Help me change myself for the better

Zombies Tossed My Salad!

So, I'm not a very responsible person. I tend to pass of work and procrastinate on things. There are other smaller problems but they all seem to stem from me being not responsible. I pretty much hate my self for these failings and want to change. I was called an ungrateful disappointment by my mother today and that was really the last straw.

I hate myself H/A, help me change?

DirtyDirtyVagrant

Have you tried talking to a psycholo(iat)glist(rist)?

Zombies Tossed My Salad!

No. I don't have the money to go to one.

I live at home, make minimum wage, and go to community college. That gives you some idea of my financial situation.

Cryogen

For the procrastination/focus, what works for me is keeping a diary. Personally i only use it at work, but you can just as easily use it to help your whole life.

First thing in the morning you simply write in the diary a list of things you expect to acheive that day. As you complete them, you cross them off. Its very important you cross them off and not just leave them on the list. As you cross of each item, you can see at a glance what else you have left to do and prioritize the next most important thing, and set about doing it right away.

I found this really helped as it gave me a list to work through, and stopped me from just sitting around thinking about what was next. Its also a good habit to get into as generally, as your career advances you'll have more and more things to keep track of, and keeping a good diary simplifies things immensely.

The passing off work thing i cant help you with, i've never had that problem myself.

splash

I hope this makes sense and helps in any small way. I've needed to improve myself in a few areas and if you have trouble with motivation like I did then I can suggest to focus on doing the right actions/behaviors first, whatever it may be and no matter how unexciting it is, because eventually your mind/body will catch up and start to want to maintain these new (good) habits.

In addition, one way to be more responsible is to be more accountable to yourself with another person. A mentor relationship can provide this. I've had a couple mentors (one a boss and one a good friend) that have helped me significantly.

starmanbrand

You already accept that you have problems. That is half the battle.

The next half? When you see yourself making these choices or about to, do not.

It sounds simple, but really. You've already done the hard part in accepting that these are flaws.

histronic

I had the same problem as you. I spent my entire high school career floating by, putting off work until the last minute and being satisfied with my subpar work because it still got me good grades. After I graduated and went to college, I tried doing the same thing, however, and began getting significantly worse grades. It got so bad that I was put on academic probation. I realized I needed to change, and it was a slow process, but it happened. My best piece of advice is, as Cryogen said, keep a diary or something. I got a planner for school this year and have already tremendously improved at making sure to do my work. I just write down everything I want to accomplish each day, and then follow through on it, crossing them off as I go through with it. Of course with this you also need the willpower to go through with performing the tasks on your list, but it sounds like you (just like me) really want to change so I'm sure you won't have any problems with it.

Zombies Tossed My Salad!

histronic wrote: »

I had the same problem as you. I spent my entire high school career floating by, putting off work until the last minute and being satisfied with my subpar work because it still got me good grades. After I graduated and went to college, I tried doing the same thing, however, and began getting significantly worse grades. It got so bad that I was put on academic probation. I realized I needed to change, and it was a slow process, but it happened. My best piece of advice is, as Cryogen said, keep a diary or something. I got a planner for school this year and have already tremendously improved at making sure to do my work. I just write down everything I want to accomplish each day, and then follow through on it, crossing them off as I go through with it. Of course with this you also need the willpower to go through with performing the tasks on your list, but it sounds like you (just like me) really want to change so I'm sure you won't have any problems with it.

This is pretty much exactly my problem. Thanks for the advice