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Whoroscopes
Filler Inc.
Registered User regular
Registered User regular
Aries: You will stab your wife in a fit of rage after catching her cheating on you. Luckily for you, she is a blow up doll and you have multiple personalities
Taurus: Your long held belief that the meek shall inherit the world comes to fruition when after years of meekery, you are handed a crown. Unfortunately, few people seem to respect your title as burger king.
Gemini: You will severely overestimate your abilities to throw your voice when you try to convince your boss that merging the peters account with the panning account is the best idea and everyone in the room agrees.
Cancer: Tears streaming down your cheek coupled with breathy, shrill, out of tune lyrics from your favorite journey songs are not the best way to attract a mate, you will later learn.
Leo: Cindy Sheridan will turn down your invitation to the prom, again. It has yet to dawn on you that charm, money, and humor mean nothing to an 8 year old girl when you're 40.
Virgo: Try as you might, people will refuse to believe that you have the controlling share in Microsoft. The time you spend being bitter over this, might be better used digging bottles out of trashcans and making new signs.
Libra: Your outrage over the fact that people treat you like a doormat would be understandable if you weren't in fact an actual doormat.
Scorpio: Some people think that getting kicked out of sea world for being drunk and belligerent is a sign of alcoholism; you on the other hand believe it's just another day at the office.
Sagittarius: For every door that closes, a window is opened. You will find that this does not ring true in a skyscraper, and as such you will find a way to fix it.
Capricorn: Despite numerous odd looks, and gasps of shock, you will still dress in the way that is most accustomed to your people; Half shirts, ponytails, and leggings.
Aquarius: People do not understand your art, and often times they openly laugh at you, but don't be discouraged, someday people will fall to the knees at the beauty of your macaroni necklaces.
Pisces: You will find this week that you have been reciting the wrong words when pledging allegiance to the flag. Understandable since 'flag' sounds very similar to another word that will bring you a bit of trouble.
I've been reading the onion a lot lately, and thought this could be fun.
Taurus: Your long held belief that the meek shall inherit the world comes to fruition when after years of meekery, you are handed a crown. Unfortunately, few people seem to respect your title as burger king.
Gemini: You will severely overestimate your abilities to throw your voice when you try to convince your boss that merging the peters account with the panning account is the best idea and everyone in the room agrees.
Cancer: Tears streaming down your cheek coupled with breathy, shrill, out of tune lyrics from your favorite journey songs are not the best way to attract a mate, you will later learn.
Leo: Cindy Sheridan will turn down your invitation to the prom, again. It has yet to dawn on you that charm, money, and humor mean nothing to an 8 year old girl when you're 40.
Virgo: Try as you might, people will refuse to believe that you have the controlling share in Microsoft. The time you spend being bitter over this, might be better used digging bottles out of trashcans and making new signs.
Libra: Your outrage over the fact that people treat you like a doormat would be understandable if you weren't in fact an actual doormat.
Scorpio: Some people think that getting kicked out of sea world for being drunk and belligerent is a sign of alcoholism; you on the other hand believe it's just another day at the office.
Sagittarius: For every door that closes, a window is opened. You will find that this does not ring true in a skyscraper, and as such you will find a way to fix it.
Capricorn: Despite numerous odd looks, and gasps of shock, you will still dress in the way that is most accustomed to your people; Half shirts, ponytails, and leggings.
Aquarius: People do not understand your art, and often times they openly laugh at you, but don't be discouraged, someday people will fall to the knees at the beauty of your macaroni necklaces.
Pisces: You will find this week that you have been reciting the wrong words when pledging allegiance to the flag. Understandable since 'flag' sounds very similar to another word that will bring you a bit of trouble.
I've been reading the onion a lot lately, and thought this could be fun.
Filler Inc. on
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Lucky date: August 15th 2046
Need some stuff designed or printed? I can help with that.
Later on in that class, we watched the scene with tits in Romeo & Juliet three times because he kept rewinding it over and over.
no wonder she was not impressed by the bentley
bitch probably just wanted a barbie
Your love life will run into trouble when your fiance hurls a javelin through your chest.
There's travel in your future when your tongue freezes
to the back of a speeding bus
Fill that void in your pathetic life by playing Whack-A-
Mole 17 hours a day
PISCES!
Try to avoid any Virgos or Leos with the Ebola virus
You are the true Lord of the Dance, no matter what
those idiots at work say
ARIES!
The look on your face will be priceless when you find
that 40-pound watermelon in your colon
Trade toothbrushes with an albino dwarf, then give a
hickey to Meryl Streep
TAURUS!
You will never find true happiness - what you gonna
do, cry about it?
The stars predict tomorrow you'll wake up, do a bunch
of stuff and then go back to sleep
That's your horoscope for today
That's your horoscope for today
That's your horoscope for today
That's your horoscope for today
GEMINI!
Your birthday party will be ruined once again by your
explosive flatulence
Your love life will run into trouble when your fiance
hurls a javelin through your chest
CANCER!
The position of Jupiter says that you should spend the
rest of the week face down in the mud
Try not to shove a roll of duct tape up your nose while
taking your driver's test
LEO!
Now is not a good time to photocopy your butt and
staple it to your boss's face, oh no
Eat a bucket of tuna-flavored pudding, then wash it
down with a gallon of strawberry Quik
VIRGO!
All Virgos are extremely friendly and intelligent -
except for you
Expect a big surprise today when you wind up with
your head impaled upon a stick
That's your horoscope for today
That's your horoscope for today
That's your horoscope for today
That's your horoscope for today
Now you may find it inconceivable or at the very least
a bit unlikely that the relative position of the planets
and the stars could have a special deep significance or
meaning that exclusively applies to only you, but let
me give you my assurance that these forecasts and
predictions are all based on solid, scientific, documented
evidence, so you would have to be some kind of
moron not to realize that every single one of them is
absolutely true.
Where was I?
LIBRA!
A big promotion is just around the corner for someone
much more talented than you
Laughter is the very best medicine, remember that
when your appendix bursts next week
SCORPIO!
Get ready for an unexpected trip when you fall
screaming from an open window
Work a little bit harder on improving your
low self esteem, you stupid freak
SAGITTARIUS!
All your friends are laughing behind your back...
kill them
Take down all those naked pictures of Ernest Borgnine
you've got hanging in your den
CAPRICORN!
The stars say that you're an exciting and wonderful
person... but you know they're lying
If I were you, I'd lock my doors and windows and never
never never never never leave my house again
That's your horoscope for today
That's your horoscope for today
That's your horoscope for today
That's your horoscope for today
did he just start beating off right in front of the class
No but hoo boy did he give us some creepy looks
He told us all we needed to watch the scene closely because one day "we would experience the same magic"
Don't say you feel the magic if you don't feel the magic
Lucky element: Nickel
Need some stuff designed or printed? I can help with that.
UNHAND ME I SWEAR I FEEL IT
GOD IT HURTS
whorrible
I'll fight you.
I will fight you both in a cage.
Score! In your collective faces!
they're wrong but I don't want to look like I care about my sign
In one corner, standing 3'5'' The Lovely Bastard, his signature move the crumpled dog is sure to come out tonight folks.
In another corner, we have Big Des, standing at a menacing 7'9'', notorious for the Tea Toss that killed 2 men back in 76'
And in yet another corner we have Seta 3000, a respectable 5'2'', known far and wide for the Fag Bash.
All against our champion Filler, standing at 6'5'', and famous for his 'Oh god, did he really just say that? Why is he still here? I don't know. He keeps coming back' hold.
No one has ever ever ever inquired as to my astrological sign, ever.
You know weird people.
I like to think I inspire weirdness in others
I'd accept that as a possibility.
Loverfool by the cardigans.
yessss
That's not bad.