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The crows....must die....

Sgt EversmanSgt Eversman Registered User regular
edited June 2008 in Social Entropy++
So there is a whole murder of crows living in the woods behind my house. They are loud and annoying and they stole food from my barbecue. That last one was my breaking point.

The crows must die.

Now, I have several handguns, and I would shoot them outright if only it wasn't completely illegal for me to discharge a firearm in a neighborhood with children. A bit of a conundrum. I still had the possibility of using a CO2 / Air Rifle, but god knows if a pellet would be accurate enough or travel fast enough to tag them if they start flying off when I come outside.

What to do?

I found my solution today at Wal-Mart for under $100.

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A .22 break-barrel air rifle....and shotgun.

Yes, that's right. An air shotgun. It comes with a 25-pack of these

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which should be perfect for decimating the population this weekend without any LEO interference. I've fired off a few rounds for testing (pellet and shotgun) and I'm pretty damn impressed so far.

FOCUS: What animals / bugs/ [strike]people[/strike] annoy the hell out of you?

Democracy is two wolves and a lamb voting on what to have for dinner.

Liberty is a well-armed lamb contesting the outcome.
Sgt Eversman on
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Posts

  • Dex DynamoDex Dynamo Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    Dex Dynamo on
  • ChicoBlueChicoBlue Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
  • Peter EbelPeter Ebel CopenhagenRegistered User regular
    edited June 2008
    Children

    Peter Ebel on
    Fuck off and die.
  • BelruelBelruel NARUTO FUCKS Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    my dad kills them with air rifles, they had attacked our cat and were killing the song birds that lived in our tree

    Belruel on
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  • BibbleBibble __BANNED USERS regular
    edited June 2008
    i shoot monkeys

    Bibble on
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  • UnbreakableVowUnbreakableVow Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    Dogs.

    UnbreakableVow on
  • laughingfuzzballlaughingfuzzball Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    My stepdad once shot my dog with an air-rifle when she was being retarded.

    It was an old kid's Daisy under less than half pressure, so it didn't hurt much, but she was so confused.

    laughingfuzzball on
  • Dex DynamoDex Dynamo Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    I kill Mothers of lovable cartoon characters.

    Dex Dynamo on
  • redfenixredfenix Aka'd as rfix Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    that was a cool crow video

    redfenix on
  • Something WittySomething Witty Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    Belruel wrote: »
    my dad kills them with air rifles, they had attacked our cat and were killing the song birds that lived in our tree

    I know children can be pretty shitty but dont you think your dad took it a bit far by killing them?

    Something Witty on
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  • SilvoculousSilvoculous Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    I used to shoot sparrows in my backyard with an air rifle

    Just kinda for the hell of it

    Or maybe to vent my frustration at not being able to walk around the neighborhood shooting everyone's dogs

    Silvoculous on
  • RotamRotam Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    I ran over one once. It was pretty horrifying until I looked in the rear view mirror. The feathers all flew up into the air. I laughed really hard but immediately felt pretty bad afterwards.

    On the way home, its body was still there, in the middle of the road. I thought I should probably scoop it up and put it in bin or something but it was all kinda mushy.

    Rotam on
  • Burden of ProofBurden of Proof You three boys picked a beautiful hill to die on. Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    this calls for a different type of hero

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    Burden of Proof on
  • Something WittySomething Witty Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    You shouldnt mess with an animal like the crow. I mean when these things hang out in groups we call those groups murders, what does that tell you?

    Something Witty on
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  • RotamRotam Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    You shouldnt mess with an animal like the crow. I mean when these things hang out in groups we call those groups murders, what does that tell you?

    That they are probably shitting on my car right now.

    Rotam on
  • Agent VesagoAgent Vesago Half Iago. Half Fu Manchu. All Bastard. Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    Dex Dynamo wrote: »
    I kill Mothers of lovable cartoon characters.

    Run Bambi, Dex is in the forest.

    Agent Vesago on
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  • msuitepyonmsuitepyon Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    Now, I have several handguns, and I would shoot them outright if only it wasn't completely illegal for me to discharge a firearm in a neighborhood with children.

    Supressor. Then no one will know, including the police.

    msuitepyon on
  • ShortyShorty touching the meat Intergalactic Cool CourtRegistered User regular
    edited June 2008
    You shouldnt mess with an animal like the crow. I mean when these things hang out in groups we call those groups murders, what does that tell you?

    because they have a tendency to kill members of the murder who aren't pulling their weight

    Shorty on
  • NadsNads Bob Ducca Asleep in a cul-de-sac.Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited June 2008
    A couple crows attacked me in the park one day. Man, that blew.

    Nads on
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  • bsjezzbsjezz Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    this is a terrible thread and you should feel genuinely bad

    bsjezz on
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  • bsjezzbsjezz Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    shoot a fucking tin can jesus

    bsjezz on
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  • Kuribo's ShoeKuribo's Shoe Kuribo's Stocking North PoleRegistered User regular
    edited June 2008
    I'm with you, bsguy

    Kuribo's Shoe on
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  • msuitepyonmsuitepyon Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    The bastards stole his meat. STOLE HIS MEAT. That shit is inexcusable.

    msuitepyon on
  • Kuribo's ShoeKuribo's Shoe Kuribo's Stocking North PoleRegistered User regular
    edited June 2008
    he should get a scarecrow

    Kuribo's Shoe on
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  • NadsNads Bob Ducca Asleep in a cul-de-sac.Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited June 2008
    One of the crows called me the n-word too.

    Nads on
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  • BYToadyBYToady Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    I'd kill a man for stealing meat from my barbecue. I'd decimate a population of crows for that sort of thing.

    BYToady on
    Battletag BYToady#1454
  • BYToadyBYToady Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    Besides, it sounds like those crows need to have the fear of man put back in them.

    If the animals lose that, they'll kill us all.

    BYToady on
    Battletag BYToady#1454
  • BigDesBigDes Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    I like to hunt Belgian kickboxers through the streets of New Orleans.

    BigDes on
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  • bsjezzbsjezz Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    BYToady wrote: »
    Besides, it sounds like those crows need to have the fear of man put back in them.

    If the animals lose that, they'll kill us all.

    not really. they'll just eat nuts.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BGPGknpq3e0

    edit: stupid youtube

    bsjezz on
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  • BYToadyBYToady Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    They're just practicing for when they perfect caltrop technology. Caltrops they'll use to cause untold mayhem via auto accidents.

    BYToady on
    Battletag BYToady#1454
  • HunterHunter Chemist with a heart of Au Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    BigDes wrote: »
    I like to hunt Belgian kickboxers through the streets of New Orleans.

    Watch out for the cajun dude with the diabeetus.

    Hunter on
  • BibbleBibble __BANNED USERS regular
    edited June 2008
    guys i shoot monkeys

    Bibble on
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  • BahamutZEROBahamutZERO Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    BahamutZERO on
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  • StationaryStationary Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    he should get a scarecrow
    scarecrow.jpg

    Im not sure a scarecrow would really work. Obviously brutal violance is the only way to get rid of them.

    Stationary on
  • Auntie ShibbyAuntie Shibby Horrible Visalia, CARegistered User, ClubPA regular
    edited June 2008
    There was a kid in my middle school that had a pet Raven. Or maybe it wasn't his pet and just followed him around school all day.

    That shit stopped when the Raven started attacking kids that got too close to the guy, Janitor came out with a BB gun and blasted the fucker one day.

    Auntie Shibby on
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  • RankenphileRankenphile Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood.Registered User, Moderator mod
    edited June 2008
    you know, I was gunna be all "dude, you're killing these animals for being annoying?"

    but

    they stole your fucking meat

    burn their children alive before them and paint your body with their ash

    Rankenphile on
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  • BibbleBibble __BANNED USERS regular
    edited June 2008
    Bibble wrote: »
    guys i shoot monkeys

    man that is sweet but i kill monkeys with my bare hands

    Bibble on
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  • BigDesBigDes Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    There was a kid in my middle school that had a pet Raven. Or maybe it wasn't his pet and just followed him around school all day.

    That shit stopped when the Raven started attacking kids that got too close to the guy, Janitor came out with a BB gun and blasted the fucker one day.

    And then the raven was nevermore.

    Sorry.

    BigDes on
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  • Something WittySomething Witty Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    you know, I was gunna be all "dude, you're killing these animals for being annoying?"

    but

    they stole your fucking meat

    burn their children alive before them and paint your body with their ash

    Nah like rip off their heads and paint youself in the blood that comes pumping from their neck stump, then burn the bodies and add the ashes here and there for effect.


    That'll teach them not to steal a man's meat.

    Something Witty on
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  • Auntie ShibbyAuntie Shibby Horrible Visalia, CARegistered User, ClubPA regular
    edited June 2008
    BigDes wrote: »
    There was a kid in my middle school that had a pet Raven. Or maybe it wasn't his pet and just followed him around school all day.

    That shit stopped when the Raven started attacking kids that got too close to the guy, Janitor came out with a BB gun and blasted the fucker one day.

    And then the raven was nevermore.

    Sorry.
    Dude just came out of nowhere between classes. He then sulk back into his office. Some kids asked him about it and he denied everything, he was a fucking Hitman.

    Auntie Shibby on
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