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In a long distance relationship? Post your tips here!

Project MayhemProject Mayhem Registered User regular
edited March 2008 in Help / Advice Forum
Hello all,

You guys have been good with advice when it relates to me, so I thought I'd ask this here. I also would hope this thread would help others in the same situation, as I'm sure it's not rare.

Obviously I'd like any tips you guys would have on long distance relationships. I'm not exactly new to this, however I haven't had one last this long either.

So I'll start with the prerequisite facts. I just turned 23 and she's about to turn 21, and we've just passed the 9 month mark. Clearly we like each other, or we wouldn't be subjecting ourselves this. In fact, the distance isn't even THAT bad, it's just that we're both busy. We spent the first 2 months together, and she normally lives where I do, but goes to school 2 hours away. We are completely open and honest with each other, which is amazing, and I've never clicked with someone like I have with her. We're both in creative fields which are pretty demanding, I focus in audio production and she does visual design.

My problem is I don't want to smother her. I spend my time working a full time job that pays pretty decent for my age, but I really need to find an internship to finally graduate college, so I'm on that search as well. My problem is I procrastinate and I have a hard time focusing, so sometimes I'll deviate and become lazy, which I've become better at controlling lately. When I am lazy, I'll end up missing her, moreso than I should.

However recently it has been more frustrating. She had been planning on staying back home all summer, but that's changed. She has an interview for an internship 8 hours from here for the summer. I really want her to get this, because I know it will be an amazing chance for her, and I'm prepared to support her however I can, but... you know, there's the small disappointment in the back of my head. We've talked about this, and we both agree it's bittersweet. To add salt to the wound, her interview is coming up when we had a trip to Chicago planned, so that's been cancelled.

I just want to know how you guys cope with being away from the person you care about for a long period of time. We're pretty good at showing each other how we feel... I'm just more interested if there's any thoughts on how to spend the extra time in between.

As a thank you for reading my post, I present you with my cat Hobbes, which we both picked out for me, who has done a good job at keeping me entertained while I'm home alone.

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Project Mayhem on

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    GuffreyGuffrey Registered User regular
    edited March 2008
    My (then) girlfriend (now) fiancee and I knew each other for a few years before we dated. She lived in Florida at the time, and would come visit a mutual friend of ours in the summer. Well, we eventually started talking more, found out her family was moving back in May 07'. She came to visit her grandparents a few hours away from me that January, so I drove down to visit. We officially started dating that day, and for the most part spent the next four months apart.

    The most obvious answer is see each other whenever possible. After our first date in January, we were able to spend two days together in Feb., and spring break together in March. Also what helped us out a lot was webcams. Being able to talk on the phone, and at the same time see each other, really helped to ease the distance. Best of luck, Im sure it will all work out!

    Guffrey on
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    DarkPrimusDarkPrimus Registered User regular
    edited March 2008
    Talk however you can... IM, webcam, phone, whatever, but do it as often as possible.

    I only get to see my girlfriend once every few months, but we talk most nights of the week.

    DarkPrimus on
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    Dulcius_ex_asperisDulcius_ex_asperis Registered User regular
    edited March 2008
    I'd say don't do it (talk) as often as you can. This can be smothering for some people. Just talk about as often as you do normally. If you talk every chance you get, it makes you miss each other more, and it also makes you run out of new things to talk about.

    Dulcius_ex_asperis on
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