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Failures of Humanity: As told by you
Bushmaori
Registered User regular
Registered User regular
Pretty basic premise here, you tell stories of the biggest failures of humanity you have seen while out and about doing your living, like many of my threads this topic is a blatant copy of a Something Awful thread but I am interested to see what stories people here have.
Here is a good example taken from SA.
So you get the gist of it, type that shit bitch.
Here is a good example taken from SA.
This was about four years ago.I was sitting in the car waiting for my wife to grab something in a craft store. This woman came out carrying a kid about two and with little girl about six or so behind her. The girl was screaming so much her face was red. She wanted something in the store and the mother had said no. As they were making their way across the lot the six year old picked up a rock and chucked it. Direct hit to the base of the mothers skull. She went down on top of the two year old and wasn't moving.
I ran over to help and possibly call 911 and she started to get up. She thanked me then turned to the six year old. All i could think was how my mom would beat my rear end for such a thing. She just looks at the kid and says "You must have really wanted that, lets go back inside and get it for you". loving phenomenal.
So you get the gist of it, type that shit bitch.
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Some highlighs of watching these people included:
- The day their two boys, named Bo Ray and Emmit (I shit you not) got a pellet gun for Christmas. They were out all day shooting at the paper target that they had taped over a giant propane tank.
- The father, standing beside a decent-sized fire, pouring gasoline from a plastic container directly onto the flame. As you can expect, the flame shot up into the can, causing some pretty neat fireworks as he frantically shook it but didn't let go.
- The smallest son, Bo Ray I believe, riding his dirt bike down the street at an incredable speed wearing nothing but a pair of swimming trunks. Suffice to say, when he hit the grass and was flung into the side of their trailer home, the swim trunks didn't help much.
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Truck nutz are everywhere here. And these little hitch covers that look like a deer's head.
Seriously, are truck owners just trying to hammer the point home that they bought their trucks to compensate for genitalia?
You haven't lived until you see a camo-painted truck on huge wheels with truck nutz, and the owner having to hoist themselves up to even get in the damn thing.
Oculus: TheBigDookie | XBL: Dook | NNID: BigDookie
My girlfriend's brother had a pair of these on his Blazer. He recently moved. Three days later, the county sheriff had left a note under his wiper saying if he doesn't take them off, he would.
Her brother, the arrogant prick that he is, didn't take them off. They were gone the next day.
Oculus: TheBigDookie | XBL: Dook | NNID: BigDookie
EDIT: I want to get Truck Nutz for my '92 Buick Skylark.
Goddamnit.
Interpret them in the stupidest way imaginable.
You're probably not far off.
Both of laughter and sadness.
I'd also add to the list the silver nekkid lady mudflaps... which aren't as nasty as truck nuts, but still offensive in their own right.
Hmm, maybe this is quickly turning into a "stupid crap people put on their trucks" thread. I'll try and think of something useful to contribute.
Oculus: TheBigDookie | XBL: Dook | NNID: BigDookie
Apparently there are two kids somewhere in England called "Gandalf"
I saw this kid (10-abouts?) A few days ago who seemed to be called "Jordaniel"
Worse than those are the fake-Calvin praying in the shadow of a cross decals. At least the pissing ones are vaguely in character, as opposed to another incident of "hey, let's throw Jesus at something not even kinda related and see what happens!"
Mom and dad couldn't agree on whether to call him Jordan or Daniel, so they compromised?
I don't recall Calvin ever pissing on anything.
Worst was some drunk guy coming through the line with his probably eight-year-old daughter. All kinds of shouting and general assholism, with the worst part being a grab-and-yank that probably near enough pulled the girl's arm out of her socket (accompanied by some retarded shout because she'd moved more than two feet away from him.)
Cannot blame her. I felt so bad.
Also: People that cannot figure out how to operate doors at my work. The double door has the right door locked and the left door unlocked. I can't count the number of times I've seen people try the right door, then try to open both doors at the same time (which results in them tugging extra hard on the locked door for some reason) and then look at me with eyes that convey nothing but helplessness... as if to say "Your sign says open but your doors... they say clooooooooosed!!!"
He was 6 and kind of an asshole, I'm sure he pissed on something.
That's bullshit.
Communists suck at rock and roll.
I know, right?
Also the whole dragging opium users into the street and shooting them.
:x
"Marketing"
This one time they broke the key on someone's locker, took out their bag, and took a shit in it.
You read that right.
This other time they *broke* someone's locker and filled it with fire extinguisher liquid. The kid had to replace hundreds of dollars worth of books, and had to get class notes copied from someone else because all his were ruined.
--
Fortunately it was discovered who these idiots were and they were quickly expelled. Still though, I think they qualify as "failures of humanity."
I've got tons of examples of this from my days as a swim-teacher. However, most of them were more due to the parents being immigrants and not knowing any English.
I still think Doctors should have veto power on the name on your birth certificate.
"You wanna name your kid Hardick? No, no fucking way, I'm not signing that shit."
When I worked cash at a grocery store, we used to have this couple come in every week. In their 40s, kinda over-weight and HATED each other. They'd swear at each other, argue ALL the time and the minute one of them left, the other one would lean over and start telling you how much of a bitch the other one was or some such. The guy used to steal food from the cart all the time too and pocket it when the women wasn't looking, cause she always paid.
Apparently they have kids. I pitied them.