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Rate my Cheezburger (I mean profile)
Rook
Registered User regular
Registered User regular
Seeing as you guys and girls did an excellent job with someone else. And seeing as online I can be a complete asshole. I thought I'd ask you to pretty please offer me some tips on my profile.
It can be found here [xxx]http://www.okcupid.com/profile/[xxx]
I know the photo's need replacing. I only just made up the profile and need to dye hair/take pictures. And I'm only making this as I noticed someone from a club I usually go to is on there and I'd thought I'd sai hey through this but still.
edit: removed link. I'll work on another one, thanks for the help.
It can be found here [xxx]http://www.okcupid.com/profile/[xxx]
I know the photo's need replacing. I only just made up the profile and need to dye hair/take pictures. And I'm only making this as I noticed someone from a club I usually go to is on there and I'd thought I'd sai hey through this but still.
edit: removed link. I'll work on another one, thanks for the help.
Rook on
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More stuff in the first about me thing, but uh, I wouldn't make something you're failing the first thing you bring up. It's totally appropriate in the next section (what you're doing with your life)
Generally just more stuff, more unique stuff namely. Right now you sound like any other dude other than slightly eclectic taste in movies/music and awesome hair.
Also, it's vain not vein in your 6 things you can't live without section
I'd also do a couple of the okcupid tests when you get some spare time, just because I used to peruse those when I was single and they had some very funny results (but, uh, don't do the like "are you a top or a bottom" ones unless you want people msg'ing you about bdsm crap, or things of the like)
But overall, I think in the end the profile came out as rather predictable, and ultimately, I feel like I did not learn much about you by the end. Overall: ominous.
Nothing in the profile comes off as genuine is what I'm saying. "Ohh, I should have put the internet in there. It's pretty sad how ubiquitous it's become that I only just thought about that. " Just sounds pretentious.
I'd really go back and think about what you really want to portray - then be honest about it. If you're seriously thinking you want a real relationship then you've gotta give something real.
Smile. Or at least put a clearer/more inviting picture up.
Check your punctuation and spelling again.
I don't understand your answer to "the first thing people notice about me".
"Spending a lot of time thinking about": why all that political BS? Just leave it at lolcats, that's good enough. Everyone knows the real answer is "sex" anyway.
This is trashy sci-fi (SPACE VIKING!). This is marginally less trashy historical fantasy (omg what if the napoleonic war had dragons?!?). This is riotously trashy "epic" fantasy ("Axis the BattleAxe, bastard nephew of the king and leader of the Axe-Wielders, marches his crack troops north...").
George R.R. Martin writes brutal, intelligent, painstakingly researched medieval-style fantasy. William Gibson *invented* cyberpunk 20 years ago and envisioned technology that is only now being realized. Richard Morgan adds a taut, hard, cynical noir spin to Gibson's style, raising significant questions about consciousness and the body/mind dichotomy.
There are two possibilities here. First, you could honestly just think they're trashy authors. This is bad and you should feel bad, although it could be argued that you're entitled to your own opinion. However, if you really do think they're trashy, why on earth would you advertise reading them? All you would be accomplishing in that case is pissing off people who actually like those authors.
Alternately, you could be trying for the world-weary, jaded, self-deprecating "enthusiasm isn't cool man; I'm just going to mock my own interests before anybody else can, to show how much I don't care about anything." In which case you're being pretentious and passive-aggressive and false-fronted. Ditto with your references to "trashy goth music."
Am I overanalyzing? Sure. But honestly, that whole profile just reeked of calculation. Every time you say something positive - or negative, for that matter - you immediately contradict yourself. "I'm good at running, but my knee hates me." "I have an orchid, but any idiot can keep an orchid alive." "My supervisor is making me fail my post-grad degree, but I guess it's not all his fault."
That profile doesn't say a damned thing about who you actually are, unless who you actually are is an indecisive, minnow-flickering creature who worries more about what people think of him than what he thinks for himself.
Be honest. "I like trashy sci-fi/fantasy like [namedrop four highly-respected authors]" is petty and self-defeating. It would be infinitely more impressive and pleasurable for someone visiting your profile to read something *true*. "I have a secret weakness for terrible 1960s serialized sci-fi stories. They're awkward and badly-written and full of junk science, but there's something endearing about their relentless optimism."
Also, as Medopine pointed out, there are quite a few spelling/grammatical/typographical errors.
Obviously, I disagree with some of things people say, Richard Morgan for instance, wrote a book on lawyers who win clients by having death races, which in my mind is definitely trash, even if it's enjoyable. But they're mostly right.
"indecisive, minnow-flickering creature who worries more about what people think of him than what he thinks for himself"
I like this, well I assume that's an of himself. I should really use it next time.
But while my tone was uncalled-for, I think my message is still valid: don't cut yourself (or your interests) down. It's a defense mechanism, and I can understand the temptation - my boyfriend pointed out last night that he does exactly the same thing. He's incredibly passionate about music, but whenever he talks about it with people he doesn't know very well, he brushes off his bone-deep loyalty to bands by describing them as "pretentious indie bullshit," because he knows that if he's sincere in his admiration for them, he'll inevitably have to deal with the hurt of someone else calling them pretentious indie bullshit.
So, I do know where you're coming from. But look at it this way: no matter how geeky you think your interests are, no matter how insecure you are about what other people will think of your tastes... there are plenty of other people out there who share them. If you cloak your true feelings about something with self-deprecation, you're ruining any chance you have of finding people who feel the same way. On the other hand, if you lay all your real interests on the table, presenting them with honesty and affection and no shame whatsoever, you're more likely to catch the eye of people who have those things in common with you.
There really are plenty of fish in the sea. Instead of throwing down profile bait designed to be marginally interesting to as many of those fish as possible, take the time to present yourself in a way that targets the fish you actually *want*. Sure, a profile that contains no mention of video games might get more general attention than one that talks about dedication to a TF2 CAL-registered clan, but someone who responds to the first profile would be much less likely to have any sympathy or understanding of gaming at all, resulting in "Why do you spend so much time playing those stupid video games?". But if a girl responds to the second profile with "Hey, what clan are you with? I think we might have played with you guys before, how about a scrim on our private server some night?", well... you might have yourself a winner there.
(Personal anecdote time: as anyone who has read my thesis knows, I met my boyfriend on the H/A forum. And at first, I thought he was kind of a pretentious asshole. I didn't really start getting to know him until we both signed up on Nexus War, a browser-based MMORPG, which I'm pretty sure is the lamest thing by volume that anyone can do ever, with the possible exception of LARPing Ewoks. But realizing that we shared that ridiculously geeky interest eventually led to us realizing that we had a whole lot more in common, which, in turn, led to the best relationship of my life).
But I only thought about it because there's someone I see fairly often there. And really, I might as well just go up and say hi as I'd probably make a better impression that way judging from things people have said. (And, it actually makes a good intro line as well).