The new forums will be named Coin Return (based on the most recent vote)! You can check on the status and timeline of the transition to the new forums here.
The Guiding Principles and New Rules document is now in effect.
Girlfriend's naughty bits are on the fritz.
Ginzue
Registered User regular
Registered User regular
My Girlfriend (of 10 months as of yesterday) used to have a high and exciting sex drive, at the time she was not on birth control. Then in winter she had an IUD placed in her. Since then she has had a terrible sex drive, and she wants it back.
It really makes her upset and she even cries about it some times. She said she does not want to take the IUD out after the shit she had to go through to get it in.
Is there a way she can increase her sex drive and still have the IUD in? Are the supplements for this kind of thing? She asked me "Can you go on that Ha thing you talk about and see if I have any options?" Also, she just turned 20.
Any help would really benefit her... and me.
-Jack
It really makes her upset and she even cries about it some times. She said she does not want to take the IUD out after the shit she had to go through to get it in.
Is there a way she can increase her sex drive and still have the IUD in? Are the supplements for this kind of thing? She asked me "Can you go on that Ha thing you talk about and see if I have any options?" Also, she just turned 20.
Any help would really benefit her... and me.
-Jack
Ginzue!
Ginzue on
0
Posts
It just means no sex (without condoms) for a 4-6 day window when she's fertile, and tracking her temperature, cervical fluid and cervical position EVERY DAY and being well trained in how to read those charts.
If she's got a hormonal IUD, it's possible (I'd even say likely) that the hormone change is screwing with her sex drive and possibly her emotional state as well. I went through this with my girlfriend, we had a seriously bad year while she was on one particular type of contraceptive (an estrogen-based pill, I think). She switched to a differently-based option (progesterone-based, I think), and things got much better, both in terms of her sex drive and her emotional well-being. It took a good deal of time and patience (several months and a couple different kinds of BC) before we found one that a) did its job and b) didn't have unwanted side effects.
If it's the inert metal widget kind, it might be coincidental or psychological, because I don't think there's much documented evidence of that type of device causing sex drive issues. In terms of coincidence, maybe she's stressed out about something, or other life factors are taking a toll. If it's psychological, perhaps getting the IUD made her worry that there might be side effects, and now side effects have appeared in a sort of self-fulfilling prophecy. In either event, counseling or couples therapy is more likely to lead to a positive outcome.
Oh, and I ain't no doctor, so if she's got a GP and/or a gynecologist, her best bet is to talk the them.
They're not all the same. There are whole groups that are very distinct from one another in terms of their chemical makeup, and their side effects are as different as their chemical structures. Which kind(s) will cause side effects and which kind(s) won't depends entirely on the biochemistry of the individual taking them.
There is little she can do to fix it, without taking supplemental hormones or going back off birth control, or attempting to hop around different birth control products and dosage levels. She should speak with her no-no doc about it, and see what they have to say.
Hmm this is troubling. She does not want to take out the IUD, so are the only options hormonal drugs? Are the natural supplements that can increase her libido?
water spirals the wrong way out the sink
Low sex drive is a common issue, chemically induced or not. While the base level of her sex drive has been altered, sexual interest has a large mental component- do some of the activities you were doing before the IUD that you considered especially hot, or sexy. Stuff that you know turned her on a lot. Experiment with new activities that she finds romantic or turns her on. Her reactions are going to be.. underwhelming.. but it may help you guys get through the rough patch.
I don't know nearly enough to even suggest anything playing with hormones or trying to neutralize the IUD's effects or adding an extra drug/"natural" aphrodisiac to boost her drive so I hope something of this helps.
If someone's already having bad responses to hormones, I would seriously -not- suggest Depo. It's great for some, but for a lot of people the hormones wreak havoc with the body and emotional state. My emotions were fine on it, but I gained like 30lbs in a matter of months on that stupid thing. Most women have more emotion/low libido/raving bitch complications than that too.
To the OP, you two might want to swing by your local planned parenthood and see what they suggest too. Hereabouts, they aren't just about condoms and pills, they're about sexual health, including stuff like your situation
Don't bother posting if you don't know what you're talking about.
There are many, many different formulations of birth control pills, and IUDs. The chemical in her IUD may or may not be responsible, too. It's possible that it's entirely mental, but let's assume for a moment that it's not.
She would want to discuss with her doctor what IUD she has, and what her options are for alternates. She might also discuss the options in terms of birth control. Sometimes it takes two or three different pills before she finds the right one, I've never actually met anyone that's stayed on the exact same birth control pill from day one. Figuring out which pill was best suited for her might also have been a good idea prior to getting an IUD, but I digress.
Anyhow, yes, there are options. Lots and lots and lots of people can have horrible, terrible fucking reactions to one pill but be perfectly fine on another. IUDs that are doin' the time release medication trick can totally do the same thing.
CUZ THERE'S SOMETHING IN THE MIDDLE AND IT'S GIVING ME A RASH
Ah shit, I missed this.
If she's not in the mood because she has a hormonal IUD and no way to be able to afford a doctor's visit to deal with the situation correctly, randomly taking "natural" "supplements" won't likely do anything except cost money. If you really luck out you might make situation better or worse, but the odds of either would be low.
And if she's got a hormonal IUD, playing with taking different doses of different hormones to try to offset the libido thing isn't going to be cheap and it's probably going to be one fuck of a rocky road.
CUZ THERE'S SOMETHING IN THE MIDDLE AND IT'S GIVING ME A RASH
Actually this whole thread threw me for a bit because IUD to me implies the non-chemical device. I didn't get why there would be any change at all, really. There shouldn't be with a non-chem.
Basically, sounds like the dose is motherfucking high, which it generally is on long term devices - they have had dose regulation issues from step one, so they tend to overkill on the side of security.
Switching up to a lower dose would mean going back to pills, and finding the right chem.
As for increasing it via supplements or herbal treatments, bad plan, as anything that disrupted the hormone levels significantly enough to alter her sex drive would also lower and change the effectiveness of the pill.
The IUD device, the non-chem one, prolly wouldn't be availible for someone her age - worth checking around though through Planned Parenthood / etc. in your area as someone mentioned. You never know.
As such, you're left with the age old classics of eating right, working out and getting kinky. Even with a low sex drive, the desire for intercourse may be dimmed, but the desire to be close and be physically active with one's mate is still there. So be patient, and try to be active together, opportunity will strike now and again.
An IUS (intra-uterine system: meaning, the metal and the hormones) contains progestin, and you can get pills (and other HBC) with estrogen and progesterone on top of the progestin. As suggested above, going onto the pill would likely have the same effect, as they all contain the same hormones. However, the combination of the other hormones could also possibly counteract those results (or make them worse, whatever).
Most of the posts I'm reading on vaginapagina (see the link in my signature) have noted an increase in libido, actually, though a couple women mentioned that it took up to 6 months to return (many had switched from other forms of HBC).
A suggestion I see a lot regarding libido in women is a possible thyroid problem. I know your girlfriend would like to keep doctor's visits to a minimum, but this could be something that just happened to coincide with her IUS insertion.
Non-doctoral suggestions would be, perhaps, to try different methods to get her in the mood. I've heard an interesting observation that (while of course this isn't true for everybody) it seems as if the longer men go without sex the more they want it, and often the longer women go without sex the LESS they want it. Does your girlfriend masturbate? Maybe try going shopping together and getting her a new vibrator. Give her sensual massages. Go dancing. Lots of things can be used as fore-foreplay to get you both in the mood, and it might help counteract whatever is causing her libido.
One thing to consider: are there, perhaps, any problems or stresses you two are having? Often relationship stress can take a toll on the sexual side of things as well. Make sure she knows you're there for her, sexually as well as emotionally (annnnd, now I'm done therapizing).
It could also be that she's not entirely comfortable relying on it yet; my only real problem when I first got mine was getting used to the idea that I didn't really have to do anything for it to work, just because it was so different from anything I had used before. Once I got over that, sex was okay again.
If she does have a Mirena IUD, it's going to last a very long time (try 4-5 years) if she decides to continue using it. If she still likes the idea of an IUD, copper ones tend to be less expensive, and are supposedly easier to insert than the hormonal IUDs. Going to a doctor maybe isn't an option without insurance, but a Planned Parenthood/other family planning clinics would be able to help you out with options, IUD or otherwise, without charging a ridiculous amount of money.
Give her some time see what happens.