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Another Way Schools Are Failing Our Kids

135678

Posts

  • JebusUDJebusUD Adventure! Candy IslandRegistered User regular
    edited March 2008
    Nova_C wrote: »
    wawkin wrote: »
    I was that kid who couldn't fight back. Even to this day I doubt I'd know how. All my life I heard "Hey, just fight back and they'll leave you alone!" from everyone - teachers, my parents, whatever. All it did was make me feel even more worthless because obviously something was wrong with me if I couldn't fix it.

    Perplexing. I was the kid who always fought back. And every authority, including parents, kept telling me to stop fighting back. For a short time, I thought I was wrong for, what I saw as, standing up for myself.

    Well, I guess the answer is to not be bullied. We're all victims by choice, right?

    Well, If you walk through a town called rapeville drinking a roofie cocktail you mixed yourself dont be surprised with what happens.

    JebusUD on
    and I wonder about my neighbors even though I don't have them
    but they're listening to every word I say
  • ViolentChemistryViolentChemistry __BANNED USERS regular
    edited March 2008
    Yeah, blaming the victim is a great idea. An even better idea than suspending the victim for getting punched, as was standard procedure at my school.

    ViolentChemistry on
  • JebusUDJebusUD Adventure! Candy IslandRegistered User regular
    edited March 2008
    Yeah, blaming the victim is a great idea. An even better idea than suspending the victim for getting punched, as was standard procedure at my school.

    It is clearly not the victims fault ultimately. But still one does themselves no favors by tempting fate.

    JebusUD on
    and I wonder about my neighbors even though I don't have them
    but they're listening to every word I say
  • wawkinwawkin Registered User regular
    edited March 2008
    JebusUD wrote: »
    Yeah, blaming the victim is a great idea. An even better idea than suspending the victim for getting punched, as was standard procedure at my school.

    It is clearly not the victims fault ultimately. But still one does themselves no favors by tempting fate.

    I trid to express this earlier and failed.

    wawkin on
    Talkin to the robbery expert.

    "This is where I say something profound and you bow, so lets just skip to your part."
  • MagicPrimeMagicPrime FiresideWizard Registered User regular
    edited March 2008
    JebusUD wrote: »
    Yeah, blaming the victim is a great idea. An even better idea than suspending the victim for getting punched, as was standard procedure at my school.

    It is clearly not the victims fault ultimately. But still one does themselves no favors by tempting fate.

    Any what about the withdrawn nerdy kid who randomly gets his head shoved into a locker door without any prior provocation or interaction?

    MagicPrime on
    BNet • magicprime#1430 | PSN/Steam • MagicPrime | Origin • FireSideWizard
    Critical Failures - Havenhold CampaignAugust St. Cloud (Human Ranger)
  • StarcrossStarcross Registered User regular
    edited March 2008
    JebusUD wrote: »
    Yeah, blaming the victim is a great idea. An even better idea than suspending the victim for getting punched, as was standard procedure at my school.

    It is clearly not the victims fault ultimately. But still one does themselves no favors by tempting fate.

    Define "tempting fate".

    Starcross on
  • JebusUDJebusUD Adventure! Candy IslandRegistered User regular
    edited March 2008
    MagicPrime wrote: »
    JebusUD wrote: »
    Yeah, blaming the victim is a great idea. An even better idea than suspending the victim for getting punched, as was standard procedure at my school.

    It is clearly not the victims fault ultimately. But still one does themselves no favors by tempting fate.

    Any what about the withdrawn nerdy kid who randomly gets his head shoved into a locker door without any prior provocation or interaction?

    Ive never seen things like that just randomly happen, though it probably does at times, but if it had happened to me I would come back swinging.

    You gotta make those fuckers pay man. Clearly administration isnt going to in most schools. If someone does not fight back it is not their fault they are getting bullied, but they sure aren't helping themselves.

    JebusUD on
    and I wonder about my neighbors even though I don't have them
    but they're listening to every word I say
  • JebusUDJebusUD Adventure! Candy IslandRegistered User regular
    edited March 2008
    Starcross wrote: »
    JebusUD wrote: »
    Yeah, blaming the victim is a great idea. An even better idea than suspending the victim for getting punched, as was standard procedure at my school.

    It is clearly not the victims fault ultimately. But still one does themselves no favors by tempting fate.

    Define "tempting fate".

    Doing somthing that you know will probably have a bad outcome but still hoping it will have a good outcome.

    JebusUD on
    and I wonder about my neighbors even though I don't have them
    but they're listening to every word I say
  • wawkinwawkin Registered User regular
    edited March 2008
    JebusUD wrote: »
    MagicPrime wrote: »
    JebusUD wrote: »
    Yeah, blaming the victim is a great idea. An even better idea than suspending the victim for getting punched, as was standard procedure at my school.

    It is clearly not the victims fault ultimately. But still one does themselves no favors by tempting fate.

    Any what about the withdrawn nerdy kid who randomly gets his head shoved into a locker door without any prior provocation or interaction?

    Ive never seen things like that just randomly happen, though it probably does at times, but if it had happened to me I would come back swinging.

    You gotta make those fuckers pay man. Clearly administration isnt going to in most schools. If someone does not fight back it is not their fault they are getting bullied, but they sure aren't helping themselves.

    Good luck passing that through. I agree with you, but I sense a majority mentality towards the victim is one lacking in assignment of responsibility. I look at it closer to this: Billy has been picked on for 4 years. If Billy hasn't figured out, after 4 years, how to avoid/prevent/stop the bullying, then Billy is in for a very long, nightmarish existence.

    wawkin on
    Talkin to the robbery expert.

    "This is where I say something profound and you bow, so lets just skip to your part."
  • Rhan9Rhan9 Registered User regular
    edited March 2008
    JebusUD wrote: »
    MagicPrime wrote: »
    JebusUD wrote: »
    Yeah, blaming the victim is a great idea. An even better idea than suspending the victim for getting punched, as was standard procedure at my school.

    It is clearly not the victims fault ultimately. But still one does themselves no favors by tempting fate.

    Any what about the withdrawn nerdy kid who randomly gets his head shoved into a locker door without any prior provocation or interaction?

    Ive never seen things like that just randomly happen, though it probably does at times, but if it had happened to me I would come back swinging.

    You gotta make those fuckers pay man. Clearly administration isnt going to in most schools. If someone does not fight back it is not their fault they are getting bullied, but they sure aren't helping themselves.

    Indeed. Someone takes a swing at me due to no fault of my own, they're pretty much guaranteed to be paid back with interest. I do understand though, that some people would be reluctant to fight back, as the bullies tend to pick on those with less impressive physique than their own. Bullies are often total pussies, so it doesn't take a lot to discourage them.

    Nova, what you said was pretty interesting, mainly because it is such a different way at seeing the situation from my own view. What did you mean that you just couldn't fight back? (I realise you said that you can't explain it, but could you try? I'm interested in the mindset, as it's pretty much my polar opposite)

    Rhan9 on
  • wawkinwawkin Registered User regular
    edited March 2008
    JebusUD wrote: »
    Starcross wrote: »
    JebusUD wrote: »
    Yeah, blaming the victim is a great idea. An even better idea than suspending the victim for getting punched, as was standard procedure at my school.

    It is clearly not the victims fault ultimately. But still one does themselves no favors by tempting fate.

    Define "tempting fate".

    Doing somthing that you know will probably have a bad outcome but still hoping it will have a good outcome.

    You mean like....
    Pissing off a bully that was pining away for a reason to hit you that would make them look socially superior when they did?

    wawkin on
    Talkin to the robbery expert.

    "This is where I say something profound and you bow, so lets just skip to your part."
  • FencingsaxFencingsax It is difficult to get a man to understand, when his salary depends upon his not understanding GNU Terry PratchettRegistered User regular
    edited March 2008
    wawkin wrote: »
    JebusUD wrote: »
    MagicPrime wrote: »
    JebusUD wrote: »
    Yeah, blaming the victim is a great idea. An even better idea than suspending the victim for getting punched, as was standard procedure at my school.

    It is clearly not the victims fault ultimately. But still one does themselves no favors by tempting fate.

    Any what about the withdrawn nerdy kid who randomly gets his head shoved into a locker door without any prior provocation or interaction?

    Ive never seen things like that just randomly happen, though it probably does at times, but if it had happened to me I would come back swinging.

    You gotta make those fuckers pay man. Clearly administration isnt going to in most schools. If someone does not fight back it is not their fault they are getting bullied, but they sure aren't helping themselves.

    Good luck passing that through. I agree with you, but I sense a majority mentality towards the victim is one lacking in assignment of responsibility. I look at it closer to this: Billy has been picked on for 4 years. If Billy hasn't figured out, after 4 years, how to avoid/prevent/stop the bullying, then Billy is in for a very long, nightmarish existence.
    So fuck him, right?

    Fencingsax on
  • wawkinwawkin Registered User regular
    edited March 2008
    Rhan9 wrote: »
    JebusUD wrote: »
    MagicPrime wrote: »
    JebusUD wrote: »
    Yeah, blaming the victim is a great idea. An even better idea than suspending the victim for getting punched, as was standard procedure at my school.

    It is clearly not the victims fault ultimately. But still one does themselves no favors by tempting fate.

    Any what about the withdrawn nerdy kid who randomly gets his head shoved into a locker door without any prior provocation or interaction?

    Ive never seen things like that just randomly happen, though it probably does at times, but if it had happened to me I would come back swinging.

    You gotta make those fuckers pay man. Clearly administration isnt going to in most schools. If someone does not fight back it is not their fault they are getting bullied, but they sure aren't helping themselves.

    Indeed. Someone takes a swing at me due to no fault of my own, they're pretty much guaranteed to be paid back with interest. I do understand though, that some people would be reluctant to fight back, as the bullies tend to pick on those with less impressive physique than their own. Bullies are often total pussies, so it doesn't take a lot to discourage them.

    Nova, what you said was pretty interesting, mainly because it is such a different way at seeing the situation from my own view. What did you mean that you just couldn't fight back? (I realise you said that you can't explain it, but could you try? I'm interested in the mindset, as it's pretty much my polar opposite)

    Perhaps just referring to the very basic generalization of passive versus agressive. A persons social interactions will be influenced by the degree, of either polar, their personality leans towards.

    wawkin on
    Talkin to the robbery expert.

    "This is where I say something profound and you bow, so lets just skip to your part."
  • JebusUDJebusUD Adventure! Candy IslandRegistered User regular
    edited March 2008
    wawkin wrote: »
    You mean like....
    Pissing off a bully that was pining away for a reason to hit you that would make them look socially superior when they did?

    Maybe. There is only so much verbal abuse one will take though.

    JebusUD on
    and I wonder about my neighbors even though I don't have them
    but they're listening to every word I say
  • JebusUDJebusUD Adventure! Candy IslandRegistered User regular
    edited March 2008
    Fencingsax wrote: »
    So fuck him, right?

    WHOA WHOA WHOA! Brakes! Time out! No one said that.

    Of course, even if there was a place called murderville where the victims were walking around with a kill me sign on their back, you would still want to stop the murderers.

    JebusUD on
    and I wonder about my neighbors even though I don't have them
    but they're listening to every word I say
  • OboroOboro __BANNED USERS regular
    edited March 2008
    Before I start just kicking asses in this thread, how do you guys feel that female students should deal with peer abuse? It's often of a far more passive-aggressive nature, but proven to be just as unhealthy for the recipient. Even if the girls wanted to just 'fight back,' there's no clear villain or mechanism for them to rail against. Nor, really, is there always one for the boys, but ...

    female peer abuse. How do you (wawkin, Jebus, I'm especially interested in you two) feel about that?

    Oboro on
    words
  • wawkinwawkin Registered User regular
    edited March 2008
    Fencingsax wrote: »
    wawkin wrote: »
    JebusUD wrote: »
    MagicPrime wrote: »
    JebusUD wrote: »
    Yeah, blaming the victim is a great idea. An even better idea than suspending the victim for getting punched, as was standard procedure at my school.

    It is clearly not the victims fault ultimately. But still one does themselves no favors by tempting fate.

    Any what about the withdrawn nerdy kid who randomly gets his head shoved into a locker door without any prior provocation or interaction?

    Ive never seen things like that just randomly happen, though it probably does at times, but if it had happened to me I would come back swinging.

    You gotta make those fuckers pay man. Clearly administration isnt going to in most schools. If someone does not fight back it is not their fault they are getting bullied, but they sure aren't helping themselves.

    Good luck passing that through. I agree with you, but I sense a majority mentality towards the victim is one lacking in assignment of responsibility. I look at it closer to this: Billy has been picked on for 4 years. If Billy hasn't figured out, after 4 years, how to avoid/prevent/stop the bullying, then Billy is in for a very long, nightmarish existence.
    So fuck him, right?

    How long will a person allow themselves to be victimized?
    If I knew Billy and had a personal stake in his survival, my perspective would change. I would be even less sympathetic and more adamant about taking a stand. And more than willing to invlove my own person.

    However, I do not kow Billy. I have no stake in his survival and he has clearly decided not to take matters into his own hands. If you won't stand up for yourself, how can you expect others to stand up for you?
    So fuck him, right?
    In a word? Yea.

    wawkin on
    Talkin to the robbery expert.

    "This is where I say something profound and you bow, so lets just skip to your part."
  • ViolentChemistryViolentChemistry __BANNED USERS regular
    edited March 2008
    It is insane to expect everyone who gets picked on to be Rambo.

    ViolentChemistry on
  • QuidQuid Definitely not a banana Registered User regular
    edited March 2008
    JebusUD wrote: »
    WHOA WHOA WHOA! Brakes! Time out! No one said that.
    wawkin wrote: »
    So fuck him, right?
    In a word? Yea.

    I chuckled to myself. Mostly because I saw it coming.

    Quid on
  • Nova_CNova_C I have the need The need for speedRegistered User regular
    edited March 2008
    Rhan9 wrote: »
    Nova, what you said was pretty interesting, mainly because it is such a different way at seeing the situation from my own view. What did you mean that you just couldn't fight back? (I realise you said that you can't explain it, but could you try? I'm interested in the mindset, as it's pretty much my polar opposite)

    I dunno. In the moments that I would be being attacked, fighting back would not enter my mind. It would after, of course, but during the attack, my mind would blank. I've always been like that.

    Nova_C on
  • JebusUDJebusUD Adventure! Candy IslandRegistered User regular
    edited March 2008
    Oboro wrote: »
    Before I start just kicking asses in this thread, how do you guys feel that female students should deal with peer abuse? It's often of a far more passive-aggressive nature, but proven to be just as unhealthy for the recipient. Even if the girls wanted to just 'fight back,' there's no clear villain or mechanism for them to rail against. Nor, really, is there always one for the boys, but ...

    female peer abuse. How do you (wawkin, Jebus, I'm especially interested in you two) feel about that?

    I feel hungry.

    Actually I dont really know how a girl would deal with that optimally.

    JebusUD on
    and I wonder about my neighbors even though I don't have them
    but they're listening to every word I say
  • FencingsaxFencingsax It is difficult to get a man to understand, when his salary depends upon his not understanding GNU Terry PratchettRegistered User regular
    edited March 2008
    JebusUD wrote: »
    Fencingsax wrote: »
    So fuck him, right?

    WHOA WHOA WHOA! Brakes! Time out! No one said that.

    Of course, even if there was a place called murderville where the victims were walking around with a kill me sign on their back, you would still want to stop the murderers.
    You know how I was saying I was damn lucky not to be bullied? This was generally because I was the smallest kid in my grade, and the grade below mine. Now according to you, if I didn't fight back when I was bullied, it would be my fault.

    Fencingsax on
  • Robos A Go GoRobos A Go Go Registered User regular
    edited March 2008
    It is insane to expect everyone who gets picked on to be Rambo.

    And when you consider the very qualities that lead to you being picked on, it seems to me that the majority of victims lack the ability to fight back.

    Robos A Go Go on
  • ViolentChemistryViolentChemistry __BANNED USERS regular
    edited March 2008
    Oboro wrote: »
    Before I start just kicking asses in this thread, how do you guys feel that female students should deal with peer abuse? It's often of a far more passive-aggressive nature, but proven to be just as unhealthy for the recipient. Even if the girls wanted to just 'fight back,' there's no clear villain or mechanism for them to rail against. Nor, really, is there always one for the boys, but ...

    female peer abuse. How do you (wawkin, Jebus, I'm especially interested in you two) feel about that?
    The bullies' actual-peers have more power to effectively end this shit than any official authority-figures do. While apparently many schools are retarded in handling this kind of thing, losing social support from the rest of the popular-kids costs bullies/abusers a great deal of their power.

    Kids need to be taught much earlier on that there's this rather annoying tagalong that comes along with power. But it's there, and if you don't acknowledge it you're in the wrong.

    ViolentChemistry on
  • JebusUDJebusUD Adventure! Candy IslandRegistered User regular
    edited March 2008
    Quid wrote: »
    JebusUD wrote: »
    WHOA WHOA WHOA! Brakes! Time out! No one said that.
    wawkin wrote: »
    So fuck him, right?
    In a word? Yea.

    I chuckled to myself. Mostly because I saw it coming.

    I should have. :(

    The ultimate cause is the bully doing to bullying. The person not fighting back is only the proximate cause. So no, not fuck him. But if they have a way to try to stop it and no one is stopping the ultimate cause then they should try to stop it.

    If they don't it is still not their fault.

    JebusUD on
    and I wonder about my neighbors even though I don't have them
    but they're listening to every word I say
  • wawkinwawkin Registered User regular
    edited March 2008
    Oboro wrote: »
    Before I start just kicking asses in this thread, how do you guys feel that female students should deal with peer abuse? It's often of a far more passive-aggressive nature, but proven to be just as unhealthy for the recipient. Even if the girls wanted to just 'fight back,' there's no clear villain or mechanism for them to rail against. Nor, really, is there always one for the boys, but ...

    female peer abuse. How do you (wawkin, Jebus, I'm especially interested in you two) feel about that?

    I feel female peer abuse boils down to letting others judgements of your self affet your own selfesteem/self worth. I can definitely see that being a much more difficult battle to fight. The usual responses are try to emulte the people who deface them or embrace the label of outcast. Both I'd consider unhealthy. I think ignoring female peer abuse is the better alternative - especially if there is no threat of violence.

    These days, without a serious threat to my livelihood, I don't even pay attention to potential bullies.

    wawkin on
    Talkin to the robbery expert.

    "This is where I say something profound and you bow, so lets just skip to your part."
  • FencingsaxFencingsax It is difficult to get a man to understand, when his salary depends upon his not understanding GNU Terry PratchettRegistered User regular
    edited March 2008
    It is insane to expect everyone who gets picked on to be Rambo.

    And when you consider the very qualities that lead to you being picked on, it seems to me that the majority of victims lack the ability to fight back.
    Generally, it's the most sought after quality. The second being alone, of course.

    Fencingsax on
  • JebusUDJebusUD Adventure! Candy IslandRegistered User regular
    edited March 2008
    Fencingsax wrote: »
    JebusUD wrote: »
    Fencingsax wrote: »
    So fuck him, right?

    WHOA WHOA WHOA! Brakes! Time out! No one said that.

    Of course, even if there was a place called murderville where the victims were walking around with a kill me sign on their back, you would still want to stop the murderers.
    You know how I was saying I was damn lucky not to be bullied? This was generally because I was the smallest kid in my grade, and the grade below mine. Now according to you, if I didn't fight back when I was bullied, it would be my fault.

    No that is not what I said at all. Read my post before this one.

    JebusUD on
    and I wonder about my neighbors even though I don't have them
    but they're listening to every word I say
  • OboroOboro __BANNED USERS regular
    edited March 2008
    wawkin wrote: »
    Oboro wrote: »
    Before I start just kicking asses in this thread, how do you guys feel that female students should deal with peer abuse? It's often of a far more passive-aggressive nature, but proven to be just as unhealthy for the recipient. Even if the girls wanted to just 'fight back,' there's no clear villain or mechanism for them to rail against. Nor, really, is there always one for the boys, but ...

    female peer abuse. How do you (wawkin, Jebus, I'm especially interested in you two) feel about that?

    I feel female peer abuse boils down to letting others judgements of your self affet your own selfesteem/self worth. I can definitely see that being a much more difficult battle to fight. The usual responses are try to emulte the people who deface them or embrace the label of outcast. Both I'd consider unhealthy. I think ignoring female peer abuse is the better alternative - especially if there is no threat of violence.

    These days, without a serious threat to my livelihood, I don't even pay attention to potential bullies.
    WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU!

    Oboro on
    words
  • AldoAldo Hippo Hooray Registered User regular
    edited March 2008
    My female friend is being bullied in her boarding school, mostly for being the new kid in town and not looking like a Picasso painting... We tried to figure out a way to make the bullying less annoying, we figured the same things work as what boys usually resort to.

    Retaliation: Someone has been spreading lies about you? Get some dirt on them as well.
    Don't let words hurt you: Or rather, don't show that they hurt you.
    Humor: People say ridiculous things about you? Come up with even more ridiculous things about you.

    Naturally the problem remains that nothing is fool-proof. Some people will always be little bitches who are only out to hurt you in whatever way they can.

    Aldo on
  • FencingsaxFencingsax It is difficult to get a man to understand, when his salary depends upon his not understanding GNU Terry PratchettRegistered User regular
    edited March 2008
    wawkin wrote: »
    Oboro wrote: »
    Before I start just kicking asses in this thread, how do you guys feel that female students should deal with peer abuse? It's often of a far more passive-aggressive nature, but proven to be just as unhealthy for the recipient. Even if the girls wanted to just 'fight back,' there's no clear villain or mechanism for them to rail against. Nor, really, is there always one for the boys, but ...

    female peer abuse. How do you (wawkin, Jebus, I'm especially interested in you two) feel about that?

    I feel female peer abuse boils down to letting others judgements of your self affet your own selfesteem/self worth. I can definitely see that being a much more difficult battle to fight. The usual responses are try to emulte the people who deface them or embrace the label of outcast. Both I'd consider unhealthy. I think ignoring female peer abuse is the better alternative - especially if there is no threat of violence.

    These days, without a serious threat to my livelihood, I don't even pay attention to potential bullies.
    You don't really remember what childhood was like, do you?

    Fencingsax on
  • wawkinwawkin Registered User regular
    edited March 2008
    JebusUD wrote: »
    Quid wrote: »
    JebusUD wrote: »
    WHOA WHOA WHOA! Brakes! Time out! No one said that.
    wawkin wrote: »
    So fuck him, right?
    In a word? Yea.

    I chuckled to myself. Mostly because I saw it coming.

    I should have. :(

    The ultimate cause is the bully doing to bullying. The person not fighting back is only the proximate cause. So no, not fuck him. But if they have a way to try to stop it and no one is stopping the ultimate cause then they should try to stop it.

    If they don't it is still not their fault.

    I don't know. You can only hum the tune of the victim for so long. A main goal of growing up is learning how to deal with social interactions, isn't it? What happens when he's an adult and he's never fought his own battle? If it's not his fault for being condemned as a victim for the rest of his life, then whose fault is it?

    wawkin on
    Talkin to the robbery expert.

    "This is where I say something profound and you bow, so lets just skip to your part."
  • JebusUDJebusUD Adventure! Candy IslandRegistered User regular
    edited March 2008
    wawkin wrote: »
    JebusUD wrote: »
    Quid wrote: »
    JebusUD wrote: »
    WHOA WHOA WHOA! Brakes! Time out! No one said that.
    wawkin wrote: »
    So fuck him, right?
    In a word? Yea.

    I chuckled to myself. Mostly because I saw it coming.

    I should have. :(

    The ultimate cause is the bully doing to bullying. The person not fighting back is only the proximate cause. So no, not fuck him. But if they have a way to try to stop it and no one is stopping the ultimate cause then they should try to stop it.

    If they don't it is still not their fault.

    I don't know. You can only hum the tune of the victim for so long. A main goal of growing up is learning how to deal with social interactions, isn't it? What happens when he's an adult and he's never fought his own battle? If it's not his fault for being condemned as a victim for the rest of his life, then whose fault is it?

    Maybe.... iunno.... the victimizers

    JebusUD on
    and I wonder about my neighbors even though I don't have them
    but they're listening to every word I say
  • QuidQuid Definitely not a banana Registered User regular
    edited March 2008
    Fencingsax wrote: »
    You don't really remember what childhood was like, do you?
    There'd be way less bullying if children and teenagers just acted and thought like adults.

    Quid on
  • AldoAldo Hippo Hooray Registered User regular
    edited March 2008
    First the complaint was that we don't know enough about the situation to condemn everyone who had it out for him. And now we're calling Wolfe a loser who never did anything against four years of bullying based on the same damned article providing not enough details on the situation.

    Right-o...

    Aldo on
  • wawkinwawkin Registered User regular
    edited March 2008
    Fencingsax wrote: »
    wawkin wrote: »
    Oboro wrote: »
    Before I start just kicking asses in this thread, how do you guys feel that female students should deal with peer abuse? It's often of a far more passive-aggressive nature, but proven to be just as unhealthy for the recipient. Even if the girls wanted to just 'fight back,' there's no clear villain or mechanism for them to rail against. Nor, really, is there always one for the boys, but ...

    female peer abuse. How do you (wawkin, Jebus, I'm especially interested in you two) feel about that?

    I feel female peer abuse boils down to letting others judgements of your self affet your own selfesteem/self worth. I can definitely see that being a much more difficult battle to fight. The usual responses are try to emulte the people who deface them or embrace the label of outcast. Both I'd consider unhealthy. I think ignoring female peer abuse is the better alternative - especially if there is no threat of violence.

    These days, without a serious threat to my livelihood, I don't even pay attention to potential bullies.
    You don't really remember what childhood was like, do you?

    I do, quite vividly. My younger days were quite harsh.
    Different experiences lead to different perspectives.

    wawkin on
    Talkin to the robbery expert.

    "This is where I say something profound and you bow, so lets just skip to your part."
  • Rhan9Rhan9 Registered User regular
    edited March 2008
    Nova_C wrote: »
    Rhan9 wrote: »
    Nova, what you said was pretty interesting, mainly because it is such a different way at seeing the situation from my own view. What did you mean that you just couldn't fight back? (I realise you said that you can't explain it, but could you try? I'm interested in the mindset, as it's pretty much my polar opposite)

    I dunno. In the moments that I would be being attacked, fighting back would not enter my mind. It would after, of course, but during the attack, my mind would blank. I've always been like that.

    That's pretty similar to what I experience, until I get hit and all shit gets loose. You'd just blank out for the whole "fight"?

    Actually, now that I think of it, I suppose I'd experience the same if I got hit by a girl. I just don't know how I'd respond in that situation. Most likely just stand there thinking : "She just hit me! What the hell?". I suppose your inability to fight in these situations is similar to what I experience when being against a girl. Shit, I can't even spar properly against them.

    Rhan9 on
  • Clint EastwoodClint Eastwood My baby's in there someplace She crawled right inRegistered User regular
    edited March 2008
    THIS JUST IN, PUBLIC SCHOOLS FUCKING SUCK

    MORE AT 11

    On a more serious note, my high school was fucking weird. I was practically the skinniest and nerdiest mother fucker there and somehow I only got punched once, and it was in retaliation because I hit this kid in the face with a basketball. He popped me one so we would both have matching bottom lips, we both said "Sorry dude" and moved on. High school is dumb.

    Clint Eastwood on
  • JebusUDJebusUD Adventure! Candy IslandRegistered User regular
    edited March 2008
    Cloudman wrote: »
    THIS JUST IN, PUBLIC SCHOOLS FUCKING SUCK

    MORE AT 11

    On a more serious note, my high school was fucking weird. I was practically the skinniest and nerdiest mother fucker there and somehow I only got punched once, and it was in retaliation because I hit this kid in the face with a basketball. He popped me one so we would both have matching bottom lips, we both said "Sorry dude" and moved on. High school is dumb.

    your school actally doesnt sound that bad.

    JebusUD on
    and I wonder about my neighbors even though I don't have them
    but they're listening to every word I say
  • AldoAldo Hippo Hooray Registered User regular
    edited March 2008
    Rhan9 wrote: »
    That's pretty similar to what I experience, until I get hit and all shit gets loose. You'd just blank out for the whole "fight"?

    Actually, now that I think of it, I suppose I'd experience the same if I got hit by a girl. I just don't know how I'd respond in that situation. Most likely just stand there thinking : "She just hit me! What the hell?". I suppose your inability to fight in these situations is similar to what I experience when being against a girl. Shit, I can't even spar properly against them.
    Huh, what martial art do you do? I didn't have problems fighting against girls at all with judo. I suppose it's different when you actively have to kick and punch girls.

    t Nova_C: some sort of martial art of self-defence course should probably do you good. :?

    Aldo on
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