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"Updating" classics, or: How to spin corpses in graves.

YaYaYaYa Decent.Registered User regular
edited March 2008 in Social Entropy++
So, I'm in a production of Anything Goes right now, a musical written around the 30's. It's held up surprisingly well. But the director has seen it fit to update it for a modern audience. An example.

Original

Billy: Murray Hill Flowers? Where'd he find a name like that?
Erma: The Yellow Pages.

It's not great, but it's okay. Might get a chuckle or two.

Updated

Billy: Murray Hill Flowers? Where'd he get a name like that, the Yellow Pages?
Erma: No, the internet of course, he Googled it!




That may be the most awkward attempt at humour I've ever heard.

So post about shitty updates/remakes in here.

YaYa on
PLA
«13

Posts

  • MKRMKR Registered User regular
    edited March 2008
    This thread.

    But generally any remake except for those that aren't awful.

    MKR on
    Twitter
  • The_ScarabThe_Scarab Registered User regular
    edited March 2008
    The Flash Gordon TV series.

    Dont mess with perfection. The film is still great.

    The_Scarab on
    Kuribo's Jew wrote: »
    scarab you have mental problems
  • KhavallKhavall British ColumbiaRegistered User regular
    edited March 2008
    On the other hand:


    Battlestar Galactica classic was terrible.

    Battlestar Galactica updated is incredible.

    Khavall on
  • FAQFAQ Registered User regular
    edited March 2008
    That is the lamest attempt at an update I've ever seen.

    fucking sticking Google in it to make it contemporary, grahhhh

    FAQ on
  • YaYaYaYa Decent. Registered User regular
    edited March 2008
    FAQ wrote: »
    That is the lamest attempt at an update I've ever seen.

    fucking sticking Google in it to make it contemporary, grahhhh

    I know, right?

    I literally took the assistant director aside and said to her "If you get that line cut out of the script, I will give you 100 dollars right now.

    YaYa on
  • Filler Inc.Filler Inc. Registered User regular
    edited March 2008
    Operation desert storm was much better the first time.

    This second one has sucked ass.

    I hope they don't to a prequel.

    Filler Inc. on
  • DruhimDruhim Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited March 2008
    yeah, that's a fucking terrible line

    Druhim on
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  • JaninJanin Registered User
    edited March 2008
    YaYa wrote: »
    FAQ wrote: »
    That is the lamest attempt at an update I've ever seen.

    fucking sticking Google in it to make it contemporary, grahhhh

    I know, right?

    I literally took the assistant director aside and said to her "If you get that line cut out of the script, I will give you 100 dollars right now.

    Did she go for it?

    Janin on
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • Calamity JaneCalamity Jane That Wrong Love Registered User regular
    edited March 2008
    I remember that side-quest in Jade Empire for some reason.

    Calamity Jane on
    twitter https://twitter.com/mperezwritesirl michelle patreon https://www.patreon.com/thatwronglove michelle's comic book from IMAGE COMICS you can order http://a.co/dn5YeUD
  • FaricazyFaricazy Registered User regular
    edited March 2008
    Khavall wrote: »
    On the other hand:


    Battlestar Galactica classic was terrible.

    Battlestar Galactica updated is incredible.
    i am so pumped for april holy crap

    Faricazy on
  • MugginsMuggins Registered User regular
    edited March 2008
    YaYa you must now go punch your director.

    Muggins on
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    hey satan...: thinkgeek amazon My post |
  • YaYaYaYa Decent. Registered User regular
    edited March 2008
    Janin wrote: »
    YaYa wrote: »
    FAQ wrote: »
    That is the lamest attempt at an update I've ever seen.

    fucking sticking Google in it to make it contemporary, grahhhh

    I know, right?

    I literally took the assistant director aside and said to her "If you get that line cut out of the script, I will give you 100 dollars right now.

    Did she go for it?

    She said she couldn't do anything about it.

    Edit: Oh God, guys, it gets so much worse.

    They throw out all these famous names, but of course they needed to be updated too.

    So now instead of...I think it was Greta Garbo? Not being able to sail on the ship, it's now Britney Spears.

    There's not even a punchline, they've just changed a lot of names.

    YaYa on
  • KilljoyKilljoy __BANNED USERS
    edited March 2008
    Hurk.

    Killjoy on
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  • HomelessHomeless Registered User regular
    edited March 2008
    blow gabriel blow

    all through the night

    Homeless on
  • Ninja BotNinja Bot Registered User
    edited March 2008
    The Grinch starring Jim Carrey

    The Cat in the Hat starring Mike Myers

    Horton Hears a Who starring the Boss from the Office

    What is Dr. Suess's estate not filthily rich enough?

    On the other hand the recent Rambo and Die Hard sequels were pretty good.

    Ninja Bot on
  • PiptheFairPiptheFair Registered User regular
    edited March 2008
    anybody said "a raisin in the sun" yet?

    cause puff daddy does not need to be doing things

    PiptheFair on
  • Moe FwackyMoe Fwacky Moderator mod
    edited March 2008
    YaYa wrote: »
    So, I'm in a production of Anything Goes right now, a musical written around the 30's. It's held up surprisingly well. But the director has seen it fit to update it for a modern audience. An example.

    Original

    Billy: Murray Hill Flowers? Where'd he find a name like that?
    Erma: The Yellow Pages.

    It's not great, but it's okay. Might get a chuckle or two.

    Updated

    Billy: Murray Hill Flowers? Where'd he get a name like that, the Yellow Pages?
    Erma: No, the internet of course, he Googled it!




    That may be the most awkward attempt at humour I've ever heard.

    So post about shitty updates/remakes in here.
    Maybe the line wouldn't suck if he just replaced "the yellow pages" from the original with "the internet" and left it at that.

    Moe Fwacky on
    E6LkoFK.png

    PLA
  • satansfingerssatansfingers Registered User regular
    edited March 2008
    Ninja Bot wrote: »
    The Grinch starring Jim Carrey

    The Cat in the Hat starring Mike Myers

    Horton Hears a Who starring the Boss from the Office

    What is Dr. Suess's estate not filthily rich enough?

    On the other hand the recent Rambo and Die Hard sequels were pretty good.

    horton hears a who isn't even out yet

    satansfingers on
  • Ninja BotNinja Bot Registered User
    edited March 2008
    satansfingers wrote: »
    Ninja Bot wrote: »
    The Grinch starring Jim Carrey

    The Cat in the Hat starring Mike Myers

    Horton Hears a Who starring the Boss from the Office

    What is Dr. Suess's estate not filthily rich enough?

    On the other hand the recent Rambo and Die Hard sequels were pretty good.

    horton hears a who isn't even out yet

    That doesn't stop it from being shitty.

    Ninja Bot on
  • Bendery It Like BeckhamBendery It Like Beckham Hopeless Registered User regular
    edited March 2008
    Moe Fwacky wrote: »
    YaYa wrote: »
    So, I'm in a production of Anything Goes right now, a musical written around the 30's. It's held up surprisingly well. But the director has seen it fit to update it for a modern audience. An example.

    Original

    Billy: Murray Hill Flowers? Where'd he find a name like that?
    Erma: The Yellow Pages.

    It's not great, but it's okay. Might get a chuckle or two.

    Updated

    Billy: Murray Hill Flowers? Where'd he get a name like that, the Yellow Pages?
    Erma: No, the internet of course, he Googled it!




    That may be the most awkward attempt at humour I've ever heard.

    So post about shitty updates/remakes in here.
    Maybe the line wouldn't suck if he just replaced "the yellow pages" from the original with "the internet" and left it at that.

    maybe he's a google shill

    Bendery It Like Beckham on
  • satansfingerssatansfingers Registered User regular
    edited March 2008
    the trailer looked pretty good

    all of the voice actors are good

    i don't see why you're hating on it sight unseen

    satansfingers on
  • Moe FwackyMoe Fwacky Moderator mod
    edited March 2008
    Bendery wrote: »
    Moe Fwacky wrote: »
    YaYa wrote: »
    So, I'm in a production of Anything Goes right now, a musical written around the 30's. It's held up surprisingly well. But the director has seen it fit to update it for a modern audience. An example.

    Original

    Billy: Murray Hill Flowers? Where'd he find a name like that?
    Erma: The Yellow Pages.

    It's not great, but it's okay. Might get a chuckle or two.

    Updated

    Billy: Murray Hill Flowers? Where'd he get a name like that, the Yellow Pages?
    Erma: No, the internet of course, he Googled it!




    That may be the most awkward attempt at humour I've ever heard.

    So post about shitty updates/remakes in here.
    Maybe the line wouldn't suck if he just replaced "the yellow pages" from the original with "the internet" and left it at that.

    maybe he's a google shill

    Then replace it with "Google"

    I don't think it's so much the guy's a google shill as it's that he's such a shitty writer that he can't even rewrite something somebody else already wrote.

    Moe Fwacky on
    E6LkoFK.png

    PLA
  • YaYaYaYa Decent. Registered User regular
    edited March 2008
    Moe Fwacky wrote: »
    Bendery wrote: »
    Moe Fwacky wrote: »
    YaYa wrote: »
    So, I'm in a production of Anything Goes right now, a musical written around the 30's. It's held up surprisingly well. But the director has seen it fit to update it for a modern audience. An example.

    Original

    Billy: Murray Hill Flowers? Where'd he find a name like that?
    Erma: The Yellow Pages.

    It's not great, but it's okay. Might get a chuckle or two.

    Updated

    Billy: Murray Hill Flowers? Where'd he get a name like that, the Yellow Pages?
    Erma: No, the internet of course, he Googled it!




    That may be the most awkward attempt at humour I've ever heard.

    So post about shitty updates/remakes in here.
    Maybe the line wouldn't suck if he just replaced "the yellow pages" from the original with "the internet" and left it at that.

    maybe he's a google shill

    Then replace it with "Google"

    I don't think it's so much the guy's a google shill as it's that he's such a shitty writer that he can't even rewrite something somebody else already wrote.

    Not only that, half the cast facepalm's whenever that line comes up and he is either completely oblivious or convinced that we're in the wrong.

    YaYa on
  • Moe FwackyMoe Fwacky Moderator mod
    edited March 2008
    Then get together with a few people and do a modern rewrite that doesn't sound like crap and just give it to him and say, "this is how we're doing it because it doesn't sound like it was written by a hack."

    Moe Fwacky on
    E6LkoFK.png

  • YaYaYaYa Decent. Registered User regular
    edited March 2008
    Moe Fwacky wrote: »
    Then get together with a few people and do a modern rewrite that doesn't sound like crap and just give it to him and say, "this is how we're doing it because it doesn't sound like it was written by a hack."

    School production, dude.

    If you don't know, directors of those things think they are Gods of the theater, and dissent in the ranks shall not be tolerated. I'd really love to, but...

    YaYa on
  • LabelLabel Registered User regular
    edited March 2008
    Aren't punchlines supposed to be short? You know, "punchy?"

    I think the line would work better "where'd he get a name like that, the Yellow Pages?" "Google'd it." Not that it helps that much.


    I don't think your director has any idea what s/he's doing. You should stage an intervention, with the whole cast. Like get together with some pizza and sit in a circle. Either that or get out while you still can.

    Label on
  • The Far SideThe Far Side __BANNED USERS regular
    edited March 2008
    when i caught wind of this i winced

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Day_the_Earth_Stood_Still_%282008_film%29

    then i saw who was going to be in it

    then i cried

    The Far Side on
  • YaYaYaYa Decent. Registered User regular
    edited March 2008
    Whoa, Teefs.

    YaYa on
  • The Far SideThe Far Side __BANNED USERS regular
    edited March 2008
    i mean keanu can play gort, that is a perfect role for him

    but

    klaatu fuck

    The Far Side on
  • Moe FwackyMoe Fwacky Moderator mod
    edited March 2008
    Nooo! No! You fools! What have you done!

    Moe Fwacky on
    E6LkoFK.png

  • LarlarLarlar consecutive normal brunches Moderator, ClubPA mod
    edited March 2008
    Moe Fwacky wrote: »
    YaYa wrote: »
    So, I'm in a production of Anything Goes right now, a musical written around the 30's. It's held up surprisingly well. But the director has seen it fit to update it for a modern audience. An example.

    Original

    Billy: Murray Hill Flowers? Where'd he find a name like that?
    Erma: The Yellow Pages.

    It's not great, but it's okay. Might get a chuckle or two.

    Updated

    Billy: Murray Hill Flowers? Where'd he get a name like that, the Yellow Pages?
    Erma: No, the internet of course, he Googled it!




    That may be the most awkward attempt at humour I've ever heard.

    So post about shitty updates/remakes in here.
    Maybe the line wouldn't suck if he just replaced "the yellow pages" from the original with "the internet" and left it at that.

    It'd be even better if he answered with "There's no time for your asinine curiosities, I have SARS. And it just might make me late for work."

    Larlar on
    iwantanswers3.png
  • PiptheFairPiptheFair Registered User regular
    edited March 2008
    The Far Side wrote: »
    when i caught wind of this i winced

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Day_the_Earth_Stood_Still_%282008_film%29

    then i saw who was going to be in it

    then i cried

    well jennifer connely and kathy bates are both excellent

    but goddamn keanu

    PiptheFair on
  • HomelessHomeless Registered User regular
    edited March 2008
    WHERE THE HELL ARE MY GLASSES

    Homeless on
  • KilljoyKilljoy __BANNED USERS
    edited March 2008
    Wow Jon Hamm was a high school teacher until he moved to Hollywood and made his professional acting debut in 2000.

    Killjoy on
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  • The Far SideThe Far Side __BANNED USERS regular
    edited March 2008
    how much do you want to bet they're going to market it as an ALIEN INVASION film

    goddamnit hollywood

    The Far Side on
  • The_ScarabThe_Scarab Registered User regular
    edited March 2008
    The Far Side wrote: »
    how much do you want to bet they're going to market it as an ALIEN INVASION film

    goddamnit hollywood

    or worse, go totally overboard on the political commentary over iraq.

    I know the first one did that but it did it with subtlety and style. i can see this one being annoyingly patriotic and superficial.

    like the scene in fucking volcano. 'they all look the same daddy' oh my god.

    The_Scarab on
    Kuribo's Jew wrote: »
    scarab you have mental problems
  • PoorochondriacPoorochondriac Ah, man Ah, jeezRegistered User regular
    edited March 2008
    YaYa wrote: »
    So, I'm in a production of Anything Goes right now, a musical written around the 30's. It's held up surprisingly well. But the director has seen it fit to update it for a modern audience. An example.

    Original

    Billy: Murray Hill Flowers? Where'd he find a name like that?
    Erma: The Yellow Pages.

    It's not great, but it's okay. Might get a chuckle or two.

    Updated

    Billy: Murray Hill Flowers? Where'd he get a name like that, the Yellow Pages?
    Erma: No, the internet of course, he Googled it!




    That may be the most awkward attempt at humour I've ever heard.

    So post about shitty updates/remakes in here.

    So instead of a brief, minorly amusing joke, he put in a long awkward unfunny one, and made the setup line more unwieldy. Aces.

    Poorochondriac on
    PLA
  • LarlarLarlar consecutive normal brunches Moderator, ClubPA mod
    edited March 2008
    The thing about modern humor is that it's terrible, so as a nested meta-joke these updates are a rowsing success.

    Larlar on
    iwantanswers3.png
  • Centipede DamascusCentipede Damascus Registered User regular
    edited March 2008
    The Far Side wrote: »
    when i caught wind of this i winced

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Day_the_Earth_Stood_Still_%282008_film%29

    then i saw who was going to be in it

    then i cried

    If you think there is there something wrong with Jennifer Connelly we will need to have words together, friend

    Centipede Damascus on
    twitter/tumblr
  • OrikaeshigitaeOrikaeshigitae Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited March 2008
    The Far Side wrote: »
    when i caught wind of this i winced

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Day_the_Earth_Stood_Still_%282008_film%29

    then i saw who was going to be in it

    then i cried

    GOD DAMMIT GOD DAMMIT

    SCREW YOU, KEANU REEVES! FUCK YOU!

    Orikaeshigitae on
    http://www.mediumdifficulty.com
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