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Jerk Chicken Thread- CHECK IN REQUIRED FROM LURKERS (also no porn- orikae)

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    casper_27dcasper_27d The Friendly Ghost EverywhereRegistered User regular
    edited March 2008
    Einhander wrote: »
    Hey, what happens in Iraq

    stays in Iraq.

    If only that was true. My job would be so much easier.

    casper_27d on
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    redfenixredfenix Aka'd as rfix Registered User regular
    edited March 2008
    Einhander wrote: »
    Hey, what happens in Iraq

    stays in Iraq.

    unlike vegas

    redfenix on
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    BoredGamerBoredGamer Registered User regular
    edited March 2008
    The weekend will claim many competitors.

    BoredGamer on
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    redfenixredfenix Aka'd as rfix Registered User regular
    edited March 2008
    redfenix wrote: »
    Still in this.

    I was wondering. The contest is not to orgasm, right?
    so if i nail my wife, but hold out, i'm still in the contest?
    that'd be pretty cool.

    Blue Balls hurts especially if you keep doing it to yourself, man that's just dumb to even attempt.

    I thought it would be a nice ol' 'hahahaha, take that' move to other contestants, if i got some, but stayed in the contest.

    Or, i could just end up losing with a smile on my face.

    redfenix on
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    MalkorMalkor Registered User regular
    edited March 2008
    casper_27d wrote: »
    Einhander wrote: »
    casper_27d wrote: »
    I stil think I have quite an advantage, I am in the middle of the desert with a bunch of guys in a country that doesnt allow porn, with restricted internet access and very very little time when I am actually in a position to do it. Also I rarely did it, do it any ways.

    So what you're saying is you want your name changed from red to pink?

    The goverment has a very clear policy on this and I am not allowed to anwser that question.

    How 'bout this, if you don't tell us we'll just assume you want pink.

    Malkor on
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    FlatEricFlatEric Leaves from the vine, Falling so slow Like fragile, tiny shells, Drifting in the foamRegistered User regular
    edited March 2008
    @fenix: The second option is much more likely. C'mon, you know you just can't resist anymore. Just give in...

    I'm logging off for now. Work calls. Later thread.

    FlatEric on
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    casper_27dcasper_27d The Friendly Ghost EverywhereRegistered User regular
    edited March 2008
    Malkor wrote: »
    casper_27d wrote: »
    Einhander wrote: »
    casper_27d wrote: »
    I stil think I have quite an advantage, I am in the middle of the desert with a bunch of guys in a country that doesnt allow porn, with restricted internet access and very very little time when I am actually in a position to do it. Also I rarely did it, do it any ways.

    So what you're saying is you want your name changed from red to pink?

    The goverment has a very clear policy on this and I am not allowed to anwser that question.

    How 'bout this, if you don't tell us we'll just assume you want pink.

    But green is more of an Army color.

    casper_27d on
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    ascotascot Registered User regular
    edited March 2008
    You ironically get the least PMs with green...

    ascot on
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    NotASenatorNotASenator Registered User regular
    edited March 2008
    I'm going to feel so unclean around you guys at PAX.

    NotASenator on
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    EinhanderEinhander __BANNED USERS regular
    edited March 2008
    NotACrook wrote: »
    I'm going to feel so unclean around you guys at PAX.

    I'll just look at some of you... I'll just look at you and I'll know.

    Einhander on
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    casper_27dcasper_27d The Friendly Ghost EverywhereRegistered User regular
    edited March 2008
    ascot wrote: »
    You ironically get the least PMs with green...

    That actually suprises me alot.

    casper_27d on
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    ascotascot Registered User regular
    edited March 2008
    NotACrook wrote: »
    I'm going to feel so unclean around you guys at PAX.

    Attending a gaming/comic expo? I thought being unhygienic was a given?

    ascot on
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    casper_27dcasper_27d The Friendly Ghost EverywhereRegistered User regular
    edited March 2008
    I can't wait until I can actually attend a PAX, 2009 here I come.

    casper_27d on
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    redimpulseredimpulse Registered User regular
    edited March 2008
    I had the worst dream last night guys (long read, but great)
    I have a nasty fear of falling. The elevators where I work are really good at giving me a scare, jumping about and abruptly stopping mid-floor and whatnot. Prelude over
    I'm riding up to my (the top) floor and there's some other guy in there with me. Well the elevator starts acting like a bitch and all and starts to freefall. For quite some time, much longer than it'd take to fall 13 stories. Somehow, during the fall, I make it outside the elevator, on the top holding on to a cable. Eventually the brakes apply and we come to a halt. I make it back in, and the elevator starts going up again.

    Eventually, we're in the elevator suspended over a construction site. Not sure how, but fuck it's a dream so fuck you. We start swinging the elevator so we can jump off onto the [ground], and are successful. I jumped first, and right after he jumps the elevator goes crashing down through the shaft, followed by tons of unexplained rocks and maybe coal I can't remember. So we walk off to our offices and start our day. A little while later, I'm out having a smoke and this nice girl from accounting starts talking to me. I tell her about the elevator, and she says "I can make it all better for you." So we're walking to her car when a couple o' guys who were up to no good, Started makin' trouble in my neighborhood. I got in one little fight and my mom got scared, She said 'You're movin with your auntie and uncle in Bel-Air!' I whistled for a cab and when i came near, The license plate said 'Fresh', And had dice in the mirror, If anything i could say that this cab was rare, But I thought 'Nah, forget it - Yo, home to Bel-Air!' I pulled up to the house at bout seven or eight, I yelled to the cabbie 'Yo home, smell ya later!' I looked at my kingdom, I was finally there, To sit on my throne as the prince of Bel-Air

    redimpulse on
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    redfenixredfenix Aka'd as rfix Registered User regular
    edited March 2008
    redfenix on
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    casper_27dcasper_27d The Friendly Ghost EverywhereRegistered User regular
    edited March 2008
    redimpulse wrote: »
    I had the worst dream last night guys (long read, but great)
    I have a nasty fear of falling. The elevators where I work are really good at giving me a scare, jumping about and abruptly stopping mid-floor and whatnot. Prelude over
    I'm riding up to my (the top) floor and there's some other guy in there with me. Well the elevator starts acting like a bitch and all and starts to freefall. For quite some time, much longer than it'd take to fall 13 stories. Somehow, during the fall, I make it outside the elevator, on the top holding on to a cable. Eventually the brakes apply and we come to a halt. I make it back in, and the elevator starts going up again.

    Eventually, we're in the elevator suspended over a construction site. Not sure how, but fuck it's a dream so fuck you. We start swinging the elevator so we can jump off onto the [ground], and are successful. I jumped first, and right after he jumps the elevator goes crashing down through the shaft, followed by tons of unexplained rocks and maybe coal I can't remember. So we walk off to our offices and start our day. A little while later, I'm out having a smoke and this nice girl from accounting starts talking to me. I tell her about the elevator, and she says "I can make it all better for you." So we're walking to her car when a couple o' guys who were up to no good, Started makin' trouble in my neighborhood. I got in one little fight and my mom got scared, She said 'You're movin with your auntie and uncle in Bel-Air!' I whistled for a cab and when i came near, The license plate said 'Fresh', And had dice in the mirror, If anything i could say that this cab was rare, But I thought 'Nah, forget it - Yo, home to Bel-Air!' I pulled up to the house at bout seven or eight, I yelled to the cabbie 'Yo home, smell ya later!' I looked at my kingdom, I was finally there, To sit on my throne as the prince of Bel-Air

    Scuba Steve damn you, I mean Redimpulse

    casper_27d on
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    Bad-BeatBad-Beat Registered User regular
    edited March 2008
    So are you out then?

    Bad-Beat on
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    EinhanderEinhander __BANNED USERS regular
    edited March 2008
    casper_27d wrote: »
    I can't wait until I can actually attend a PAX, 2009 here I come.

    Tell them you have reliable information that religious extremist terrorists will be at PAX and maybe they'll send you there.

    Einhander on
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    KarlKarl Registered User regular
    edited March 2008
    redimpulse wrote: »
    I had the worst dream last night guys (long read, but great)
    I have a nasty fear of falling. The elevators where I work are really good at giving me a scare, jumping about and abruptly stopping mid-floor and whatnot. Prelude over
    I'm riding up to my (the top) floor and there's some other guy in there with me. Well the elevator starts acting like a bitch and all and starts to freefall. For quite some time, much longer than it'd take to fall 13 stories. Somehow, during the fall, I make it outside the elevator, on the top holding on to a cable. Eventually the brakes apply and we come to a halt. I make it back in, and the elevator starts going up again.

    Eventually, we're in the elevator suspended over a construction site. Not sure how, but fuck it's a dream so fuck you. We start swinging the elevator so we can jump off onto the [ground], and are successful. I jumped first, and right after he jumps the elevator goes crashing down through the shaft, followed by tons of unexplained rocks and maybe coal I can't remember. So we walk off to our offices and start our day. A little while later, I'm out having a smoke and this nice girl from accounting starts talking to me. I tell her about the elevator, and she says "I can make it all better for you." So we're walking to her car when a couple o' guys who were up to no good, Started makin' trouble in my neighborhood. I got in one little fight and my mom got scared, She said 'You're movin with your auntie and uncle in Bel-Air!' I whistled for a cab and when i came near, The license plate said 'Fresh', And had dice in the mirror, If anything i could say that this cab was rare, But I thought 'Nah, forget it - Yo, home to Bel-Air!' I pulled up to the house at bout seven or eight, I yelled to the cabbie 'Yo home, smell ya later!' I looked at my kingdom, I was finally there, To sit on my throne as the prince of Bel-Air

    Son of a bitch i always fall for these.

    Karl on
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    redimpulseredimpulse Registered User regular
    edited March 2008
    Bad-Beat wrote: »
    So are you out then?
    No actually I woke up as we were walking to the car

    redimpulse on
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    casper_27dcasper_27d The Friendly Ghost EverywhereRegistered User regular
    edited March 2008
    Einhander wrote: »
    casper_27d wrote: »
    I can't wait until I can actually attend a PAX, 2009 here I come.

    Tell them you have reliable information that religious extremist terrorists will be at PAX and maybe they'll send you there.

    I am in the process of reenlisting for a couple more years and one of the options is getting stationed at Fort Lewis, I only have to conivince the girl to marry me and move there, that shouldn't be that hard. Or I will just fly there for the event, but I would rather live there.

    casper_27d on
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    BlackCloudBlackCloud Registered User regular
    edited March 2008
    Einhander wrote: »
    casper_27d wrote: »
    I stil think I have quite an advantage, I am in the middle of the desert with a bunch of guys in a country that doesnt allow porn, with restricted internet access and very very little time when I am actually in a position to do it. Also I rarely did it, do it any ways.

    So what you're saying is you want your name changed from red to pink?

    There are many a porno that start like that.

    BlackCloud on
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
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    EinhanderEinhander __BANNED USERS regular
    edited March 2008
    Casper I will mail you a tape or cd contraining cheesy synthesised porn music, and a small boombox you could hide somewhere, like under a bed.

    Then, you could walk into your tent or whatever where all the dudes are hanging out and be like "Man, this desert heat sure is hot. I'd better take my shirt off", and then, right after you take it off, you stealthily bump the play button with your foot.

    Einhander on
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    StraightziStraightzi Here we may reign secure, and in my choice, To reign is worth ambition though in HellRegistered User regular
    edited March 2008
    Malkor wrote: »
    I'm done I guess. I made a 'special friend' last night, but nothing came of it so after she left I downloaded some 'shops of Rachel Ray. It really wasn't worth it.

    wait are you saying you're out because you were seeing a hooker but she left you blue balled so you jerked it to Rachel Ray? Because that's what's going in the OP.

    Straightzi on
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    SageinaRageSageinaRage Registered User regular
    edited March 2008
    Straightzi wrote: »
    Malkor wrote: »
    I'm done I guess. I made a 'special friend' last night, but nothing came of it so after she left I downloaded some 'shops of Rachel Ray. It really wasn't worth it.

    wait are you saying you're out because you were seeing a hooker but she left you blue balled so you jerked it to Rachel Ray? Because that's what's going in the OP.

    He can only get off to photoshops. Real women only do it for him if they're blurry.

    SageinaRage on
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    EinhanderEinhander __BANNED USERS regular
    edited March 2008
    I'd put my penis in Rachel Ray. She loud and annoying most of the time, but she's not too bad looking and she's energetic, so she might be good in the sack.

    Plus, when we're done, I could tell her to get her ass in the kitchen and make me a casserole or something, and whatever she made would probably be really good.

    Also Casper good luck with getting stationed where you would like.

    Einhander on
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    BoredGamerBoredGamer Registered User regular
    edited March 2008
    Rachel Ray?

    Who?

    BoredGamer on
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    casper_27dcasper_27d The Friendly Ghost EverywhereRegistered User regular
    edited March 2008
    Einhander wrote: »
    Casper I will mail you a tape or cd contraining cheesy synthesised porn music, and a small boombox you could hide somewhere, like under a bed.

    Then, you could walk into your tent or whatever where all the dudes are hanging out and be like "Man, this desert heat sure is hot. I'd better take my shirt off", and then, right after you take it off, you stealthily bump the play button with your foot.

    Is now a god time to mention that I bought a Sony digital comcorder with a 30 gig hard drive just before I came out here (it even has night vision)

    casper_27d on
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    MalkorMalkor Registered User regular
    edited March 2008
    Straightzi wrote: »
    Malkor wrote: »
    I'm done I guess. I made a 'special friend' last night, but nothing came of it so after she left I downloaded some 'shops of Rachel Ray. It really wasn't worth it.

    wait are you saying you're out because you were seeing a hooker but she left you blue balled so you jerked it to Rachel Ray? Because that's what's going in the OP.

    He can only get off to photoshops. Real women only do it for him if they're blurry.

    Well I never asked her what she did for a living. She was one of those girls with zero personality.

    Malkor on
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    redfenixredfenix Aka'd as rfix Registered User regular
    edited March 2008
    BoredGamer wrote: »
    Rachel Ray?

    Who?

    haha what

    redfenix on
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    MaydayMayday Cutting edge goblin tech Registered User regular
    edited March 2008
    Ok, I'm leaving tomorrow so you can paint me red now. This is prone to change though.

    Mayday on
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    SzechuanosaurusSzechuanosaurus Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited March 2008
    Jesus. She makes me scared to look at food.

    Szechuanosaurus on
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    EinhanderEinhander __BANNED USERS regular
    edited March 2008
    Check out the stuff she did for FHM. It's not too bad.

    Not saying she's a super hottie or anything, but I wouldn't say no if she wanted to rub our genitals together.

    Einhander on
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    BoredGamerBoredGamer Registered User regular
    edited March 2008
    Ok, so after today I won't have much access to the internet, this is both a blessing and a curse. It means I get less temptation, but it also means I gotta find something to waste time.

    I think I am gonna have to dig out Chrono Trigger.

    BoredGamer on
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    SzechuanosaurusSzechuanosaurus Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited March 2008
    Einhander wrote: »
    Check out the stuff she did for FHM. It's not too bad.

    Not saying she's a super hottie or anything, but I wouldn't say no if she wanted to rub our genitals together.

    I don't know, it's like...

    What the fuck is she so happy about?

    I'm seeing food, you're a bit overweight, you're probably more naked than you really should be and yet...this improbably huge grin on your face, at all times...has your brain been touched by God?

    I'm not sure I'd feel comfortable boning a retarded girl.

    Szechuanosaurus on
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    Charles KinboteCharles Kinbote Registered User regular
    edited March 2008
    still in, not enough PMs

    except for fiz and redeemer

    because as far as they are concerned, no more PMs

    Charles Kinbote on
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    bongibongi regular
    edited March 2008
    shank i met you in a dream last night and you were really really gay

    bongi on
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    CampionCampion Registered User regular
    edited March 2008
    Still in.
    There is too much erotic literature in this thread.
    I will have to read other threads.

    Campion on
    4484-7718-8470
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    Charles KinboteCharles Kinbote Registered User regular
    edited March 2008
    bongi wrote: »
    shank i met you in a dream last night and you were really really gay

    that's funny

    I almost had a wet dream last night but right before it became as such it became a lucid dream and I was such as "FUCK THIS" and everything exploded into bubbles

    Charles Kinbote on
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    bongibongi regular
    edited March 2008
    bongi wrote: »
    shank i met you in a dream last night and you were really really gay

    that's funny

    I almost had a wet dream last night but right before it became as such it became a lucid dream and I was such as "FUCK THIS" and everything exploded into bubbles

    actually i don't think i met you i was walking down this street and you went past surrounded by a gaggle of girls and you sounded really gay

    bongi on
This discussion has been closed.