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Creepy Internet Stalker
Guffrey
Registered User regular
Registered User regular
Backstory: My fiancee and I are to be married August 2nd, 2008. At the time we are both 19, but will be 20 at the time of our wedding. At the moment we are both living at home, in an effort to save money until I graduate, at which point I will be getting our apartment. We are both responsible adults who are for the most part financially independent. I did not make this thread for any lectures that we are too young or too inexperianced. Just wanted to get that out of the way.
Now for the problem. My fiancee made a "wedding website". Apparently it is something like a wedding myspace. You register your account, provide the information, and bingo. Today she recieved this email from a total stranger:
"Dude, how do you plan on getting married? Both of you still live at home, neither of you have any job skills or education to apply for a job, and presently live in a dream world where you think your in love?Your only nineteen and that's to young for a marriage committment. Get real will ya? Get prepared before you make a mistake. Move out on your own and see what it's like paying your own bills. It was an eye opener for me I can assure you. If you can't support yourself without your parents you can't support a marriage. Hope the best for both of you but you need to open your eyes and see the responsibilities of marriage before you wake up in one that teaches you them the hard way."
What bothers us is that he (or she) seems to know information that was not on the website. Namely: our ages, the fact we both live at home, and the lack of job skills or education (which is actually incorrect). Does anyone know any way that he (or she) could have recieved this information?
Now for the problem. My fiancee made a "wedding website". Apparently it is something like a wedding myspace. You register your account, provide the information, and bingo. Today she recieved this email from a total stranger:
"Dude, how do you plan on getting married? Both of you still live at home, neither of you have any job skills or education to apply for a job, and presently live in a dream world where you think your in love?Your only nineteen and that's to young for a marriage committment. Get real will ya? Get prepared before you make a mistake. Move out on your own and see what it's like paying your own bills. It was an eye opener for me I can assure you. If you can't support yourself without your parents you can't support a marriage. Hope the best for both of you but you need to open your eyes and see the responsibilities of marriage before you wake up in one that teaches you them the hard way."
What bothers us is that he (or she) seems to know information that was not on the website. Namely: our ages, the fact we both live at home, and the lack of job skills or education (which is actually incorrect). Does anyone know any way that he (or she) could have recieved this information?
Guffrey on
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If you have several friends with that problem, then I'm sorry for you.
edit: didn't see your reply. How easy is it to search for weddings on that site if you know the names of the couple?
Now with that in mind. They most likely don't know you. Sounds like they had a bad experience with marriage early on and now just feel that your heading to the same end. They don't really know. If you have any pictures up on the website, then it wouldn't take a rocket scientist to assume that you are both about 19 and live at home, since most 19 year olds live at home. Your getting married in a short enough time says your not in college, so they assume you don't have job skills.
Congratulations on the engagement. I was engaged my self till about 7 months ago (I loved her, she didn't love me). Everyone said she was too young (she was 19, I am 25). She let those things get to her. If it doesn't work out, then it doesn't work out. Just hang in there, and if you both want it to work it will. You don't need money and security to love someone. Never marry because you can afford it. Marry cause your in love and want to make it work.
Never respond to anyone who says it wont work. It feeds them. They want attention, they want to be right and will ruin it for you if you keep replying and seeking an argument with them. Don't let them be right.
At the same time, I was starting to think myself they were just assuming things. I'll give my sweetie credit, she gave a biting, yet civil reply, although Im starting to think cutting off contact will be my best bet. I'll wait and see if they respond, and barring they send something like my social security number, it shouldnt be anything to worry about. Thanks.
Let's face it: most people who would create a wedding webspace on a social networking site are in a VERY specific age group, social category, and situation in life. Someone who wanted to do something creepy (like old "Chain letters") could just scoop up the E-Mail addresses on this site, send out a mass mailing, and see who responds.
The big clue is how utterly generalized the message was (if what you showed in the OP was the totality of it). Whoever it was was trying to cast as wide a net as possible in the demographic of people who would normally use a website like that one.
Can you give us the whole E-Mail, including headers? (Feel free to blank out your own E-Mail address from the headers and content). Perhaps we can do some snooping, figure out more info.
I'd put dollars to donuts that it's a mass mailing, either to be creepy, or to try and start a conversation with anyone who answers for some malicious purpose (obtaining more personal information for example). Odds are the person has no idea who you actually are.
Though the friend situation could be another possibility... my bet's on the above theory.
Is it possible with the site you're using to "lock out" people so they only can access your page/personal info/E-Mail address if you approve them?
Whatever it is, ill-intentioned friend/relative or a malicious stranger hoping to catch someone in his mass mailing net, DO NOT respond to them.
Now, if they send a follow-up with more specific information for you, that becomes a sign that it's more than just someone phishing for information. But cross that bridge when you get there (if you have to at all.)
It could also be a random Internet Detective. I have a modest personal homepage with some little thoughts and anecdotes on it that is also my work page. One day I came into work and had a voicemail left at 5AM by a very, very angry man who had stumbled upon my page and found it so awful that he actually called me up (my work phone number was on the page) to tell me how "lame and stupid" it was and to call me a "stupid fuck." I was fairly disturbed by this for about the first 48 hours, but now it's just another amusing anecdote in my life. (In my defense, a magazine editor later stumbled across the same exact pages and paid me to write an article for him).
Odds are, it is someone you know (or someone who knows you), although it may not be a close friend or family member. If it IS someone close to you, it might be worth asking around and find out why this person is really bitter. If it's not, feh. If it's a random, just ignore it. This is a good lesson, though: anything you put on the Internet publicly is subject to public scrutiny, for better or worse.