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[OOC]Warhammer 40,000: Dark Heresy: Filth of Caldera Hive Sign-Ups
LibrarianThorne
Registered User regular
Registered User regular
Title needs more colons, I know.
So, what is this?
How Will I Run?
I'm not really a huge fan of encounter maps, even though the main book encourages it. Combat will be filled with written descriptions and ranges will be given, but for things like cover I generally assume that a PC is smart enough to find some (barring running into the middle of a bullet filled hallway, but I leave that call to the player). I will have, however, a larger focus on roleplay. If players want a more combat intensive game, well, there's the tabletop wargame for that.
So, What's This Caldera Hive business?
Caldera Hive is the setting for this campaign. Capital Hive of a major forge world in the Segmentum Pacificus, increased cult activity has led to the involvement of Inquisitor Belthial of the Ordo Hereticus. The hive itself is typical of other Imperial hives, but taken to an extreme. Millions live on the surface of the hive, and it is the right of these lucky nobles to enjoy the full sunlight of the system's native star. In the middle levels lie craftsmen, techno-artificers, merchants, and two major temples, one of the Ecclesiarchy dedicated to the God-Emperor in all his glory and beneficence. The other is owned and operated by the Adeptus Mechanicus, a great forge-church built on the site of a partially recovered STC. In the lower Hive, bereft of all sunlight, dwell the workers of the enormous cathedral-manufactorums that dot the structure of the Hive. Here, life in the hab blocks is boring, banal, and all too often, very short. The underhive is ruled by internicene gang warfare and a growing discontent with the nobility and, some whisper, the Imperium itself.
How Can I Join?
Signups will start today (2/10/08) and end at 12AMEST on 2/24/08. In addition, a maximum of six players is allowed. I'd handle more, but I've discovered that, for a normal session, six is about the limit of what I can handle and handle well.
Da List of Zoggin' 'Umies wot wants ter be in mah game:
Norgoth- Arbitrator Cain Regis
zerg rush- Nameless Assassin
Asher- Guardsman Zek Strang
Mr_Rose- Tech-Adept Absolom Xerxes
Wildcat- Adept Meghera Oktrine
Asmodai_00- Psyker Damak Garvel
So, what is this?
How Will I Run?
I'm not really a huge fan of encounter maps, even though the main book encourages it. Combat will be filled with written descriptions and ranges will be given, but for things like cover I generally assume that a PC is smart enough to find some (barring running into the middle of a bullet filled hallway, but I leave that call to the player). I will have, however, a larger focus on roleplay. If players want a more combat intensive game, well, there's the tabletop wargame for that.
So, What's This Caldera Hive business?
Caldera Hive is the setting for this campaign. Capital Hive of a major forge world in the Segmentum Pacificus, increased cult activity has led to the involvement of Inquisitor Belthial of the Ordo Hereticus. The hive itself is typical of other Imperial hives, but taken to an extreme. Millions live on the surface of the hive, and it is the right of these lucky nobles to enjoy the full sunlight of the system's native star. In the middle levels lie craftsmen, techno-artificers, merchants, and two major temples, one of the Ecclesiarchy dedicated to the God-Emperor in all his glory and beneficence. The other is owned and operated by the Adeptus Mechanicus, a great forge-church built on the site of a partially recovered STC. In the lower Hive, bereft of all sunlight, dwell the workers of the enormous cathedral-manufactorums that dot the structure of the Hive. Here, life in the hab blocks is boring, banal, and all too often, very short. The underhive is ruled by internicene gang warfare and a growing discontent with the nobility and, some whisper, the Imperium itself.
How Can I Join?
Signups will start today (2/10/08) and end at 12AMEST on 2/24/08. In addition, a maximum of six players is allowed. I'd handle more, but I've discovered that, for a normal session, six is about the limit of what I can handle and handle well.
Da List of Zoggin' 'Umies wot wants ter be in mah game:
Norgoth- Arbitrator Cain Regis
zerg rush- Nameless Assassin
Asher- Guardsman Zek Strang
Mr_Rose- Tech-Adept Absolom Xerxes
Wildcat- Adept Meghera Oktrine
Asmodai_00- Psyker Damak Garvel
LibrarianThorne on
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Posts
NTM I'm running Changeling too. Shame.
You have no idea.
Anyways, is this PbP, or live chat? If it's PbP I'll see if I can dredge a copy out from the local shops and join in, otherwise I'm helpless in the face of my scheduling.
As for character concept, assuming you'd take me, I have my heart set on a good and honest servant of the emperor. Someone who hates heretics (though probably hasn't ever seen a real one), and whose greatest fear is for dying with duty undone. An arbitrator fresh from the Schola Progenium would fit in best with this mold, although a cleric working in His Holy Ecclesiarchy would do dandy as well.
Edit: Probably an Imperial worlder, and probably with my starting 400 exp, pistol traning (las and SP) one BS increase and rapid reload, and taking quick draw, the mesh vest and the lho sticks were options apply with the starting skills.
Hopefully I can get a pair of stub automatics and pick up two weapon fighter (ballistic) at third rank.
Nintendo Network ID: AzraelRose
DropBox invite link - get 500MB extra free.
For stats, roll them out and then post your results and the website/program you used to roll your dice.
For Careers, you don't have to roll. Simply pick one. My rule for both this and WFRP is that, unless a class grants significant in game bonuses (I'm looking at you, Noble) then a player can just pick a class and go.
The game will start, most likely, a couple of days after the end of sign-ups. I'll be posting and updating the OP with people who are for sure in the game.
Oh, and to those who don't have the book, you can get it for like $26 on Amazon. Now, shoo, go buy it.
Imperial World Arbitratior
Skin: Fair Hair:Brown (strands of grey) Eyes: Green
Quirk:Aquilla tatoo
Stats:-
WS(30)
BS(36)-Includes advancment
S (27)
T (32)
Ag (31)
Int (31)
Per (38)
Wp(33)-includes imperial bonus
Fel(36)
11 wounds
2 Fate
67 Throne gelt
Invisable castle rolls
Perception re-reoll
Divination: Only the insane have the strength enough to prosper. Only those who prosper can judge who is sane. +2 insanity points
Starting skills:Speak language (low gothic, int) Literacy (int) Common lore (Adaptus Arbites, int) Common lore (Imperium, int) Inquiry (fel).
Starting Talents: Basic weapons training (SP). Melee weapon training (Primitive) Quick Draw. Stud Revolver, 12 Bullets, club, brass knuckles, Knife, Mesh Vest, Uniform, 3 doses of stimm, Arbitrator ID, Chrono, Pack of Lho sticks.
Advances. Pistol Training (SP), Pistol Training (las), Rapid reload. Ballistic Skill simple.
Bio: Born on the world Esteres, and large world in the segmentum pacificus run by the Adminustorium, Cain joined the Arbitratiors as soon as he was old enough. Quickly he showed promise and skill, graduating with honors, and quickly showing his skill in the field, Cain began a long and successful career in the Arbites. After more than fifteen years service Cain was discharged after a corruption case involving adminustorim officals collapsed. Blamed, and accused of presenting false allegations on purpose, he was sentenced to death. Rather than face the firing squad, Cain simply vanished from the planet, his name was struck from the books, and the Arbites force on Esteres just continued as normal. A savior had been found in the form of an inquisitor, who left him on a strange planet, and told him to wait.
Cian is a fairly tall man, averagely built and with a brazen posture. He joined the arbites at sixteen and is now thirty four, his dark brown hair has patches of grey and although fairly young, he appears older than he is. The life of an acolyte appeals to Cain, he can bring justice to those who defy the emperor, but has far more freedom to act than he did as an Arbitrator. Thanks to his inquisitor Cain still technically holds Arbitrator status, although his original force claims no knowledge of him. Always suspect of other Arbitrators, he believes that corruption is rife within the force. If this is true or not is unknown, but some within the force conspired to have the Adminustorium case collapse, or at least Cain believes so.
I've decided on a feral world Assassin, who has a nack for getting into and out of places unseen while gathering evidence in service of the inquisition
BS 2d10+20 → [9,8,20] = (37)
S 2d10+20 → [10,7,20] = 37 +5 Feral +3 Divination = (45)
T 2d10+20 → [6,7,20] = 33 + 5 Feral = (38)
Ag 2d10+20 → [9,5,20] = (34)
Int 2d10+20 → [7,2,20] = (29)
Per 2d10+20 → [1,5,20] = 26 -> Reroll = (27)
Wp 2d10+20 → [6,5,20] = 31 - 5 Feral = (26)
Fel 2d10+20 → [2,5,20] = 27 - 5 Feral = (22)
2d10+20 → [4,3,20] = (27) 10th die roll is the reroll, which would go to perception.
Invisible Castle
Although I was initially hoping for an Arbite or Cleric, an imperial Assassin is always useful to have around. Someone who can shadow cultists to their hideouts, pick locks into closed files, remain unseen while observing their nefarious rites, and take the shot when the leader presents himself.
1 Fate point
12 Wounds
Starting Geld: 135
Imperial Divination: "Thought begets Heresy; Heresy begets Retribution." (+3 S)
Starting skills: Speak Language (Low Gothic) (Int), Awareness (Per), Dodge (Agi), Speak Language (Tribal Dialect) (Int)
Starting Traits: Iron Stomach (+10 ingesting food), Primitive (-10 tech use, -10 fel in formal surroundings), Rite of Passage (staunch blood), [Navigation (Surface) (Int), Survival (Int), Tracking (Int)] all count as basic skills
Starting Talents: Melee Weapon Training (Primitive), Ambidextrous, Pistol Training (Las), Basic Weapon Training (SP), Pistol Training (SP)
Starting Gear: Hunting Rifle and 16 rounds, sword, knife, compact las pistol and 1 charge pack, 3 doses of stimm, charm (corpse hair), black bodyglove (common quality clothing)
Silent Move
Simple Ballistic Skill Advance (+5)
Simple Agility Advance (+5)
Climb (I don't know why I picked this. It just feels like something my character would be fond of)
Gear: Backpack (10), Drop Harness (25), Respirator/Gas Mask (25), Stummer (25), Microbead (20), Grapnel (30)
I'll edit in the fluff here later; I'm still going over my exact character concept.
I have one thing I'm curious about the advancement scheme. Once you've advanced a rank, can you still purchase skills and talents available in your previous ranks? For example, assassin has inquiry at the sell-steel (first) rank, and no other rank has that ability. If I miss getting it there have I just missed out on it, or can I buy that skill any time up until I'm a Assassin Palatine (final assassin rank)?
Zek Strang
Feral Worlder
Guardsman
Decription: Strapping Height: 2.1m Weight: 120kg
Age: 20 (Warrior) Skin: Ruddy Hair: Blond Eyes: Brown
Quirk: Thick Jaw.
Tribal Taboos: Lonly Death - never utter the names of the Dead, lest you summon them back from the Warp.
WS: 40 (Rerolled and Advance)
BS: 35 (Includes Advance)
S: 34 (Inc Divination bonus)
T: 35
Ag: 34
Int: 32
Per: 35
WP: 27
Fel: 26
Wounds: 14
Fate Points: 2
Throne Gelt: 78
Monthly Income: 50
Divination: "Even a man who has nothing can still offer his life" +2 S
Traits:
Iron Stomach: +10 to Carouse Skill tests to resist toxins etc.
Primitive: -10 to Tech Use and Fellowship in civilized environs.
Rite of Passage: May make intelligence test to staunch Blood Loss as full action
Wilderness Savy: Navigation (Surface), Survival and tracking count as basic skills.
Skills:
Speak Language (Low Gothic)
Speak Language (Tribe Dialect)
Swim
Awareness (Advance)
Talants:
Melee Weapon Training (Primitive)
Pistol Training (Las)
Pistol Training (SP) (Advance)
Basic Weapon Training (Las)
Basic Weapon Training (SP)
Gear:
Sword, Las-Pistol with 1 charge pack, Lasgun with 1 charge pack, Shotgun with 12 shells, Knife, Guard Flak Armour, 1 week corpse starch rations, Imperial Infantryman's Uplifting Primer
Free advances:
Awareness
Pistol Training (SP)
WS Advance (Simple)
BS advance (Simple)
Bio and Personality:
Like many other young Warriors from his tribe, Zek lived for nothing more than the thrill of battle and the taking of scalps to bring the honour of the Sky Emperor to his Clan. Since his coming of age, he quickly cemented himself as chieftain material, leading daring raids against other clans, cutting down many other warriors with his blade. Then the sky fell. Huge mountains of metal descending from the heavens into the Basin Plains. Before this, Zek had no concept of the universe. There was his Clan, and there were other Clans and they fought for Honour, Territory, Women and Goats. Now, as he approached these new mountains of metal, a man, not from any clan he recognised, but as tall Zek himself, though clad in a strange black material stepped forward and addressed the curious warriors. He told them that their battles had impressed the Sky Emperor, and they had been chosen to serve Him and bring death to His enemies. Zek had no second thoughts.
He soon discovered that the cream of the crop of young warriors had been taken, not just from his clan but from all Clans, even the ones old Kar talked about across the southern ocean, that Zek had only heard tales of. While they were initially hostile to one another, it soon became apparent that despite their differences, they were much more similar than anything surrounding him in this strange "Star Ship" that was to carry them beyond the heavens and fight for the honour of the Sky Emperor. Quickly taking to the new weapons of war, the Clansmen were quickly forged into the Suoh 3rd Clan-Rifles. Far from his home, Zek felt no sorrow or regret. He was surrounded by fellow warriors, and had been selected for the greatest honour a clansman could obtain.
Zek is a brash and bold young warrior, who never shirks from danger. Still carrying his ancestral Suohi blades, his first instinct is to strike with them, rather than one of the strange weapons the Sky-Emperor has gifted him. Vastly ignorant about the universe as a whole, Zek generally waits to be told what to do before acting. However, he will let no slight pass, and will never turn down a challenge, to do so would dishonour him in the Eyes of the Sky Emperor. Neither particularly trusting nor suspicious, Zek hates dealing with social niceties and other "Games". If everyone spoke as they meant, he feels that the universe would be a better place. He is strongly devout, and entirely devoted to the Emperor, though in his own primitive way. His rituals and prayers would not be recognised by any other than his Clansmen, but they are heartfelt, and any that would question his faith had best beware.
WS and BS
S and T
[URL="Link http://invisiblecastle.com/roller/view/1488161/"]Ag, Int and Per[/URL]
WP and Fel
Wounds
Fate Points
Starting Wealth
WS reroll
I think thats everything. There's his bio.
Nintendo Network ID: AzraelRose
DropBox invite link - get 500MB extra free.
Curious, how are fate points going to work with play by post? The game mentions they're restored at the start of each gaming session, but sessions don't really start or stop online.
I'll work out the character and reply sometime tomorrow.
Not really. 'traitors are investigative/short range shooty characters. Inquiry can help with finding stuff and people, while shotguns can also be very persuasive. Your assassin is more about the sneaking and hiding, but still capable of shooting people. Zek is undeniably combat based though. Fairly tough, and with 5 different weapons, he's capable of handling himself in pretty much any form of combat.
The next 2 prospective characters, a Tech-Adept and a psyker aren't nearly so combat oriented either.
Edit: Question should we need to worry about things like provisions, room accommodations, flashlights, lighters, etc. or are we assumed to handle (or have those things handled for us by Inquisitorial agents) automatically?
I'm sure that Zek can be convinced to wear a suit and leave most of his weapons at home, and just loiter in the background looking like bodyguard material.
And to follow on from your question, how much authorisation do we get as inquisitorial agents? Do we get a seal and everything? Or do we just have authorisation codes or similar? I like the idea of having a badge or something we can flash as proof of the fact that our orders come from "on high".
Afterall, the safest way to do a thing is to do it without being seen.
Yeah I intend to pick up inquiry, security and the like, I also get access to the "peer" traits which give me bonuses when dealing with certain crowds.
Edit: Would it be acceptable to swap my starting shotgun and 12 shells, for a stub revolver with 12 bullets?
zerg rush: Fate Points will refresh daily. I'll be operating the game pretty much on a day/night cycle (to help keep track of time, mainly) so after the party rests, basically, fate points will refresh.
All: basic equipment can assume to be provided. Flashlights, food, stuff like that. Now, suits fine enough to wear to a ball, or cultist robes will not, necessarily, be made available by your Inquisitor.
Also, you will not recieve an Inquisitorial seal for this mission. Your Inquisitor wants things done quietly and, given the status the Adeptus Mechanicus holds Caldera Hive in, wants any Inquisitorial intervention played low-key. Knowledge of heretical cults or even worse, insurreciton, on a planet where an STC was recovered is tantamount to the greatest sacrilege that can be accused. There are of course other reasons, but those will be made apparent once I've got the Inquisitor's briefing worked out.
First batch of stats (missing the void-born oddities):
WS 2d10 20=37
BS 2d10 20=30
T 2d10 20=34 +5 (S.adv) 39
Ag 2d10 20=37
Int 2d10 20=26 Re-roll: 31 +5 (S.adv) 36
Per 2d10 20=35 +2 (see divination) 37
Fel 2d10 20=25
The rest:
S 2d10 15=28
WP 2d10 25=31
Wounds 1d5 6=7
FP 1d10=4 = 2 Fate Points
Money 1d10 150=155
Re-roll Int because wha?Int re-roll (2d10 20=31)
Imperial Divination:
(1d100=22) = "Know the Mutant, Kill the Mutant" +2 Per
Starting Skills, Talents, Traits, Gear:
(As book; Void-Born, Tech-Priest), Trade (Copyist)(Int)
Starting advances:
Simple T advance, Simple Int advance, Light Sleeper, Feedback Screech. (100 XP ea.)
Nintendo Network ID: AzraelRose
DropBox invite link - get 500MB extra free.
Nintendo Network ID: AzraelRose
DropBox invite link - get 500MB extra free.
WS 32
BS 25 plus Divination result = 28
S 34
T 29
Ag 36
Int 25 Reroll = 35
Per 26 + advance of 5 = 31
WP 30 +3 Imperial World modifier = 33
Fel 29
IC rolls here, reroll here.
The homeworld roll was Imperial World. Career Path was rolled as Assassin, but as I see we already have one I'd not be averse to picking Adept or Tech-priest, if that's permissible. EDIT: ah, tech-priest is spoken for too. Adept then?
As for character name, errrrr ... Meghera Oktrine. Female, dontchaknow.
Build = 71 = fit.
Handedness = 5 = right.
Age = 22 = stripling (roll of 2 +20 = 22 actual age too)
Colouration = ruddy, with black hair and green eyes.
Homeworld type = agriworld.
Divination = 60 (roll here) = The gun is mightier than the sword. BS +3
Wounds = 5 (IC roll)
FPs = 4 (IC roll - I think I may have used 'Wildcat' instead of Meghera, but its still me)
Money = 105 (IC roll)
Starting advances:
Perception Advance Simple =5 (therefore Per = 31)
Drive (Ground Vehicle)
Sprint
Sound Constitution
My original offline rolls =
WS 30
BS 38
T 33
Ag 33
Int 32
Per 38
WP 24 = re-rolled = 30 Edit: plus Imperial World +3 = 33
Fel 37
Divination: 68 = Man must die so that Man must live.
Now, as to what this here thread will be until the game starts: mostly I want to go over character backgrounds and set up the campaign a bit. Everyone needs to give me character history and I mean real stories. Format and length can be however long you want, and should be posted in this thread. Exceptionally good stories will net their players an additional 100XP.
Now, for my part I'll be giving out information on the Inquisitor all of you serve and information about the Caltorbin sector and, specifically, the world Mechanicus0043 which is hte world that Caldera Hive rests upon.
First up, the Inquisitor:
Inquisitor Pheldrin, Ordo Hereticus
Pheldrin was, some say, a low-level scribe working for the vast and bloated administratum. The record says that Pheldrin was a dutiful, if not particularly interesting, Adept and any contact with the Inquisition would have been by mere chance. The record, however, does not have access to files sealed centuries ago on the word of Inquisitor Zex, a high-ranking member of the Ordo in the Segmentum Pacificus. What is known is that Pheldrin began his Inquisitorial service as a member of Zex's retinue, and here he displayed heretofore unknown talents at negotiation, problem solving, and the wisdom to run from an unwinnable fight. Though many other members of Zex's retinue met with untimely ends, Pheldrin proved himself a survivor. Interested most in the power that the Inquisition held over the other factions of the Imperium, Pheldrin climbed within his master's esteem very quickly. Finally, after surviving an encounter with the implacable Necrons on the now excommunicate world of Henson-5, Pheldrin was initiated into the ranks of the Inquisition.
Though a member of the Conclave of Har, Pheldrin does not pursue the Tyranid menace as does his compatriots, instead focusing his efforts on controlling the flow of information about the monstrosities. Pheldrin lives by the ages-old creed that what a citizen does not know cannot harm it, and seeks to prevent knowledge of the vast devastation wrought by the Hive Fleets from becoming more common than it already is. Pheldrin is seen as a radical by members of other Ordos, particulalry the Ordo Xenos, for his willingness to work with the alien against the threat of the Tyranids. In the realm of intergalactic negotiation, Pheldrin has truly found a home. Some of his fellows whisper that it was sly Pheldrin who orchestrated the Craftworld Iyanden's intervention upon Hive Fleet Gigantum in the Thorin Segmentum. Others laugh derisively at Pheldrin's attempts to push the Arch-Arsonist of Charadon to wage a great WAAAGH! against the monsters in the unknown dark. Through all of these dealings though, one thing has become clear: Pheldrin is not above using the enemies of the Imperium against one another. What this costs his soul is known only to a few, but that the Conclave of Har has withstood repeated complaints from the Ordo Xenos about Pheldrin's actions speak volumes.
Acolytes of Pheldrin seldom have contact with their master. Often the Inquisitor is within a warp bubble traveling thousands of lightyears to meet whatever shady agent he must to accomplish his goals. On the other hand, Pheldrin's travels have given him access to a wider field of support than many other Inquisitors, and it is not uncommon for him to bring humans of entirely different Segmentums together against a common threat. Pheldrin usually attempts to accomodate his acolytes as well as he can without drawing too much attention to himself or his actions, but once a mission is underway he mandates near total silence from his teams. Repeated contacts with the Inquisitor are a very good way to turn him against a group of acolytes, as he will begin to see them as little better than mewling infants.
WS 23
BS 32
S 27
T 41
AG 27
INT 27
PER 39
WP 41
FEL 26
Orginal Roll
Re-Roll for WP
Sanctioning Side Effect: Dental Probes
Wounds: 8
Fate points: 3
Gelt: 54
Divination: +3 perception
Exp Spent:
100 For Minor Psychic Power:
100 For Perception Bonus +5
100 For Meditation
100 For Forbidden Lore (Warp)
Starting Skills:
Speak Language (Low Gothic)
Psyniscience
Invocation
Trade (Merchant)
Literacy
Starting Talents:
Melee Weapon Training (Primitive)
Pistol Weapon Training (Las)
Psy Rating 1
Starting Gear:
Sword
Staff
Compact Las Pistol and 1 charge pack
Knife (psykana mercy blade)
Quilted Vest
Tatty Robe (Poor)
Book of Imperial Saints
Psy-Focus
Sanctioning Brand
Minor Psychic Powers:
Healer
Spasm
Weaken Veil
Damak Garvel was born on a backwater cargo ship in an obscure system in the middle of nowhere. His childhood was marred by the fact he found a strange ability to pick apart his classmates and friends. He could focus on their well being and state of mind, catching many maladies and lies that hid from others.
The local psyker on board his ship noted his latent abilities. Before he knew what was happening, he was aboard a Black Ship heading to Holy Terra. Not much can be remembered of the soul binding ritual and the Sanctioning afterwards, but it is remembered that it was at this time where Damak lost all of his teeth. Thankfully he was issued a set of dentures before being assigned to the Imperial Navy; ironically in the very same role as the psyker who found him in his childhood.
It was during his service in the Navy that he came to the attention of Inquisitor Pheldrin. When his ship was drafted into the Inquisitor's convoy, Damak was assigned to digging out emerging psykers before they became a threat to the crew.
Petty Officer Eli Cutter was dining in the mess hall unaware of the power bubbling inside of him. For reasons still unknown (or classified), his powers began to manifest, raising the temperature of the hall only a few degrees at first. This caught Damak's attention, and following the taste of the Immaterium, arrived in the hall just in time for the crew surrounding the Petty Officer to burst into flames. Realizing the danger an unbound psyker can pose, Damak released his own power and augmented it by firing his pistol. After several tense and frightening minutes of battle, Eli lay dead on the floor surrounded by over a dozen dead and smoking crew.
Due to his bravery and ability to sense the danger before it started, Inquisitor Pheldrin pulled Damak from the Navy and added him to his service. Many speculate that the Inquisitor needed someone to monitor psychic powers during negotiations, but others suggested he needed someone to rip stubborn diplomats apart. The true reason is still unknown, but Damak has yet to prove himself.
It's rather difficult attempting to conceive of a convincing writing style for stupid characters. I may need to abandon my attempts at first person.