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The Man Bible

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    KrunkMcGrunkKrunkMcGrunk Registered User regular
    edited May 2008
    mcdermott wrote: »
    Hm. I went to a wedding recently, and spotted a girl who looked totally fucking bored. I asked her if she was okay and she confirmed my boredom suspicions.

    I told her that I can talk about anything but sports, she raised an eyebrow. So, I started asking her questions. Turns out she was Taiwanese, and she was wearing a pair of Gucci glasses. So, we talked about fashion for about an hour or so, and now we're good friends.

    I'm able to do that with essentially anyone who isn't actively avoiding conversation, so I guess that makes me an alpha male, right?

    I think that just makes you a sociable, interesting, fun guy. A good quality to have. :^:

    Yeah, if you want to end up on the wrong ladder.
    I'm so sorry.

    God, I hate ladder theory.

    KrunkMcGrunk on
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    ElJeffeElJeffe Not actually a mod. Roaming the streets, waving his gun around.Moderator, ClubPA Mod Emeritus
    edited May 2008
    ElJeffe's Guide To Picking Up Totally Awesome Women

    Chapter One:

    You will not be picking up awesome women any time soon, because you are stupid and immature enough to be reading a fucking book about how to pick up women. Put this book down and come back when you stop being a dumb-ass.

    Chapter Two:

    Are you no longer a dumb-ass? Good. Go find a women you think is cool. Talk to her. Be yourself. Does she like you? Good. You're probably off having fun with her as we speak, because when you're not a dumbass and you find a woman who's not a dumbass and you share the same interests, things fall into place.



    The End

    ElJeffe on
    I submitted an entry to Lego Ideas, and if 10,000 people support me, it'll be turned into an actual Lego set!If you'd like to see and support my submission, follow this link.
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    RichyRichy Registered User regular
    edited May 2008
    Suddenly, the "ladder theory" site starts referring to women as "bitches".

    And it refers to critics as "intellectual whores".

    Good stuff!
    Yeah, it's scientific all right. I can't tell you how many peer-reviewed papers I've read that referred to their subject matter as bitches. Just by taking the latest journal, I see "Computational comparative study of English words and bitches words" and "Cross-lingual latent semantic analysis for bitches modelling".

    Richy on
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    Bullfrogof7272Bullfrogof7272 Registered User regular
    edited May 2008
    Richy wrote: »
    Suddenly, the "ladder theory" site starts referring to women as "bitches".

    And it refers to critics as "intellectual whores".

    Good stuff!
    Yeah, it's scientific all right. I can't tell you how many peer-reviewed papers I've read that referred to their subject matter as bitches. Just by taking the latest journal, I see "Computational comparative study of English words and bitches words" and "Cross-lingual latent semantic analysis for bitches modelling".

    Ladder Theory, first presented in GTA by Professor Brucie.

    Bullfrogof7272 on
    the hammer, is my penis.
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    TarranonTarranon Registered User regular
    edited May 2008
    oh god brucie is the best character ever

    Tarranon on
    You could be anywhere
    On the black screen
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    TrowizillaTrowizilla Registered User regular
    edited May 2008
    The "Man Bible" really does feel like just another "Waaaah why can't I get women? It's not because I'm creepy/boring/don't ask anyone one/cripplingly shy, it's because they're not really people with their own individual preferences." It's incredibly bitter and misogynistic, and reminds me heavily of Diva Lion's rant on "Nice Guys" here.

    Trowizilla on
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    AegeriAegeri Tiny wee bacteriums Plateau of LengRegistered User regular
    edited May 2008
    I haven't read the man bible but if you stood up to her after being submissive for so many years

    Well, it wasn't entirely one way, but this was the first major decision :p

    It kind of (even though this is irrelevant, I still feel the need to explain, funny that isn't it?) went:

    She was moving down to my city -> Finding a flat we both liked -> She suddenly wants to buy a house in another city (where I am not) -> I realise it's financial suicide [for both of us] -> I tell her this is implausible unless I quit my PhD -> She tells me she's no longer moving down (post argument time 3 days) -> She dumps me without explanation or ever talking to me again, or even telling me directly (I find out from her sister, post argument time 7 days)

    But in the end, it was a shit relationship and I allowed myself to be used by someone who is inherently manipulative and dishonest. In many ways, I probably avoided a bullet.

    Edit: On nice guys/ladder theory bullshit. Honestly, I don't get the whole thing with this anyway. It's like people assume if a woman has male friends, she wants to have sex with them or something. If they don't advance to a relationship, which is something she might not want at all anyway, they feel as if they are being rejected or whatever unfairly. Personally, they should just man the fuck up, move on and find someone else. If they are truly as pathetic and petty to drop a good friend because she won't have sex with them as they expect, then they are just assholes and it's their loss - not hers.

    Aegeri on
    The Roleplayer's Guild: My blog for roleplaying games, advice and adventuring.
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    ege02ege02 __BANNED USERS regular
    edited May 2008
    Be yourself.

    Lol. Worst fucking advice ever.

    If "being yourself" worked, you'd see everyone with awesome women/men.

    ege02 on
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    ElJeffeElJeffe Not actually a mod. Roaming the streets, waving his gun around.Moderator, ClubPA Mod Emeritus
    edited May 2008
    ege02 wrote: »
    Be yourself.

    Lol. Worst fucking advice ever.

    If "being yourself" worked, you'd see everyone with awesome women/men.

    The corollary is to make sure "yourself" isn't a total wank. If he is, then adjust "yourself" until he isn't.

    But yeah, "be yourself" is the best advice ever, unless you plan on leading a double life. Do you really want to be with a woman who likes you based on some doof you pretend to be?

    ElJeffe on
    I submitted an entry to Lego Ideas, and if 10,000 people support me, it'll be turned into an actual Lego set!If you'd like to see and support my submission, follow this link.
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    TubeTube Registered User admin
    edited May 2008
    See I've seen that guy Mystery and his funny little pickup show and I read the wiki and ended up realising that I'd rather not get laid than get all the dumb action I can handle by being a tool.

    Tube on
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    KageraKagera Imitating the worst people. Since 2004Registered User regular
    edited May 2008
    ElJeffe wrote: »
    Do you really want to be with a woman who likes you based on some doof you pretend to be?

    Is that woman Kate Beckinsale? If so then yes, a million times yes.

    Kagera on
    My neck, my back, my FUPA and my crack.
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    AegeriAegeri Tiny wee bacteriums Plateau of LengRegistered User regular
    edited May 2008
    See I've seen that guy Mystery and his funny little pickup show and I read the wiki and ended up realising that I'd rather not get laid than get all the dumb action I can handle by being a tool.

    I used to be a 'nice guy' of the bad sort in highschool and was a general asshole. I wish I could go back and beat the shit out of myself for being such a tool: because I know now a lot of the girls there had a lot of respect for me, but that I acted like too much of a completely creepy dipshit for their liking.

    Aegeri on
    The Roleplayer's Guild: My blog for roleplaying games, advice and adventuring.
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    LadyMLadyM Registered User regular
    edited May 2008
    Konova wrote: »
    Here's a link I found on google: Alpha Male Mythology, making the same points as you.

    Btw, I find the stark contrast in discourse between the H/A forum and D/D, funny. Then again, I'm fairly new to using these forums.

    Woot, that site uses the lesser prairie chicken as an example--I'm working with those this summer! Awesome!

    NEWTON1.GIF

    Annnnyway . . . I'm reading the Man Bible page right now and all I can say is "WTF?"

    I mean, really . . . a sign that she wants you is that she offers you gum?
    Offers you gum

    While you're driving her home from your date, she pulls a pack of gum from her purse, slips a piece into her mouth and asks if you'd like a piece as

    well. Maybe she won't be inviting you to bed, but chances are she's expecting a little tongue action in the very near future.

    o_O

    LadyM on
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    The CatThe Cat Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited May 2008
    ahaha. That's gold.

    The Cat on
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    Kate of LokysKate of Lokys Registered User regular
    edited May 2008
    LadyM wrote: »
    I mean, really . . . a sign that she wants you is that she offers you gum?
    Offers you gum

    While you're driving her home from your date, she pulls a pack of gum from her purse, slips a piece into her mouth and asks if you'd like a piece as

    well. Maybe she won't be inviting you to bed, but chances are she's expecting a little tongue action in the very near future.

    o_O
    Or maybe it's just that your breath stinks because you were too busy reading shitty misogynistic embittered generalizations about women to remember to brush your teeth before your date.

    Seriously. If I was on a date with someone, and they were all "Um, would you like some gum or something?", my first response would not be a knowing leer and an internal "Giggity giggity, time to limber up Gene Jr. for a spelunking expedition!", it would be "Ohshi- I knew I shouldn't have had the garlic bread."

    I guess this is why I'm stuck here in a successful, loving year-long relationship instead of getting laid by attention whoring, gold-digging manipulative bitches every night :(

    Kate of Lokys on
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    ege02ege02 __BANNED USERS regular
    edited May 2008
    ElJeffe wrote: »
    ege02 wrote: »
    Be yourself.

    Lol. Worst fucking advice ever.

    If "being yourself" worked, you'd see everyone with awesome women/men.

    The corollary is to make sure "yourself" isn't a total wank. If he is, then adjust "yourself" until he isn't.

    But yeah, "be yourself" is the best advice ever, unless you plan on leading a double life. Do you really want to be with a woman who likes you based on some doof you pretend to be?

    The corollary isn't necessary once you adjust the original advice to "be your best self."

    Because there's mountains of difference between "[just] be yourself" and "be your best self."

    The way "[just] be yourself]" is used and interpreted is basically, well, just sit there and do nothing and eventually a woman will come and find you and realize you for the rare jewel that you are!

    It's just as much bullshit as all this pick-up stuff.

    ege02 on
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    geckahngeckahn Registered User regular
    edited May 2008
    ege02 wrote: »
    Be yourself.

    Lol. Worst fucking advice ever.

    If "being yourself" worked, you'd see everyone with awesome women/men.

    This assumes that "yourself" isnt a loser a fucking tool bag.

    I'm always myself. Works for me.

    geckahn on
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    geckahngeckahn Registered User regular
    edited May 2008
    Dracula wrote: »
    I like that it says that Sexually Confident Men:
    # Don't have to trade money or gifts for sex (a.k.a. "dating")

    So I guess all women are essentially prostitutes.

    This is essentially true. If you make slight alterations to his case. You know who the guy at the bar that never gets laid is? the guy who buys girls drinks.

    I'll buy friends drinks, be they girls or guys, but god help me if some trick asks me to buy her a drink. Not a fucking chance.

    geckahn on
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    The CatThe Cat Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited May 2008
    'some trick' huh

    The Cat on
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    MedopineMedopine __BANNED USERS regular
    edited May 2008
    ege02 wrote: »
    ElJeffe wrote: »
    ege02 wrote: »
    Be yourself.

    Lol. Worst fucking advice ever.

    If "being yourself" worked, you'd see everyone with awesome women/men.

    The corollary is to make sure "yourself" isn't a total wank. If he is, then adjust "yourself" until he isn't.

    But yeah, "be yourself" is the best advice ever, unless you plan on leading a double life. Do you really want to be with a woman who likes you based on some doof you pretend to be?

    The corollary isn't necessary once you adjust the original advice to "be your best self."

    Because there's mountains of difference between "[just] be yourself" and "be your best self."

    The way "[just] be yourself]" is used and interpreted is basically, well, just sit there and do nothing and eventually a woman will come and find you and realize you for the rare jewel that you are!

    It's just as much bullshit as all this pick-up stuff.

    Wait, I thought you subscribed to that shit ege

    All freezin' and closin' and shit

    Medopine on
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    MedopineMedopine __BANNED USERS regular
    edited May 2008
    geckahn wrote: »
    Dracula wrote: »
    I like that it says that Sexually Confident Men:
    # Don't have to trade money or gifts for sex (a.k.a. "dating")

    So I guess all women are essentially prostitutes.

    This is essentially true. If you make slight alterations to his case. You know who the guy at the bar that never gets laid is? the guy who buys girls drinks.

    I'll buy friends drinks, be they girls or guys, but god help me if some trick asks me to buy her a drink. Not a fucking chance.

    Are you joking or just stupid

    Medopine on
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    AegeriAegeri Tiny wee bacteriums Plateau of LengRegistered User regular
    edited May 2008
    "Some trick" is a new description to me. I don't believe I've heard that before.

    Aegeri on
    The Roleplayer's Guild: My blog for roleplaying games, advice and adventuring.
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    RonaldoTheGypsyRonaldoTheGypsy Yes, yes Registered User regular
    edited May 2008
    trick_listeningparty01.jpg

    Trick daddy? He's a Trick.

    RonaldoTheGypsy on
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    QuidQuid Definitely not a banana Registered User regular
    edited May 2008
    I admit I'm biased on the matter but I think rad's pretty awesome and if anything probably would have been better off not being myself at multiple points.

    Quid on
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    ege02ege02 __BANNED USERS regular
    edited May 2008
    Medopine wrote: »
    ege02 wrote: »
    ElJeffe wrote: »
    ege02 wrote: »
    Be yourself.

    Lol. Worst fucking advice ever.

    If "being yourself" worked, you'd see everyone with awesome women/men.

    The corollary is to make sure "yourself" isn't a total wank. If he is, then adjust "yourself" until he isn't.

    But yeah, "be yourself" is the best advice ever, unless you plan on leading a double life. Do you really want to be with a woman who likes you based on some doof you pretend to be?

    The corollary isn't necessary once you adjust the original advice to "be your best self."

    Because there's mountains of difference between "[just] be yourself" and "be your best self."

    The way "[just] be yourself]" is used and interpreted is basically, well, just sit there and do nothing and eventually a woman will come and find you and realize you for the rare jewel that you are!

    It's just as much bullshit as all this pick-up stuff.

    Wait, I thought you subscribed to that shit ege

    All freezin' and closin' and shit

    There are a lot of things I learned out of it - mostly about myself, ironically - but unlike "PUAs" I never followed it religiously and treated it as gospel.

    And we did have this conversation before: there are countless schools of thought within the pick-up culture. Some are less retarded than others. A select few are actually non-sexist, mature, and, dare I say, intelligent.

    ege02 on
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    MedopineMedopine __BANNED USERS regular
    edited May 2008
    Sorry, but "pick-up culture" itself is abhorrent to me.

    Medopine on
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    ElkiElki get busy Moderator, ClubPA Mod Emeritus
    edited May 2008
    ElJeffe wrote: »
    ElJeffe's Guide To Picking Up Totally Awesome Women

    Chapter One:

    You will not be picking up awesome women any time soon, because you are stupid and immature enough to be reading a fucking book about how to pick up women. Put this book down and come back when you stop being a dumb-ass.

    Chapter Two:

    Are you no longer a dumb-ass? Good. Go find a women you think is cool. Talk to her. Be yourself. Does she like you? Good. You're probably off having fun with her as we speak, because when you're not a dumbass and you find a woman who's not a dumbass and you share the same interests, things fall into place.



    The End

    Sign my copy, please!

    Elki on
    smCQ5WE.jpg
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    Loren MichaelLoren Michael Registered User regular
    edited May 2008
    Advice: Be like me. Plastic surgery may be necessary.

    Loren Michael on
    a7iea7nzewtq.jpg
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    ege02ege02 __BANNED USERS regular
    edited May 2008
    Medopine wrote: »
    Sorry, but "pick-up culture" itself is abhorrent to me.

    That's like hating all Christians or something.

    But hey, if you're so obsessed with the need to judge something you only have a half-assed understanding of, more power to you I suppose. :|

    ege02 on
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    KonovaKonova Registered User regular
    edited May 2008
    ege02 wrote: »
    Medopine wrote: »
    Sorry, but "pick-up culture" itself is abhorrent to me.

    That's like hating all Christians or something.

    You've sure got the martyr complex down pat.

    Konova on
    "It's not murder, it's surprise death!"
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    NocturneNocturne Registered User regular
    edited May 2008
    ege02 wrote: »
    Medopine wrote: »
    Sorry, but "pick-up culture" itself is abhorrent to me.

    That's like hating all Christians or something.

    But hey, if you're so obsessed with the need to judge something you only have a half-assed understanding of, more power to you I suppose. :|

    Well let's not group together "Pick-up culture" with people who might honestly need advice on social skills. Some people might just be misdirected in thinking they need a book like that, which is why it would be oh so beneficial if they picked up ElJeffe's book instead. Then they might realize they just need to develop their social skills rather than reading a Nintendo Power full of secret codes on how to get 99 women.

    Nocturne on
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    IncenjucarIncenjucar VChatter Seattle, WARegistered User regular
    edited May 2008
    ege02 wrote: »
    Medopine wrote: »
    Sorry, but "pick-up culture" itself is abhorrent to me.

    That's like hating all Christians or something.

    But hey, if you're so obsessed with the need to judge something you only have a half-assed understanding of, more power to you I suppose. :|

    Let me be the first to say Fuck Christians and Pick Up Culture with the same pneumatic drill.

    That said, there's nothing wrong with picking someone up if you're honest about the temporary nature of your intentions and the fact that you're just working the shotgun approach.

    Making a culture out of it though is pretty sad.

    Sonic Fan Furry sad.

    Because at least they're honest.

    Incenjucar on
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    KrunkMcGrunkKrunkMcGrunk Registered User regular
    edited May 2008
    I just read through that man bible. It's pretty much like any other self-help book. Some of is good advice, some of it is bad advice.

    When it comes to meeting people of the opposite sex, there are good guidelines to follow (be open, be fun, don't judge, set your own ego aside) but ultimately you have to just experience it, and feel it out. It's worked pretty well for me.

    Also, I have read The Game and one of Mystery's books. Some of the pick-up stuff seems interesting and useful, but other parts of it seem pretty worthless. It has really helped me set my ego aside and realize that if someone rejects me outright, it doesn't really matter at all. That's about all the usefulness I took out of it.

    KrunkMcGrunk on
    mrsatansig.png
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    ege02ege02 __BANNED USERS regular
    edited May 2008
    Nocturne wrote: »
    ege02 wrote: »
    Medopine wrote: »
    Sorry, but "pick-up culture" itself is abhorrent to me.

    That's like hating all Christians or something.

    But hey, if you're so obsessed with the need to judge something you only have a half-assed understanding of, more power to you I suppose. :|

    Well let's not group together "Pick-up culture" with people who might honestly need advice on social skills. Some people might just be misdirected in thinking they need a book like that, which is why it would be oh so beneficial if they picked up ElJeffe's book instead. Then they might realize they just need to develop their social skills rather than reading a Nintendo Power full of secret codes on how to get 99 women.

    I don't really understand this stigma towards books, really.

    Social skills are developed the same way other skills are developed. You first learn the how-to (either by taking a class, or watching other people do it, or - get this - reading a book), then you go practice and practice until you get good at it.

    And you know, I think it is perfectly normal for someone who lacks social skills to prefer books over more interpersonal ways of learning, considering that hey, they do lack social skills, and there's a good chance they are not comfortable with admitting to others that they do. Hell, some people are so shy and/or insecure that they can't even ask their own parents for advice and help. As opposed to this, picking up a book (no pun intended) is pretty safe; you don't have to face any real or imaginary external judgments from tools (such as some of you guys and gals) and you can learn some basic and intermediate stuff just by reading at times and in places of your choosing.

    I do agree that there are a lot of PU books out there - and this is a problem that plagues the self-help industry in general - that are marketed with promises of short-cuts and magic fixes, so the whole category gives this impression of "exploiting" people who naively and foolishly look for such things. But that doesn't mean you should judge every book by its cover and every culture by a few of its more infamous and outspoken members.

    ege02 on
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    geckahngeckahn Registered User regular
    edited May 2008
    The Cat wrote: »
    'some trick' huh

    This would be in reference to a girl who hits on guys for the sole purpose of getting free drinks.

    so, yeah.

    geckahn on
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    IncenjucarIncenjucar VChatter Seattle, WARegistered User regular
    edited May 2008
    geckahn wrote: »
    The Cat wrote: »
    'some trick' huh

    This would be in reference to a girl who hits on guys for the sole purpose of getting free drinks.

    so, yeah.

    One of the benefits of never offering to buy things for strangers.

    Incenjucar on
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    ViolentChemistryViolentChemistry __BANNED USERS regular
    edited May 2008
    Still pretty sure you can teach a nerd to have confidence without convincing him that women are broken/children/whores/objects.

    Edit: Also remaining confident that I can buy someone a drink when I'm drunk without having a conniption in the morning.

    ViolentChemistry on
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    duallainduallain Registered User regular
    edited May 2008
    Still pretty sure you can teach a nerd to have confidence without convincing him that women are broken/children/whores/objects.

    Edit: Also remaining confident that I can buy someone a drink when I'm drunk without having a conniption in the morning.
    Some of them are though. It's hard to deal with that more than finding a person who is as healthy and intelligent as you are. (I am assuming that most nerds are above average intelligence.)

    duallain on
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    ViolentChemistryViolentChemistry __BANNED USERS regular
    edited May 2008
    duallain wrote: »
    Still pretty sure you can teach a nerd to have confidence without convincing him that women are broken/children/whores/objects.

    Edit: Also remaining confident that I can buy someone a drink when I'm drunk without having a conniption in the morning.
    Some of them are though. It's hard to deal with that more than finding a person who is as healthy and intelligent as you are. (I am assuming that most nerds are above average intelligence.)

    That's lovely and some guys are psychopaths who will rape their own fucking daughters but so what? And that is, in my experience, a foolish assumption.

    ViolentChemistry on
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    Loren MichaelLoren Michael Registered User regular
    edited May 2008
    geckahn wrote: »
    The Cat wrote: »
    'some trick' huh

    This would be in reference to a girl who hits on guys for the sole purpose of getting free drinks.

    so, yeah.

    The paradigm is reversed in China. Girls buy me drinks.

    Loren Michael on
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