What the hell is this? Summarize in 3 words, please.
"Calvinball: MSPaint Edition."
Intriguing. Tell me more!
1000 Blank White Cards is a card game. Everyone gets 5 cards. They go around one at a time, drawing one card, playing one card. Play continues until the deck runs out. Simple as falling off a log.
The catch is that generally you're writing the cards, because most of the cards in your hand are blank. You can do near whatever you like with a card- make up rules, destroy the rules, modifier the rules, give people titles, make unreasonable demands, give points, anything you particularly like. An example from an old game on here:
Note several important elements: A title, an image, and what the card does. These are the three common elements of any card. Or things can get a bit more... abstract.
Or possibly even surrealistic.
You get an idea of the kind of shenanigans that can go down.
Wait... doesn't that card make sure nobody can win?
No rule against making a rule that nobody can win.
Right you are, my friend. Right you are.
But what's the POINT?
You PLAY to WIN the GAME. HELLO!? YOU PLAY TO WIN THE GAME!
Only not really.
Quite often cards will give points. This is a fine thing, and a handy matchstick to determine "Who has the most points". However, true 1000 Blank White Cards players know the point is to be funnier than the other fucksticks. If you make people laugh you have won. If you do not you can have infinity points and be a loser. Big-time loser.
How do I get in on this?
1. MAKE FIVE CARDS, such as ones you would use in the game. Don't use cards from old games, because that makes you That Guy. Don't be That Guy.
2. The first 6 people to PM 5 acceptable cards are the 6 players. There will only be 6 players. That makes 30 cards. I will, on my own initiative, go back through other games and other sources and find another 30 "legacy" cards to seed the deck with. On top of those 60, 90 Blank White Cards will be placed into the deck to make 150 cards. Randomly each of the 6 players will be given their hand of 5 cards. Player #1 will draw a card and play a card. In a sane world, Player #2 would then draw a card and play a card, but given what we're playing, I make no promises.
Ah yes. Formatting. Last game I ran, someone broke the tables with a 4000x4000 card. I got him probated for a week, because that was terminally unfunny. Do not be That Guy. Any cards bigger than let's just say 400x300 will bring the risk of instant and overwhelming punitive action. I am a crazy man on the edge with nothing to lose. Do not poke the bear.
Wait... who said you have power here? This is a COLLABORATIVE CARD-BASED GAME STORYTELLING ENVIRONMENT!!!
I run this game. My powers are boundless and unconstrained by the mere cards of players. I reserve the right at any time to ruthlessly execute people for not playing a card within 24 hours if I am around, or if they are terminally stupid and unamusing. I am a harsh dictator.