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AvP: Retarded
sdrawkcaB emaN
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So, I saw this...thing....this...abomination recently, called Alien vs Predator: Requiem.
In all honesty, given my altered state of mind, it was a pretty enjoyable movie in its own right -- absurd, over-the-top gore, a Predator killing a fuckton of Aliens, all in all surprisingly watchable (if you’re in the mood for a so-bad-it’s-good kind of flick).
My real beef with this movie is the way it degrades the two franchises (Alien and Predator) into common horror-movie monsters. I guess this is hardly the first film to erode the reputation of either franchise (or that of the eponymous creatures), but at least even the first AvP tried to maintain a certain sense of scope and mystery from the earlier flicks.
AvP:R -- well, it really isn’t crucial to the film at all what kind of monsters were used.
Addendum: Also wtf Predalien. I get that you’re some kind of super-xenomorph but that is no excuse for you to be laying eggs in people and whatnot. non-canonical
In all honesty, given my altered state of mind, it was a pretty enjoyable movie in its own right -- absurd, over-the-top gore, a Predator killing a fuckton of Aliens, all in all surprisingly watchable (if you’re in the mood for a so-bad-it’s-good kind of flick).
My real beef with this movie is the way it degrades the two franchises (Alien and Predator) into common horror-movie monsters. I guess this is hardly the first film to erode the reputation of either franchise (or that of the eponymous creatures), but at least even the first AvP tried to maintain a certain sense of scope and mystery from the earlier flicks.
AvP:R -- well, it really isn’t crucial to the film at all what kind of monsters were used.
Addendum: Also wtf Predalien. I get that you’re some kind of super-xenomorph but that is no excuse for you to be laying eggs in people and whatnot. non-canonical
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I mean WTF? AvP should be a slam dunk. But we now have TWO AvP movies that totally blow? and one is even rated R. What the hell man?
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Nothing I posted is at all plot-critical.
Mostly because there really isn’t much of a plot to begin with.
Also, if the only human characters you can include are absurd cliches, don't include any at all. In a related note, political commentary has no place in a movie like this at all, let alone with such a spiteful attitude.
I mean, 2 seperate futures where mankind is made the bitches of machines, someones had to put 2 and 2 together.
If this merger happens, I'd like to apologize...
Could it maybe have picked that up from the predator? I just figured it had something to do with the way the Preds reproduce.
I Still enjoyed the movie somewhat just for the gore and.. like has been said before... the whole "its so bad its good". Except that its only kinda good. Kinda. Not really.
Maybe so. Still kinda pissed me off
The plot:
They reduced it to the same plot as Jason vs. Freddy. Only not as appealing and with dumber humans.
The characters:
The aliens:
The predator:
The directing:
The ending:
Oh god, they want to make another one with an unlikely tie-in to Alien.
The PR:
Look on IMDB. As of friday, the score was still well above 6 despite all the negative reviews, since there were exactly 800 10 out of 10 reviews. Out of 1,200 at that point. All the positive reviews were slight variations on how much the movie kicked ass and how much better it was than the first installment (they always went out of their way to remark on how this one is rated R instead of PG-13). Someone (or perhaps an entire PR firm of someones) sat there and made over 700 accounts so they could give it 10 out of 10 to combat the inevitable bad reviews that would come out as time went on.
They may not mean to, but they do.
They fill you with the faults they had
And add some extra, just for you.
Which is fucking pathetic.
At least I can always go back to Alien and Aliens....
It's better to forget Resurrection.
I liked the first for what it was.
This makes three times that Anderson's been detached from a sequel, and it turned out terrible(and he wrote RE: Apocalypse, so most of that was still his fault).
I haven't seen AvP:R yet, but I'm not optimistic.
And I'm not looking forward to the nature of deaths I've heard described. Ech.
I never liked the third one. Meh, to each his own.
but i wasn't expecting much
Save yourself the trouble, c.j. Don't see it. Honestly. If you do see it, and pay more than matinee prices, I will personally hunt you down and destroy your shoes with the hydrochloric acid in my blood that appeared after seeing this movie.
The first AvP was way better. By a long shot. And that thing was terrible in and of itself.
this movie hates pregnant women
like.
really really hates them
Pussy
Sadly this was maybe 20% of the movie at best. Way too much shitty human character-interaction and following around. No. one. cares. about. humans. in. Aliens. Vs. Predator.
The whole movie seemed more based on the writers screaming "OH LOOK WHAT WE JUST DID! DID WE DO THAT? OH SHIT YEAH WE DID!"
I was expecting lots of blood, gruesome deaths, and the like.
I got what I payed for, so I am happy. I actually got more than I payed for, actually - I expected an hour of shitty written story, but only got like 30 minutes. The rest of the time was filled with blood and gruesome deaths, which was awesome.
If you went in expecting a masterpiece of cinema you are a fucking idiot.
Because that's all a movie needs right? Lot's and lot's of death that get's more and more horrible as you go?
"Yeah did you see that pregnant woman getting stomach bursted? So awesome. MotY."
Or maybe I'm being too harsh and actually need to watch it first....nah.
If it made it into a theater, or went to DVD... or a cat accidentally got sick on it... then it's good enough for a sequel.
Well I guess I'm partly to blame, I did go around to a friend's house to watch it after he was given a free review copy
They could have added a small hospital wing to NY Presbyterian on the $40 million budget for the sequel and had enough bucks left over to build a dozen orphanages or animal shelters. ;-)
and include soldiers in space with pulse rifles somehow
please
pretty please?
The xenomorphs need a fitting movie to end the franchise. Ressurection was too bad to be the last one
Honestly I can't see how it can be much worse than the first AVP, which pussified the predators and for no good reason changed all of their vision modes, changed how the cloak works and so on with no explanation.
Also, in some cases movies can establish Canon. Remember Ridley Scott never intended for there to be a queen Alien, that was all James Cameron. In the director's cut of the first Alien you can see Scott's drone had no trouble building a nest or laying eggs.
That was another awesome thing about Aliens, the buildup was so slowly done when the Aliens did appear among the pipes etc. it really makes you jump
That was good fun.
There's an official game based on the movie out for the PSP.
I'm afraid to look.
That was the point.
;-)
They may not mean to, but they do.
They fill you with the faults they had
And add some extra, just for you.
Well see, I mean not based on the movie.
And on the PC so I can play with people instead of the six mutants who bought PSP's.
Anyways, why is it called the Predalien? Why not just call it an Alienator?
Because that's just silly.
But sadly appropriate.