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50 Cent vs. "We swear it's not the Middle East" is dumb mothafuckin' fun, mothafucka!
cloudeagle
Registered User regular
Registered User regular
No, I'm sadly not kidding. Vivendi is subjecting us to a sequel to the horrible 50 Cent game that came out a while back and sold 2.5 million copies to people with no taste. The good news is that it is promised to be nothing like the original, and will play like some sort of shooter I suppose. The bad news? It's called "50 Cent: Blood on the Sand." And you shoot all sorts of people who dress funny and have different beliefs than you for some reason.
Okay, here's the reason. 50 performed in the middle east, but his promoter has this strange thing against money. So he decides to give 50 a diamond-encrusted skull. But then some people ambush 50 and take the skull and 50 decides to go get it back and oh god my brain.
Apparently this all came from a writer "from Hollywood." Oooooooohhhhhh.
The game includes such new, revolutionary features (according to the guy IGN interviewed) as the ability to take cover behind walls! And drive a Humvee! And fly an airplane! All my dicks are cumming!
http://xbox360.ign.com/articles/862/862387p1.html
Seriously, I highly doubt this game will be racist, but it's virtually guaranteed that it will be cringe-inducing.
Okay, here's the reason. 50 performed in the middle east, but his promoter has this strange thing against money. So he decides to give 50 a diamond-encrusted skull. But then some people ambush 50 and take the skull and 50 decides to go get it back and oh god my brain.
Apparently this all came from a writer "from Hollywood." Oooooooohhhhhh.
The game includes such new, revolutionary features (according to the guy IGN interviewed) as the ability to take cover behind walls! And drive a Humvee! And fly an airplane! All my dicks are cumming!
http://xbox360.ign.com/articles/862/862387p1.html
Seriously, I highly doubt this game will be racist, but it's virtually guaranteed that it will be cringe-inducing.
Switch: 3947-4890-9293
cloudeagle on
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Dude, it's 50 Cent. I'm not sure he could manage that being tied to a chair with his mouth taped shut.
On the other hand, the Middle East is really famed for it's rap culture, so I can totally see why they set it there.
XBL/PSN/Steam: APZonerunner
L Ron Hubbard? I guess it could happen.
You shut your whore mouth Waterworld was great and it totally undeserving of the hate it gets.
Batman and Robin and that other one can go to hell though, if they arent there already.
And I wonder if this'll be featured in the Hip-Hop Gaming League?
Thanks a lot. I now have another thing to add to the list of things I wish I hadn't googled.
It's ripe for some MST3k-style dubbing.
Switch: 6200-8149-0919 / Wii U: maximumzero / 3DS: 0860-3352-3335 / eBay Shop
I wish it starred MC Hammer so I could make an obvious joke.
I had completely forgotten about this until now.
YOU DA MAN, SNOOP!
God damn it Space Devil.
White FC: 0819 3350 1787
Stop making this game sound like a good idea.
Downloadable bling!
Why can't we just go back to something like '50 Cent: Make My Video"
You gain Cred depending on how bad you Bust Rhymes in order to pull off special "RAP ATTACK" manoeuvres.
I'd make some joke about how it'll be down to that price shortly after release, and found in bargain bins everywhere, but if the first really did sell 2.5 million copies, it's probably not true.
Which makes me cry.
I wish I could say I'd never heard of the first one, but they were whoring it pretty hard back during the Spike TV (tm) videogame awards like 2 years back. Before it was even released they were singing its praises and suckling from the teat that they must've felt they had in their mouths by having 50 Cent involved in the show in any way.
Sad to say, they should've looked harder. That wasn't a teat.
Rock Band meets Gears of War?
"Hold your fire Marcus, conventional weapons won't work. Does Cole still have that microphone?"
"Nope, but I do have the only weapon I need, this microphone. KICK IT!"
I wonder who those poor people are that had to develop this?
People would suck at it and then the devs would have to release a new "easy" level rap system called "Snoop Dogg".
But on the other hand, what the fuck is wrong with people?
I mean, to like 50 cent in the first place requires you to suspend any shred of taste in music or people. He is the definition of commercial. If it will make him a buck he will put his name on Vitamin Water. His lyrics are misogynistic and about nothing.
This game existing is a symptom of the fact that the video games industry is not mature and that it does not prioritise creativity and originality. The publishers are patronising consumers, and they apparently are right to do so because it will earn them lots of money.
/rant
He is. Goddammit he's wearing fucking marpat.
Contact: 3737-4467-9408
Guy1: There's nothing bitchin about the games soundtrack. It's practically all elevator music.
Guy2: That's just hilariously stupid. I can't imagine playing a fighting game with "Girl from Ipanema" playing in the background.