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A dreaded "Help me with this girl" Thread.
Zine
Registered User regular
Registered User regular
Ok guys, I don't really want to ask you guys a girl question but everyone around here is not giving me any clear advice or answers. So I turn to the interwebs, oh great ones of the interwebs hear my plea!
Ok So enough with the funny stuff and down to the question.
I work with this girl, I shall call her "Short One." Well I kinda like Short One and while we don't have a lot in common, we have one or two things in common and I think it would be worth a try to go out on a date or two and see where things go. However, Short One has said to me once or twice that she doesn't date co-workers and I said ok, thats fine we can be friends. That was about a year ago when we first started at this job.
Now during that year we have become friends, not close friends but we talk on MSN a lot, never been out together or anything but we do talk maybe 3-4 times a week outside of seeing each other at work. However I find that there is a LOT and I mean a fair amount of flirting going back and forth, in fact about 3 months back she was in the back room changing and I went to get some water and I knocked on the door and asked if she could give me a bottle or two of water for a guest and her reply was to the effect of "Well I could give you the water but then you would be looking at my naked but. Do you want to look at my naked butt?" Now to me that sounds like an open invitation to something, I don't know what but it must mean something. Unfortunately my reply was "maybe later" which in all fairness was an ok response but it the invitation did catch me off guard.
So ok, I am getting side tracked into a whole other problem. The fact of the matter is after I had that encounter with Short One, I started to think about going out with her again and I finally made up my mind here a few days ago to send some daisies (sp?) to her at work. I decided to not put my name and guage the reaction when I got here and then if I thought things were all cool, I would tell her it was me. However when I got here last night she kinda ignored me and she left early claiming that she was sick. Now the kicker to all this is she left the flowers here. She put them out in the hotel lobby and when I played dumb and said why don't you take them home, she shot the question down and said they would look better here.
Now, from the reports of the two people that were here when the flowers came, she loves daisies and she was really happy when she got the flowers. However she doesn't know who they were from, she was apparently trying to go through a list of people it might be and I was on the list but apparently very far down the list.
So now I don't know what to think, does she like me and is just saying the Co-worker thing so that I will go after her and try and win her affection even though I know she doesn't want it? Or is it a case where she has no interest in me what so ever and I am getting the wrong idea from what I think is flirting but is actually harmless joking?
I really have no idea, any advice would be awesome. I am kinda timid from lack of experience with girls even though I am 22, so I second guess myself alot. Hopefully I am wrong this time and she is interested.
Ok So enough with the funny stuff and down to the question.
I work with this girl, I shall call her "Short One." Well I kinda like Short One and while we don't have a lot in common, we have one or two things in common and I think it would be worth a try to go out on a date or two and see where things go. However, Short One has said to me once or twice that she doesn't date co-workers and I said ok, thats fine we can be friends. That was about a year ago when we first started at this job.
Now during that year we have become friends, not close friends but we talk on MSN a lot, never been out together or anything but we do talk maybe 3-4 times a week outside of seeing each other at work. However I find that there is a LOT and I mean a fair amount of flirting going back and forth, in fact about 3 months back she was in the back room changing and I went to get some water and I knocked on the door and asked if she could give me a bottle or two of water for a guest and her reply was to the effect of "Well I could give you the water but then you would be looking at my naked but. Do you want to look at my naked butt?" Now to me that sounds like an open invitation to something, I don't know what but it must mean something. Unfortunately my reply was "maybe later" which in all fairness was an ok response but it the invitation did catch me off guard.
So ok, I am getting side tracked into a whole other problem. The fact of the matter is after I had that encounter with Short One, I started to think about going out with her again and I finally made up my mind here a few days ago to send some daisies (sp?) to her at work. I decided to not put my name and guage the reaction when I got here and then if I thought things were all cool, I would tell her it was me. However when I got here last night she kinda ignored me and she left early claiming that she was sick. Now the kicker to all this is she left the flowers here. She put them out in the hotel lobby and when I played dumb and said why don't you take them home, she shot the question down and said they would look better here.
Now, from the reports of the two people that were here when the flowers came, she loves daisies and she was really happy when she got the flowers. However she doesn't know who they were from, she was apparently trying to go through a list of people it might be and I was on the list but apparently very far down the list.
So now I don't know what to think, does she like me and is just saying the Co-worker thing so that I will go after her and try and win her affection even though I know she doesn't want it? Or is it a case where she has no interest in me what so ever and I am getting the wrong idea from what I think is flirting but is actually harmless joking?
I really have no idea, any advice would be awesome. I am kinda timid from lack of experience with girls even though I am 22, so I second guess myself alot. Hopefully I am wrong this time and she is interested.
Zine on
0
Posts
Try something else.
If I were in your shoes I'd ignore her for a while to see if she's playing the 'catch me if you can' bullshit that a lot of girls like to play. As in no contact outside of work. Don't be cold, just a little aloof. If she asks you "whats up with you" then you'll know that the sudden lack of attention she's getting from you bothers her.
Tip: Anonymous declarations of affection are creepy. And I'm not sure what you were expecting... The only way to tell her it was you would be to apologise for it. Something along the lines of "Look, I freaked out and realise that it was a little weird... But I didnt know how to ask you out". It might push it into the "cute" arena...
Do ask her out in a simple, straightforward manner. "Hey, do you want to get some lunch with me sometime?" would work well. If she says no, say, "Oh well, it was worth a shot. Hey, did you see that scary guy in the Canadian tuxedo?" or whatever chatting-at-work topic you normally talk about, and never bring it up again. She doesn't want to date guys at work because it can cause drama, so you don't even want to make a ripple in the drama pond.
You didn't put your name on them, which is good -- you can ignore it. She was going through the list of people she expected to "pull a prank" on her -- which is what random flowers at work HOPEFULLY means. You hope it's just some friend of yours playing with you. And then you get down to the people you hope DIDN'T send you the flowers, because that means they were being creepy.
Unfortunately, you did this, so that means that unless you want to be seen as "creepy guy," you can't really ask her out for a few weeks. Put it this way -- try to swing the flowers as making you jealous, rather than flattering her. As in, you see that she got flowers, you assume that she now has a boyfriend, so you decide to play it safe. And if it comes up, you have an out: "oh, well i thought you had a new boyfriend since you got flowers, so I didn't want to intrude." It'd be a perfect way to gauge interest, but yeah, I'd say "chill" for a few weeks. Otherwise she's going to peg you as the flower sender, and then you've struck out.
BRILLIANT!!!
And FYI, sending a girl flowers only works in Disney movies. In the real world, it sets off the creepy stalker alarm for them.
The key is for the next few weeks, play it cool, laugh and joke with her. GO out and do some fun things (i.e. concerts, clubs, parties, whatever) and DONT invite her. But make sure she knows youre going out and doing these things, then after a week or two, drop a casual invite for her to come out with you, but NEVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER ask her on a "date". It puts waaay too much pressure on the situation when you use the "D" word. Instead if you are just casually inviting her to tag along with you, its a lot less akward to bring her back to your place and just "let things happen"
Counter-intuitive?
Yes.
Does it make sense?
No.
DOES IT WORK?
Oh hell yeah.