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Don't you guys like [Girl] threads?
Captain Vash
Registered User regular
Registered User regular
I'm not huge on making these threads so I'll try and keep it brief.
So there's this girl.
First we texted a lot. like 24/7,
Then we started going out to eat alone together,
Obviously we enjoyed each others company,
Then we went to this party together and I got way too drunk, was acting way too needy and awkward and things kind of fell apart.
Anyways flash forward two months.
We're still friends, and she went through a period of liking some other guy that didn't work out either, and now we see each other around a lot because she's really good friends with one of my room mates and he invites her over every time there's a party or anything.
pretty much every weekend.
So, when the parties wind down this girl always winds up in my bed.
She's got her back to me, but she is in my bed, and we do have a perfectly good couch she could sleep on.
So, H/A, my question is this:
I really like this girl, where do I go from here?
So there's this girl.
First we texted a lot. like 24/7,
Then we started going out to eat alone together,
Obviously we enjoyed each others company,
Then we went to this party together and I got way too drunk, was acting way too needy and awkward and things kind of fell apart.
Anyways flash forward two months.
We're still friends, and she went through a period of liking some other guy that didn't work out either, and now we see each other around a lot because she's really good friends with one of my room mates and he invites her over every time there's a party or anything.
pretty much every weekend.
So, when the parties wind down this girl always winds up in my bed.
She's got her back to me, but she is in my bed, and we do have a perfectly good couch she could sleep on.
So, H/A, my question is this:
I really like this girl, where do I go from here?
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for the love of god please just listen to this man jesus leper christ on a crutch ASK HER OUT
Edit: Just call her on any given day between the hours of noon and 10 pm and say within five minutes of conversation, "I'd like to go out with you. Would you like to do lunch on Saturday?"
Substitute whatever day you're free for 'Saturday.'
If she's busy on Saturday, say "Okay, how about Sunday?"
If she's busy two days in a row, say "What day are you free?"
If she can't suggest a day she's free, that means she's not interested.
IT'S THAT SIMPLE
the "no true scotch man" fallacy.
That doesn't mean you should expect a home run: I know plenty of girls (guys too) who like to cuddle, especially when drunk or after parties, and they're not discriminating in who they choose to cuddle with. All this tells you for certain is that she's comfortable around you, which is a good thing, and certainly a good enough thing to premise a date on.
So yeah, ask her to coffee or dinner or whatever. Worst case scenario: she rejects you but is flattered and you still have a friend and cuddle-buddy. Best case scenario: yay girlfriend!
No, this guy is not Penguin, his situation is a little different.
Next weekend you find her semi-passed-out in your bed after partying.
You: "Hey, sweetheart? Hi. Yes, wake up. Yes, wakey wakey, eggs and bakey! Hey, hi! I was just wondering something. Are you sleeping in my bed because you're into me or for some other reason? Because I'm sorta into you and so I'm just wondering."
She will have one of two responses:
Response 1: "I thought you'd never ask! Yes, in fact, I am into you! Climb on in, big boy!"
Response 2: "Err, no, sorry, I thought this was my house. Guess I shouldn't have had that eighth cosmo, huh?"
If it's response 1, climb on in.
If it's response 2:
"Well I'm tired. Would you mind going out and sleeping on the couch? Or the floor. Or the lawn. Or wherever, really, because I need some sleep."
ITT: FryLock reveals his inner pimp.
the "no true scotch man" fallacy.
... is probably the worst time to talk about relationships.
Just ask her out.
If she says no, evaluate whether you want to continue letting her sleep in your bed after parties, because you might want to have someone else in there at some point.
I am confused as to why those above me think this is a bad idea. Because this is what you should do. Maybe not in those exact words (and by maybe I mean definitely.) But seriously, either she's your friend, or she wants to get with you. So just go for it and find out. You don't "ask out" somebody who you already hang out with/go to dinner alone with/sleep in the same bed with.
Well done. Well done indeed.
*golf clap*
Just because she has her back to you, doesn't mean she's not interested. Usually it means she wants you to hold her.
Just start tickling her... nibblin on her neck... move from there.
Option A: She responds well, yay
Option B: A little awkward, you probobly stay good friends
Option C: You Penguin out and things get weird
And you don't want to be a penguin, do you?
And it starts!
But Cliff does have a good, straight forward option. The trick is not to come out grabby right from the start, which depending how good/experienced you are, could be tough.
Usually I would agree with you, but at this point words seem kinda lame. I mean once the bed has been broached, things tend to be either one of the extremes-either she wants him, or she will never want him ever. And I think that is an important point. OP, do not build this up, think of it as win win. Either you have a partner, or you get closure and can pursue someone else.
If she isn't game, that's when you use your words. Let her know you got your signals crossed, but you *do* like her - suggest a date maybe. Worst case scenario is that she doesn't return the favor and sleeps on the couch from now on instead of hogging half the bed.
There are ways to use your words and then get physical that can avoid and creepyness. Before the next time you find your self in the bed situation, start getting really flirty, Smile at her alittle more, tease her. Probably about how she's so obviously lusting after you since she's been sleeping in your bed this entire time. Make it alittle less... surprising then : "'Spoon' a little, kiss her neck - work your way to the lips."
Now if she has any interest at all, she'll respond in kind. If she doesn't she'll tell you to probably back off. It's actually pretty easy to not have to resort to sexual harrasment.
Interesting logic, by that logic she has already sexually harrassed him by nestling in his bed. No one is suggesting he whip his cock out, in fact most have been suggesting to let her decide if she wants to go further.
Uhhh... layng there with your back to someone, sleeping or trying to fall asleep isn't invading their personal space without asking. Unless the OP feels different...
This seems somewhat unlikely. Not even "not whipping his cock out' is really acceptable here. I'm all for the non verbal communication and asking out here, but this is a two way street here. She has to understand your intensions. Sticking your tongue in her ear isn;t that way to get things going.
No offense, but I hate that type of advice. Because you're basically beating around the bush instead of just being forward(either by making a move or just talking to her)
And one could possibly make the case that she continously going to his bed is giving a prior assent. I mean, not for him to get on top of her or anything, but at least reasonable grounds to wonder what she feels for him.
While I defend that my advice is not as creepy as it sounds, it really should be used in conjunction with some sort of flirting. I didn't mean to advocate ignoring all night and then just 'going for it', but at some point in the night you are going to need to initiate some physical contact. If you can set the tone and work up some sexual tension between the two of you, all the better. Hell, I don't know how big the place is you're partying at or how your alcohol consumption habits are but it shouldn't be that hard to make a small move outside of the bedroom, which then green-lights you to try things later.
In short: Go for it - how you go for it is based a lot on how the two of you interact (is there already sexual tension? can you get some going?) already and who you are as a person.
The one thing I'd avoid; serious talks. Make your feelings known through actions (doesn't have to be contact, but flirtacious conduct) and try to read how she reacts.
You guys can possibly expect a [Girl] thread from me soon. Maybe we should just make the [Girl] thread kind of like how there is a Fitness thread, single threads for games, etc? 'Cause I don't really want to make a whole new topic nor do I want to hijack someone else's thread but I'd like to get some things off my chest -- like the 'Was that a date?' moment I had on Wed with a girl who is incredibly, smart and interesting.. and her friend too.
99% of the damn time, the OP should just open his/her mouth and speak. Like you said - just do it. This isn't 5th grade. It's not going to kill them to talk about their wants/needs honestly and openly to the other person. They're just people.
Like that what you said there. Who else on earth but the girl you were with actually knows the answer to that? Might as well just shake a magic 8-ball as have some internet strangers guess based on your own interpretation of events. call the girl, tell her you had a great time, you want to hang out again just the two of you, and invite her to place/event.
Alternatively, if you're a big sissy, you could just get into bed first. The party is winding down and this is about the time she drops into your bed? Get up a few minutes prior, do your goodnights and go to sleep.
If she into you she may wake you up and see if she can share the bed with you. Or she'll find another place to sleep. None of this is definitive though, so save yourself some trouble and just ask her out.
If your last paragraph is referring to my 'Was that a date' thing in my comment, it doesn't really make sense without me telling the story and it was kind of rhetorical.
/begin story
Basically, I had 2 futsal (Like indoor soccer) matches on the north side of the city, so just over an hour away, and I have some friends up there so I decided to do something with them before my matches -- so, I had organised with 1 of the girls we'd meet at hers, get some ice-cream and than maybe watch this Japanese movie she had.
But the majority of the people I asked weren't available (I forgot to message them till that day :x) so it ended up just being me + my friend with that girl + her friend. We were late, so were they, so we met at her house (It's like a mansion o_0) and than decided to just go get ice cream 'cause that's all we had time for so we hop in our respective cars and start driving than calls me and says she wants to go to 'Lone Star' (An Aussie restaurant) so we concede and go there..
Anyway, to not bother with other small details, it ended just like a 'double date' and my friend and I just found it amusing. I have no idea if they purposely had that in mind or it's just me being optimistic 'cause I really like one of the girls and the other one isn't half bad either -- they're both incredibly cute too. Of course, I really am not taking it that seriously just at the time and how it all worked out, it was kind of funny.
/end story
I'm going to call the girl who I spoke to to organise it (Not the one I really like) today after I finish record shopping (With another cute girl I might add, and on Tues night I had a cute girl over and we had a small dinner and than played Gears of War for 2 hours) and suggest that since most of us are on 'holidays' at the moment we should try again to watch that movie but we'll just have us 4 again -- and I had an idea of us making our own pizzas.
Like, I'll buy 2 bases and whatever essential sauces you need to put on the base and than I'd bring some common toppings you'd find.. and than some crazy ones.
I won't be treating this as date either, just 4 friends hanging out watch some asian movie.
Spoken like a true virgin. Bravo, good sir, you just won the entirety of the penny-arcade.com domain. For your next trick, maybe you'll white knight your way through the 4chan forums too!
Dude.... She's already in your bed, so she expects some physical contact. I'm not saying put it in her butt while she sneezes...just hold her. Make her feel comfortable.... shouldn't be too hard. She's already
But don't just think to yourself because she let you hold she wants to jump your bones. Kiss her a little bit first... gently. Very gently. Then start to talk at her softly. How she smells good... always looks good... feels good. See how she responds to that. Chances are... she won't be doing it verbally! :winky:
This idea still isn't obviously terrible? You don't any fucking clue what the girl expects. I think it's waaaaaaaaay more likely that the OP's friend trust him not try any of that shit when she goes to sleep in his bed.
In all honesty, if she wanted anything beyond the other half of his bed from him, he would know it.
Fuck, this thread was over with the first reply.
Stop letting her sleep in your bed with you until this is sorted out. Dont ask her while she's drunk. Thats it.
That ices it... you ARE still virgin... and a chick. One that was raised by strict christian parents, and decided on her 14th birthday she'd sleep in the same bed as a guy she kinda liked. Said guy was a pompus, arrogant ass that tried to get close and hold you... maybe even kiss you a little... and you hated it due to your religious upbringings.... you thought it felt like staples going through your neck, and you no longer liked this boy, but seen him as Lucifer incarnate! It was probably not until the next morning after you took a shower and ate your raisin bran that you decided you were a lesbian. And you've been living with that for.... 7 years?
Either that, or you're just another fuckin Gimmick trying to cockblock our good man here.
Cryogen's right though... this thread is over... have we even heard from the OP on what he thinks? Come on man... give us an update!
However, it may be a non-issue.
From what I've been hearing apparently she's just starting talking to an old flame again and now she's ignoring my room mate who was bringing her over for parties anyways...
Now or never my friend. Don't wait and ask her late.
I asked her if she would go out with me again sometime,
Her response was "umm thats random, maybe"
I would have set a firm date but I'm very broke at the moment and we both have plans for the next two weekends in a row.
What do I do HA!? I need more advice!
haha.
Take her out on a weeknight, go for coffee or something. But if she doesn't show the same feelings back - I would just move on. I know it sucks, but if you dont - she'll just keep ending up coming back to you for that feeling while not wanting it to go anywhere. You dont want to be that guy. It hurts being that guy.