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We're pregnant! All advice welcome :)
Brew
Registered User regular
Registered User regular
My fiancee and I found out that she is pregnant. We went to a clinic yesterday and confirmed it. Almost 5 weeks Yay!
Tomorrow morning we are heading to a doctor to get checked out and make sure everything is as it should be.
We definately want the baby and we were planning to have it. I am 28, she is 30, we are both in love, both want kids and we're set to marry in July.
We bought books at Barns and Noble, scoured the internets and are generally getting as educated as possible on the subject. We will watch the diet, make sure we get as much rest as possible and as least stress as possible. Both our mothers are avialable for talking and advice and I definately plan on bugging them a lot.
That being said... give me all the advice you can on getting through the next 8 months and doing the best to get a healthy baby into the world. I'm sure there is a ton of stuff people either assume you know and don't put into the book or just don't think is worthwhile including.
Anything you can tell me will be appreciated since 'you don't know what you don't know', you know?
Tomorrow morning we are heading to a doctor to get checked out and make sure everything is as it should be.
We definately want the baby and we were planning to have it. I am 28, she is 30, we are both in love, both want kids and we're set to marry in July.
We bought books at Barns and Noble, scoured the internets and are generally getting as educated as possible on the subject. We will watch the diet, make sure we get as much rest as possible and as least stress as possible. Both our mothers are avialable for talking and advice and I definately plan on bugging them a lot.
That being said... give me all the advice you can on getting through the next 8 months and doing the best to get a healthy baby into the world. I'm sure there is a ton of stuff people either assume you know and don't put into the book or just don't think is worthwhile including.
Anything you can tell me will be appreciated since 'you don't know what you don't know', you know?
1st ever "Penny-Arcade Hero Academy Tournament" Toilet Bowl Champion!
"You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should."
"You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should."
Brew on
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Posts
Congratulations!
second,
My advice: plan now on how you will respond to strangers feeling compelled to give you random advice in restaurants or public areas.
The wife and I are due in July, my 2nd, her first. Advice following:
-Go to all the doctor's appointments with her, they are fun and informative.
-She will be very sleepy, get as much gaming in when she goes to bed at 8:30.
-Don't listen to a single thing anybody but your doctor tells you, as it is completely different for every woman.
Congratulations man!
Maybe it is just the few women I've asked about it.
2.) When it becomes time for people to give you gifts for your baby a stuff, make sure they know you do not want baby clothes. They are cute, people love buying them. But they are only good for a couple months before the kid out grows them. It'd be much better to put that 20-40-whatever dollars towards a purchase that will be useful for more than just a few weeks.
3.) You seem in good spirits, but towards the due date you will probably get nervous. In the last baby thread I remember (About some guy who was in the marines or some government armed job) someone put perspective on his nerves very well and the advice has stuck with me. "People a lot more messed up than you have done a great job at being a dad." or something similar. Just made a good statement.
Congrats, man.
http://www.vaginapagina.com/index.php?title=Pregnancy_%26_Childbirth
You might want to think about the actual delivery. Does your wife want a hospital birth, like is most popular these days, or perhaps a home birth? A midwife or doula, or a doctor? There are tons of options for the birthing process and if you're at all interested definitely check it out.
I also agree with PirateJon (as well as everything else in this thread) -- we're generally supposed to give birth and be parents, and there aren't any secret cure-alls, and neither are there surprises that will scar your child for life (barring the obvious).
Congratulations, though! Have any names in mind?
Anyways, what I've heard around school is that the best thing for pregnant women to intake is DHA/EPA omega-3 fatty acids, which can be gotten from fatty fish if you eat meat, or seaweed extract if you're vegetarian like myself.
Here's a presentation that explains the benefits from gestation throughout childhood: http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=2647394678852657808
But you should ultimately ask a physician, for sure. :P But please take what I said into consideration.
And have fun, of course! You're having a kid! :!:
Pokeymanz: 4081 1995 6825 (If you add me, let me know!
Advice?
Enjoy your sleep now!
Don't buy new equipment, it costs a silly amount. Your baby won't mind sleeping in a second hand cot (but buy a new mattress), or being pushed in a second hand pram.
When you buy baby clothes, buy 3-6 month size, most babies don't fit into newborn size for more than a couple of weeks.
Breastfeed (Mum, obviously, not Dad, unless Mum expresses) - its free, always at the right temperature, best for baby and Mum, always available once established, easy to do for most mums, and gets easier with practice.
Sleep when the baby sleeps.
Pick good names - think about what they mean and who is associated with that name. Trust me, Kylie suites her name, your baby might not!
For paintings in progress, check out canvas and paints
"The power of the weirdness compels me."
Also, I'll second breastfeeding. There's really nothing better you can give an infant while they're growing up.
Theungry - I guess I don't know how I'll reply to public suggestions. I've always been polite even when annoyed so I guess that'll continue. Most people probably mean well... I hope.
meeker - Yes, 5 weeks :oops:! I'll change it in the OP! I do plan on going with her as much as possible. I want to be there to support her and also am very curious about it all. I'm not hoping too much for gaming, maybe an hour of WoW here and there. It's all good. As far as the urban myth advice, yeah I've already had some of that. She freaked out about lifting because one of her friends said she might miscarry if she lifts anything. Looking up in more reputable sources told me that she's ok lifting things as long as she does not strain too much. She's much more in danger of hurting herself (back, pulled muscles, ect.) than the baby though.
Doc - I just asked. She's ok with the plural first-person
PirateJon - I'll try to ignore... but advertising works, that's why they spend billions of dollars on it. I do my best to be rational though.
starmanbrand - 1) Just a civil ceremony for now. once we save up the money down the road there might be a big wedding or renewal of vows. For now: baby, then house. 2) Duly noted! 3) right now I'm going between scared-freaked out to euphoric-can't wait all the time. Sometimes feeling both at the same time. Good piece of advice, I'll try to remember it!
Specularity - I'll check out the site! I'm pretty sure we are both set on a hospital delivery. We have a good one very close by and are still looking into more options. Delivering in water is something she is interested in so we will look further into that.
Animelee - I'll check out the video ASAP. She is taking a vitamin supplement for prenatal care (Prenatal One brand I believe) but I'll have to verify whether it includes Omega-3.
LewiePs Mummy - We try to sleep as much as we can but now I will make sure she gets the 8-9 hours a night. I'll do so as well
LavaKnight - She is not adverse to fish but not a big fan either. Her tastes are starting to change a bit already so who knows how this will go (she's starting to like candy/cakes less, very odd for her). We do try to keep a balanced diet though.
Thank you all for the congratulations and well wishes!
Keep the advice coming!
"You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should."
You need some basic stuff, and you need lots of it.
Diapers. It may sound silly but start buying these now, or at least before the baby is born. You will go through a lot of them and they are expensive, especially as the baby gets older.
Formula. (Does not apply if your wife is going to nurse.) More expensive than diapers. Formula and diapers are your one-two combo of basic needs.
Outfits. These don't have to be anything fancy. Your baby doesn't care. You will go through a LOT of outfits each and every day, especially in the very young days. Your baby will make a mess of itself and it will happen often.
As un-fun as it sounds, your baby doesn't care how many new toys it has, how many cool strollers or playpens or any of that. It just wants diapers.
If your wife is like mine was, she's going to be tired early in the evening in the early part of her pregnancy. The first half of my wife's pregnancy, she was going to bed at 9:00 every night (at the latest). I got a lot of WoW time in then.
After the baby is born, man I could probably give you advice for days but it's different for everyone. So my one main piece of advice is this: don't try to plan anything. Because your plans will not work out. You are at the baby's mercy and trust me, whatever the baby feels like doing, that's what you'll be doing. This was especially hard for me to adapt to because I'm really habitual and I like to do things a certain way, and at the same time every day. That doesn't work anymore.
Also I'm sorry to tell you that for the first 3 months or so, you'll probably get very little pleasure out of having a baby. You will constantly be tired and your baby will give you no indication that he or she appreciates anything you're doing, or how much money you're spending.
Not to sound all doom and gloom. My daughter is about to turn 2.5 and she's a blast now. I can't imagine life without her.
Haha! No, I'm kidding. Congrats! We've got a 5 week old in the house ourselves. To be honest, I think you're going to be fine. You're doing all the research and preparation well in advance, so you're already vastly more prepared than the average parent.
I think that's my only advice really - don't panic, you can handle this. Cavemen did and those guys didn't even have welfare.
There is enough horrible names in the world to justify another, but be unique in the name. I know as a child beyond named one of the top 10 boy baby names, is pretty unoriginal, but it does fit my "catholic" background.
Mary is a pretty odd name for a boy.
Check out consignment shops for the bigger things.
Get What to Expect When Expecting and What to Eat When Expecting. Hell, we've got those around with no use. I'll sell them to you for just a couple bucks over shipping if you want.
Don't buy What to Expect When She's Expecting. It's a stupid book.
Don't buy burp cloths, receiving blankets will work better as they cover a larger area on your back.
If it's a boy, don't buy a wee-block (covers his penis to prevent from squirting). A washcloth is better.
Buy diapers whenever they are on sale. If you want to go with cloth diaper... good luck...
Check with your local hospital and see what kind of classes they offer. From basic babycare to lamaz, the more you do the better. Hell, we found at least half of the classes to be stupid and pointless, but the other half were amazing. We didn't get anything out of lamaz to help her relax and all, but it was a great place to go with all of our questions.
Get a good stroller with an infant seat/car seat. It's worth it. Most now adays close with one hand. Nifty as hell.
The Five S's saved us
http://www.medscape.com/viewarticle/514376
Do not buy bottles or toys that have BPA in them. There is a big brew ha ha going about how bad it is. Anything with BPA in it has a recycling number 7 on the bottom. This is almost all clear plastic bottles and toys. Even if it's coloured, it needs to be opaque to be certain of safety.
She might have to bottle feed, she might have to have a c-section, hell, she might CHOOSE to have a c-section. Even though it's months away, start deciding now aht you want your birth plan to be and what you want to do. However, all of this is going to be guidelines. You can't ensure eveyrhting will happen how you want.
If you have ANY friends or family with babies, get some hands on time now. Even ask to change some diapers. It's better to know what you're doing now, rather than later. Also talk to anyone whose had a kid within the past three or so years, they might have stuff you can use. My son is using my girlfriend's old crib (it's up to date onsafety), he used his cousins bassonet, his great-grandparents bought him his porta-crib (which WE have a use for, you might now for awhile), his grandpa bought him the stroller set, his grandma bought him his bedding, a friend bought him the diaper genie...
The lsit goes ON. Hell, we got clothes from neighbors who moved in last week.
Have baby showers. Yes, not one, but more than one. One with fmaily, one with friends, invite EVERYONE.
Get a registry at Babies R Us if you can, they have alot of nice stuff and usually a very helpful staff.
My girlfriend is 22 and I'm 21. I graduate in December. It's more doable than you think it is.
It is actually Sue. A song was made after me.
Get a swing that plugs into the wall. You don't need to be changing batteries every other day.
Just remember that for the first few months the whole child rearing thing is very mommy centric especialy if she is breast feeding. It does get better as they grow older though. I have a six year old girl at home and my wife took a picture of us playing SSBB last night and we have the same glazed yet focused look on our faces, its's great!
Plan to breast feed if at all possible, but be prepared for that to not be possible, and if it turns out to NOT be possible, it's your job to make sure she doesn't feel bad about it not being possible. From personal experience, not being able to produce enough milk for your baby can be crushing, especially in the midst of post-partum exhaustion.
Make sure you both are able to talk with her doctor, and ask him/her any questions that come to mind. You'll have a million of them over the next few months.
My wife loves this book: The Girlfriends' Guide to Pregnancy
We took hypnobirthing classes, and my wife found the relaxation/visualization techniques helpful in reducing her own anxiety regarding delivery. EDD is in a month to 5 weeks; if this thread's still alive I'll post an update as to how effective the techniques were at gametime. Ignore/interrupt people telling you of their brutal marathon 36 hour labor, yadda yadda, it's not helpful and will only cause your fiancee to fear the delivery.
Improvolone: Did you try cloth diapers? If so what did you think? We're gonna try a service for a few months and then see from there. Another couple I know does cloth diapers, though apparently they leak more than disposeables, so they have disposeables for travel and during social outings.
Make sure she gets a nice diaper bag. It's going to be her purse for the next few years. You might think you want one, but wait untill you know you need one.
This is very true. My wife ran into problems with not being able to breast-feed, and it's very upsetting.
If you can, going with a regular feeding/sleeping schedule makes life a lot easier in the long. The baby quickly gets used to it.
The diaper bag as purse is definitely true.
A cheap canvas one for general indoor use (stores/malls/etc.) or the like.
and
An expensive one with the three huge rubber wheels. They are a pain to lug around sometimes, but they are worth their weight in gold if you ever want to go for a long walk or anywhere that doesn't have pristine sidewalks.
Congratulations
also, get a noise maker for the baby's room it helps them (mine) get to sleep and helps block louder outside noises.
Despite the dubious source, the advice is correct.
AN umbrella stroller? You won't be able to use that untill the kid is sitting up right (5-6 months). Babies R' Us usually has a promotion now and then along the lines of "Spend $X and get a free umbrella stroller!"
I would look out for those.
Best book ever. There's another the Girlfriends guide to the first year or something like that.
Anyway first off Congrats!
Kids are great. I have a 3 year old daughter and am 5months pregnant with another girl.
On advice a lot has been covered. The best advice I can offer is do what works for you. There is no right or wrong way. Make the baby integrated into your life. Don't make the mistake of making your lives revolve around the baby. I have seen too many friends who stopped everything they loved and did in the lives and later wished they had done things differently. Not to say some things won't change but make sure there is still some time for you and your spouse.
Register for a Boppy pillow. Best invention ever. Trust me.
oh and make sure to get your girl whatever food craving she has. The body will tell her what she needs and if there's fast food or whatever the baby burns up tons of calories anyway. so let her eat what she wants.
As for you and your fiancee just enjoy it. Pregnancy the first time around is magical. Every little thing is exciting. Espcially the first time you hear the baby's heartbeat or see the sonogram.
One last thing we did that we plan to do again is keep things noisy and loud when the baby first comes home. Watch movies as you regularly would and talk normally while the baby is asleep. If you make everything silent and quiet that's what the kiddo will get used to. It'll be much harder to have any company over past 7PM if everyone has to whisper. Plus with my daughter she got used to sleeping through loud noises in general and it made a much happier household
On a side note I never got mad about the saying 'we're pregnant'. Granted i tease my hubby that he's just the sperm donor and i'm doing all the work, but it didn't make me mad. After all he has to clean the litter box and get me food etc for the pregnancy. (and hug me when i'm hormonal and emotional)
We wound up having no use for a Boppy.
Take your fiance on a nice trip, it'll be a last vacation with just the two of you for awhile. Also, plan on taking her out on alot of dates while you can.