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Strip clubs
Treeloot
Registered User regular
Registered User regular
Hello everyone! I will be making my first trip to a strip club tonight, but unfortunately I don't know much about strip clubs. Please tell me what to expect.
Treeloot on
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Posts
don't have them all out in the open at the same time, only a few at once
beer will be overpriced
never getting a girlfriend
being ugly
these are things to expect
why would i pay cash to jerk off later when i can jerk off now for free
Fixed.
sound logic itt
not even for a private dance or what-have-you.
Then expect hilarity.
Need some stuff designed or printed? I can help with that.
Shit, I don't have any singles. Will they have a change machine?
no, they won't have a change machine.
Stop at a gas station and get singles. Preferably the gas station right next door to the club, then give the clerk a little wink.
Need some stuff designed or printed? I can help with that.
I almost did this but opted out at the last second
the comment not the sex
write her a check
but remember
don't write a check that her ass can't cash
and after
not at the place.
and just breath heavily in the corner all by yourself
you really don't wanna sit on those toilet seats
if you really gotta pinch a loaf there, do it uick, and if the dude next to you is tapping his foot, do NOT TAP YOURS
And never look through that hole in the bathroom wall.
this is actually good advice.
Need some stuff designed or printed? I can help with that.
good way to lose an eye
When it is finished, smack said girl and say SEE, BITCH? THIS IS HOW YOU DO IT?
of all the fucking retarded business decisions
There's a little secret about strip clubs that they don't tell you - if you pay more than $50 for a lapdance, she has to at least give you a handjob and be your girlfriend for the rest of the night
no you amateur, not those lips
And remember, if you go in the champagne room, that's where they give pro bono oral (it's a tax deduction, but you have to ask)
Step 2: Call a Cab, take the Cab to the strip club
Step 3: Look, but don't touch (unless you pay extra)
Step 4: Call a Cab, take the Cab to a real bar
Step 5: Whoops, the cab driver recognized that you're drunk and he's driving you Downtown unless you give him $200.
Step 6: You don't have $200, the cabby kicks you out of the cab at the corner of Main and Higgins
Step 7: Shit, hookers everywhere, I bet they'll let you touch them.
Step 8: Oh crap, no money, and here comes the pimp!
Step 9: Bleeding out on a sidewalk in Downtown Winnipeg. Man, you really should have just bought a 24 and downloaded some premium porn.
a couple of months later, i took another girl met at a bar to the same strip club. i bought her a dollar dance from the girl i dated. i couldn't stop giggling.