As was foretold, we've added advertisements to the forums! If you have questions, or if you encounter any bugs, please visit this thread: https://forums.penny-arcade.com/discussion/240191/forum-advertisement-faq-and-reports-thread/

Weird Questions you have been asked

MAD!MAD! Registered User regular
edited July 2008 in Debate and/or Discourse
This seems like the best forum for this thread so here goes:

I have a comic shop in Bermuda and as the many tourists pass by my door they often poke their head in and ask me questions, usually its directions to the bus terminal or is there a bathroom close by and so forth. But every once and awhile I will get the oddest inquiries.

This morning I had a fellow walk in and ask:
"So where around here can I buy a barometer? An inexpensive one?"

Shortly afterwards I had a guy come in and say "Where can I buy a napkin for my head because, sweat"
And yes that is exactly how I was asked.

So what are some of the downright strange questions you have been asked?

MAD! on
«13456712

Posts

  • RonaldoTheGypsyRonaldoTheGypsy Yes, yes Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    I was 17. "Ron, the phone's for you"
    *pick up*
    "Yeah?"
    "uh ... uh ... hello?"
    "Who is this? What do you want?"
    "Do uh ... do you sell drugs?"
    "What? No."
    *click*

    I wish I was joking.

    RonaldoTheGypsy on
  • DevoutlyApatheticDevoutlyApathetic Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    "What flavor bacon is this?"

    DevoutlyApathetic on
    Nod. Get treat. PSN: Quippish
  • The Man with No NameThe Man with No Name __BANNED USERS regular
    edited June 2008
    "Would you rather have been a Deathcamp Nazi or a Prisoner Jew in World War II?"

    The Man with No Name on
    :whistle:
  • SanderJKSanderJK Crocodylus Pontifex Sinterklasicus Madrid, 3000 ADRegistered User regular
    edited June 2008
    I was coming home late from my parents one weekend, out of Central Station, walking home (This was maybe 23:00).... a car stops (A citroen 2CV, tiny old one), with a guy and 3 young women in it.

    One woman gets out (She's like 20), and asks me "Do you know where the hookers are?"

    I stumble....say "excuse me"

    She repeats "Do you know how to drive to where the hookers are?"

    I say "Sorry no, somewhere in the south of the city but I don't know where."

    She gets back into the car, talks to guy, and they drive off.

    SanderJK on
    Steam: SanderJK Origin: SanderJK
  • Wonder_HippieWonder_Hippie __BANNED USERS regular
    edited June 2008
    Standing in a Wal-Mart electronics section, I was once asked by a real skeevy looking fellow, "Do you geek?" Now, I thought he had said, "Are you a geek?" Unfortunately, I answered affirmatively.

    The next 20 minutes would be a conversation that makes me wish I could take my brain out of my head and rock it with a Brillo pad until I forgot everything that happened there.

    Wonder_Hippie on
  • KalTorakKalTorak One way or another, they all end up in the Undercity.Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    Standing in a Wal-Mart electronics section, I was once asked by a real skeevy looking fellow, "Do you geek?" Now, I thought he had said, "Are you a geek?" Unfortunately, I answered affirmatively.

    The next 20 minutes would be a conversation that makes me wish I could take my brain out of my head and rock it with a Brillo pad until I forgot everything that happened there.

    Was he offering you a job biting the heads off chickens?

    KalTorak on
  • Al_watAl_wat Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    About two weeks ago I get a call to my house phone.

    them: "hey... do you have anything right now?"
    me: "uh.. what?"
    Them: "How much for an 8-ball?"
    me: "uhhh yeah... I dont sell cocaine..."

    Al_wat on
  • MgcwMgcw Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    I was 17. "Ron, the phone's for you"
    *pick up*
    "Yeah?"
    "uh ... uh ... hello?"
    "Who is this? What do you want?"
    "Do uh ... do you sell drugs?"
    "What? No."
    *click*

    I wish I was joking.

    Reminds me of a time when I was ~16 and some guy came up to me in a shopping mall asking me if I had any acid. What the fuck? He was probably mid 20's, incredibly weird.

    Mgcw on
  • Satan.Satan. __BANNED USERS regular
    edited June 2008
    "Are you sure you don't believe in god?"

    Satan. on
  • BassguyBassguy Ghost Ride the Dragon Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    During finals, I needed to get about twenty different pieces of my work printed. I went to Staples to pick up my print job, and I picked up a few supplies so I could kill two birds with one stone while I was there. I was walking down an isle with three sheets of foam core and a couple bottles of rubber cement when a grey-haired lady stops me.

    Now, it is important here to note that I dress in a certain way. I pretty much always have on sweatpants, a black t-shirt, and a hawaiian over shirt. I couldn't look less like a respectable salesman if I tried.

    Regardless, this lady proceeds to stop me, and asked me if I worked there. I kind of just stared at her for a second. I then told her no, I wasn't an employee. She nodded in understanding, and then continued on, asking me which envelopes she needed for her printer. I politely told her that I had no idea. She shrugged a little bit, and then I took that as my cue to escape.

    I don't know if you've ever been to a Staples, but all of the employees wear slacks and Staples-branded color coordinated shirts. It still confuses me a little bit how she could have entertained the slightest thought that I worked for Staples.

    Bassguy on
  • RichyRichy Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    My worst was when I was working at tech support in a university in Québec, and a guy came in asking me about how to look at pictures of Pippi Longstocking in a magazine in a library somewhere in Europe. It included him giving a 20-minute-long nearly-pedophiliac fan-speech about why he loves looking at pictures of Pippi Longstocking. I just smiled and nodded through the whole thing, as did the other tech support guy in the office. Then when the guy left, we both burst into insane, uncontrollable laughter for a few minutes.

    Richy on
    sig.gif
  • disneyninjadisneyninja Registered User new member
    edited June 2008
    Crazy Guy - Any coffee or tea this morning?

    Me - No, not today....

    Crazy Guy - Beer?

    Me - No...

    This was before 9 am, at a bus transit center, and this was a long discussion with him, but that was the question that really caught me off guard.

    disneyninja on
  • Fuzzy Cumulonimbus CloudFuzzy Cumulonimbus Cloud Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    Bassguy wrote: »
    I don't know if you've ever been to a Staples, but all of the employees wear slacks and Staples-branded color coordinated shirts. It still confuses me a little bit how she could have entertained the slightest thought that I worked for Staples.

    This happens to me frequently. Certain people put off a certain aura of understanding or knowing, at least that is my bullshit explanation. I often get the "Do you know how to work this? Where is the pet food? " and so on. Maybe it's because I've worked in department stores, I don't know.

    Fuzzy Cumulonimbus Cloud on
  • GimGim a tall glass of water Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    I went to a musical once in a nice theater in Miami. I dressed up, putting on a blazer and slacks. As I was there by myself and had no real way to pass the time, I just stood out in the lobby leaning against a pillar, looking bored as bored could be.

    Old people kept coming up to me and asking me where things were.

    Gim on
  • KungFuKungFu Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    This happened to me last week at my new job as a custodian for a high school:

    Nam (48-yr-old Vietnamese immigrant who speaks in broken English)
    Me (Chris)


    Nam: Hey Kwis, you married?

    Chris: No, Im only 21.

    Nam: I know perfect girl for you! My brother's daughter also just turn 21 and she want life in America! She need man and you need girl.

    Chris: I can't just marry someone I haven't met.

    Nam: She very pretty! You get boom boom every night! *Nam makes hand gesture of his finger going in and out of his other hand forming a circle*

    Chris: D:

    Nam: I even pay you! I bring her here and you marry her. You get good Vietnamese girl.

    Chris: I'm sure you niece is very pretty, but I cannot marry her.

    Nam: What wrong wit you!? I bring picture of her tomorrow. You change mind.



    He forgot the picture, but then asked if I wanted to come drink at his house with him.

    I tried to decline him as nicely as possible, but fuck I'm just not into the whole arranged marriage thing. He has also explained to me how to get a good Vietnamese hooker from hotels in Vietnam.

    KungFu on
    Theft 4 Bread
  • yalborapyalborap Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    KungFu wrote: »
    This happened to me last week at my new job as a custodian for a high school:

    Nam (48-yr-old Vietnamese immigrant who speaks in broken English)
    Me (Chris)


    Nam: Hey Kwis, you married?

    Chris: No, Im only 21.

    Nam: I know perfect girl for you! My brother's daughter also just turn 21 and she want life in America! She need man and you need girl.

    Chris: I can't just marry someone I haven't met.

    Nam: She very pretty! You get boom boom every night! *Nam makes hand gesture of his finger going in and out of his other hand forming a circle*

    Chris: D:

    Nam: I even pay you! I bring her here and you marry her. You get good Vietnamese girl.

    Chris: I'm sure you niece is very pretty, but I cannot marry her.

    Nam: What wrong wit you!? I bring picture of her tomorrow. You change mind.



    He forgot the picture, but then asked if I wanted to come drink at his house with him.

    I tried to decline him as nicely as possible, but fuck I'm just not into the whole arranged marriage thing. He has also explained to me how to get a good Vietnamese hooker from hotels in Vietnam.

    He was intending to get you wasted enough to go elope with his niece before you recovered your sobriety.

    yalborap on
  • Wonder_HippieWonder_Hippie __BANNED USERS regular
    edited June 2008
    KalTorak wrote: »
    Standing in a Wal-Mart electronics section, I was once asked by a real skeevy looking fellow, "Do you geek?" Now, I thought he had said, "Are you a geek?" Unfortunately, I answered affirmatively.

    The next 20 minutes would be a conversation that makes me wish I could take my brain out of my head and rock it with a Brillo pad until I forgot everything that happened there.

    Was he offering you a job biting the heads off chickens?

    Apparently it's also a euphemism for doing speed. He followed me around trying to sell me drugs for twenty straight minutes. He was pretty fucked up himself, and it finally ended when he turned around for a moment and I just took off. I was 15 at the time, and didn't really know how to handle the situation. The guy was at least 25 years old, so it was a bit threatening for me.

    Wonder_Hippie on
  • TL DRTL DR Not at all confident in his reflexive opinions of thingsRegistered User regular
    edited June 2008
    KungFu wrote: »
    This happened to me last week at my new job as a custodian for a high school:

    Nam (48-yr-old Vietnamese immigrant who speaks in broken English)
    Me (Chris)


    Nam: Hey Kwis, you married?

    Chris: No, Im only 21.

    Nam: I know perfect girl for you! My brother's daughter also just turn 21 and she want life in America! She need man and you need girl.

    Chris: I can't just marry someone I haven't met.

    Nam: She very pretty! You get boom boom every night! *Nam makes hand gesture of his finger going in and out of his other hand forming a circle*

    Chris: D:

    Nam: I even pay you! I bring her here and you marry her. You get good Vietnamese girl.

    Chris: I'm sure you niece is very pretty, but I cannot marry her.

    Nam: What wrong wit you!? I bring picture of her tomorrow. You change mind.



    He forgot the picture, but then asked if I wanted to come drink at his house with him.

    I tried to decline him as nicely as possible, but fuck I'm just not into the whole arranged marriage thing. He has also explained to me how to get a good Vietnamese hooker from hotels in Vietnam.

    This Nam fella seems like a good guy.

    TL DR on
  • KungFuKungFu Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    He's really funny and entertaining. We bullshit on the job so much I forget that he is more than double my age. He has had several fits of anger at other people or things going on where he just gets into a shouting rage that is broken English and broken Vietnamese. The other Vietnamese workers there that I have asked said they don't understand him in either language he speaks.

    KungFu on
    Theft 4 Bread
  • MandaManda Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    I met some random older guy at work on Friday and we were talking while we waited for the elevator.

    Me: *blah blah blah* Yes sir!
    Him: You don't have to call me sir, we're peers here.
    Me: Sorry, it's just a habit from being in the South for so long.
    Him: You don't sound Southern. Are your parents Yankees?

    Another guy also asked me what my parents did for a living before he would give me a key card. At least I haven't been called a Yankee yet.

    Manda on
  • chasmchasm Ill-tempered Texan Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    I'm shoulders-deep in the video game case at work, rearranging titles and changing prices, using the hand terminal and a printer. I'm also in the preferred uniform, and my name badge is on a lanyard. Inevitably, some mouth-breather will walk up behind me and ask, "Do you work here?" Do you have any idea how fucking hard it is not to kill people who are stupid enough to ask that?

    chasm on
    steam_sig.png
    XBL : lJesse Custerl | MWO: Jesse Custer | Best vid ever. | 2nd best vid ever.
  • TL DRTL DR Not at all confident in his reflexive opinions of thingsRegistered User regular
    edited June 2008
    KungFu wrote: »
    He's really funny and entertaining. We bullshit on the job so much I forget that he is more than double my age. He has had several fits of anger at other people or things going on where he just gets into a shouting rage that is broken English and broken Vietnamese. The other Vietnamese workers there that I have asked said they don't understand him in either language he speaks.

    That is awesome. Reminds me of this Senegalese guy Mohammed that I used to work with.

    "Hey (Hurt and Burn), I called you yesterday"
    Yeah, I must have been asleep.
    "Yeah, right. Too busy smoking that good sheet and getting ju' dick sucked.

    Or when he'd talk about how lazy white people are. Which I totally agreed with him on, since he was a refugee and never bitched about anything.
    "These motha fuckas, never want to work. Jeff, you are not going to die today. Some people can not work. Some people? Must sell crack to live. You are not going to die today."

    TL DR on
  • TeeManTeeMan BrainSpoon Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    Some Corporate Guy: So how much gold have you produced this quarter?
    Me: About X ounces
    SCG: No no I mean gold, how much weight of gold?
    Me: Yeahhh it's about X ounces, ounces are what we use as a measurement of weight with gold
    SCG: No it isn't, kilograms is a weight
    Me: :|

    TeeMan on
    steam_sig.png
  • AsiinaAsiina ... WaterlooRegistered User regular
    edited June 2008
    Bassguy wrote: »
    I don't know if you've ever been to a Staples, but all of the employees wear slacks and Staples-branded color coordinated shirts. It still confuses me a little bit how she could have entertained the slightest thought that I worked for Staples.

    This happens to me frequently. Certain people put off a certain aura of understanding or knowing, at least that is my bullshit explanation. I often get the "Do you know how to work this? Where is the pet food? " and so on. Maybe it's because I've worked in department stores, I don't know.

    I think some people are just naturally approachable. I try my hardest to look angry in public because I get stopped at a frequency that is pretty abnormal. I'll watch people walk by others to ask me directions or for help in stores. I've never worked in retail and I don't really dress in retail uniform-esque clothes, but I get all the questions anyway.

    As for weirdest questions, this wasn't a question directed at me but it was about me. I was in an elevator when I was 12 or so and a guy probably in his 30s was there as well. A second guy came into the elevator and asked the other guy if I was his wife. I don't think I've ever really looked older than my age so it was pretty weird.

    Asiina on
  • SlickShughesSlickShughes Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    While killing time in the campus center when I was in college:

    Random Guy: Do you pick your nose?
    Me: uh, no?
    Random Guy: Do you cheat on tests?
    Me: ...no...
    Random Guy: Do you believe in Jesus?
    Me: Uh, I've got to go... I'm late for a meeting (I really was, he caught me just as I was about to get up)
    Random Guy: Oh, I see, you can talk about all those other things, but when God comes up, you get uncomfortable.


    Turns out he was from some campus mission group, trying to start dialogs about Christ, for I have absolutely no idea what reason. It's not like he was going to run into anyone who hadn't heard of Jesus. I wound up 5 minutes late for the meeting because I went off on him about having already decided my faith - or lack there of - and was fully informed when I made the decision.


    People used to ask me for drugs on campus all the time as well. Not just students either. I was walking across the parking lot to my dorm once and a guy in his mid thirties asked if I knew where to buy weed. Another time it was a couple in their late twenties, pulled up to me in a car looking for acid. I guess that's what I get for looking like Shaggy from Scooby Do.

    SlickShughes on
  • PodlyPodly you unzipped me! it's all coming back! i don't like it!Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    One time a girl came up to me and asked "Do you like girls or boys?"

    When I responded girls, she started making out with me.

    Podly on
    follow my music twitter soundcloud tumblr
    9pr1GIh.jpg?1
  • TeeManTeeMan BrainSpoon Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    Podly wrote: »
    One time a girl came up to me and asked "Do you like girls or boys?"

    When I responded girls, she started making out with me.

    Son of a...

    TeeMan on
    steam_sig.png
  • NocturneNocturne Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    TeeMan wrote: »
    Podly wrote: »
    One time a girl came up to me and asked "Do you like girls or boys?"

    When I responded girls, she started making out with me.

    Son of a...

    So that's what I've been doing wrong.

    Nocturne on
  • FeralFeral MEMETICHARIZARD interior crocodile alligator ⇔ ǝɹʇɐǝɥʇ ǝᴉʌoɯ ʇǝloɹʌǝɥɔ ɐ ǝʌᴉɹp ᴉRegistered User regular
    edited June 2008
    Gamestop: "Do you have any trade-ins for us today?"
    Me: "Do you see me carrying anything?"

    Feral on
    every person who doesn't like an acquired taste always seems to think everyone who likes it is faking it. it should be an official fallacy.

    the "no true scotch man" fallacy.
  • Fuzzy Cumulonimbus CloudFuzzy Cumulonimbus Cloud Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    Feral wrote: »
    Gamestop: "Do you have any trade-ins for us today?"
    Me: "Do you see me carrying anything?"
    I picked up MGS4.

    "Did you gut this game?"

    "No, we don't gut preorders."

    "Do you want the strategy gu-"

    "No, that will be all."

    I kind of felt bad for shooting the guy down, but I really didn't feel like dealing with that today.

    Fuzzy Cumulonimbus Cloud on
  • electricitylikesmeelectricitylikesme Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    Feral wrote: »
    Gamestop: "Do you have any trade-ins for us today?"
    Me: "Do you see me carrying anything?"
    I don't know Feral I like to keep game CDs under a trench coat all drugs like.

    electricitylikesme on
  • themightypuckthemightypuck MontanaRegistered User regular
    edited June 2008

    This Nam fella seems like a good guy.

    Women. Check. Liquor. Check. Nam's cool.

    themightypuck on
    “Reject your sense of injury and the injury itself disappears.”
    ― Marcus Aurelius

    Path of Exile: themightypuck
  • theSquidtheSquid Sydney, AustraliaRegistered User regular
    edited June 2008
    One time I got asked "Are you the Today FM fugitive?"

    Also at the Central Lecture Block at uni there's a foyer with a receptionist-like desk in the middle that no one uses. So I dragged a couch over there because other than immediately before and after every lecture its pretty quiet and I can study. Nonetheless everyone thinks I work there. What they think I do, I don't know. But anyway the lecture rooms are indicated by giant numbers the size of a person (say, Lecture Theatre 3 is indicated by a man-sized "3")

    But that doesn't stop people from asking where the bloody thing is.

    theSquid on
  • SkutSkutSkutSkut Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    In high school a girl I know came up to me

    Her: Why is your ass so big?

    Me: Why're you staring at my ass?

    Her: Cause it's bigger than mine!

    SkutSkut on
  • Satan.Satan. __BANNED USERS regular
    edited June 2008
    SkutSkut wrote: »
    In high school a girl I know came up to me

    Her: Why is your ass so big?

    Me: Why're you staring at my ass?

    Her: Cause it's bigger than mine!

    How was the sex?

    Satan. on
  • KyouguKyougu Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    I'm a twin, so I ge the usual twin questions. One always stuck out in my mind though.

    New Coworker finding out that I'm a twin:

    "So how do you and your brother tell each other apart?"

    Kyougu on
  • SkutSkutSkutSkut Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    Satan. wrote: »
    SkutSkut wrote: »
    In high school a girl I know came up to me

    Her: Why is your ass so big?

    Me: Why're you staring at my ass?

    Her: Cause it's bigger than mine!

    How was the sex?

    I was a senior and she was a freshman, so didn't have any, rather not nail 14 year olds.

    SkutSkut on
  • PharezonPharezon Struggle is an illusion. Victory is in the Qun.Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    SkutSkut wrote: »
    Satan. wrote: »
    SkutSkut wrote: »
    In high school a girl I know came up to me

    Her: Why is your ass so big?

    Me: Why're you staring at my ass?

    Her: Cause it's bigger than mine!

    How was the sex?

    I was a senior and she was a freshman, so didn't have any, rather not nail 14 year olds.

    That's not a reason!

    Pharezon on
    jkZziGc.png
  • SkutSkutSkutSkut Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    Pharezon wrote: »
    SkutSkut wrote: »
    Satan. wrote: »
    SkutSkut wrote: »
    In high school a girl I know came up to me

    Her: Why is your ass so big?

    Me: Why're you staring at my ass?

    Her: Cause it's bigger than mine!

    How was the sex?

    I was a senior and she was a freshman, so didn't have any, rather not nail 14 year olds.

    That's not a reason!

    Eh I could say her ass wasn't big enough then? :lol:

    SkutSkut on
  • INeedNoSaltINeedNoSalt with blood on my teeth Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    KungFu wrote: »
    This happened to me last week at my new job as a custodian for a high school:

    Nam (48-yr-old Vietnamese immigrant who speaks in broken English)
    Me (Chris)


    Nam: Hey Kwis, you married?

    Chris: No, Im only 21.

    Nam: I know perfect girl for you! My brother's daughter also just turn 21 and she want life in America! She need man and you need girl.

    Chris: I can't just marry someone I haven't met.

    Nam: She very pretty! You get boom boom every night! *Nam makes hand gesture of his finger going in and out of his other hand forming a circle*

    Chris: D:

    Nam: I even pay you! I bring her here and you marry her. You get good Vietnamese girl.

    Chris: I'm sure you niece is very pretty, but I cannot marry her.

    Nam: What wrong wit you!? I bring picture of her tomorrow. You change mind.



    He forgot the picture, but then asked if I wanted to come drink at his house with him.

    I tried to decline him as nicely as possible, but fuck I'm just not into the whole arranged marriage thing. He has also explained to me how to get a good Vietnamese hooker from hotels in Vietnam.

    i would have been all over that

    INeedNoSalt on
Sign In or Register to comment.