PAX 08. My Journey (and the problems)

Mages

Hello everyone. I know I'm new to the forums and all and no one knows me but I really wanted to tell you guys why I'm talking here today. I've been reading Penny Arcade since 5th Grade (that was like 3 years ago, I'm graduating 8th grade next Wedsnday) and I never really payed any attention to PAX until like 5 months ago. I thought it was going to be incredibly fun experience to enjoy, but I could never go seeing as how my parents

A. Would not take me for the reason being that they would do nothing and the trip is across the country (NYC-> Seattle ouchie.)

B. Seattle ,according to my parents, is constantly raining and there is nothing to do there.

C. My mother goes on a trip to the Middle East every 2 years to her homeland and she doesn't want to go anywhere after that.

And since my mother was going to the middle east at the beginning of the summer and she went on a cruise a month ago with my dad, she really doesn't want to spend anymore money especially after last years trip around Europe (and all the previous cruises we took before that). Now my brother and I play WoW (I played WC3 before, he badgered my parents for a month for WoW) and I've been playing WoW since a sandbox on an alpha server (Disclaimer: I am not a pirate, I bought WoW, just wanted to experience it) and hes really addicted, doing raids ect. ect. ect. I really stopped taking it seriously after 70 cause everyone was geared before me cause I had to stop playing for 3 months. So anyway I digress. My brother met this couple through WoW that were moving to Seattle. He was gonna meet them there and check out their house and he practically spent his birthday gift (hes 23, I know what your thinking) from my parents to take a trip to Seattle to see them. He then decides not to go (he never told me the reason why) and I have a sudden realization that I could've gone to PAX and I missed it. My parents then offer my brother a trip to Seattle free, with me. He blatantly refuses. and my parents don't want to go, so I have no way of getting there cause my parents are freaked out of the idea of a 13 year old in Seattle by himself.

I really want to go and I don't know how to now.

(P. S. I know the post is not well constructed. They are usually intelligent, grammatically correct, and I spell Wedsnday right, I'm just really excited/ angry about going/not going to PAX 08, and the whole hormones thing f's up my posts sometimes so I'm really sorry. And I know I wander when I talk.

grungebox

I hate to break it to you, but your parents have every reason to not want you to go on a trip by yourself. You're in 8th grade, and you're 13. It's also their decision to choose vacations, seeing as they're your parents and are paying for the entire thing. Sorry, but that's life. Maybe when you're older; PAX will still be around.

TychoCelchuuu

A) That's their prerogative; you're in 8th grade and they'd be paying to get you all the way across the freaking country.

It is raining all the time. I'm looking outside right now and it is raining. There's plenty to do here, but compared to NYC there's nothing to do anywhere so I can see where they're coming from.

C) And it's her money that's taking her to these places, not yours.

mspencer

As a pre-highschooler, I'd say you're pretty much at your parents' mercy.

I don't know you and don't know your parents, but I know some of the following are sometimes true:

* parents sometimes have a bad gut feeling about something -- it seems like a bad idea to them -- but because they don't know how to put their feeling into words, they give you made-up, hard-to-support reasons against it. This doesn't mean their gut feeling is wrong; maybe they are still trying to figure out where they stand on the issue. I wouldn't confront them about their poor claims (nothing to do in Seattle due to constant rain == LOL) but perhaps help encourage discussion about what really bugs them.

* I'm 31 and flying from Omaha to Seattle by myself scared me too. (One of the reasons I "enlisted" was because flying to PAX seemed less scary once I had earned the friendship of a bunch of awesome volunteers, who could perhaps be called upon to rescue me if I screwed up. Which happened.) The list of scary possibilities isn't restricted to common parent-paranoia things -- super-uncommon but still cause parents to shield their kids out of fear. Checked baggage gets lost sometimes -- this happened to one of the Enforcers I shared a hotel room with. Flight schedules can be confusing and you could miss a connecting flight. You would need somewhere to sleep, and unless you're rich that means sharing a room with three or four other people -- and THAT scares parents as well.

* Parents can have a hard time telling the difference between a child's current "cultural-identity-of-the-week" fad and an actual personality trait that isn't going away no matter what happens. If you're a gamer and you identify strongly with gamers, it may be clear to YOU that PAX would be more fun for you than three days at Disneyworld, but it may not be clear to your parents how much you need to seek your own kind. Nobody's parents just innately understand everything about them -- there must be communication and observation.

* In the final analysis, it's up to your parents to decide if you're mature enough for such a serious, risky, epic journey.

ceres

I don't have kids yet, but my two cents:

-Send the kid off by himself to see a relative? Maybe. I can take him to the airport, make sure he gets past security alright, and know that there will be someone I know and trust to get him and deal with baggage issues on the other end.

-Send the kid off by himself to go to a convention for three days with no one any of us know and no one there to get him from the airport or make sure he's okay in the hotel or take him through a convention full of strangers with seemingly bizarre hobbies? No. It's not even an "I don't think so," it's a "not in a million years." There's the expense (which will be hefty if you are staying on your own), but assuming your parents have the money, that's not even the most important issue. There are more safety issues than I have digits to count them every step of the way for a young minor traveling and attending a convention alone, and I could not in good conscience allow it.

If they were going to pay for your brother.. well.. he's got 10 years on you. If he's decided he doesn't want to go, he shouldn't have to. Would it be awesome if your parents took you? Yeah. But it's still quite an expensive prospect, and they are under no obligation to do so if they don't feel it would be worth the trip for the family.

The only way I WOULD have it under the circumstances you describe is if one of your friends were going with his family and they were willing to have you along. Then I would be willing to let you go and, if I could afford it, pay your share, because I would know that someone (an adult, I probably wouldn't settle for an older sibling) would be with you who could be responsible for you and make sure you're taken care of.

LewieP's Mummy

Mmm, I know its tough, but you're way too young. I know you won't agree, cos you think you're responsible. You're probably right about that, but the safety issue is rarely about your responsibility, its about our fears as parents about the things that could happen to you.

We didn't let our children go on holiday on their own til they were 17, and even then, we had to be a 1 hour drive away from them, so we went on holiday at the same time about 40 miles from them. that wasn't cos we didn't trust them, or think they weren't responsible (we do, and they both are) it was about what we felt safe doing.

Letting go of your kids, letting them take risks is something I've found difficult to do, getting the balance between cotton-wooling them and risking stuff is so hard. I've sometimes got it wrong, and been overprotective (ask Lewie!) but most of the time, I think I've got it right.

Talk to them, calmly, and see if together you can come up with a plan for in a couple of years, maybe involving friends and their parents, since your family don't want to go. Maybe, if you keep talking about your interests (not nagging/whining) over the next few months, consistently talking, not getting cross, they will see its important to you, and when you're a bit older, may well hatch a plot with you to support you getting to PAX. (I'm going to PAX only because of Lewie, it would never have entered my head to go for any other reason, and I know he wouldn't be going without me, simply because of the cost.)