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I got Franken-Balls.

NogsNogs Crap, crap, mega crap.Crap, crap, mega crap.Registered User regular
edited January 2008 in Social Entropy++
I am going to a doctor in 3 hours for a consultation about my balls. My balls are all tight up in a knot. I am probably going to have surgery on my balls on Friday. It is possible that I might lose a ball during the surgery. It is also possible that I might lose a ball if I don't have the surgery.

In conclusion:

My balls is whack.


How are your balls hangin' today?

UPDATE: I go in for surgery in 1 hour.

UPDATE2: Surgery went well, and I still have my balls. It kinda hurt to sit the first day, and I have had a splitting headache for 3 days straight. But everything seems to be turning out just fine for the little duders. Though my left one is a little tender, I'm gonna give it a week or so to see what happens. They've been through a lot.

The surgery was pretty much: slice the sack, untangle the ball, stitch the balls to the sack, stitch the sack back up. So now I got Franken-Balls.

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PARKER, YOU'RE FIRED! <-- My comic book podcast! Satan look here!
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Posts

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    [Deleted User][Deleted User] new member
    edited December 2007
    The user and all related content has been deleted.

    [Deleted User] on
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    WeaverWeaver Who are you? What do you want?Registered User regular
    edited December 2007
    half the man he usssssed to beeee

    Weaver on
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    Ol' SparkyOl' Sparky Registered User regular
    edited December 2007
    Pretty swell, actually

    Ol' Sparky on
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    NogsNogs Crap, crap, mega crap. Crap, crap, mega crap.Registered User regular
    edited December 2007
    Ol' Sparky wrote: »
    Pretty swell, actually

    swell or swelling

    Nogs on
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    PARKER, YOU'RE FIRED! <-- My comic book podcast! Satan look here!
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    The Black HunterThe Black Hunter The key is a minimum of compromise, and a simple, unimpeachable reason to existRegistered User regular
    edited December 2007
    My balls are glorious titans of wonder and fertility

    The Black Hunter on
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    BedlamBedlam Registered User regular
    edited December 2007
    Ive been told I have very large balls.

    Sure its not on the top of everyones list of features to have in a mate but its still good right?

    Bedlam on
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    JimothyJimothy Not in front of the fox he's with the owlRegistered User regular
    edited December 2007
    Jimothy on
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    DarkPrimusDarkPrimus Registered User regular
    edited December 2007
    Oh you mean like that one Venture Bros. episode?

    DarkPrimus on
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    CrackedLensCrackedLens Registered User regular
    edited December 2007
    what was the ball contortion thing that dean venture had?

    where one of your nuts gets wrapped around the other....

    EDIT: FUCK YOU PRIMUS

    CrackedLens on
    XBoxLive Gamertag: ZombieKyle Secret Satan Wishlist
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    EinhanderEinhander __BANNED USERS regular
    edited December 2007
    Start riding a bike.

    Get good at it.

    Win the Tour De France.

    What a coincidence that would be.

    Einhander on
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    Ol' SparkyOl' Sparky Registered User regular
    edited December 2007
    Nogs wrote: »
    Ol' Sparky wrote: »
    Pretty swell, actually

    swell or swelling

    swell

    Ol' Sparky on
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    casper_27dcasper_27d The Friendly Ghost EverywhereRegistered User regular
    edited December 2007
    Some balls are held for charity
    And some for fancy dress
    But when they're held for pleasure
    They're the balls that I like best
    My balls are always bouncing
    To the left and to the right
    It's my belief that my big balls
    Should be held every night

    casper_27d on
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    BedlamBedlam Registered User regular
    edited December 2007
    testicular tortion.

    Yes.

    Bedlam on
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    MeizMeiz Registered User regular
    edited December 2007
    Biggest pair you've ever seen.

    My dick's even jealous.

    Meiz on
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    ChicoBlueChicoBlue Registered User regular
    edited December 2007
    You know who else only had one ball?

    Hitler.

    You don't want to be like Hitler, do you?

    ChicoBlue on
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    WeaverWeaver Who are you? What do you want?Registered User regular
    edited December 2007
    Shave a design into your pubes before you go in for the consultation. Shave them into the shape of a heart. And tie a little ribbon around your wangalanger

    Weaver on
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    ChicoBlueChicoBlue Registered User regular
    edited December 2007
    Hitler has only got one ball,
    Göring has two but very small,
    Himmler is somewhat sim'lar,
    But poor old Goebbels has no balls at all.

    ChicoBlue on
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    Centipede DamascusCentipede Damascus Registered User regular
    edited December 2007
    if you do lose a ball, ask them if they can put it into a formaldehyde jar for you so you can keep it on the mantlepiece

    Centipede Damascus on
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    Green LanternGreen Lantern Registered User regular
    edited December 2007
    Everybody says I've got Great balls of fire

    Green Lantern on
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    I'd Fuck Chuck Lidell UpI'd Fuck Chuck Lidell Up Registered User regular
    edited December 2007
    Weaver wrote: »
    Shave a design into your pubes before you go in for the consultation. Shave them into the shape of a heart. And tie a little ribbon around your wangalanger

    heart is too cliche

    make it a duck

    I'd Fuck Chuck Lidell Up on
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    CrackedLensCrackedLens Registered User regular
    edited December 2007
    Everybody says I've got Great balls of fire

    BOOOOOO

    get off the stage

    CrackedLens on
    XBoxLive Gamertag: ZombieKyle Secret Satan Wishlist
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    DrZiplockDrZiplock Registered User regular
    edited December 2007
    Weaver wrote: »
    Shave a design into your pubes before you go in for the consultation. Shave them into the shape of a heart. And tie a little ribbon around your wangalanger



    Be sure to put a note on the ribbon indicating that it is a gift for the doctor to be unwrapped.

    DrZiplock on
  • Options
    CrackedLensCrackedLens Registered User regular
    edited December 2007
    DrZiplock wrote: »
    Weaver wrote: »
    Shave a design into your pubes before you go in for the consultation. Shave them into the shape of a heart. And tie a little ribbon around your wangalanger



    Be sure to put a note on the ribbon indicating that it is a gift for the doctor to be unwrapped.

    put a sticker on your nutsack that says "Do Not Open Till XMAS 2008

    CrackedLens on
    XBoxLive Gamertag: ZombieKyle Secret Satan Wishlist
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    DrZiplockDrZiplock Registered User regular
    edited December 2007
    DrZiplock wrote: »
    Weaver wrote: »
    Shave a design into your pubes before you go in for the consultation. Shave them into the shape of a heart. And tie a little ribbon around your wangalanger



    Be sure to put a note on the ribbon indicating that it is a gift for the doctor to be unwrapped.

    put a sticker on your nutsack that says "Do Not Open Till XMAS 2008

    "Fragile. Handle with Care."

    DrZiplock on
  • Options
    I'd Fuck Chuck Lidell UpI'd Fuck Chuck Lidell Up Registered User regular
    edited December 2007
    DrZiplock wrote: »
    DrZiplock wrote: »
    Weaver wrote: »
    Shave a design into your pubes before you go in for the consultation. Shave them into the shape of a heart. And tie a little ribbon around your wangalanger



    Be sure to put a note on the ribbon indicating that it is a gift for the doctor to be unwrapped.

    put a sticker on your nutsack that says "Do Not Open Till XMAS 2008

    "Fragile. Handle with Care."
    Fragile?

    what is he french?

    I'd Fuck Chuck Lidell Up on
  • Options
    CrackedLensCrackedLens Registered User regular
    edited December 2007
    DrZiplock wrote: »
    DrZiplock wrote: »
    Weaver wrote: »
    Shave a design into your pubes before you go in for the consultation. Shave them into the shape of a heart. And tie a little ribbon around your wangalanger



    Be sure to put a note on the ribbon indicating that it is a gift for the doctor to be unwrapped.

    put a sticker on your nutsack that says "Do Not Open Till XMAS 2008

    "Fragile. Handle with Care."

    Frag-il-e..... Hmm, these must be Italian balls

    CrackedLens on
    XBoxLive Gamertag: ZombieKyle Secret Satan Wishlist
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    casper_27dcasper_27d The Friendly Ghost EverywhereRegistered User regular
    edited December 2007
    Just becareful on what what hospital you go to in the Mineapolis area. A friend of mine went to North Memorial to get a vasectomy and they cut a nerve and now he can not feel his junk.

    casper_27d on
  • Options
    I'd Fuck Chuck Lidell UpI'd Fuck Chuck Lidell Up Registered User regular
    edited December 2007
    DrZiplock wrote: »
    DrZiplock wrote: »
    Weaver wrote: »
    Shave a design into your pubes before you go in for the consultation. Shave them into the shape of a heart. And tie a little ribbon around your wangalanger



    Be sure to put a note on the ribbon indicating that it is a gift for the doctor to be unwrapped.

    put a sticker on your nutsack that says "Do Not Open Till XMAS 2008

    "Fragile. Handle with Care."

    Frag-il-e..... Hmm, these must be Italian balls

    TOO LATE LENS

    I GOT TO THE FOREIGNER JOKE BEFORE YOU

    nothing can save you now

    I'd Fuck Chuck Lidell Up on
  • Options
    CrackedLensCrackedLens Registered User regular
    edited December 2007
    DrZiplock wrote: »
    DrZiplock wrote: »
    Weaver wrote: »
    Shave a design into your pubes before you go in for the consultation. Shave them into the shape of a heart. And tie a little ribbon around your wangalanger



    Be sure to put a note on the ribbon indicating that it is a gift for the doctor to be unwrapped.

    put a sticker on your nutsack that says "Do Not Open Till XMAS 2008

    "Fragile. Handle with Care."

    Frag-il-e..... Hmm, these must be Italian balls

    TOO LATE LENS

    I GOT TO THE FOREIGNER JOKE BEFORE YOU

    nothing can save you now

    but i was quoting Christmas Story

    suck it trebek

    CrackedLens on
    XBoxLive Gamertag: ZombieKyle Secret Satan Wishlist
  • Options
    I'd Fuck Chuck Lidell UpI'd Fuck Chuck Lidell Up Registered User regular
    edited December 2007
    DrZiplock wrote: »
    DrZiplock wrote: »
    Weaver wrote: »
    Shave a design into your pubes before you go in for the consultation. Shave them into the shape of a heart. And tie a little ribbon around your wangalanger



    Be sure to put a note on the ribbon indicating that it is a gift for the doctor to be unwrapped.

    put a sticker on your nutsack that says "Do Not Open Till XMAS 2008

    "Fragile. Handle with Care."

    Frag-il-e..... Hmm, these must be Italian balls

    TOO LATE LENS

    I GOT TO THE FOREIGNER JOKE BEFORE YOU

    nothing can save you now

    but i was quoting Christmas Story

    suck it trebek

    no im pretty sure he says it must be french

    hence why i said "what is he french?"

    I'd Fuck Chuck Lidell Up on
  • Options
    Green LanternGreen Lantern Registered User regular
    edited December 2007
    Well be positive i mean at least they not taking your ass like Munkus doctors

    Green Lantern on
  • Options
    CrackedLensCrackedLens Registered User regular
    edited December 2007
    DrZiplock wrote: »
    DrZiplock wrote: »
    Weaver wrote: »
    Shave a design into your pubes before you go in for the consultation. Shave them into the shape of a heart. And tie a little ribbon around your wangalanger



    Be sure to put a note on the ribbon indicating that it is a gift for the doctor to be unwrapped.

    put a sticker on your nutsack that says "Do Not Open Till XMAS 2008

    "Fragile. Handle with Care."

    Frag-il-e..... Hmm, these must be Italian balls

    TOO LATE LENS

    I GOT TO THE FOREIGNER JOKE BEFORE YOU

    nothing can save you now

    but i was quoting Christmas Story

    suck it trebek

    no im pretty sure he says it must be french

    hence why i said "what is he french?"

    you sure?

    i thought it was italian

    TO THE INTERNET!!!!

    CrackedLens on
    XBoxLive Gamertag: ZombieKyle Secret Satan Wishlist
  • Options
    DrZiplockDrZiplock Registered User regular
    edited December 2007
    DrZiplock wrote: »
    DrZiplock wrote: »
    Weaver wrote: »
    Shave a design into your pubes before you go in for the consultation. Shave them into the shape of a heart. And tie a little ribbon around your wangalanger



    Be sure to put a note on the ribbon indicating that it is a gift for the doctor to be unwrapped.

    put a sticker on your nutsack that says "Do Not Open Till XMAS 2008

    "Fragile. Handle with Care."

    Frag-il-e..... Hmm, these must be Italian balls

    TOO LATE LENS

    I GOT TO THE FOREIGNER JOKE BEFORE YOU

    nothing can save you now

    but i was quoting Christmas Story

    suck it trebek

    no im pretty sure he says it must be french

    hence why i said "what is he french?"


    Boys! Boys! There are enough foreigner jokes for everyone!


    Let us cup each others nuts as a salute to Nogs!

    DrZiplock on
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    Centipede DamascusCentipede Damascus Registered User regular
    edited December 2007
    cupping my balls for you man

    Centipede Damascus on
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    CrackedLensCrackedLens Registered User regular
    edited December 2007
    DrZiplock wrote: »
    DrZiplock wrote: »
    Weaver wrote: »
    Shave a design into your pubes before you go in for the consultation. Shave them into the shape of a heart. And tie a little ribbon around your wangalanger



    Be sure to put a note on the ribbon indicating that it is a gift for the doctor to be unwrapped.

    put a sticker on your nutsack that says "Do Not Open Till XMAS 2008

    "Fragile. Handle with Care."

    Frag-il-e..... Hmm, these must be Italian balls

    TOO LATE LENS

    I GOT TO THE FOREIGNER JOKE BEFORE YOU

    nothing can save you now

    but i was quoting Christmas Story

    suck it trebek

    no im pretty sure he says it must be french

    hence why i said "what is he french?"

    you sure?

    i thought it was italian

    TO THE INTERNET!!!!

    IMDB Says:

    [Mr. Parker reads a side of the box with the prize that he won]
    Mr. Parker: Fra-gee-lay. That must be Italian.
    Mrs. Parker: Uh, I think that says FRAGILE, dear.
    Mr. Parker: Oh, yeah.


    HAHA!!!

    CrackedLens on
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    I'd Fuck Chuck Lidell UpI'd Fuck Chuck Lidell Up Registered User regular
    edited December 2007
    i have my balls in a cup

    i hope this counts

    it's a batman mug if it helps

    edit: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

    I'd Fuck Chuck Lidell Up on
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    NogsNogs Crap, crap, mega crap. Crap, crap, mega crap.Registered User regular
    edited December 2007
    casper_27d wrote: »
    Just becareful on what what hospital you go to in the Mineapolis area. A friend of mine went to North Memorial to get a vasectomy and they cut a nerve and now he can not feel his junk.

    actually im in missouri for christmas break. the surgeon is apparently really good, so there is that i guess.

    Nogs on
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    PARKER, YOU'RE FIRED! <-- My comic book podcast! Satan look here!
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    DrZiplockDrZiplock Registered User regular
    edited December 2007
    12-31-07: Cup Your Nuts for Nogs Day. Never Forget.

    DrZiplock on
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    OdinOdin Registered User regular
    edited December 2007
    balls_cover.jpg

    Odin on
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    casper_27dcasper_27d The Friendly Ghost EverywhereRegistered User regular
    edited December 2007
    Yeah, thats very good. I do not trust any doctors at that hospital at all. I was in a car crash and was paralized from the waist down. They told me I would never walk again. I regained feeling in 6 days and was running again in 3 months.

    casper_27d on
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