Nightmares, stress and failing to sleep.

ben0207

So, I have barely been sleeping for a while now. Maybe 3 weeks or so.

When I try to sleep, I just get the most horrifying images of everyone I know and love rotting, and me powerless to help them. And sleeping after having just seen, smelt and heard the flesh sloughing from your girlfriends bones really stops a guy sleeping, y'know.

I think I'm stressed. I freelance write, and my current paying project is going rather badly. Through no fault of my own, but it feels like it anyway. And literally two weeks from now I'll be on a plane to Germaby to live for a few months with my GF, despite barely speaking German and having only two useful job traits - I can write in English pretty well and I can fix Macs. And nothing else.

But the nightmares are every single night, and not sleeping is really starting to fuck up my real life.

is there some magical potion I can take, or something?

Oboro

Medication exists that specifically aids with nightmare and stress influencing sleep habits. Unfortunately, it's a rather nuanced prescription to write and it's not one that's going to take effect immediately. I'll start by recommending therapy but I expect that it's a pointless recommendation -- it's sort of an expensive thing, and you don't sound the sorts with the money or stability to afford it. That's all well.

I'm not sure if a regular general practitioner could bail you out here, you more likely need to consult a psychiatrist. Again, though, be prepared for something more rigorous than a magical potion; if it's been ongoing this long and this bad, though, you really do owe it to yourself.

The Cow

Melatonin helped me stabilize my sleep schedule after I had a week and a half long bout of insomnia where all my dreams were just screaming, etc. OTC, mellow, no negative side effects.

Stretching and yoga seem to help a lot too.

Susan Delgado

You're a writer....so do you journal at all?
When I'm stressed out or afraid or under a lot of pressure I will write for pages and pages just purging all the doubts, fears, insecurities, outrageous feelings, etc. that are tumbling around in my head.
It doesn't necessarily "fix" my problems, but I can at least lay my head down and sleep knowing that I got it all out and down in a tangible form. Maybe that would help you before turning to medication.

Zonkytonkman

I had something very similar for a while.

You need to get your sleep back to normal before you're going to have a hope of fixing the root causes of this.
Go see a dr. Get him to prescribe you something.

Nataneko

Have you talked to your girlfriend (or someone else close to you) about all that? sometime just talking about what stresses you is going to take the weight off of your shoulder. but if it just won't go away, try thinking about something else, watch a funny movie, or something of that kind. apart from that, you could try valerian (apparently, 400mg is the "right" dose)

that's pretty much all I can think of right now, hope that help!

brandotheninjamaster

The Cow wrote: »

Melatonin helped me stabilize my sleep schedule after I had a week and a half long bout of insomnia where all my dreams were just screaming, etc. OTC, mellow, no negative side effects.

Stretching and yoga seem to help a lot too.

Beware the melatonin. Whenever I or anyone else I know takes this, it makes our dreams so vivid (that includes nightmares). Yes it will help you get to sleep, but it may also intensify your nightmares as well. When your not having nightmares though, the stuff is awesome.

Theungry

Echo the stretching, yoga and valerian tea. A doctor proscribed something or therapy might be long term solutions, but i am guessing that you don't have insurance if you're a freelance writer. In the meantime I recommend stretching for 15 minutes, meditation for 5 minutes, Valerian tea, then try to read a book until you pass out. If you do wake up to nightmare, take yourself out of bed into a different room to calm down. In fact, with insomnia in general, you want to start breaking the association of being in bed with terror and/or frustration. Go to a different space. Read, clean, stretch, meditate, stare at your dog or whatever until you feel ready to go back to sleep. If you hit the pillow and find sleep isn't coming, get up again. Rinse & repeat.

ihmmy

are these images before or after you fall asleep? I mean, you said nightmares, but it kind of sounded like you get rotting-images before you fall asleep, and those trigger the nightmares themselves

If that's the case, well, this trick worked when I was younger and still does. I used to think horrible things in my head that kept me from sleeping too, and basically my mom told me to imagine my head like a tv, and turning my head would change the channel. So if sleeping on my side gave me scary images, roll over and it would be like changing channels. Now, admittedly it's easier to work when you're a kid and the powers of persuasion have a stronger effect, but it still works for me now... if I have some horrible stuff in my head, I turn my head and make it go away. And then I can sleep

Otherwise, I echo sentiments of yoga, valerian (in small doses, don't depend on it regularly) and therapy/counsellor

Sarcastro

God, that channel changing advice is awesome! Since the effect is all psychological anyway, that's a great switch, especially once you've gotten into the habit. Go anonymous mom!

My advice, though not as simple, would be to journal the dreams out in as much detail as possible. Try to get into tiny minute specifics, and record them. This will force your mind to think about the dreams, recognize them as such, and then when you actually dream the same kind of dreams again, you'll be more able to recognize them as such.

Also, your dream suggests that you are terrified of the changes in your relationships (friends/family) that will take place while you're away. Essentially, you're afraid that you will be powerless to stop these changes because you will be removed from the situation, and from the sounds of it, it's not just a visit, you might be gone for a while- like forever. It would probably help to set up open lines of communication, emails, phone schedules, visits etc up in advance, so you have personal reassurances you're still going to be involved at home. Ask your mom or someone you are really close to to be your eyes and ears for goings on, and then talk to that person regularly, once or twice a week. I think mostly your mind is just telling you not to forget about your close relationships, and needs some comfort and forethought in how you plan to maintain those ties while you travel abroad.

witch_ie

I don't know that this will help, but whenever I have recurring nightmares, I sleep with the light on. For some reason, it calms my subconsious. Your girlfriend might not like it, but it's something you might want to consider trying before you go to Germany.