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Social Networking...

ImthebOHGODBEESImthebOHGODBEES Registered User regular
edited June 2008 in Help / Advice Forum
I'm a somewhat recent college grad (within the last year) who has moved to a new job in a new city. I went to a private engineering college with a 4:1 male female ratio, and as a result of that and my middlin' social skills at the time, I ended up going all 5.5 years (don't laugh) single. I did have a lot of good friends, both male and female, and I feel that at this point my ability to socialize is much higher than it was before. Unfortunately I am now surrounded by strangers again.

The few people anywhere near my age around where I work are all very heavy into the drinking/bar scene, and everyone else is quite a bit older than me/higher ranking. Im a member of the military, so "dating" people at work is reaaaally a no go right now (I mention this as my ultimate goal is dating)

I have a slight social anxiety that can be described as MyStressLevel = #strangers/#people I know. So going out to most of the social events/places is really not an option for me. Also, I have intoverted hobbies and interests, reading (5-6 new novels a month), gaming (both video and table top), some hobby work with woodworking, music, etc.

My question is this:
What methods would you recomend I use to try and expand my social circle?
What places/events are smaller gatherings, but still generally open to newcomers?
What should I look for if I'm looking at "local events" or something in a paper?

Ultimately I hope this would lead to me obtaining a Significant Other, but I know myself and I know that if/when that happens it will be as a result of me becoming good friends with a female and she/I realise we should give something a shot.

Any advice will be welcome.

Do you, in fact, have any builds in this shop at all?


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    contrabandcontraband Registered User regular
    edited May 2008
    well, you yourself used the term "social networking." do you use those sorts of websites? facebook (and maybe myspace, but i don't have much experience) have been a lifesaver in finding oddball local events that aren't big enough to get any sort of listing otherwise, but are still very fun. it's also good for talking to more distant friends.

    contraband on
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    PirateJonPirateJon Registered User regular
    edited May 2008
    1) Do things you enjoy. Faking something to meet someone will end badly.

    2) All of them, bar large team sports? Even working for large volunteer orgs, you end up in a small-ish group. Easier to do stuff. gathering to meet like-minded people is kind of the point of these.

    3) Anything that interests you. See #1.
    Ultimately I hope this would lead to me obtaining a Significant Other

    Way ahead of yourself cheif. First do stuff you like to meet people with similar interests. Then if you hit it off, you date to get to know them better. THEN after a few weeks/months dating you decide if they are signifigant other material and move forward.

    PirateJon on
    all perfectionists are mediocre in their own eyes
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    UsagiUsagi Nah Registered User regular
    edited May 2008
    As a spouse of a former military member (2 months Navy free whoooo!) I have to tell you, dating is not going to be easy. Most of the friends we had that weren't seeing someone when they joined the service had a very hard time meeting significant others that were willing to go with the sometime disruptive flow of life that goes along with being in the military. That being said, it isn't impossible.

    I think rather than focusing on finding someone to date, you might want to try and make yourself more comfortable in social situations as that will probably help your career as well as your personal life. That being said, MWR (Morale Welfare and Recreation) at most bases run lots of small social things - ranging from day trips to softball tournaments and even tabletop gaming.

    And if you're going to use myspace or Facebook or any of the online social networking stuff, be careful about how descriptive you are about your job!

    Usagi on
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    A-RodA-Rod Registered User regular
    edited May 2008
    If you have the time, try volunteering either for special events or organizations that may interest you. You may not get a date out of it, but youll most likely find people with similar interests at least.

    A-Rod on
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    ImthebOHGODBEESImthebOHGODBEES Registered User regular
    edited May 2008
    Thank you for all the inputs.

    ImthebOHGODBEES on
    Do you, in fact, have any builds in this shop at all?
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    CyberJackalCyberJackal Registered User regular
    edited May 2008
    Sounds like a book club would be perfect for you.

    CyberJackal on
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    SkySky Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    When I moved to San Jose, I had trouble making new friends, till I started using Facebook.

    They also have an application that uploads the latest PA comics, too.

    Sky on
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