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So, I am addicted to Computers
Vic
Registered User regular
Registered User regular
This thread may not have been a good idea. It is late, and while I have done my best to read the forum rules and checking through the latest stuff to see similar topics I always feel awkward making a new thread. Maybe I should really see a shrink, and maybe this is not suitable for this forum at all. Nevertheless, I felt like I needed to make this post to sort of put down in writing the definite proof that I do have a problem.
I had a really long written post, but I decided not to bore you. I am a 21 year old virgin, and I am at risk of failing my education because of my computer addiction.
What I need is some advice on how to deal with this. Any plans I have tried to use to combat the problem usually gets forgotten or pushed aside by the time the immediate problem disappears. I am considering getting my parents involved, they are both sort of aware of the problem but not the extent of it, but I am hesitant to do this as I will be worrying them while they wont really be able to help much.
Does anyone have any similar experiences, and how have you dealt with it?
I had a really long written post, but I decided not to bore you. I am a 21 year old virgin, and I am at risk of failing my education because of my computer addiction.
What I need is some advice on how to deal with this. Any plans I have tried to use to combat the problem usually gets forgotten or pushed aside by the time the immediate problem disappears. I am considering getting my parents involved, they are both sort of aware of the problem but not the extent of it, but I am hesitant to do this as I will be worrying them while they wont really be able to help much.
Does anyone have any similar experiences, and how have you dealt with it?
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Are you spending time on the computer playing video games or do you find yourself endlessly browsing the internet? Both?
These are both kind of extreme, but in neither case are you going to have as much fuck-up leeway.
Beyond that you just need to assert some self control and go out with some friends. In my experience, computer related addictions tend to leak over into a general disappointment in other areas in life and I'd advise you to start really stepping out of your comfort zone and getting roughed up by life and doing the things you want to be doing and the things you need to do to get ahead.
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It is both. I am not horribly anti-social, and I have a fair amount of friends but recently I have found myself to be increasingly irritable and moody.
The big problem I have is that things tend to get pushed aside to allow for more computer time. I only clean my apartment when I really have to (it would be a horrible mess if I didn't have people over weekly) and I tend to push off unimportant things such as sleep and showering. When things are really stressful, I almost compulsively block out the stress by keeping a constant stream of shows running while browsing the internet or doing gaming stuff.
As for selling my computer and breaking all my discs, my goal is not a complete break-off and ideally I would like to keep a moderate computer use. If this is possible at all will show in due time I suppose...
You need to use the computer time as positive reinforcement.
Begin by going by a plan: you want to establish, say, for every three hours off of the computer, you get 1 hour on it. This will allow you to invest time in other things and then be rewarded after finding other things to fill your time.
Then I bought an iPhone, so now it kinda feels like I can have a computer with me everywhere I go. And thus I go more places.
Eventually, I realized I wasn't addicted to computers all along.
I was addicted to information.
And I still am. Maybe you too.
Get yourself away from the computer. Do you play an MMORPG? If so, cancel your account. If you're worried about being a virgin, do something about it. Does your college have dance classes? If so, take maybe a swing dancing class or a ballroom dancing class...something that forces you to be out with the opposite sex (I can vouch for this - I'm learning how to swing dance right now..it's a lot of fun and a great way to meet women). Join a college club that is related to your major or something you care about. You're 21 - you can see about hitting up some bars with your friends and talking to some girls there. And make sleep and showering the most important thing you do in a day.
Just some ideas.
EDIT: Sorry, just one more thing. Do you have any interests outside the computer? In maybe learning an instrument/researching a topic/anything else? College campuses have great resources for things like this. If you want to learn how to play the piano, than take a piano class. Learn how to cook a great meal, there may be classes for those too. The point of this is not so much getting pussy, but just for your own personal enrichment (even though learning to play an instrument and knowing how to cook a delicious meal might help you in scoring some poonani...but that's not the point. :P)
What are you trying to say here? Being a virgin at 21 is a good thing? Getting a girlfriend and having sex with her is way better for your self esteem and infinitely more fun than sitting on the computer all day.
If you're into the on-line thing, and that's part of it, realize those people in that box can only give you part of what you need - real life social interactions can give you everything you need.
i lol'ed too
I am getting a few involved, and I hope it will help in the long run.
The main problem as I see it, and as I have heard from others with a similar problem is that computer use is basically my life. I spend time with friends away from it, I go to school, I study and stuff but my computer is the "main" part of my life. Other stuff keeps me from the computer, not the other way around. This makes turning over to a new awesome real life a bit of a "now what" situation. You cant spend all your time with productive hobbies.
I feel this has made me introvert as well, not to the point of being truly asocial but I do feel uncomfortable in alot of social situations including making new contacts. I fully intend on working on the girlfriend problem as soon as I can, even though I have little idea on where to start.
Thanks by the way tracertong, you are one of a kind. As for the question, all women I have fallen in love with have been either taken or considered me "just a friend". Awkwardness + multiple rejections + non-existant dating pool does not a girlfriend make. Getting the pussay isn't exactly the topic of this thread though, thats a whole other problem I'll hopefully solve naturally if the other plans fall into place.
Right now I am going through a tough time, the stress and anxiety of the exams are tough to deal with especially while trying to go "cold turkey". After they have passed though, I hope that feeling a bit better will help me dedicate myself better to my new hobbies. I enjoy drawing and cooking, as well as some writing so I have some stuff to work on. I am considering trying out amateur acting as well, people have recommended this to me earlier and it seems fairly ideal in this situation.
Thanks everyone by the way.
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yeah, until you're skipping class and not going to work cause you're way too busy having unprotected sex...
That's just a thought. I may be talking out of my ass, but it was my own personal experience in that maybe you're using that computer to actively avoid other things.
Thinatos may be right in that if you have friends or roommates, it might help to keep you in check. My suggestion to add onto this is to think about something you really like to do other than being on the computer. Even something that's still introverted like reading. Don't expect yourself to take a huge leap and change everything at once. That can work, but so can taking things in more comfortable steps. One last suggestion is to turn the computer off. If you leave your computer on all the time, as I used to, it becomes a great temptation to go quickly look something up, and then get caught up in bunch of other things on it. Hit the power button and turn it off. When it becomes more of a chore to get on there, you're less likely to go on there to begin with unless you have to.
I am afraid this may be true. It feels good saying all my problems stem from my computer addiction, but in truth my problems are probably part of the cause. Then again, the most likely case is that it that both are negatively reinforcing one another. My depression makes me turn to distractions, entertainment and fantasy. This makes me neglect my schoolwork, which in turn makes me feel worse about myself.
Currently on day two of going more or less cold turkey, and it feels good but weird. Leaving my comfort seems to make me both nervous and excited, even though I haven't done any really radical changes it seems like just coming out about it has changed my mindset a bit.
Having dinner with my mother tonight, so I will get a chance to discuss it with her. I really hate worrying her about stuff, but she knows this is a problem so I am sure she will be happy and supportive. Right now I feel like getting as many people close to me as possible aware is going to help make sure this doesn't just run out in the sand within a week.
For me, when I didn't get out as much and I got absorbed in a different culture much like that of an online forum or online game, I got very cynical and less patient with the people around me.
I found it helped to set up a schedule of sorts in an attempt to reduce time on the computer.
I started an exercise routine with a friend. We meet after work and on the weekends for a workout at the gym 3 times a week or so and for me, I only use the computer during the week regularly. The weekends for me (friday through sunday) I typically stick to hanging out with friends or doing things that aren't related to using the computer unless I'm with friends.
It may not work for everyone, but since it worked for me I thought I'd up and suggest it. There's not always the need to try and cold turkey something and break it immediately at a full speed ahead pace, you can try getting out one day a week where that one day, you plan on diong things outside of your place of residence, even if you have to go study or read at the library.
As far as the studies portion of your problem goes, try working with a study group. simply takl to a classmate or two with any of your classes and ask if they'd be willing to go over homework or notes at another time. I did this with a lot of my classes and not only did I get the chance to meet people and make new friends, it got me out of the house and improved my grades at the same time.
Good luck Vic.
Be careful. Having a support system is a good thing, but having people push you may not. You need to come to this on your terms and not theirs, otherwise the change will not genuinely take.
And I can vouch for the girlfriend situation. I have a wonderful girlfriend who I am madly in love with, and she makes me want to change myself so I'm not quite as dependent on computers as I was.
One thing I may suggest, put some kind of parental controls on your computer account. I know it may sound stupid, but if you limit yourself to 2 or 3 hours a day on the computer, it will force you off of it. if you have Vista this is easy to do, it's built in. It will take willpower to not override your own parental controls, but I think it could work really well for you in this situation.