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Girl advice
isaac17
Registered User regular
Registered User regular
Alright, so yesterday (2 days ago, I guess) as I was taking a break from working at the ol' coffee shop, I walked past a tanning salon, inside which were 2 VERY attractive girls, so I winked at one of them and kept walking to the chinese food next door. I heard them laugh really loud, and didn't think much of it, but 3-4 minutes later one came over and asked me for my number, because the girl I had winked at thought I was 'cute'.
We texted (is that even a word?) each other for a good 6 hours, and today we texted for like 5. The whole thing went over great, and I cleverly asked if I could see her on monday, which she said yes to.
However, I've never really had an interest in dating, so this is a new thing for me. I've been on a few dates in my life but none of them were really that memorable. I'm 18, and she's only 16, which is weird, but at the same time I don't want this to end up being anything more than a 2 month fling in the first place, since I'm moving away to go to school in september anyway. The thing that worries me is that she's really attractive, she's been in relationships before, and doesn't like a girl who'd go for someone like me (her favorite band is rascal flats... what the hell kind of band is that?
). She's like a high-school hottie, and I'm a complete musician/artist geek. It's not like I'm unattractive or anything, but I don't really have any muscles or anything...
Anyway, so I'm taking her somewhere on monday, and I'm not really sure how to handle it/where to take her. I guess the best advice I have for myself is to just have fun and see where it goes, but inside I'm freaking out. Any advice?
We texted (is that even a word?) each other for a good 6 hours, and today we texted for like 5. The whole thing went over great, and I cleverly asked if I could see her on monday, which she said yes to.
However, I've never really had an interest in dating, so this is a new thing for me. I've been on a few dates in my life but none of them were really that memorable. I'm 18, and she's only 16, which is weird, but at the same time I don't want this to end up being anything more than a 2 month fling in the first place, since I'm moving away to go to school in september anyway. The thing that worries me is that she's really attractive, she's been in relationships before, and doesn't like a girl who'd go for someone like me (her favorite band is rascal flats... what the hell kind of band is that?
). She's like a high-school hottie, and I'm a complete musician/artist geek. It's not like I'm unattractive or anything, but I don't really have any muscles or anything...Anyway, so I'm taking her somewhere on monday, and I'm not really sure how to handle it/where to take her. I guess the best advice I have for myself is to just have fun and see where it goes, but inside I'm freaking out. Any advice?
isaac17 on
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As for where to take her, umm, probably somewhere open with people around, something fun/light, something with things around so you can easily recover from awkward silences when the conversation dies, something interactive (Arcades, seriously, near one of the most popular beaches in QLD there's a largish arcade and I've been there with girls before and it's tons of fun, there's also a fair few places around it to eat (It's in a populr area), etc), and so on.
Oh, and girls going for geeks/artists/musicians isn't rare and the ones who do tend to be slightly more interesting than the average girl. Also, POIDH. :P
but thought someone should mention that you should be careful since she's underage.
ok maybe maybe not read the wiki
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Statutory_rape
Depends where he lives, in the UK 16 is the age of consent so it's all good and legal.
I just figured if things go well a relationship would = sex no?
anyway I agree with what everyone has said so far just relax and be yourself.
Depends. Some people move slower than others, and that's not really good or bad so much as a neutral preference.
She's already attracted to you. Stop worrying that she won't be attracted to you. Forget the whole idea that just because somebody is physically attractive means that you're not good enough for them or they're on a higher "level" than you.
Pretty does not automatically equal attractive. Don't forget about personality and the millions of other things that go on on the inside.
She's pretty? So what? You're a badass, confident musician.
Quit worrying that you won't be able to make it, because you're already there. There's no more need to impress; the purpose of taking somebody out on a date isn't to convince them to like you, it's to see if you're compatible, so just be yourself and enjoy yourself, and if she enjoys herself too, then awesome, things are going well. Just don't worry about impressing her, because that is not what dating is about.
Yeah, I'm not even interested in sex, just having a hot female friend to hang out with this summer (and possibly make out with :P). As for the night out, I was thinking about getting drinks somewhere and then something else fun (liking the arcade idea
And what ddahcmai said: you're absolutely right. We started talking about serious things like school and stuff, and I said something about high school being so boring and easy (subconsciously talking myself up a little) and she said 'Oh I see' back, but as soon as I brought the conversation back to a fun and flirty level, not talking about myself, she sounded really interested again. So as long as I keep it 'I just want to hang out and have a fun night with you' (ew, not like that), I think I should be fine. Worst case scenario it won't really work out between us, but we had fun. (oh and thanks for the 'badass musician' comment, it's true! 8-) )
Any other advice (especially on what to do that night?)
Thanks again
Maybe doing stuff sitting down would make the height difference less noticeable?
Also, if you don't have her permission you should probably not post pictures of her.
She does look pretty cute too, damn minors!
lol, genius I say! But I don't really want to push the 'I'm an awesome musician' card (yet), I couldn't pull it off without coming off trying to impress her...
That's the thing. Act embarrassed when it comes on, go up, talk to the person at the counter about it, play it down as much as you can. Make her work hard to coax it out of you that the reason you're acting funny is cuz they're playing your song. You should do the opposite of bragging.
So, tonight I texted her something like 'I still get to see you tonight, right?', and an hour later (after receiving no reply) I called her and actually talked to her for the first time. I asked her if I could still see her tonight, and she said 'sure, if you want to'. I was kinda like 'ouch, that's kinda like no, right?' She laughed and said it was kinda like 'come see me if you want', so I told her I'd be over in like a half an hour. (she said she was at work, but off the clock)
Anyway, so I was kinda discouraged a little bit that she just wanted to hang out at her work, but whatever, and off I went. Well, like I said, I've had like NO interest in dating through most of high school, so most of the night was awkward and a bit quiet. I tried to smile and talk to her, but I was too tired to really joke around (and I'm just getting over salmonella from fsking Subway's tomatoes... >_<) or be very much fun. A lot of it was really awkward where I just hung out and listened to her and her friend talking, but she seemed normal. I was just really out of my element at a tanning salon with 2 teenage girls when I don't have great conversation skills with women I don't know (plenty of friends with hot girlfriends that I talk to fine, but the night just felt a little awkward).
Anyway, we ended up out in the parking lot talking about our crappy cars, and the conversation got to her past experience with guys. She's had it pretty rough, and in the blur of the moment, I accidentally took the 'big brother' position. I ended up giving her the best advice I could, I really didn't want her to get hurt again, but as I left there was this HEAVY feeling that I had just moved to sorta 'friend', not dating interest at all. Anyway, I hugged her, and after she said 'geeze you're tall' I made a lame attempt at a joke saying 'older too'.
Anyway, I left and felt like I had royally screwed up, but she texted me a few minutes later and said thanks for coming to see me, I made some actually funny jokes about how her friend had broken their shitty vacuum while I was there, and said I'd hopefully talk to her tomorrow.
ANYWAY, I basically drove away feeling like I had messed things up, but I don't know where I stand now. I really just need to be better at being myself while around her, I reverted to my shy/quiet public self while I was there
I think my best bet is to leave it for a day or two then tell her to come to my work for some free coffee (I always feel confident at my job, not sure why, and I basically sit around at work anyway), and hopefully conversation goes better then...
Any and all advice is appreciated...
As other posters said keep the same air of confidence that was apparent the first time you winked at her. Feeling bad over what you did or did not say isn't helping in that regard and will probably just make you overly paranoid/nervous the next time you/if you meet up. It seems that she digs you and wants to keep talking, so :^: :^:
It's annoying as hell when girls go from being interested to cold like that but you just need to not play on their terms and remember that your time is important, you can't just wait it sitting around hoping.
I don't really have a particular plan if I'm in this situation but just, I don't know, be involved in the conversation but not too much and say little things (Especially jokes) to help the conversation flow along unless of course it's a topic you think you can get in to with them. Also, make sure to never leave their friend out, their friend's judgement is incredibly important to them -- their friend may also be cuter and more interesting.
By the way, there are always exceptions to these things I've said. Once every 4930 years when the planets align you'll meet a girl who you'll have instant rapport with and hanging out often and that is suddenly not a bad idea.. but unfortunately with most girls it's best not to.
I wouldn't say your situation is completely lost but I'd go with no deep conversations, don't be too eager to do things with her, etc -- just the other stuff I mention above. I think getting her to come by your work place could be good but probably not while you're working and depending upon who you work with they may make it suck and quite awkward.. but no matter what you do, have your chin up, don't sulk and have some confidence about you and if it doesn't work out, who cares, just some girl and a 16 year old one at that, you're going to have a million "Oh, she seems interested!" type things were you get their numbers and it just plain doesn't work out.
I hope that helps.. I don't even know if I'm qualified to give advice considering how abysmally bad I've done with girls of late and by late I mean quite some time.
Edit: I just noticed you said anyway like 4 times, hah.
The only way you get stuck as a permanent brother-figure is if you don't act beyond that. If you only offer advice to her, look out for her interests, and never show any signs of dating her or being intimate, well, you get what youo asked for, really.
Wow, I did say anyway a lot...
When I called her she DID say she had replied, so my phone is probably just retarded, but still, looking back I think it would have been a slightly better move to hold off a little longer, but whatever, that already happened.
It's looking like basically walking the line between 'interested', but not seeing her too much, which I can do (I think...)