Dialogue is, alongside layout, the hardest part of scripting for me.
So now if I want to try something out I come up with an issue plan, then add in bit piece by piece until it all comes together, rather than writing it from beginning to end. That way you can play around with little bits and know how much dialogue space you have etc.
I actually had an idea for a setting for a comic I'd want to write sometime when I am not in the middle of a move and a script for Juan Chupacbra
Basically, the setting is Limbo.
It's a world where only the Amish were right. So, only Amish people go to heaven. But, there is no hell. Only Limbo.
Which is pretty much Earth, but endless, and everyone who ever died that wasn't Amish is there. Also,o obviously people can't die. You don't need money or anything. It is the suburbs. Depending on when you die, it might be a little more or a little less ahead of the times than Earth is currently, because it is in perpetual motion just like Earth IE: there is nothing there that hasn't been invented yet, and unless someone makes it, you won't have it.
Sometimes, you just gotta wait for either Tesla or Edison to die if you want electricity.
Furtheremore, every superhero and supervillain that has ever died is there.
It would be a slice of life kind of series, but instead of focusing on heroes it would be on villains.
Because, seriously, in a world where there is really no point to supervillainy, how do you adjust?
I mean, you can't kill anyone. Robbing a bank or becoming supreme dictator won't really do much in the long run.
What the fuck are you supposed to do?
Would it be a punishment, a chance to do turn a new leaf, a way to work through whatever horrific origin event created you?
The stories are kinda boundless.
And the real reason I kinda dig this idea is it'd be a complete 180 of anything I've written before.
Nothing over the top can happen because why would it
You're right, though, yours is better. If it wasn't for the fact that I already have one mildly literary superhero script stalled out right now I'd totally steal your idea and make a gajillion dollars.
So I have a good idea down for a Vigilants issue. It'll be the first issue and I have been doing some more work on the layout, dialogue etc, plus I have the character designs sorted. The inspirations for the Vigilants are books like Ultimate Comics Spider-Man, Invincible and Dynamo 5, modern superhero stories which try and evoke a sort of silver age feel and aren't dark but rather adventurous, with a focus on superhero antics and character-based stories. So hopefully this first issue will set up a fun villain who can be used in the future again, introduce the team and also create a sense of mystery as to who is watching the Vigilants, and why.
Anyway, Chrome (A metallurgist named Aldus Hansman, whose body was transformed into a unique, super-hard alloy during a lab accident which also removes his ability to feel sensations such as taste and touch and gives him a super-fast, computer brain. Being denied physical sensations ahs driven him mad and now he seeks to replace organic, feeling humans with cold machine constructs like himself) has attacked the Statue of Liberty, wanting to use it's exposed metallic mass as a projection device to unleash an energy wave that could destroy the city. Chrome considers it highly amusing that the organics' symbol of freedom will be used to bring about their downfall!!!
The Vigilants turn up to try and stop Chrome and are faced with his legions of robotic minions. Fighting through them they try and rescue the hostages which Chrome has taken as well as stopping him from using his device, which is wired into the inside of the statue. As this will probably be the first issue we get to see the heroes in action, introduce their powers and characters. Eventually they manage to win but Chrome escapes into the bay, and the Vigilants have to leave due to the arrival of the law (in this setting, vigilante superheroes are not legally accepted by the government, though they have widespread public support and cops tend not to try to hard to catch them).
Before they leave however, the team notice that a number of sensors have been placed in the statue and surrounding area, and not by Chrome. The sensors are transmitting but to an unknown destination and they shut down when they are discovered. Taking a few for study, the team head back to base. Once there they relax after their fight, and we get to see more of the characters behind the masks as it were. Looking at the devices it is clear that they are high-tech pieces manufactured by a small company nearby, and that they will check this out later on. On heading home, one of the team gets inside to find someone waiting for her! It's a man, who looks beaten and injured, and as the issue ends he tells her that he has information for her about the sensors, he knows that she is a superhero, and he desperately needs her help!
If anyone has any advice that would be great, plus if anyone wants to tell me that it is terrible feel free! It's a learning process and one where criticism would really help, so thanks in advance guys! One thing I am thinking of doing is setting this game in a fictional city and using some other landmark of my own design rather than the Statue of Liberty. I say this because I think that kind of created city really fits with the feel I am trying to go for and allows me to do stuff which I don't then have to link in with actual real landmarks.
My main advice would be to tie Chrome's conflict into the larger story. He's essentially a machine that used to be a man, and can't deal with it. That's a pretty neat idea. When I plotted out my Ted Kord epic that DC will never let me do, that's kind of what I latched onto with the villain Carapax. The idea of how terrible it must be for this guy who used to know what taste, smell, and touch were, to no longer be able to experience it.
I think that's the core of your story. Here's how I'd break it down, without knowing anything else about your idea or story, but what you've said.
Act 1: Story opens on Chrome standing in the Statue of Liberty, a pile of beaten S.W.A.T. Team officers laying beaten and bloodied. Chrome begins proselytizing to the only one that's still semi-conscious, telling him his master plan. That gives you a convenient way to do your exposition. The S.W.A.T. officer incoherently mumbles about how much pain they're in, setting Chrome off. He goes on to start screaming at the injured officer about how lucky they are to even be able to feel pain, grabs them by the throat, and begins to throttle the life out of them. Then the heroes show up.
In a few pages you've set up your villain's plan, his motivations, explained his conflict, started out with a tense action beat as he strangles the hapless S.W.A.T. officer, and established a real need for your heroes to intervene.
Act 2: The big fight scene. You can do a little exposition on your heroes here, showing them using their powers and such. Is one member protective/in love with another? You can show that through their actions. Does one hate another one? You can show that. I'd have the fight ramp up, with Chrome disabling all the heroes but one, through use of his super-brain. The one remaining hero dukes it out with him, Chrome still screaming about how unfortunate his lot in life is. The remaining hero tells him to basically quit whining, fights him to a standstill, and Chrome escapes/gets smacked into the bay.
Act 3: The heroes stir/escape from whatever it was Chrome used to incapacitate them. They're all congratulating each other on a job well done, when the S.W.A.T. officer they saved raises a gun on them, before ultimately telling them to just go, after a tense moment. Again, this is just a little exposition to show that police don't really mind the heroes, in your world. The heroes all go back to their secret base, and we get a page or two of everyone talking about how crazy it was that the one hero who managed to fight back, pretty much saved everyone's bacon. The hero laughs it off, saying it was nothing, before excusing themselves to their room. They stand in front of a mirror, their own reflection staring back, before they push a button on their watch/necklace/earlobe, and a hologram that had been covering them melts away, revealing them as a nearly-featureless android. Insert a one-panel flashback of the hero fighting Chrome, who was yelling something at the time about how lucky the hero is to be human.
Hero turns their hologram projector back on, remarking something that's either sad/cocky/hopeful, depending on what kind of story you want to tell.
Again, this is without knowing anything about your story, your world, or your characters. But it's pretty much the most straight-forward way I can think of, to give meaning to the heroes' fight with Chrome, and make it about something. Without emotional nuance, or a real point, your audience won't connect with your story. That subtext is what makes a story a story, rather than just a bunch of things happening in sequence.
That's a cool idea Munch, with the android hero, I really like that. I don't have an android hero planned for the team but I do have something which is kind of similar, so maybe that could work in a different way, I'll think about it. Cool thought though.
The big fight is definately where I'm going to be introducing the characters and their relations between each other, I think there's a lot you can get across in the tension of a fight scene that doesn't work as well through a regular conversation. really the focus of the story I have planned is what it's like to be in a superhero team together, how a group of often very disparate people (some of whom aren't even human beings!) can come together to trust and rely on each other against massive odds.
But yeah your idea does create an emotional connection maybe mine is missing. I'll try and turn things around a bit, see if I can put that connection in there. One of my characters is a super-genius, maybe something which builds on her ideas of science being used to help humanity, not harm it? Chrome's minions are works of engineering genius after all, but they are being used against mankind, and she could be a good counter-point to that. Maybe she had even met the guy beforehand and is shocked at what he has become. Just some thoughts.
But yeah your idea does create an emotional connection maybe mine is missing. I'll try and turn things around a bit, see if I can put that connection in there. One of my characters is a super-genius, maybe something which builds on her ideas of science being used to help humanity, not harm it? Chrome's minions are works of engineering genius after all, but they are being used against mankind, and she could be a good counter-point to that. Maybe she had even met the guy beforehand and is shocked at what he has become. Just some thoughts.
Yeah, something like that. Maybe your super-genius is overly analytical and emotionally stunted, drawing a parallel between her and Chrome, who might be physically numb, but still has his emotions intact.
Superhero comics do the whole villainous opposite/dark mirror thing really well. Most often, heroes have villains that are very similar, but whose few, massive differences have set them at opposite ends of the good-evil spectrum. Doing so illustrates why the heroes are so heroic, and the villains are so villainous.
Joker and Batman both had very bad days once, they've each spent the rest of their lives taking it out on the world, in very different ways. Lex Luthor and Superman could both save the world if they wanted to, but unlike Superman, Lex was raised to be greedy, corrupt, and malevolent, so he won't. Sinestro's a space-cop that gained ultimate power and never recovered from the corruption it spawned in him. Hal Jordan's space-cop that gained ultimate power, was corrupted, and ultimately paid penance for what he'd done.
I'm a firm believer that, especially in the realm of superhero stories, characters have to represent something. Order vs chaos, creation vs destruction, hope vs cynicism, etc. Otherwise their struggles are less meaningful to the audience. Even a movie like the first Predator, which plenty of people enjoyed on a purely surface level, had some great subtext to it. That said, what ultimately matters is telling a good story, and however you reach that destination, doesn't really matter.
Well I love superhero stories, and I can enjoy just a regular heroes vs villaisn title. To me the bright, superhero stuff is just fun to read, and The Vigilants is inspired by more adventurous, fun modern comics like Ultimate Spidey, Dynamo 5, early Invincible stuff, Thor: The Mighty Avenger, Captain Britain, that kind of thing. I'd much rather write and read that than something which tries to hard to be meaningful
That said Munch it's good advice and I always try and get an idea as to what a particular character represents when I make them. Thanks again for the help man, it's really useful.
Just as a quick aside, Solar, have you ever lost the sense of touch? It happens a lot from major surgery; I busted my Achilles tendon a couple of years back and although the doc did what he could to fix the problem without major side effects I've still got no sensation on one side of my foot. There are other problems that have resulted from that injury over the years, but that was the one that disturbed and upset me the most. It was like that part of my body didn't belong to me anymore.
It's a good thing to have a grasp on what the person is actually going through, even in a small way. Maybe Chrome, with his inability to physically sense the world, has dissociated from the consequences of his actions; it is as if he is being carried inside of a sensory deprivation chamber.
Anyway, just a thought, and not a particularly specific one at that. Old Man Hero has a similar situation, so I've given the problem a lot of thought over the years. I know yours is a fairly light and fluffy treatment of the issue, but it never hurts to ground it in the character's reality.
Hourly comics day is more oriented towards "strip" comics, you write and draw one strip every hour you're awake.
I learned about it from the guy who does Mordant Orange. It's a cool idea, probably better for web comics than books comics. The 24 hour comics day thing sounds like a lot of fun and a lot of work all at the same time.
I drew a thing today, while I was trying to figure out how to do colored tone dots and lettering.
I didn't really get the effect I was looking for with the tone, but it was a fun way to spend an hour, and I finally figured out how do that little word balloon effect where a word breaks out.
Otherwise, I've temporarily suspended my comic'ing to focus on getting my Aquaman design done for the Project Rooftop contest.
It's a documentary-style comic about religion in my town. I live in Spartanburg, SC and a friend of mine recently converted to Islam. It turns out we have a mosque, and after going there a couple of times I started looking around and finding some non-Christian places of worship tucked away out of sight. So I started trying to meet people who practice stuff like Buddhism and Wicca while simultaneously somehow living in the Bible Belt.
It's been interesting. So far I've interviewed a Wiccan lesbian couple, a progressive liberal atheist who's family goes way back to the first settlers around here or something (and they're all hardcore Church of Christ people), a Muslim dude my age who's also a doctor and has lived in the U.S. in the South most of his life, etc.
I'm not really trying to have a specific narrative per se, just presenting a side of the South that's not seen much, I guess. It's turning out to be more about me (a lot of documentaries turn out to be about the person making them, I think) in that I also grew up in the Church of Christ and only in the past few years became an atheist. I'm planning on having a part about Christianity as well, but it's pretty much just going to be about myself and my family (my mother, who's a devout Christian and also hardcore conservative Republican, doesn't know I'm an atheist. But I do plan on interviewing her about Christianity and telling her. So that will probably be pretty dramatic).
I'm not doing it just for indie publisher fodder, but it does seem like a good idea to maybe get my foot in the door?
(BTW I'm a male, Gloria Farmer is an in-joke that sort of became my pen name. Sorry if you just read this in a girl's voice in your head.)
It's a documentary-style comic about religion in my town. I live in Spartanburg, SC and a friend of mine recently converted to Islam. It turns out we have a mosque, and after going there a couple of times I started looking around and finding some non-Christian places of worship tucked away out of sight. So I started trying to meet people who practice stuff like Buddhism and Wicca while simultaneously somehow living in the Bible Belt.
It's been interesting. So far I've interviewed a Wiccan lesbian couple, a progressive liberal atheist who's family goes way back to the first settlers around here or something (and they're all hardcore Church of Christ people), a Muslim dude my age who's also a doctor and has lived in the U.S. in the South most of his life, etc.
I'm not really trying to have a specific narrative per se, just presenting a side of the South that's not seen much, I guess. It's turning out to be more about me (a lot of documentaries turn out to be about the person making them, I think) in that I also grew up in the Church of Christ and only in the past few years became an atheist. I'm planning on having a part about Christianity as well, but it's pretty much just going to be about myself and my family (my mother, who's a devout Christian and also hardcore conservative Republican, doesn't know I'm an atheist. But I do plan on interviewing her about Christianity and telling her. So that will probably be pretty dramatic).
I'm not doing it just for indie publisher fodder, but it does seem like a good idea to maybe get my foot in the door?
(BTW I'm a male, Gloria Farmer is an in-joke that sort of became my pen name. Sorry if you just read this in a girl's voice in your head.)
Well, if you're set on getting it published physically, I'd recommend a few things to you:
1) Put together a good pitch. Make a quick but informative write up about the project. Figure out what your "hook" is and work it into the entire thing. Figure out what story you're trying to tell, then explain it concisely but completely. List the cast and how they relate to the story. Don't make it overly long.
2) Develop the art style (the look of the characters and the setting, lettering, etc.) either by yourself as the artist or with another person as the artist.
3) Script 5 or 6 pages exactly as you'd give them to an artist. If you are the artist, draw those pages. Otherwise, have your artist draw the pages.
4) Identify publishers that are likely to be interested in this sort of book. I'd recommend you try Top Shelf.
4) Compile the pitch, the art, and the script into a single document. Make sure that the art is right after the pitch page. Editors want to see finished comic art, so don't make them have to flip a bunch of pages to get to it. Remember to tailor the document to catch the eye of whoever you're handing it to.
5) Once you've sent it off to the editor/contact, check back with them after a 2 weeks or so just to confirm they received it.
That's just for cold pitching a project. It helps if you have some contacts with artists or writers or editors; try comic conventions or even your LCS.
Personally, I'd recommend you follow the above steps, but do the project regardless of and publish it as a webcomic. If it's good enough and you have enough banked material, you'd then be able to publish it.
Well, if you're set on getting it published physically, I'd recommend a few things to you:
1) Put together a good pitch. Make a quick but informative write up about the project. Figure out what your "hook" is and work it into the entire thing. Figure out what story you're trying to tell, then explain it concisely but completely. List the cast and how they relate to the story. Don't make it overly long.
2) Develop the art style (the look of the characters and the setting, lettering, etc.) either by yourself as the artist or with another person as the artist.
3) Script 5 or 6 pages exactly as you'd give them to an artist. If you are the artist, draw those pages. Otherwise, have your artist draw the pages.
4) Identify publishers that are likely to be interested in this sort of book. I'd recommend you try Top Shelf.
4) Compile the pitch, the art, and the script into a single document. Make sure that the art is right after the pitch page. Editors want to see finished comic art, so don't make them have to flip a bunch of pages to get to it. Remember to tailor the document to catch the eye of whoever you're handing it to.
5) Once you've sent it off to the editor/contact, check back with them after a 2 weeks or so just to confirm they received it.
That's just for cold pitching a project. It helps if you have some contacts with artists or writers or editors; try comic conventions or even your LCS.
Personally, I'd recommend you follow the above steps, but do the project regardless of and publish it as a webcomic. If it's good enough and you have enough banked material, you'd then be able to publish it.
I appreciate the advice. Yeah, Top Shelf is my top choice. I'm practicing inking with brushes because I want to do a Walt Holcombe type style. I'm the artist, by the way. My basic plan was to do exactly what you said, only also apply for a Xeric grant, if no publisher seems interested. Then if the Xeric grant doesn't work, just publish it on the web and work on something else, while hopefully going to comic conventions and stuff like that.
I know that Slouching Towards Bethlehem is Jess' livejournal. And I would definitely agree that his blog posts and twitter are very inspirational.
I'll cut to the chase and say that his posts on pre-Columbian Americans have directly inspired some material another freelancer (who happens to live in the same city) and I plan to write in the future. Oh, and there's also this (The tumblr post looks prettier than the LJ post).
Juan, in FULL MEXICAN POLICE UNIFORM, on his knees screaming to the sky. He is atop of a BANDIDO, that is handcuffed. Now, when I say bandido, I mean one of the extras you see in a Western. Poncho. Bandoliers. Ridiculous Mustache. Giant ass-fuck sombrero. He is caricature at its finest.
Juan's knees push the bandido's face into the ground.
In his arms, Juan cradles a FLAMING NUN. That's right. A nun. That is on fire.
In front of him, two COMPLETELY WRECKED SCHOOL BUSSES. Behind him, COMPLETELY DEMOLISHED BUILDINGS. One, a SCHOOL FOR THE BLIND, the other a PET HOSPITAL.
CAPTION BOX
MEXICO. YEARS EARLIER.
Panel 2
INT. MEXICAN POLICE OFFICE - DAY
This is it. This is the "turn in your badge and gun" office. You know what it should look like. Some file cabinets. A big ol' desk. Pictures of the chief's family. Awards. The works.
A sheepish Juan melts into his chair as the CHIEF, a man who somehow manages to be both burly and morbidly obese, is screaming at the top of his lungs. His word balloon damn near covers poor Juan.
CHIEF
Damnit, Chupacabra. You're a loose cannon! You're off your rocker! And, as of now, you're off the force! The only reason you aren't being executed right now is because my wife's got a soft spot for you. Now turn in your badge and gun.*
CAPTION BOX
* Translated from very angry Spanish.
Panel 3
INT. MEXICAN BAR - NIGHT
A LIVID BARTENDER in an empty bar pushes a PASSED OUT JUAN in a pile of BEER BOTTLES out the door with a broom.
EXT. HAPPY HIAWATHA'S INDIAN CASINO
A SPLASH that takes up the rest of the page.
Happy Hiawatha's is as culturally insensitive as humanly possible. It is Vegas on crack. Lit up like a neon pink solar flare. Fountains spit water on either side of the doorway. The sign has a ridiculously racist Indian warrior playing roulette, flanked by buxom beauties. He is the Hugh Heffner of racist portrayals of Indians.
There is a GREETER at the door. A straight up Indian Medicine Man that isn't a day younger than 300 straddled atop of a BUFFALO.
INT. SMALL ROOM - NIGHT
JUAN stands triumphantly on top of the skeleton pile. The ropes are at his ankles.
Here, let me transcribe my thoughts on El Chupacabra, as I read it, beer in hand.
-A splash page for the second page? Alright, that's cool.
-A double splash page for pages two and three? Now I need to find my X-acto knife.
-Oh thank God, talking heads.
-Who's Tammy Faye Baker?
-I have to fit a chupacrabra, a bandito, a flaming nun, two schoolbuses, a school for the blind, and a pet hospital, into one panel?
-TLB just dropped a wrestling reference on me.
-It's official, I'm just drawing TLB's Gambit fanfic at this point.
-Montaaaage!
-I'm not sure I'm comfortable with this kind of language.
-Robocop? DONE!
In all seriousness though, it's a really good script. I have some concerns over a few jarring scene transitions, but I'll hash those out as I do my breakdowns. Overall, this looks like it'll be a lot of fun to draw.
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don't write no prose broheim
you ain't need to write out every little thing that happens
also I am the worst example but I am in the middle of getting ready to move so I ain't had time to write shit
who knew moving couldn't all be accomplished in a day
So now if I want to try something out I come up with an issue plan, then add in bit piece by piece until it all comes together, rather than writing it from beginning to end. That way you can play around with little bits and know how much dialogue space you have etc.
How's Sentry Duty coming along, Son?
Basically, the setting is Limbo.
It's a world where only the Amish were right. So, only Amish people go to heaven. But, there is no hell. Only Limbo.
Which is pretty much Earth, but endless, and everyone who ever died that wasn't Amish is there. Also,o obviously people can't die. You don't need money or anything. It is the suburbs. Depending on when you die, it might be a little more or a little less ahead of the times than Earth is currently, because it is in perpetual motion just like Earth IE: there is nothing there that hasn't been invented yet, and unless someone makes it, you won't have it.
Sometimes, you just gotta wait for either Tesla or Edison to die if you want electricity.
Furtheremore, every superhero and supervillain that has ever died is there.
It would be a slice of life kind of series, but instead of focusing on heroes it would be on villains.
Because, seriously, in a world where there is really no point to supervillainy, how do you adjust?
I mean, you can't kill anyone. Robbing a bank or becoming supreme dictator won't really do much in the long run.
What the fuck are you supposed to do?
Would it be a punishment, a chance to do turn a new leaf, a way to work through whatever horrific origin event created you?
The stories are kinda boundless.
And the real reason I kinda dig this idea is it'd be a complete 180 of anything I've written before.
Nothing over the top can happen because why would it
@oldmanhero .programming .web comic .everything
STOP COPYING ME
I AM SUING YOU RIGHT NOW
You're right, though, yours is better. If it wasn't for the fact that I already have one mildly literary superhero script stalled out right now I'd totally steal your idea and make a gajillion dollars.
@oldmanhero .programming .web comic .everything
I have problems visualizing things in panels. I have written prose for 15 years, I have been trying to write scripts for 2.
Anyway, Chrome (A metallurgist named Aldus Hansman, whose body was transformed into a unique, super-hard alloy during a lab accident which also removes his ability to feel sensations such as taste and touch and gives him a super-fast, computer brain. Being denied physical sensations ahs driven him mad and now he seeks to replace organic, feeling humans with cold machine constructs like himself) has attacked the Statue of Liberty, wanting to use it's exposed metallic mass as a projection device to unleash an energy wave that could destroy the city. Chrome considers it highly amusing that the organics' symbol of freedom will be used to bring about their downfall!!!
The Vigilants turn up to try and stop Chrome and are faced with his legions of robotic minions. Fighting through them they try and rescue the hostages which Chrome has taken as well as stopping him from using his device, which is wired into the inside of the statue. As this will probably be the first issue we get to see the heroes in action, introduce their powers and characters. Eventually they manage to win but Chrome escapes into the bay, and the Vigilants have to leave due to the arrival of the law (in this setting, vigilante superheroes are not legally accepted by the government, though they have widespread public support and cops tend not to try to hard to catch them).
Before they leave however, the team notice that a number of sensors have been placed in the statue and surrounding area, and not by Chrome. The sensors are transmitting but to an unknown destination and they shut down when they are discovered. Taking a few for study, the team head back to base. Once there they relax after their fight, and we get to see more of the characters behind the masks as it were. Looking at the devices it is clear that they are high-tech pieces manufactured by a small company nearby, and that they will check this out later on. On heading home, one of the team gets inside to find someone waiting for her! It's a man, who looks beaten and injured, and as the issue ends he tells her that he has information for her about the sensors, he knows that she is a superhero, and he desperately needs her help!
If anyone has any advice that would be great, plus if anyone wants to tell me that it is terrible feel free! It's a learning process and one where criticism would really help, so thanks in advance guys! One thing I am thinking of doing is setting this game in a fictional city and using some other landmark of my own design rather than the Statue of Liberty. I say this because I think that kind of created city really fits with the feel I am trying to go for and allows me to do stuff which I don't then have to link in with actual real landmarks.
I think that's the core of your story. Here's how I'd break it down, without knowing anything else about your idea or story, but what you've said.
Act 1: Story opens on Chrome standing in the Statue of Liberty, a pile of beaten S.W.A.T. Team officers laying beaten and bloodied. Chrome begins proselytizing to the only one that's still semi-conscious, telling him his master plan. That gives you a convenient way to do your exposition. The S.W.A.T. officer incoherently mumbles about how much pain they're in, setting Chrome off. He goes on to start screaming at the injured officer about how lucky they are to even be able to feel pain, grabs them by the throat, and begins to throttle the life out of them. Then the heroes show up.
In a few pages you've set up your villain's plan, his motivations, explained his conflict, started out with a tense action beat as he strangles the hapless S.W.A.T. officer, and established a real need for your heroes to intervene.
Act 2: The big fight scene. You can do a little exposition on your heroes here, showing them using their powers and such. Is one member protective/in love with another? You can show that through their actions. Does one hate another one? You can show that. I'd have the fight ramp up, with Chrome disabling all the heroes but one, through use of his super-brain. The one remaining hero dukes it out with him, Chrome still screaming about how unfortunate his lot in life is. The remaining hero tells him to basically quit whining, fights him to a standstill, and Chrome escapes/gets smacked into the bay.
Act 3: The heroes stir/escape from whatever it was Chrome used to incapacitate them. They're all congratulating each other on a job well done, when the S.W.A.T. officer they saved raises a gun on them, before ultimately telling them to just go, after a tense moment. Again, this is just a little exposition to show that police don't really mind the heroes, in your world. The heroes all go back to their secret base, and we get a page or two of everyone talking about how crazy it was that the one hero who managed to fight back, pretty much saved everyone's bacon. The hero laughs it off, saying it was nothing, before excusing themselves to their room. They stand in front of a mirror, their own reflection staring back, before they push a button on their watch/necklace/earlobe, and a hologram that had been covering them melts away, revealing them as a nearly-featureless android. Insert a one-panel flashback of the hero fighting Chrome, who was yelling something at the time about how lucky the hero is to be human.
Hero turns their hologram projector back on, remarking something that's either sad/cocky/hopeful, depending on what kind of story you want to tell.
Again, this is without knowing anything about your story, your world, or your characters. But it's pretty much the most straight-forward way I can think of, to give meaning to the heroes' fight with Chrome, and make it about something. Without emotional nuance, or a real point, your audience won't connect with your story. That subtext is what makes a story a story, rather than just a bunch of things happening in sequence.
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The big fight is definately where I'm going to be introducing the characters and their relations between each other, I think there's a lot you can get across in the tension of a fight scene that doesn't work as well through a regular conversation. really the focus of the story I have planned is what it's like to be in a superhero team together, how a group of often very disparate people (some of whom aren't even human beings!) can come together to trust and rely on each other against massive odds.
But yeah your idea does create an emotional connection maybe mine is missing. I'll try and turn things around a bit, see if I can put that connection in there. One of my characters is a super-genius, maybe something which builds on her ideas of science being used to help humanity, not harm it? Chrome's minions are works of engineering genius after all, but they are being used against mankind, and she could be a good counter-point to that. Maybe she had even met the guy beforehand and is shocked at what he has become. Just some thoughts.
Superhero comics do the whole villainous opposite/dark mirror thing really well. Most often, heroes have villains that are very similar, but whose few, massive differences have set them at opposite ends of the good-evil spectrum. Doing so illustrates why the heroes are so heroic, and the villains are so villainous.
Joker and Batman both had very bad days once, they've each spent the rest of their lives taking it out on the world, in very different ways. Lex Luthor and Superman could both save the world if they wanted to, but unlike Superman, Lex was raised to be greedy, corrupt, and malevolent, so he won't. Sinestro's a space-cop that gained ultimate power and never recovered from the corruption it spawned in him. Hal Jordan's space-cop that gained ultimate power, was corrupted, and ultimately paid penance for what he'd done.
I'm a firm believer that, especially in the realm of superhero stories, characters have to represent something. Order vs chaos, creation vs destruction, hope vs cynicism, etc. Otherwise their struggles are less meaningful to the audience. Even a movie like the first Predator, which plenty of people enjoyed on a purely surface level, had some great subtext to it. That said, what ultimately matters is telling a good story, and however you reach that destination, doesn't really matter.
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That said Munch it's good advice and I always try and get an idea as to what a particular character represents when I make them. Thanks again for the help man, it's really useful.
It's a good thing to have a grasp on what the person is actually going through, even in a small way. Maybe Chrome, with his inability to physically sense the world, has dissociated from the consequences of his actions; it is as if he is being carried inside of a sensory deprivation chamber.
Anyway, just a thought, and not a particularly specific one at that. Old Man Hero has a similar situation, so I've given the problem a lot of thought over the years. I know yours is a fairly light and fluffy treatment of the issue, but it never hurts to ground it in the character's reality.
@oldmanhero .programming .web comic .everything
@oldmanhero .programming .web comic .everything
What is Hourly Comics Day? Google is failing me (unless Hourly Comics Day is about Thai ladyboy porn).
I assume it's like 24 hour comic day, but...?
Hourly comics day is more oriented towards "strip" comics, you write and draw one strip every hour you're awake.
I learned about it from the guy who does Mordant Orange. It's a cool idea, probably better for web comics than books comics. The 24 hour comics day thing sounds like a lot of fun and a lot of work all at the same time.
@oldmanhero .programming .web comic .everything
Here is a really good Brandon Graham interview. It talks about making comics.
http://comiczquest.blogspot.com/2011/01/talking-to-brandon-graham.html
His completely Not Work Safe for Work livejournal is awesome and everyone who likes comics should read it
http://royalboiler.livejournal.com/
I didn't really get the effect I was looking for with the tone, but it was a fun way to spend an hour, and I finally figured out how do that little word balloon effect where a word breaks out.
Otherwise, I've temporarily suspended my comic'ing to focus on getting my Aquaman design done for the Project Rooftop contest.
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It's a documentary-style comic about religion in my town. I live in Spartanburg, SC and a friend of mine recently converted to Islam. It turns out we have a mosque, and after going there a couple of times I started looking around and finding some non-Christian places of worship tucked away out of sight. So I started trying to meet people who practice stuff like Buddhism and Wicca while simultaneously somehow living in the Bible Belt.
It's been interesting. So far I've interviewed a Wiccan lesbian couple, a progressive liberal atheist who's family goes way back to the first settlers around here or something (and they're all hardcore Church of Christ people), a Muslim dude my age who's also a doctor and has lived in the U.S. in the South most of his life, etc.
I'm not really trying to have a specific narrative per se, just presenting a side of the South that's not seen much, I guess. It's turning out to be more about me (a lot of documentaries turn out to be about the person making them, I think) in that I also grew up in the Church of Christ and only in the past few years became an atheist. I'm planning on having a part about Christianity as well, but it's pretty much just going to be about myself and my family (my mother, who's a devout Christian and also hardcore conservative Republican, doesn't know I'm an atheist. But I do plan on interviewing her about Christianity and telling her. So that will probably be pretty dramatic).
I'm not doing it just for indie publisher fodder, but it does seem like a good idea to maybe get my foot in the door?
(BTW I'm a male, Gloria Farmer is an in-joke that sort of became my pen name. Sorry if you just read this in a girl's voice in your head.)
Well, if you're set on getting it published physically, I'd recommend a few things to you:
1) Put together a good pitch. Make a quick but informative write up about the project. Figure out what your "hook" is and work it into the entire thing. Figure out what story you're trying to tell, then explain it concisely but completely. List the cast and how they relate to the story. Don't make it overly long.
2) Develop the art style (the look of the characters and the setting, lettering, etc.) either by yourself as the artist or with another person as the artist.
3) Script 5 or 6 pages exactly as you'd give them to an artist. If you are the artist, draw those pages. Otherwise, have your artist draw the pages.
4) Identify publishers that are likely to be interested in this sort of book. I'd recommend you try Top Shelf.
4) Compile the pitch, the art, and the script into a single document. Make sure that the art is right after the pitch page. Editors want to see finished comic art, so don't make them have to flip a bunch of pages to get to it. Remember to tailor the document to catch the eye of whoever you're handing it to.
5) Once you've sent it off to the editor/contact, check back with them after a 2 weeks or so just to confirm they received it.
That's just for cold pitching a project. It helps if you have some contacts with artists or writers or editors; try comic conventions or even your LCS.
Personally, I'd recommend you follow the above steps, but do the project regardless of and publish it as a webcomic. If it's good enough and you have enough banked material, you'd then be able to publish it.
I appreciate the advice. Yeah, Top Shelf is my top choice. I'm practicing inking with brushes because I want to do a Walt Holcombe type style. I'm the artist, by the way. My basic plan was to do exactly what you said, only also apply for a Xeric grant, if no publisher seems interested. Then if the Xeric grant doesn't work, just publish it on the web and work on something else, while hopefully going to comic conventions and stuff like that.
http://jessnevins.tumblr.com/
http://nofearofthefuture.blogspot.com/ (i think this is his too)
and it makes me want to write something
maybe something involving a cross reality manhunt... carried out by seemingly ordinary humans
I'll cut to the chase and say that his posts on pre-Columbian Americans have directly inspired some material another freelancer (who happens to live in the same city) and I plan to write in the future. Oh, and there's also this (The tumblr post looks prettier than the LJ post).
I just finished the first script of EL CHUPACABRA: ACE DETECTIVE
any of you doggies wanna read it
YOU FINISHED THE SCRIPT
HOW ABOUT THAT
Also blank now I will spend a billion months working on our beat sheet.
FLASHBACK: EXT. MEXICAN STREETS - DAY
Juan, in FULL MEXICAN POLICE UNIFORM, on his knees screaming to the sky. He is atop of a BANDIDO, that is handcuffed. Now, when I say bandido, I mean one of the extras you see in a Western. Poncho. Bandoliers. Ridiculous Mustache. Giant ass-fuck sombrero. He is caricature at its finest.
Juan's knees push the bandido's face into the ground.
In his arms, Juan cradles a FLAMING NUN. That's right. A nun. That is on fire.
In front of him, two COMPLETELY WRECKED SCHOOL BUSSES. Behind him, COMPLETELY DEMOLISHED BUILDINGS. One, a SCHOOL FOR THE BLIND, the other a PET HOSPITAL.
MEXICO. YEARS EARLIER.
Panel 2
INT. MEXICAN POLICE OFFICE - DAY
This is it. This is the "turn in your badge and gun" office. You know what it should look like. Some file cabinets. A big ol' desk. Pictures of the chief's family. Awards. The works.
A sheepish Juan melts into his chair as the CHIEF, a man who somehow manages to be both burly and morbidly obese, is screaming at the top of his lungs. His word balloon damn near covers poor Juan.
Damnit, Chupacabra. You're a loose cannon! You're off your rocker! And, as of now, you're off the force! The only reason you aren't being executed right now is because my wife's got a soft spot for you. Now turn in your badge and gun.*
CAPTION BOX
* Translated from very angry Spanish.
Panel 3
INT. MEXICAN BAR - NIGHT
A LIVID BARTENDER in an empty bar pushes a PASSED OUT JUAN in a pile of BEER BOTTLES out the door with a broom.
A SPLASH that takes up the rest of the page.
Happy Hiawatha's is as culturally insensitive as humanly possible. It is Vegas on crack. Lit up like a neon pink solar flare. Fountains spit water on either side of the doorway. The sign has a ridiculously racist Indian warrior playing roulette, flanked by buxom beauties. He is the Hugh Heffner of racist portrayals of Indians.
There is a GREETER at the door. A straight up Indian Medicine Man that isn't a day younger than 300 straddled atop of a BUFFALO.
JUAN stands triumphantly on top of the skeleton pile. The ropes are at his ankles.
How about you die!
noice
I mean come on now
It's nice to see it in action though
that and loose cannon
I appreciate such fine things TLB
-A splash page for the second page? Alright, that's cool.
-A double splash page for pages two and three? Now I need to find my X-acto knife.
-Oh thank God, talking heads.
-Who's Tammy Faye Baker?
-I have to fit a chupacrabra, a bandito, a flaming nun, two schoolbuses, a school for the blind, and a pet hospital, into one panel?
-TLB just dropped a wrestling reference on me.
-It's official, I'm just drawing TLB's Gambit fanfic at this point.
-Montaaaage!
-I'm not sure I'm comfortable with this kind of language.
-Robocop? DONE!
In all seriousness though, it's a really good script. I have some concerns over a few jarring scene transitions, but I'll hash those out as I do my breakdowns. Overall, this looks like it'll be a lot of fun to draw.
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You know where it would be.
And you know how much you would groan.
we must show solidarity
I PROMISE