Writer's Congestion

Warren

Hey Y'all. So here's the deal, I'm working on a new script and I was having a little writers block. This is kind of a big speech in the plot of the story and for some reason it just doesn't feel 100%. Here's an excerpt and wanted to know what you think/where would you go with it if you were in my position:

Christmas-

CHRISTMAS
Congratulations, One and all. My name is ALEXANDER CHRISTMAS and everyone standing here has made it to the largest and most prestigious training academy for today's heroes. As you all know being a hero and surviving as such is a very dangerous and competitive career choice. This is not for everyone and everyone standing here in this courtyard will most likely not complete the first year. This is a business that not everyone will "make it.” However if you are doing it for of the love of the craft, then chances increase exponentially. In a world filled with those who wish harm on the innocent and believe they have the right to take what doesn't belong to them just because they have the power to do so, we are the first, second and last line of defense. Thus the training here will be strenuous and unforgiving. Those who confront you on the outside will show you no grace. We know here that you are not perfect, that you came here for education. You will receive all the necessary tools you need to become successful. There are those who are less talented and vulnerable than you that are outside these walls and they will expect you to be perfect. When you leave after your tutelage, you will be flawless. Before I let you go please allow me to introduce THE FORGE’S caretaker, Hal. This gentleman has been with us from almost the very beginning and there is nothing he and his staff cannot fix. What's left of your belongings has been moved into your rooms. Please exit the courtyard, on your right side there are several attendants who will inform you of what house you have been assigned to. Thank you and welcome to THE FORGE ACADEMY AND BOARDING SCHOOL.


Thanks for the input.~W

Garlic Bread

This is probably more appropriate for The Writer's Block

I didn't read your paragraph but I'm assuming "Warren" is short for "Warren Ellis" and I've read like two of your other books so it's cool, I can just pretend I read your post

143999

I don't think Warren Ellis is writing a Sky High webcomic.

smokmnky

143999 wrote: »

I don't think Warren Ellis is writing a Sky High webcomic.

I thought the same thing. I still wish I could find that one book that is about a supervillain highschool

Sars_Boy

Keith wrote: »

This is probably more appropriate for The Writer's Block

I didn't read your paragraph but I'm assuming "Warren" is short for "Warren Ellis" and I've read like two of your other books so it's cool, I can just pretend I read your post

I hate you so much keith.

Garlic Bread

Sars_Boy wrote: »

Keith wrote: »

This is probably more appropriate for The Writer's Block

I didn't read your paragraph but I'm assuming "Warren" is short for "Warren Ellis" and I've read like two of your other books so it's cool, I can just pretend I read your post

I hate you so much keith.

Sars_Boy

oh fuck

Warren

Simple mistake gentlemen, don't crucify the poor lad.

~W