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inter-religious marriage

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    NATIKNATIK DenmarkRegistered User regular
    edited May 2008
    I don't know about the USA but over here most kinds of christians do it, atleast once in a while. I have done it myself a few times and I am a fanatical atheist, although I did it during the time where I went to church to prepare for my confirmation, only after which I really dumped christianity.

    EDIT: fair enough if there is more too it in the catholic church then I guess I may understand it, it just seemed weird.

    NATIK on
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    LadyMLadyM Registered User regular
    edited May 2008
    Warbadger wrote: »
    Dagrabbit wrote: »
    Usually the biggest issue in inter-faith marriages is what to do with the kids. She wants to raise the kids Catholic, which is fine by me because having an opinion beats out "I don't know." I'll probably go to church with her when they're young so they don't have to ask why daddy stays home and plays video games while they have to go to church. As long as both halves of the couple support the one's choice in faiths, most problems can be avoided.

    Right on. See, the issue for me is this: If you are Catholic (for example), how can you be okay with your partner missing out on eternal bliss with you? I don't see how you can just support their belief, unless your own belief is pretty lax and you just shrug when it comes up in conversation.

    All this has been said already in the thread, though, so...meh.

    Catholics don't believe that only Catholics or only Christians go to heaven (according to the official dogma.) Mind you, my crazy brother-in-law still believes Catholics get a "better" heaven than other people. o_O But that's just him, not an official church belief.

    I get what you're saying and how it could/does apply to some other demoninations, though.

    LadyM on
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    DarkPrimusDarkPrimus Registered User regular
    edited May 2008
    The religious assholes in her family are going to be the biggest problem. Obviously a difference in religion isn't going to bother your wife, if she is going to marry you, but ties with some of the family might sour - but if they're the kind of people who are going to throw a shitfit over this sort of thing you don't want to associate with them anyway.

    DarkPrimus on
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    oldsakoldsak Registered User regular
    edited May 2008
    LadyM wrote: »
    Warbadger wrote: »
    Dagrabbit wrote: »
    Usually the biggest issue in inter-faith marriages is what to do with the kids. She wants to raise the kids Catholic, which is fine by me because having an opinion beats out "I don't know." I'll probably go to church with her when they're young so they don't have to ask why daddy stays home and plays video games while they have to go to church. As long as both halves of the couple support the one's choice in faiths, most problems can be avoided.

    Right on. See, the issue for me is this: If you are Catholic (for example), how can you be okay with your partner missing out on eternal bliss with you? I don't see how you can just support their belief, unless your own belief is pretty lax and you just shrug when it comes up in conversation.

    All this has been said already in the thread, though, so...meh.

    Catholics don't believe that only Catholics or only Christians go to heaven (according to the official dogma.) Mind you, my crazy brother-in-law still believes Catholics get a "better" heaven than other people. o_O But that's just him, not an official church belief.

    I get what you're saying and how it could/does apply to some other demoninations, though.

    Yeah, it's not a better heaven so much as Catholics get to take an escalator while everyone else has to take the stairs. This is of course assuming you were a good Catholic.

    oldsak on
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    geckahngeckahn Registered User regular
    edited May 2008
    oldsak wrote: »
    LadyM wrote: »
    Warbadger wrote: »
    Dagrabbit wrote: »
    Usually the biggest issue in inter-faith marriages is what to do with the kids. She wants to raise the kids Catholic, which is fine by me because having an opinion beats out "I don't know." I'll probably go to church with her when they're young so they don't have to ask why daddy stays home and plays video games while they have to go to church. As long as both halves of the couple support the one's choice in faiths, most problems can be avoided.

    Right on. See, the issue for me is this: If you are Catholic (for example), how can you be okay with your partner missing out on eternal bliss with you? I don't see how you can just support their belief, unless your own belief is pretty lax and you just shrug when it comes up in conversation.

    All this has been said already in the thread, though, so...meh.

    Catholics don't believe that only Catholics or only Christians go to heaven (according to the official dogma.) Mind you, my crazy brother-in-law still believes Catholics get a "better" heaven than other people. o_O But that's just him, not an official church belief.

    I get what you're saying and how it could/does apply to some other demoninations, though.

    Yeah, it's not a better heaven so much as Catholics get to take an escalator while everyone else has to take the stairs. This is of course assuming you were a good Catholic.

    Thats Purgatory. And has nothing to do with levels of heaven. So yeah, brother-in-law is nutso.

    geckahn on
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    ElJeffeElJeffe Not actually a mod. Roaming the streets, waving his gun around.Moderator, ClubPA Mod Emeritus
    edited May 2008
    geckahn wrote: »
    ElJeffe wrote: »
    Quid wrote: »
    My wife to be is agnostic and I'm a deist, so we're trying our best to reconcile "I don't know" with "Probably."

    That's really all I've got.

    My wife is Christian and I'm deist, and we have no issues. Her faith is important to her, she likes to go to church sometimes, and she wants our kids to be raised Christian. I have no problems with that, and so we're all good.

    As a deist, I can get along totally with anyone who isn't hardcore about religion to the point of pushing it on other people. This includes those pushy holier then thou atheists. Who actually make me more angry than the religious ones, I think.

    Yeah, I have great respect for people of faith, even if they're extremely devout, as long as they're respectful of other faiths, as well.

    Though I can't really abide the flavor of fundie who divorces himself of all reason and logic in order to defend ridiculous assertions at direct odds with blatant scientific reality. I don't go out of my way to be a dick to them if they're polite, but they just give me the squiggies.

    ElJeffe on
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    oldsakoldsak Registered User regular
    edited May 2008
    Well, I was actually referring to Jesuit theology teacher I once had who said that there were many paths to heaven but Catholics believe they have the most direct one.

    Purgatory is really more where you go if you're not really such a sinner that you should go to hell, but your soul is not pure enough to enter heaven. You go there, pray, and wait for your soul to become pure. It's more like a stop along someone's path to heaven.

    Not that it matters. Didn't the new pope get rid of Purgatory?

    oldsak on
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    geckahngeckahn Registered User regular
    edited May 2008
    oldsak wrote: »
    Well, I was actually referring to Jesuit theology teacher I once had who said that there were many paths to heaven but Catholics believe they have the most direct one.

    Purgatory is really more where you go if you're not really such a sinner that you should go to hell, but your soul is not pure enough to enter heaven. You go there, pray, and wait for your soul to become pure. It's more like a stop along someone's path to heaven.

    Not that it matters. Didn't the new pope get rid of Purgatory?

    He got rid of limbo, which is different, but sorta related.

    Limbo is where the unbaptized go, those who havnt been removed from original sin, if theyre kids or adults who commit an "act of love" that can take the place of baptism. It was a nice place, but it wasnt heaven.

    Basically it was all about balancing the rationale of baptism and how it interacts with the non-christian world, with the mercy of God. The new pope (and this started under John Paul II) pretty much decided god was more merciful, and that they just went right to heaven.

    geckahn on
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    ZombiemamboZombiemambo Registered User regular
    edited May 2008
    Seriously though, she is amazing, fun, open-minded, intelligent, but

    ...And that's where I stopped caring. You said yourself she doesn't try to force the Gospel down your throat, so it's a non-issue. Organized religion can make things unnecessarily difficult.

    Zombiemambo on
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    SlickShughesSlickShughes Registered User regular
    edited May 2008
    oldsak wrote: »
    Well, I was actually referring to Jesuit theology teacher I once had who said that there were many paths to heaven but Catholics believe they have the most direct one.

    Jesuits are a special case. My Jesuit religion teacher told us often that his second choice in religion behind RC was atheist, and encouraged us all to consider atheism (among other ideas) before just blindly accepting what we were told by our parents.

    Wait, your location is NY... did you go to Fordham?

    SlickShughes on
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    EmperorSethEmperorSeth Registered User regular
    edited May 2008
    oldsak wrote: »
    Well, I was actually referring to Jesuit theology teacher I once had who said that there were many paths to heaven but Catholics believe they have the most direct one.

    Purgatory is really more where you go if you're not really such a sinner that you should go to hell, but your soul is not pure enough to enter heaven. You go there, pray, and wait for your soul to become pure. It's more like a stop along someone's path to heaven.

    Not that it matters. Didn't the new pope get rid of Purgatory?

    Nope, just Limbo. That was more a pre-baptismal thing. Though it also means he unleashed armies of slaad upon the world.

    I kind of like the idea of Purgatory, even if I am a universalist. It sort works as God's rehab, which always made more sense to me than Hell, even when I was a Catholic.

    EmperorSeth on
    You know what? Nanowrimo's cancelled on account of the world is stupid.
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    TrowizillaTrowizilla Registered User regular
    edited May 2008
    My mom was raised Jewish, my dad Methodist, but they were (and kinda still are) huge hippies, so I was raised agnostic-hippie. They've been together for about 25 years, so, obviously, things worked out. It was a pretty good way to grow up; they let me go to any church I liked with my friends, and my grandmother bought me a really pretty bible for my sixteenth birthday, but other than that, not a lot of religious influence. My dad's parents went to church quite a bit, but my uncle (their oldest son) is gay, so I think that mitigated any fundie-ness they might have developed.

    Now, my boyfriend's parents are very Episcopal and would obviously like me to be a Christian, but they're not obnoxious about it. We go with them to church on Christmas and sit through some bad singing and a sermon, which is a small price to pay for being left alone the rest of the year. Boyfriend takes communion, I don't, and it kind of creeps me out that he does it (olol cannibalism), but again, small price.

    Trowizilla on
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    Salvation122Salvation122 Registered User regular
    edited May 2008
    The kids went on a trip to the creation museum last year, and when I heard about that I... well, I did what all of you would probably expect me to do. Right to her grandmother and everybody else in the family.
    Acted like a giant jackass and embarrassed yourself and your girlfriend?

    Salvation122 on
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    Salvation122Salvation122 Registered User regular
    edited May 2008
    GungHo wrote: »
    My current girlfriend is Catholic and I simply tell her I won't take Communion. I've gone to church a few times with her, especially on the "big days" like Palm Sunday, Easter, etc. mostly because it makes her feel better. However, I don't take Communion because I think it'd be disingenuous for me to do it.
    Unless you're Confirmed (and freshly Confessed, although a crapload of people tend to ignore that one) you're actually really not supposed to, so you're doing the right thing.

    Salvation122 on
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    geckahngeckahn Registered User regular
    edited May 2008
    oldsak wrote: »
    Well, I was actually referring to Jesuit theology teacher I once had who said that there were many paths to heaven but Catholics believe they have the most direct one.

    Jesuits are a special case. My Jesuit religion teacher told us often that his second choice in religion behind RC was atheist, and encouraged us all to consider atheism (among other ideas) before just blindly accepting what we were told by our parents.

    Wait, your location is NY... did you go to Fordham?

    One of my friends went to Fordham. He told me one of his jesuit teachers told them that he believed because of Pascals wager. Which is a pretty ballsy thing for a teacher at a catholic school to say.

    geckahn on
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    SlickShughesSlickShughes Registered User regular
    edited May 2008
    geckahn wrote: »
    oldsak wrote: »
    Well, I was actually referring to Jesuit theology teacher I once had who said that there were many paths to heaven but Catholics believe they have the most direct one.

    Jesuits are a special case. My Jesuit religion teacher told us often that his second choice in religion behind RC was atheist, and encouraged us all to consider atheism (among other ideas) before just blindly accepting what we were told by our parents.

    Wait, your location is NY... did you go to Fordham?

    One of my friends went to Fordham. He told me one of his jesuit teachers told them that he believed because of Pascals wager. Which is a pretty ballsy thing for a teacher at a catholic school to say.

    Totally the same dude. He was in the Exorcist, he's the priest at the very end who gives last rites to Fr. Damien after he falls down the steps. Oh shit, he's got a wiki page now! Fr. O'Malley Best teacher I ever had. Being a Catholic school, religion was a required course all 4 years, but O'Malley knew that was bullshit and taught the corse as general morals and ethics as opposed to dogma. Actually, for the most part the religion teachers I had were good teachers, not crazy fundie like you might expect and didn't force anything on us. O'Malley is a cut above though.

    SlickShughes on
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    FeralFeral MEMETICHARIZARD interior crocodile alligator ⇔ ǝɹʇɐǝɥʇ ǝᴉʌoɯ ʇǝloɹʌǝɥɔ ɐ ǝʌᴉɹp ᴉRegistered User regular
    edited May 2008
    My dad was a (weak) atheist and my mom is Roman Catholic.

    They were happily married for 31 years until my dad kicked the bucket.

    Neither one cared to force the other's beliefs down their throats. My dad went to church for weddings, funerals, and my first communion. Otherwise, my mom went alone or took the kids.

    Neither of them could prove that the other was right, and their core values and ethics were similar, so whether or not there was some old bearded dude and his skinny bearded son up in the sky passing judgment was irrelevant.

    Feral on
    every person who doesn't like an acquired taste always seems to think everyone who likes it is faking it. it should be an official fallacy.

    the "no true scotch man" fallacy.
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    Salvation122Salvation122 Registered User regular
    edited May 2008
    Jesuits are awesome.

    Salvation122 on
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    MongerMonger I got the ham stink. Dallas, TXRegistered User regular
    edited May 2008
    I'm sure I know of several inter-religion marriages, but I can only think of one at the moment. I had a friend in high school who's mother (assorted white) was Christian and father (Iranian) was kind of half-Muslim and half-Agnostic (and all awesome). As far as I know, there weren't any religious issues between them, and any between their families had long been ironed out. Come to think of it, I think they had the most stable marriage I've ever been around. Kids were all raised Christian.

    Fun fact: Apparently, one of the Iranian "death to America" chants is to the same tune as the theme from Spongebob. This fact often was the cause of hilarity.

    Monger on
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    LadyMLadyM Registered User regular
    edited May 2008
    Jesuits are awesome.

    I went to a Jesuit high school and the Jesuits there were great and very respectful of beliefs from other religions to atheism.

    LadyM on
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    NerdgasmicNerdgasmic __BANNED USERS regular
    edited May 2008
    Monger wrote: »
    I'm sure I know of several inter-religion marriages, but I can only think of one at the moment. I had a friend in high school who's mother (assorted white) was Christian and father (Iranian) was kind of half-Muslim and half-Agnostic (and all awesome). As far as I know, there weren't any religious issues between them, and any between their families had long been ironed out. Come to think of it, I think they had the most stable marriage I've ever been around. Kids were all raised Christian.

    Fun fact: Apparently, one of the Iranian "death to America" chants is to the same tune as the theme from Spongebob. This fact often was the cause of hilarity.
    Is there an English translation for the name of that song?

    Nerdgasmic on
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    MikeManMikeMan Registered User regular
    edited May 2008
    It depends on the people more than the religion.

    There are assholes in every religion and there are chill, laidback awesome people.

    When you start talking about devout, consistent believers, as opposed to what most people are (wishy washy and non-committal) you'll start running into more problems.

    MikeMan on
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    Loren MichaelLoren Michael Registered User regular
    edited May 2008
    It just depends on how much you care. There's not much more to say.

    Loren Michael on
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    radroadkillradroadkill MDRegistered User regular
    edited May 2008
    I think Quid summed up our situation perfectly.

    Sometimes I wonder if we'll ever make it past the challenge but we try so hard.


    But, really, if you're doing fine now it will probably stay that way but you definitely need to think about the kid situation and the best way to handle it.

    radroadkill on
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    Matt_SMatt_S Registered User regular
    edited May 2008
    LadyM wrote: »
    Jesuits are awesome.

    I went to a Jesuit high school and the Jesuits there were great and very respectful of beliefs from other religions to atheism.

    Agreed. I was a pretty devout Catholic a couple years back, and I was considering going into the priesthood with the Jesuits. They're a wonderful group...I chill out on a religious message board, and it's hilarious to hear the ultra-Conservative, pre-Vatican II fundies go on and on about how evil they are and how they want Pope Benny to get rid of the order altogether.

    Which would be absolutely terrible, but I don't think our Holy Father would go that far.

    But yes, God bless the Jesuits.

    Matt_S on
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    Salvation122Salvation122 Registered User regular
    edited May 2008
    You'd be surprised, man. The Franciscans have been "officially" disbanded like half a dozen times.

    Now, Franciscans are kind of assholes, but still.

    Salvation122 on
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    SpeakerSpeaker Registered User regular
    edited May 2008
    Aren't the Jesuits kind of illegitimate in terms of official Catholicism these days? Or in trouble with the pope or something?

    I heard something about it but I don't really follow that kind of thing.

    Speaker on
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    DarkPrimusDarkPrimus Registered User regular
    edited May 2008
    If you aren't a specific sort of Christian you aren't a real Christian.

    Didn't know you know that.

    DarkPrimus on
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    Salvation122Salvation122 Registered User regular
    edited May 2008
    Speaker wrote: »
    Aren't the Jesuits kind of illegitimate in terms of official Catholicism these days? Or in trouble with the pope or something?

    I heard something about it but I don't really follow that kind of thing.

    Jesuits have a tendency to piss everyone off, but they make up like 66% of all priests or something similarly absurd so they usually get away with it.

    Salvation122 on
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    SpeakerSpeaker Registered User regular
    edited May 2008
    Yeah, I've heard nothing but good things about them.

    Speaker on
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    geckahngeckahn Registered User regular
    edited May 2008
    Wiki:
    The Jesuits today form the largest religious order of priests and brothers in the Catholic Church, with 19,216 serving in 112 nations on six continents, the largest number being in India followed by those in the United States. The current Superior General of the Jesuits is the Spanish Adolfo Nicolás. The Society is characterized by its ministries in the fields of missionary work, human rights, social justice and, most notably, higher education. It operates colleges and universities in various countries around the world and is particularly active in the Philippines and India. In the United States alone, it maintains over 50 colleges, universities and high schools. A typical conception of the mission of a Jesuit school will often contain such concepts as proposing Christ as the model of human life, the pursuit of excellence in teaching and learning and life-long spiritual and intellectual growth.[15] In Latin America, Liberal Jesuits have had significant influence in the development of liberation theology, a movement which has been highly controversial in the Catholic theological community and condemned by Pope John Paul II on several fundamental aspects.

    geckahn on
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    Matt_SMatt_S Registered User regular
    edited May 2008
    Speaker wrote: »
    Yeah, I've heard nothing but good things about them.

    Besides the whole thing about the Jesuits causing every known world war, civil war, revolution, assassination, rebellion, terrorist act, political and social turmoil ever known to mankind.

    But not to stray off topic too much, my mother is a devout Catholic and my dad is a Methodist, but doesn't adhere strictly to the Methodist denomination. He's more of a generic Christian, but no doubt a devout generic Christian. They wanted to get married in a Catholic church, and the Bishop said it would be permissible as long as the children were brought up in the Church. Hence, I'm a Catholic.

    I'm somewhat of a strong Catholic, but more in the liberal sense - I love my identity and the Church that I was brought up in, but I don't believe it to be infallible, especially in regards to birth control, stem cell research and the like.

    That being said, I wouldn't mind dating or marrying someone of another faith, or even of no faith, just as long as there is mutual respect for each other's belief systems. Kids may pose a problem though.

    Matt_S on
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    SlickShughesSlickShughes Registered User regular
    edited May 2008
    Matt_S wrote: »
    I'm somewhat of a strong Catholic, but more in the liberal sense - I love my identity and the Church that I was brought up in, but I don't believe it to be infallible, especially in regards to birth control, stem cell research and the like.

    I gave up on the Catholic faith when a priest I respected gave a sermon saying that as a Catholic, I was required to be Pro-Life. I'd not even really made a decision about pro-life/pro-choice at that point, but I couldn't stand for not having a choice to make. I've not looked back.

    SlickShughes on
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    Regina FongRegina Fong Allons-y, Alonso Registered User regular
    edited May 2008
    The kids went on a trip to the creation museum last year, and when I heard about that I... well, I did what all of you would probably expect me to do. Right to her grandmother and everybody else in the family.
    Acted like a giant jackass and embarrassed yourself and your girlfriend?



    Truth.

    Regina Fong on
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    Matt_SMatt_S Registered User regular
    edited May 2008
    Matt_S wrote: »
    I'm somewhat of a strong Catholic, but more in the liberal sense - I love my identity and the Church that I was brought up in, but I don't believe it to be infallible, especially in regards to birth control, stem cell research and the like.

    I gave up on the Catholic faith when a priest I respected gave a sermon saying that as a Catholic, I was required to be Pro-Life. I'd not even really made a decision about pro-life/pro-choice at that point, but I couldn't stand for not having a choice to make. I've not looked back.

    Can't say I blame you. Unless there's a part in the Catechism I missed that says that ones Catholic identity hinges on their beliefs on abortion, he wasn't being truthful.

    It's a pretty dumb thing to say, but churches like to pull this stuff all the time. Last year during "Respect Life month" we were handed little plastic fetuses as a reminder of the sanctity of human life.

    I made mine a tiny pair of sunglasses, gave him a little hat and a robe and named him "Cletus the Fetus." He's actually still chilling out in my desk drawer somewhere, I think.

    Matt_S on
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    FallingmanFallingman Registered User regular
    edited May 2008
    I'm engaged to a Hindu girl.
    My firend is engaged to a strict Catholic.

    My relationship raised a few eyebrows in her community - but that was because of the colour of my skin. I've learnt however that Hinduism is comparitively accepting.

    Interestingly - my mate has had all sorts of trouble. And is having to deal with stuff that I dont know if I could handle. She has to get a letter from a Bishop or something in order to be "allowed" to marry a heathen. He will also be required to say that he will raise his children in a faith he doesn't follow etc. Its hard... As agnostics, we find it very distasteful - but he loves her... so what do you do?

    Fallingman on
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    FirstComradeStalinFirstComradeStalin Registered User regular
    edited May 2008
    My family is entirely Hindu, and over the past few years they've had to deal with many of the kids in the family marrying white people rather than other Indians. They've come to terms with all that.

    That said, I know as absolute fact that if any of us ever try to marry a black or Muslim person (especially Muslim) then we'd be entirely disowned by at least half of the family and mostly shunned by the rest.

    FirstComradeStalin on
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    SpeakerSpeaker Registered User regular
    edited May 2008
    It's hard to deal with older generations sometimes.

    Speaker on
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    FallingmanFallingman Registered User regular
    edited May 2008
    My family is entirely Hindu, and over the past few years they've had to deal with many of the kids in the family marrying white people rather than other Indians. They've come to terms with all that.

    That said, I know as absolute fact that if any of us ever try to marry a black or Muslim person (especially Muslim) then we'd be entirely disowned by at least half of the family and mostly shunned by the rest.

    I have heard that that's the case. Her mum is WAY racist.

    We get disapproving looks while walking down the road in some areas... And eating Meat/Drinking has been a few interesting conversations with said mother.

    But I tell you what - we've never had any of the little shitty relationship problems. Coming together to overcome our differences has made our relationship much stronger.

    It is hard not to judge the other's religion/culture though... But I think thats human nature.

    Fallingman on
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    TofystedethTofystedeth Registered User regular
    edited May 2008

    The difference come in that Catholics and some other denominations believe the act literally transforms the bread/wine, while most other believe it is symbolic only. Catholics tend to be compatible with Orthodox churches on this, from memory.

    There's a joke about Mennonites, that's something along the lines of "Catholics believe that the wine is literally transformed into blood. Others believe the wine is symbolic of blood. For Mennonites the wine turns into grape juice."

    On topic, my wife is ostensibly Methodist, but likes Mennonitism. Which is cool, cause I'm mostly Mennonite, and totally go with the "Good Person" thing. I mean. If I believe I could slip into heaven, no way they'd keep her out.

    Tofystedeth on
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