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Dad threatening Mum with Contempt Of Court. Bleh.
desperaterobots
perth, ausRegistered User regular
perth, ausRegistered User regular
Hello again. You might have seen my previous threads regarding my parents divorce and my dad taking me out of his will. A laugh riot, you'd probably agree!
So the other day my dad wrote to my mum's solicitor saying she was in contempt of court because she hadn't delivered to him everything the court order regarding property as part of their divorce demanded.
The court order included some specific items my dad wanted - office furniture, clothing, tools, etc.
His letter claims she failed to deliver an office lamp, work boots and a drill.
With the work boots and drill, my mum doesn't know where they are. She found the office lamp but it's broken.
He also claims she didn't enter in to the 'spirit' of the arrangement, because she did not give him extra stuff (like dividing surplus bedding or giving him some suitcases). He also claims there are 3 pieces of ornamental crockery from his late mothers estate in my mums possession. He wants this stuff, but it wasn't in the court order. My mum doesn't know where the crockery is.
My dad suggests that because she signed for delivery of boxes from storage, she is therefore in possession of the items he claims are missing. But she signed for delivery of boxes with a very generalised inventory; she was not to know what was or was not inside every box when she signed for the delivery. The inventory for the boxes going IN to storage, signed by my dad, was also totally generalised. There's no record of any of these specific items even existing.
So the question is -- is it reasonable for my mum to offer replacement costs for items in the court order she can't locate (ie work boots, the drill, lamp etc), and to say 'tough shit' about stuff not in the court order?
My dad is threatening legal action over this stuff, and my mum is clueless and broke...
Any AU-relevant marriage law advice on offer?
So the other day my dad wrote to my mum's solicitor saying she was in contempt of court because she hadn't delivered to him everything the court order regarding property as part of their divorce demanded.
The court order included some specific items my dad wanted - office furniture, clothing, tools, etc.
His letter claims she failed to deliver an office lamp, work boots and a drill.
With the work boots and drill, my mum doesn't know where they are. She found the office lamp but it's broken.
He also claims she didn't enter in to the 'spirit' of the arrangement, because she did not give him extra stuff (like dividing surplus bedding or giving him some suitcases). He also claims there are 3 pieces of ornamental crockery from his late mothers estate in my mums possession. He wants this stuff, but it wasn't in the court order. My mum doesn't know where the crockery is.
My dad suggests that because she signed for delivery of boxes from storage, she is therefore in possession of the items he claims are missing. But she signed for delivery of boxes with a very generalised inventory; she was not to know what was or was not inside every box when she signed for the delivery. The inventory for the boxes going IN to storage, signed by my dad, was also totally generalised. There's no record of any of these specific items even existing.
So the question is -- is it reasonable for my mum to offer replacement costs for items in the court order she can't locate (ie work boots, the drill, lamp etc), and to say 'tough shit' about stuff not in the court order?
My dad is threatening legal action over this stuff, and my mum is clueless and broke...
Any AU-relevant marriage law advice on offer?
desperaterobots on
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There are also free legal aid groups she can go to for this kind of thing, have a google around services for your area.
Is it pragmatic to say "Just take an extra $500 from the sale of the house because I don't know where your shit is and I don't want to deal with you"?
Having said that, a victory in the courts where he's forced to pay expenses would totally rock my mums world. Hah.
He's probably not going to take you to court over a pot, a pair of boots, a drill, and a lamp. Hell, just give him the office lamp; it being broken isn't your problem.
Under British Common Law you really can't get ahead by litigating unnecessarily. There's juris prudence indicating that the judge should rule against any unnecessary court action, and choosing court over mediation is definitely unnecessary. I'm not a lawyer, but I passed my third year law class and in Canada our legal system not only follows the British Common Law system, but also adopts its juris prudence. As would Australia's, I strongly suspect.
Hell even in America a good lawyer should be able to convince a judge to rule in favor of mediation rather than wasting any more of the court's time. Counter-suit for court costs is also a no-brainer and definitely should be pursued.
Don't let him use the courts to abuse your mother. That's not what they're there for.
CUZ THERE'S SOMETHING IN THE MIDDLE AND IT'S GIVING ME A RASH
Okay jesus fucking christ. Quick run down; parents divorced, dad threatening legal action against mum for not delivery all his stuff to him. Mum doesn't have stuff.
So he asked for boots, a lamp and a drill, covered by the court order of the divorce. My mum offered $$$ compensation because she can't fathom things into existence that she doesn't own and she just wants him to go away. He also asks for other items that she doesn't have, and she says she won't compensate for these items as she doesn't know anything about them.
So he's responded today. Peppered with insults directed at me too! Woo!
So basically he spends most of the letter trying to poke holes in the logic of offering compensation for items she doesn't own ("Why would anyone do that?!"). The implication being that she DOES have them, and just doesn't want to return them to him. He goes on to ask for even MORE stuff that she doesn't have in her possession, like slippers and little korean figurines. Basically, more stuff that he didn't specifically ask for in the court orders, but he says is in my mums possession.
So now he's writes that he's willing to swear in an affadavit that he packed the items that were eventually delivered to my mum (albeit about 2 years prior to this issue) so he knows therefore that the items he's asking for are in my mums possession.
He suggests that since my mum signed for the delivery of the boxes, she is responsible for all the missing possessions.
So, what the fuck? I mean, really. He's ignored her first offer to compensate him for court ordered items and he's just come back and essentially told her that she does know about these things and now he wants more. He's treating her offer to compensate as an admission that she's done something wrong, when it was just an attempt to put a stop to the bullshit.
What can she do?
You definitely need some sort of mediator. And, also, if he didn't specify the shit the first time through, he's fucked.
I think Cat and Pheezer have good advice. I know it's hard, and he's intimidating, but try not to let his threats get to you. He's abusive and that often makes his victims (i.e. you) take his bullshit more seriously than you should. I had a similar experience with my parents.
Basically, just because he decides some intimidating-sounding bullshit doesn't mean that's the law. He doesn't get to decide how the world works, and saying 'I've decided she's responsible for all the missing items' doesn't mean a court would care.
She's trying to meet the court's demands. Not his. He doesn't get to decide how those demands should be interpreted. The court does. And courts (especially in divorce settlements, which are of course fraught with bullshit) are usually very reasonable, calm, and logical.
I think with people like your father (and mine), you get so used to caving to their worldview (because they give you shit if you don't) that you start to believe they're usually right. When actually they're usually wrong, because the world of courts and lawyers don't care how loud you shout and how much of a cock you are.
Read Cat's advice again and follow it.
Dad demands the following returned:
1. Work clothing
2. Home office equipment and furniture
3. Tools from garage
And: all the "stuff" in mum's possession to be forwarded to his him.
Same for my mum; she asked for a few specific items, and the rest of her stuff he had, he was to forward to her.
So, he argues that the part of the court order that says 'all the stuff in her possession' allows for all this random crap he's asking for (slippers and junk). She's saying she doesn't have it or even know if it was even delivered to her in the first place. So he's saying 'I'll swear an oath that I packed it, so therefore you must have it!'
So, what, should she just make up a whole bunch of shit and swear on affadavit that he's in possession of it, or else? I mean, she's 56 years old and broke and he's threatening to take her to court over fucking slippers?
Oh, he also suggested that he receive compensation from me, because I'm living with her in their home (which is on the market to be sold as per the divorce settlement).
Anyway, she's going to contact her lawyer tomorrow, but she's something of a wreck at the moment and I'd like to give her a glimmer of hope that this isn't going to continue escalating and cost her stupid money.
You did, and you were right! But hey, I passed that advice on to my mum, and she wanted to offer money because she thought it would get him off her back. Yeah; I know, I know. :P Oh, also, the first thing I said when I read this new novella of a letter he sent was "you have to go to mediation over this".
She contacted her lawyer after posting the letter and she laughed and said "You shouldn't have offered anything, he deserves nothing." And you know, this guy is such a cunt, either way he would have wound up sending another kerr-aaaazy letter, so I suppose this shouldn't come as any kind of surprise.
I just really want her house to sell so she can completely part ways. (This is the same guy who took me out of his will, if you remember that H/A thread, so I'm already out of the picture for the most part?)