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Uhhh, too many girls!! Help!
tuscloud311
Registered User regular
Registered User regular
Well, my situation has very differed since my last girl thread. Let me break it down for you all:
Girl A: My ex-GF. You all remember her right? I broke up with her and she moved back to Cali. I planned on going up there in 2 weeks as a small vacation for myself. My PTO at work has been approved to take a few days off. Basically go and party up there, meet some of her friends who know me....and basically get some action as well. Her and i stay in contact and we are still really good friends. It must be noted, that if i go down there to meet up with her, i will NOT be getting back together with her. She knows this....and she encourages me moving on as well. Friends with benefits basically. Very intimate benefits.
Girl B: Hahahahahahaha.....thats all i can say. You remember her too....she was the girl that works at the same place as me (not the one in the video). The one with the boyfriend? I'm sure you all remember that shit, it was epic. Anyway, she broke up with her boyfriend 2 nights ago, and wants to pursue something with me when she gets over the breakup (meaning she doesnt want to jump into a relationship with me right away.....but it will happen). Kinda funny that this all happened though, especially since what happened in THAT thread.
Girl C: Just started working here and she wanted Girl B to introduce her to me. We started talking and she asked me out on a date 2 weeks ago. Been talking off-and-on, but nothing too serious.
Now how it all falls into place! I made the arrangements to go to Cali last month. Girl A is so...SO excited to see me. Her family has canceled plans to accomodate me arriving and all kinds of things. If i bail out on her now, i will feel so low....SO horrible and would probably hate myself for a while.
Girl C...well i mean i can cancel things with her and tell her, but is there any harm in talking to her and asking if she just wants to be friends or something? Or would that be awkward? Perhaps drift apart from her?
Girl B is the girl of my dreams.....shes single and now wants to do something with me (main reason she broke it off with BF). This happened VERY unexpectedly and now could quite possibly change everything i planned weeks/months ago. However, she IS my primary focus and all other girls i really could brush aside as long as i have Girl B.
So basically, how should i approach these next few weeks? like i said before, Girl B wanted time to herself for a little, but what if she says "ok....lets start dating" BEFORE i go to Cali? What do i tell Girl C? cancel plans or what? Tell her that the girl of my dreams is now available for me and hope she understands?
tl;dr: 3 girls all want to do something with me.....but the timing is HORRIBLE. How do i solve the issues without breaking hearts or feeling like an asshole....and coming up on top?
Girl A: My ex-GF. You all remember her right? I broke up with her and she moved back to Cali. I planned on going up there in 2 weeks as a small vacation for myself. My PTO at work has been approved to take a few days off. Basically go and party up there, meet some of her friends who know me....and basically get some action as well. Her and i stay in contact and we are still really good friends. It must be noted, that if i go down there to meet up with her, i will NOT be getting back together with her. She knows this....and she encourages me moving on as well. Friends with benefits basically. Very intimate benefits.
Girl B: Hahahahahahaha.....thats all i can say. You remember her too....she was the girl that works at the same place as me (not the one in the video). The one with the boyfriend? I'm sure you all remember that shit, it was epic. Anyway, she broke up with her boyfriend 2 nights ago, and wants to pursue something with me when she gets over the breakup (meaning she doesnt want to jump into a relationship with me right away.....but it will happen). Kinda funny that this all happened though, especially since what happened in THAT thread.
Girl C: Just started working here and she wanted Girl B to introduce her to me. We started talking and she asked me out on a date 2 weeks ago. Been talking off-and-on, but nothing too serious.
Now how it all falls into place! I made the arrangements to go to Cali last month. Girl A is so...SO excited to see me. Her family has canceled plans to accomodate me arriving and all kinds of things. If i bail out on her now, i will feel so low....SO horrible and would probably hate myself for a while.
Girl C...well i mean i can cancel things with her and tell her, but is there any harm in talking to her and asking if she just wants to be friends or something? Or would that be awkward? Perhaps drift apart from her?
Girl B is the girl of my dreams.....shes single and now wants to do something with me (main reason she broke it off with BF). This happened VERY unexpectedly and now could quite possibly change everything i planned weeks/months ago. However, she IS my primary focus and all other girls i really could brush aside as long as i have Girl B.
So basically, how should i approach these next few weeks? like i said before, Girl B wanted time to herself for a little, but what if she says "ok....lets start dating" BEFORE i go to Cali? What do i tell Girl C? cancel plans or what? Tell her that the girl of my dreams is now available for me and hope she understands?
tl;dr: 3 girls all want to do something with me.....but the timing is HORRIBLE. How do i solve the issues without breaking hearts or feeling like an asshole....and coming up on top?
tuscloud311 on
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If you really want Girl B and she wants you (as indicated) then you'd be best served not dating/sleeping with girls A and C right now. Of course this also depends on how long you think Girl B is going to take to get over her breakup before wanting to date you. If you're talking days/weeks -- which it sounds like you might be -- then yeah, lay off the other girls. If you're talking months, years, or whatnot then you could probably have a casual relationship with Girl A or C (as long as girl C knows it's casual).
I mean, im leaving in 9 days to Cali...if i sleep with Girl A, head back home, and Girl B says "lets go out"...is that wrong? I mean, technically im single so i have no obligation, but i am torn on if that is "ok" to do.
other thoughts?
1.)Tell girl B you're all diggin her and shit and are willing to respect her wishes on waiting for the relationship. Spend quality time with, but let her know you had made plans to meet up with some friends that live in california for a little r and r. If she asks who, tell her a girl you dated a while ago and are friends with now, but do not include any intimate details duh.
2.) Go to CA, rail that girl silly, and enjoy your vacation.
3.)Come back, and court B until she is ready to proceed with the relationship.
Pretty sweet deal, it seems like. As long as you can keep her from finding out you went to CA to do some other chick.
IF you think you do not have the capability to conceal information from her, go to CA but keep it pants on. It would be rude to cancel on this friend and her family, but it would NOT be rude to go and have a good time without screwing her.
Oh, and forget about girl C. She was a casual relationship and I'm sure B wouldn't think less of you for pushin her to the side. Just don't be a dick to her, maybe just give her a quick little "this isn't working out for me, I'm sorry" deal.
EDIT: And the only reason it wouldn't be "ethical" is if you feel that you are already "in a relationship" with girl B. But she has made it clear that she does not want to get into a new one..So you're single, but you have an arrangement.
I would say you're worrying more then you should be - you're heading to Cali, so that means you're just going to be with girl A, right? So I wouldn't worry about that - that time you've already had planned and it sounds like you're going to be hanging out with her. I'd say she's a non-factor at this point.
As for B and C, well, if B introduced you to C, I would say there's not much to worry about - if you're planning to get some A from A, then I would hold off on any serious dating/boyfriend-girlfriend stuff until you get back. Tell B and C if they ask, that you're spending time with a friend (I would say avoid particulars if you're pressed). I wouldn't cancel any plans, even if C's relationship with you isn't that serious - but if B is wanting to explore her relationship with you further, just don't go out with C after that - at least, not as a potential suitor.
And if you have A and B offered to you while C films and you turn it down, I will lose all respect for you and hit you. ...and I don't even know you
No... but you mentioned specifically about what to do if she asked you before you went. If she isn't ready to date you before you're on vacation, then do whatever you would've otherwise. Personally if I knew that Girl B was the girl of my dreams and she wanted to date me in the near future, I'd immediately stop dating/sex with other girls, but that's a personal preference only.
Girl B doesnt want sex before marraige. Her (recent) ex-BF "forced" it upon her (yeah i know, she willingly did it) but she felt like SHIT afterward. Basically, going to Cali and meeting up with Girl A will be the last time i have sex until i marry Girl B.....so that has another high leverage on my motivation to going to Cali.
But yeah, im kind of torn right now as you guys seem to be too. Is sleeping with Girl A prior to getting with Girl B a bad idea?
Just remember that girls aren't pokemon -- you can't catch 'em all. You gotta believe that something is up with A, cos that sounds a little weird given all the crap in your previous threads you mentioned about her, but whatev.
You did say in that thread that you're a very sexual person, which might create more of a problem than you think with B, if dating her means you're celibate until you get married, IF you get married.
Just because a girl "wants" to wait for marriage doesn't mean she will. As long as you prove to be an upstanding guy, it usually will fall by the wayside after a few months. And I'm not trying to say its cool to trick nice girls into sleeping with you, but if a girl really feels you chance are she will give it up. Just don't pressure for it and let things happen organically. Unless she has some big thing against it, then you may be out of luck. But then other things may not be.
All in all, dont worry about the sex.
Yes, i am...and it sucks...bad. It gets me into a lot of trouble, but so far theres no trouble with me and Girl B. And as cliche or pathetic or whatever as it sounds....there is a pretty high chance that i propose to her in the future....and even up until then, i will control myself. She is so fucking worth it.
If so, then I don't advise heading to Cali to spend time with her at all.
Nah, her and i are cool...im tellin you, we've done this before (since the breakup, she has been down here twice and left in a good mood without being in a relationship with me.....we've talked about this before)
But thanks for the concern anyway!
You might want to think about if you're really ready to get into something with B, at whatever time that is, unless it's a good amount of time (years) down the line. You're still considering two casual relationships right now: are you ready to get into a [possibly sex-free] serious relationship, where casual sex or dates with other women won't be an option? I don't think you should lead B on (i.e. keep her on the back burner until she's ready) unless you really care about her.
That came out a bit bitchier than I intended, but I didn't see any similar thoughts in the thread. Perhaps I'm wrong, though.
If i was in your shoes Tuscloud, and was so keen on B i was thinking about the possibility of a proposal, theres no way i could have casual sex with Girl A while also kinda dating Girl C. However, those are my personal set of morals which probably dont apply very well to you.
Keeping an open mind, you're not actually in a relationship with B yet, and it doesnt sound like you are in one with C either. So your trip to Cali to get some lovin with A is clear from that angle. I'd caution against continuing anything with girl C right now though, you dont want to lead her on when you really have every intention of dropping her out of the picture as soon as B is ready. Its not very fair on C's feelings i think.
I would also caution you on the situation with A. 'Friends with Benefits' rarely works the way it is planned. Someone usually develops (or has already but keeps them hidden) stronger feelings. What happens when you start a relationship with B? Will A cause you trouble? I would be thinking that part through quite strongly. I dont recall your previous thread on A, but people in this thread have referenced she's a bit crazy hence my advice to be careful here.
I took into consideration what you guys said. I put myself in her place and if she went off with her ex moments before i asked her out, it would look like she isnt too serious about being with me. Therefore, if i went to Cali and she asks me out a little later and finds out i went (i know i wont be able to hide it from her. I work in the same place as her)....it would look really bad.
Despite the sexy pics and nice movies my ex has been sending me to persuade me to go out there, i feel like Girl B is more important and i will do everything i can to prevent making a problem out of the situation.
Also, to address the other half: "yorue single. it shouldnt matter" aspect....this is what my ex is saying. She says "i wont tell her anything, dont worry" (she stole Girl B's phone number out of my phone before i broke up with her....and calls her randomly to yell at her for some reason. i know, i know). But i dunno.....again, not worth it in my opinion.
Lastly, i told my ex about her. about her becoming single and me wanting to persue it once again, and blah blah. Told her i wanted to spend Valentine's day with Girl B, and she got pissed (and i felt like shit). She said "think about it, and tell me by thursday so i can cancel our plans, sell our tickets, and return the lingerie i got".....
soooo, IN CONCLUSION....i most likely wont go because i charish Girl B way too much. I know i would have fun with Girl A and being in Cali and doing everything she had planned with me, but....i want Girl B more than that.
A and B have drama going on so focus on C. You don't have to commit yourself to exclusivity, but check her out and see where it leads.
Do not talk to this person ever again if at all possible.
haha. yeah i know...i probably wont. Once i become "un-single"....it will be very easy to seperate myself from her. But thanks for the concern!
It sounds like you know and you're going to do what you want, but I wouldn't do it that way.
Did you read my latest big post? It is agreeing with what you said.
asfkgjsafghjkasfnsfjkahasfnhfn now this is apartment is pretty much all that's holding us together, and i'm going fucking crazy.
girls are the fucking devil. just bang as many as you can, and when your wee wee and heart get glued stick with it for a while.
trust me, girlfriends are nothing but stress and more stress. oh yea, and money.
but yeah i know. i lived with Girl A for 11 months while she had no job. Of course, i came home every day to a BJ rather than "wtf do laundry bish"...and she begged ME to play computer games...
so uhh i guess its different, lol.
For some reason I didn't read it correctly, which has turned out to be a pleasant suprise for me.
This said everything. Go with it. I didn't even bother reading the other posts.
"This is where I say something profound and you bow, so lets just skip to your part."
You wouldn't want to have your chances with girl b blown to shit because this girl a CALLS HER UP and is like "oh haiz u no me n tusc wuz dewin it"
Good luck.
Whoa, whoa, whoa. You're getting way ahead of yourself. You seriously did not just say until you marry girl B...
Don't even fucking think about marry some girl you haven't even gone out with. Get that out of your head. That's psycho shit.
Here are the facts:
You're single, aren't dating anyone at all
Girl B doesn't want a relationship right now
You have a girl (Girl A)who wants to fuck you
You have absolutely no obligation to not have sex for a girl you're not even in a committed relationship with. Go tap Girl A, have some fun, etc. When, and IF. IF, I say, because that's a huge part of this. IF girl B is ready to have a relationship, then you can start to focus on that. Don't even think about it right now. It doesn't even exist.
As for Girl C, she's shown interest in you, and there's nothing wrong with going on a date w/her to see if you hit it off. Girl B is pulling that "maybe we'll get together sometime in the future" bullshit that girls can do. They change their mind very easily. She may want that now, who knows what she'll be thinking two weeks from now. Go out and meet new people while Girl B is deciding what to do/making up her mind, etc. Don't be the guy sitting next to the phone waiting for the go ahead, because you may never get it.
Uh, yeah? I think you're a retard. If you gave a shit about any of them you wouldn't try to fuck ALL OF THEM and then worry about getting away with it. Shit, if you actually cared that much about B the thought wouldn't even enter your mind.
i would re-read everything in this thread if you havent already. But thanks for the retard compliment!
Yeah i agree which is why i added additional information. There is a VERY large history behind her (and it all stems from these forums). Basically an inside joke. I wouldnt leave out crucial information and assume that every reader knows what im saying. Was there anything i left out to cause you to question what is going on? I thought i was giving all the info i needed. Sorry if i didnt!
People in this thread do have the right idea, but my personal advice is to involve absolutely no deceit. If you go to CA to bang some girl, don't unnecessarily conceal that from someone, particularly if you end up in a relationship with B. Even if you are never explicitly asked, if you come forward to B, then go knock boots with A, I would consider that pretty low-down depending on the response you get from B.
Come forward to B, tell her how you feel, and take it from there.