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My Appendix Was a Grendel!
Vann Diras
Registered User regular
Registered User regular
So for like the past four or five months I've kept getting dreadfully sick. Doctors couldn't figure out why, nothing seemed to really work. It was like we needed Hugh Laurie to come save me or some shit but that wouldn't work because he's just an actor. A British actor.
But thankfully, we found the problem! Sunday morning around 4 AM I began vomiting uncontrollably. So we go to the emergency room. After a day of dicking around, we find out that my appendix has exploded! No, not ruptured. When the appendix ruptures, it just like gets a hole in it an leaks all it's poisonous shit out. Mine blew up - there were pieces of appendix melded to my spine and all over my abdominal region. Fucker infected the entirety of my gallbladder, too!
Oddly enough, this probably occurred something like two weeks ago. Two weeks! When someone's appendix ruptures, usually they die within like a few hours from the toxins. I lived 2 weeks, motherfucker! How's that feel?
So after having my gallbladder removed as well as the remains of my badass exploding appendix, I'm pretty okay now.
In all honesty I should be dead. But it's pretty cool that I'm not, right?
But thankfully, we found the problem! Sunday morning around 4 AM I began vomiting uncontrollably. So we go to the emergency room. After a day of dicking around, we find out that my appendix has exploded! No, not ruptured. When the appendix ruptures, it just like gets a hole in it an leaks all it's poisonous shit out. Mine blew up - there were pieces of appendix melded to my spine and all over my abdominal region. Fucker infected the entirety of my gallbladder, too!
Oddly enough, this probably occurred something like two weeks ago. Two weeks! When someone's appendix ruptures, usually they die within like a few hours from the toxins. I lived 2 weeks, motherfucker! How's that feel?
So after having my gallbladder removed as well as the remains of my badass exploding appendix, I'm pretty okay now.
In all honesty I should be dead. But it's pretty cool that I'm not, right?
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I mean, if your heart exploded and you lived two weeks, yeah, that would be something.
I mean, even if your liver or a kidney blew up, that would be something.
But an appendix just sounds lame.
Let's blow up your organ and let deadly toxins flow throughout your body and see how long you go.
better luck next time.
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I'm not saying it's not deadly
just that it doesn't sound particularly impressive.
If you say you got attacked by a deer, you sound like a faggot.
If the contents enter your bloodstream you can be in serious shit.
Happened to me, it actuall ruptured when I slipped on the way to the bathroom from my hospital bed (after being in for uncontrollable vomiting and nausea for like 2 weeks solid)
Next thing I know I wake up its a day later and I have a scar on my side.
Let's see if he notices.
Look up.
yes.
lets.
I challenge you to fisticuffs you big ol' gay.
First you must grow large, handlebar mustaches. In the meantime, I will construct an old-timey style boxing ring.
Secret Satan 2013 Wishlist
Interestingly enough, when I first arrived at the emergency room they had a couple guesses. Previous doctors had guessed appendicitis, but since I would get sick then get better over and over, they didn't want to open me up to make sure.
At one point, the hospital doctors thought it might be kidney stones. They took a CT scan and decided they wanted to take another to see if they could find the stones. They come back and my parents are all, "well? are there kidney stones."
the doctors were all, "no. No there are not." and from then on we knew about my incredible appendix.
more like store and concentrate, not manufacture
That's what I would do. I have only been a doctor (read: liar) for a few months, but appendicitis is the most common causes of abdomen pain and they usually check that out first. It could be bad gas and they check for an issue with the appendix. Now if the appendix is fucking missing... because it exploded... it wouldn't take them that long to figure out.
Edit: Was your FIRST CT scan this most recent trip to the hospital? WTF, we CT everybody who comes in just to say Hi now days. Where the hell do you live?
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I'm halfway there already.
I gotta get a really old, really thin wife beater and some suspenders.
don't you need your gallbladder
Give this man a Nobel Prize.
contains lymphatic tissue, might have something to do with controlling bacteria entering large intesting.
Too bad I'm too lazy to actually get anything done.
EDIT- Yeah, we just finished up with the lymphatic, digestive, and immune systems, so I know about that part.
But c'mon, a near totally useless organ?
That's just silly
See now, awhile ago out doctor said he'd like to do exploratory surgery to see if it was appendicitis. At this point CT scans didn't tell him anything because I had a huge amount of inflammation blocking his view of the appendix. The other option was to take some drugs and see if it was just an infection.
Well, since I was feeling sick at all by then and Christmas was right around the corner, my parents chose the drugs.
In other news, I got my 18th birthday present early as a consolation prize for all this nonsense. New guitar yeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaah
If you remove it, you're fucked.
most probably functional in early childhood in regulating bacterial growth in large intestine and colon. Somewhat useless later on.
preferable to keep it, but, not really. There are complications in removal sometimes, but most times bile will be directly delivered from liver to intestine through the bile ducts
Ah, well new guitar makes it all better. What kind?
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Structure is more appropriate.
what does it mean when it blows up
Anyway, congrats on not dying. That's quite nice.
Kidney stones are worse, ha ha ha ha