzulu wrote: »
    jesus christ
    Several well documented instances have been reported of extremely obese people flushing aircraft toilets whilst still sitting on them. The vacuum action of these toilets sucked the rectum inside out.
    [€dit] If you are horribly fat, do not fucking sit and flush while on an airplane
    this also sounds really false

    where are you getting these?

    My friend who was doing English as a Second Language had to read a book about some child's mental hospital. In this book there was a kid who made himself poop really hard, and he just kept pushing all the time, like he would sit in a corner and just poop, even when he didn't have any left, and his thing was he tried so hard he pooped out his own anus on a regular basis. I don't know if this helps.

    stimtokolos on
  • ChicoBlueChicoBlue Registered User regular
    edited December 2007
    Kari Bryon is an ugly toad that I would like to stick my penis into.

    ChicoBlue on
  • stimtokolosstimtokolos Registered User regular
    edited December 2007
    see317 wrote: »
    potatoe wrote: »
    ChicoBlue wrote: »
    If you're going to bring a knife to a gun fight, make sure that the knife you bring can shoot bullets.
    I'm ready.



    [noparse]DSC05538.jpg[/noparse]

    wait...look how those brass knuckles are facing

    that just looks like bad news

    Use it so the knife runs down the back of your arm I think, either way yes the knife still faces you, maybe you could slash after you punch of something stupid. I don't know. Either way its a retarded weapon.
    Unless you're not supposed to put your fingers through the holes, and it's actually just an interesting way to save weight and materials on the handle.

    I prefer wook's idea. Also Randall, I don't think you can be a pilot at all. Instead of being a pilot (pretty sure he wanted to be a pilot for a commercial airliner) my physics teacher had to well, teach us physics.

    someone hasn't seen little miss sunshine

    Correct.

    stimtokolos on
  • ZzuluZzulu Registered User regular
    edited December 2007
    The Giant cricket of Africa enjoys eating human hair.

    Beware of the giant cricket

    Zzulu on
    t5qfc9.jpg
  • Just Like ThatJust Like That Registered User regular
    edited December 2007
    Kari Byron is an ugly toad.

    does not compute

    kari-byron.jpg

    Just Like That on
  • LarlarLarlar consecutive normal brunches Moderator, ClubPA Mod Emeritus
    edited December 2007
    Time travel is possible with the proper vegetables. Broccoli is not of this world.

    Larlar on
    iwantanswers3.png
  • stimtokolosstimtokolos Registered User regular
    edited December 2007
    The cashew is part of a fruit that grows in tropical regions called 'a cashew apple'. After harvesting, the cashew apple keeps for only 24 hours before the soft fruit deteriorates. The cashew apple is not commercially important since it spoils quickly, but local people love the fruit. To harvest the nut, the ripe apple is allowed to fall to the ground where natives easily gather it. The apple and nut are separated.

    stimtokolos on
  • redheadredhead Registered User regular
    edited December 2007
    Zzulu wrote: »
    from a facts book

    Perhaps the horribly obese person(s) this happened to just had a very loose anus
    everything in those stupid fucking books is false, as many of us picked up shortly before graduating elementary school. I mean, jesus christ. think about this for a second. let's just go back to that one you mentioned about airlines, since we already dealt with the one about sneezing. we'll try using some common sense.

    I mean, if you just think about this for half a second it makes no fucking sense at all. your insides not that fragile, toilets are not that strong, and airline companies/toilet manufacturers are not that stupid.

    plus, like many of these stories, it looks like it was crafted to appeal to what people think they know in order to get them to pass it on

    it has fat people getting punished for being fat, and plays off of people's memories of loud-as-hell airline toilets, which are annoying. people like to see far people get the shaft and they dislike airplanes and loud toilets, so they smile to themselves and pass it on.

    it's really vague, too. and it's just a more extreme version of this, listed on Snopes as false.

    redhead on
  • AbracadanielAbracadaniel Registered User regular
    edited December 2007
    run a background check on a potential mate

    Abracadaniel on
  • Metzger MeisterMetzger Meister It Gets Worse before it gets any better.Registered User regular
    edited December 2007
    Tobasco wrote: »
    Kari Byron is an ugly toad.

    does not compute

    kari-byron.jpg

    Alright, I was just trying to get a rise out of people. She'd be WAY more pleasing if she wasn't an intolerable hippy.

    Metzger Meister on
  • Just Like ThatJust Like That Registered User regular
    edited December 2007
    Beavers mate for life

    Just Like That on
  • VorusVorus Registered User regular
    edited December 2007
    A lot of these aren't tips OR tricks
    they are facts
    we had a thread like that already jeez

    Vorus on
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • STATE OF THE ART ROBOTSTATE OF THE ART ROBOT Registered User regular
    edited December 2007
    BBQ sauce can make almost any dish more delicious.

    STATE OF THE ART ROBOT on
  • ZzuluZzulu Registered User regular
    edited December 2007
    redhead wrote: »
    Zzulu wrote: »
    from a facts book

    Perhaps the horribly obese person(s) this happened to just had a very loose anus
    everything in those stupid fucking books is false, as many of us picked up shortly before graduating elementary school. I mean, jesus christ. think about this for a second. let's just go back to that one you mentioned about airlines, since we already dealt with the one about sneezing. we'll try using some common sense.

    I mean, if you just think about this for half a second it makes no fucking sense at all. your insides not that fragile, toilets are not that strong, and airline companies/toilet manufacturers are not that stupid.

    plus, like many of these stories, it looks like it was crafted to appeal to what people think they know in order to get them to pass it on

    it has fat people getting punished for being fat, and plays off of people's memories of loud-as-hell airline toilets, which are annoying. people like to see far people get the shaft and they dislike airplanes and loud toilets, so they smile to themselves and pass it on.

    it's really vague, too. and it's just a more extreme version of this, listed on Snopes as false.

    Actually, most of the facts in it are completely true as I recognize many of them and many of them are not as outlandish as the ones I'm listing.

    Also; Tropical ants, when a flood sweeps down on them, roll themselves into a huge living ball which drifts upon the water, with the young safe and dry at the core.

    How cool is that. I suggest we all train ourselves to roll into massive human balls to protect ourselves during catastrophes

    Zzulu on
    t5qfc9.jpg
  • redheadredhead Registered User regular
    edited December 2007
    Tobasco wrote: »
    redhead wrote: »
    so much of the shit people try to pass on is obviously false that it's astonishing that people don't pick up on that

    people get a big kick out of learning and passing on anything that defies conventional wisdom, makes them appear special (how many times have you seen someone pass on something that tells you "only __% of humans can do this!" when it actually applies to pretty much everyone?) or goes against what they've been taught in school

    it's really kind of frustrating

    The worst are those laws that supposedly exist but nobody enforces, because some people think they are hilarious and amazing.

    "Hey man, did you know that it's illegal to peel an orange on Thursdays in California? Crazy, dude! I mean, why would they pass a law like that? Ha ha"

    "Hey wow, thanks for that complete waste of oxygen"
    god, yes, I hate those. with half a grain of common sense you can tell that most of them if not all of them were created by taking a law that makes sense ("In the U.S. you are not allowed to obstruct traffic"), then making it ridiculously overspecific and saying that that's the law ("In Lodi, CA you are not allowed to drive over 2,000 sheep across a dirt road for an hour"). there, now it's hilarious! durr hurr hurr hurrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

    edit: and people fucking love to pass these on because it lets them indulge their utterly passive vague dislike of the government in a completely nonconstructive way, by laughing at things that are either false accusations, irrelevant, or both.

    redhead on
  • LarlarLarlar consecutive normal brunches Moderator, ClubPA Mod Emeritus
    edited December 2007
    Laundry machines are all linked to a central cleaning unit that was originally made to control the planet's weather, but the chief scientist kept using localized mini-clouds to wash blood stains out of his pants from nights out with England's only haemophiliac rugby team, Squelcher Nine.

    Larlar on
    iwantanswers3.png
  • redheadredhead Registered User regular
    edited December 2007
    Zzulu: well gee whiz, only about half of the things in this book are obviously false! better quote it like it's god's own truth, then. that's sure a smart thing to do. better not think for even a second about whether what I'm posting is obviously false or not, either. that would sure be a waste of time.

    redhead on
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