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Weird Questions you have been asked
MAD!
Registered User regular
Registered User regular
This seems like the best forum for this thread so here goes:
I have a comic shop in Bermuda and as the many tourists pass by my door they often poke their head in and ask me questions, usually its directions to the bus terminal or is there a bathroom close by and so forth. But every once and awhile I will get the oddest inquiries.
This morning I had a fellow walk in and ask:
"So where around here can I buy a barometer? An inexpensive one?"
Shortly afterwards I had a guy come in and say "Where can I buy a napkin for my head because, sweat"
And yes that is exactly how I was asked.
So what are some of the downright strange questions you have been asked?
I have a comic shop in Bermuda and as the many tourists pass by my door they often poke their head in and ask me questions, usually its directions to the bus terminal or is there a bathroom close by and so forth. But every once and awhile I will get the oddest inquiries.
This morning I had a fellow walk in and ask:
"So where around here can I buy a barometer? An inexpensive one?"
Shortly afterwards I had a guy come in and say "Where can I buy a napkin for my head because, sweat"
And yes that is exactly how I was asked.
So what are some of the downright strange questions you have been asked?
MAD! on
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*pick up*
"Yeah?"
"uh ... uh ... hello?"
"Who is this? What do you want?"
"Do uh ... do you sell drugs?"
"What? No."
*click*
I wish I was joking.
One woman gets out (She's like 20), and asks me "Do you know where the hookers are?"
I stumble....say "excuse me"
She repeats "Do you know how to drive to where the hookers are?"
I say "Sorry no, somewhere in the south of the city but I don't know where."
She gets back into the car, talks to guy, and they drive off.
The next 20 minutes would be a conversation that makes me wish I could take my brain out of my head and rock it with a Brillo pad until I forgot everything that happened there.
Was he offering you a job biting the heads off chickens?
them: "hey... do you have anything right now?"
me: "uh.. what?"
Them: "How much for an 8-ball?"
me: "uhhh yeah... I dont sell cocaine..."
Reminds me of a time when I was ~16 and some guy came up to me in a shopping mall asking me if I had any acid. What the fuck? He was probably mid 20's, incredibly weird.
Now, it is important here to note that I dress in a certain way. I pretty much always have on sweatpants, a black t-shirt, and a hawaiian over shirt. I couldn't look less like a respectable salesman if I tried.
Regardless, this lady proceeds to stop me, and asked me if I worked there. I kind of just stared at her for a second. I then told her no, I wasn't an employee. She nodded in understanding, and then continued on, asking me which envelopes she needed for her printer. I politely told her that I had no idea. She shrugged a little bit, and then I took that as my cue to escape.
I don't know if you've ever been to a Staples, but all of the employees wear slacks and Staples-branded color coordinated shirts. It still confuses me a little bit how she could have entertained the slightest thought that I worked for Staples.
Me - No, not today....
Crazy Guy - Beer?
Me - No...
This was before 9 am, at a bus transit center, and this was a long discussion with him, but that was the question that really caught me off guard.
This happens to me frequently. Certain people put off a certain aura of understanding or knowing, at least that is my bullshit explanation. I often get the "Do you know how to work this? Where is the pet food? " and so on. Maybe it's because I've worked in department stores, I don't know.
Old people kept coming up to me and asking me where things were.
Nam (48-yr-old Vietnamese immigrant who speaks in broken English)
Me (Chris)
Nam: Hey Kwis, you married?
Chris: No, Im only 21.
Nam: I know perfect girl for you! My brother's daughter also just turn 21 and she want life in America! She need man and you need girl.
Chris: I can't just marry someone I haven't met.
Nam: She very pretty! You get boom boom every night! *Nam makes hand gesture of his finger going in and out of his other hand forming a circle*
Chris:
Nam: I even pay you! I bring her here and you marry her. You get good Vietnamese girl.
Chris: I'm sure you niece is very pretty, but I cannot marry her.
Nam: What wrong wit you!? I bring picture of her tomorrow. You change mind.
He forgot the picture, but then asked if I wanted to come drink at his house with him.
I tried to decline him as nicely as possible, but fuck I'm just not into the whole arranged marriage thing. He has also explained to me how to get a good Vietnamese hooker from hotels in Vietnam.
He was intending to get you wasted enough to go elope with his niece before you recovered your sobriety.
Apparently it's also a euphemism for doing speed. He followed me around trying to sell me drugs for twenty straight minutes. He was pretty fucked up himself, and it finally ended when he turned around for a moment and I just took off. I was 15 at the time, and didn't really know how to handle the situation. The guy was at least 25 years old, so it was a bit threatening for me.
This Nam fella seems like a good guy.
Me: *blah blah blah* Yes sir!
Him: You don't have to call me sir, we're peers here.
Me: Sorry, it's just a habit from being in the South for so long.
Him: You don't sound Southern. Are your parents Yankees?
Another guy also asked me what my parents did for a living before he would give me a key card. At least I haven't been called a Yankee yet.
XBL : lJesse Custerl | MWO: Jesse Custer | Best vid ever. | 2nd best vid ever.
That is awesome. Reminds me of this Senegalese guy Mohammed that I used to work with.
"Hey (Hurt and Burn), I called you yesterday"
Yeah, I must have been asleep.
"Yeah, right. Too busy smoking that good sheet and getting ju' dick sucked.
Or when he'd talk about how lazy white people are. Which I totally agreed with him on, since he was a refugee and never bitched about anything.
"These motha fuckas, never want to work. Jeff, you are not going to die today. Some people can not work. Some people? Must sell crack to live. You are not going to die today."
Me: About X ounces
SCG: No no I mean gold, how much weight of gold?
Me: Yeahhh it's about X ounces, ounces are what we use as a measurement of weight with gold
SCG: No it isn't, kilograms is a weight
Me:
I think some people are just naturally approachable. I try my hardest to look angry in public because I get stopped at a frequency that is pretty abnormal. I'll watch people walk by others to ask me directions or for help in stores. I've never worked in retail and I don't really dress in retail uniform-esque clothes, but I get all the questions anyway.
As for weirdest questions, this wasn't a question directed at me but it was about me. I was in an elevator when I was 12 or so and a guy probably in his 30s was there as well. A second guy came into the elevator and asked the other guy if I was his wife. I don't think I've ever really looked older than my age so it was pretty weird.
Random Guy: Do you pick your nose?
Me: uh, no?
Random Guy: Do you cheat on tests?
Me: ...no...
Random Guy: Do you believe in Jesus?
Me: Uh, I've got to go... I'm late for a meeting (I really was, he caught me just as I was about to get up)
Random Guy: Oh, I see, you can talk about all those other things, but when God comes up, you get uncomfortable.
Turns out he was from some campus mission group, trying to start dialogs about Christ, for I have absolutely no idea what reason. It's not like he was going to run into anyone who hadn't heard of Jesus. I wound up 5 minutes late for the meeting because I went off on him about having already decided my faith - or lack there of - and was fully informed when I made the decision.
People used to ask me for drugs on campus all the time as well. Not just students either. I was walking across the parking lot to my dorm once and a guy in his mid thirties asked if I knew where to buy weed. Another time it was a couple in their late twenties, pulled up to me in a car looking for acid. I guess that's what I get for looking like Shaggy from Scooby Do.
When I responded girls, she started making out with me.
Son of a...
So that's what I've been doing wrong.
Me: "Do you see me carrying anything?"
the "no true scotch man" fallacy.
"Did you gut this game?"
"No, we don't gut preorders."
"Do you want the strategy gu-"
"No, that will be all."
I kind of felt bad for shooting the guy down, but I really didn't feel like dealing with that today.
Women. Check. Liquor. Check. Nam's cool.
― Marcus Aurelius
Path of Exile: themightypuck
Also at the Central Lecture Block at uni there's a foyer with a receptionist-like desk in the middle that no one uses. So I dragged a couch over there because other than immediately before and after every lecture its pretty quiet and I can study. Nonetheless everyone thinks I work there. What they think I do, I don't know. But anyway the lecture rooms are indicated by giant numbers the size of a person (say, Lecture Theatre 3 is indicated by a man-sized "3")
But that doesn't stop people from asking where the bloody thing is.
Her: Why is your ass so big?
Me: Why're you staring at my ass?
Her: Cause it's bigger than mine!
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Me on Twitch!
How was the sex?
New Coworker finding out that I'm a twin:
"So how do you and your brother tell each other apart?"
I was a senior and she was a freshman, so didn't have any, rather not nail 14 year olds.
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That's not a reason!
Eh I could say her ass wasn't big enough then?
Handmade Jewelry by me on EtsyGames for sale
Me on Twitch!
i would have been all over that