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oh god my sinuses

babyeatingjesusbabyeatingjesus Registered User regular
edited June 2008 in Social Entropy++
My Sinus cavities are full of goop.

My face feels like it's 4 inches too close to the back of my head.

at what angle and start position and gauge of drill bit do I use to get to my sinuses to drain all this crap?

Because I have to leave on day 1 of my odyssey road trip to Tom Waits in Ohio tonight.

hitthatcheeseburgerfatty.gif
babyeatingjesus on
«13

Posts

  • ZonkytonkmanZonkytonkman Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    semen is a great decongestant

    Zonkytonkman on
  • babyeatingjesusbabyeatingjesus Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    Zonkytonkman wrote: »
    semen is a great decongestant

    If that were true I'd have never gotten into this position in the first place.

    babyeatingjesus on
    hitthatcheeseburgerfatty.gif
  • stimtokolosstimtokolos Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    You need a teapot full, in one nostril out the other. Trust me. Boil it first, then let it cool slightly.

    stimtokolos on
  • HunterHunter Chemist with a heart of Au Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    You are so fucked. I suggest lots of hot liquids, like soups or tea. Take an extremely hot shower and stay in the bathroom with all the steam.

    Then pound decongestants and try to clear all the stuff out.

    Hunter on
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  • FandyienFandyien But Otto, what about us? Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    Sniff a pepper

    Fandyien on
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  • LTMLTM Bikes and BeardsRegistered User regular
    edited June 2008
    stimtokolos wrote: »
    You need a teapot full, in one nostril out the other. Trust me. Boil it first, then let it cool slightly.

    I heard something like this. Warm saltwater or something, poured in one nostril and out the other. I've never tried it, but apparently its the cat's pajamas for home sinus flushing.

    Also, I wonder if you could candle your sinuses like they do for ears...

    LTM on
  • MysstMysst King Monkey of Hedonism IslandRegistered User regular
    edited June 2008
    Dope yourself up and ignore it, then collapse a few hours later when the drugs wear off.

    Mysst on
    ikbUJdU.jpg
  • HunterHunter Chemist with a heart of Au Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    LTM wrote: »
    stimtokolos wrote: »
    You need a teapot full, in one nostril out the other. Trust me. Boil it first, then let it cool slightly.

    I heard something like this. Warm saltwater or something, poured in one nostril and out the other. I've never tried it, but apparently its the cat's pajamas for home sinus flushing.

    Also, I wonder if you could candle your sinuses like they do for ears...

    Candling? Want some leeches or some fresh bear gall bladder too?

    Hunter on
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  • babyeatingjesusbabyeatingjesus Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    Mysst wrote: »
    Dope yourself up and ignore it, then collapse a few hours later when the drugs wear off.

    That is my plan. I'll drive as long as I reasonably feel able, then I switch to Tylenol Cold & Sinus PM with NyQuil and Neo Citran chasers.

    babyeatingjesus on
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  • RankenphileRankenphile Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood.Registered User, Moderator Mod Emeritus
    edited June 2008
    man, I used to get all kinds of weird maladies right before I'd travel. It was inevitable. The more excited about it I would get, the more inconvenient and weird it would be.

    Going to an airshow as a kid? Yeah, got an inflamed foreskin.

    Flew to LA for E3? Yeah, I get a little cyst right on my eyelid.

    Went on a road trip to San Francisco? Oh sweet, a little cyst right on my fucking butthole.

    My body hates fun, it seems.

    Rankenphile on
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  • HunterHunter Chemist with a heart of Au Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    Rankenphile wrote: »
    man, I used to get all kinds of weird maladies right before I'd travel. It was inevitable. The more excited about it I would get, the more inconvenient and weird it would be.

    Going to an airshow as a kid? Yeah, got an inflamed foreskin.

    Flew to LA for E3? Yeah, I get a little cyst right on my eyelid.

    Went on a road trip to San Francisco? Oh sweet, a little cyst right on my fucking butthole.

    My body hates fun, it seems.

    I can pop that for you :winky:

    Hunter on
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  • LTMLTM Bikes and BeardsRegistered User regular
    edited June 2008
    Hunter wrote: »
    LTM wrote: »
    stimtokolos wrote: »
    You need a teapot full, in one nostril out the other. Trust me. Boil it first, then let it cool slightly.

    I heard something like this. Warm saltwater or something, poured in one nostril and out the other. I've never tried it, but apparently its the cat's pajamas for home sinus flushing.

    Also, I wonder if you could candle your sinuses like they do for ears...

    Candling? Want some leeches or some fresh bear gall bladder too?

    No thanks, I just rely on suction and the power of Jesus.

    LTM on
  • ProlegomenaProlegomena Frictionless Spinning The VoidRegistered User regular
    edited June 2008
    I think we're honing in on the problem here

    we need to get your humours back in balance

    Prolegomena on
    Steam
  • MysstMysst King Monkey of Hedonism IslandRegistered User regular
    edited June 2008
    Rank, it sounds like you needed to bathe more than you did.

    Mysst on
    ikbUJdU.jpg
  • RankenphileRankenphile Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood.Registered User, Moderator Mod Emeritus
    edited June 2008
    see beej, this is the good lord Jesus Christ telling you to give the tickets to me and also to pay to fly me out to see the show and then to pay to fly me out to you to tell you how awesome it was and give you a high five.

    You don't want to anger the Lord now, do you?

    Rankenphile on
    8406wWN.png
  • RankenphileRankenphile Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood.Registered User, Moderator Mod Emeritus
    edited June 2008
    Mysst wrote: »
    Rank, it sounds like you needed to bathe more than you did.
    pfffft, whatever

    I bathe every month, right as rain.

    Rankenphile on
    8406wWN.png
  • WeaverWeaver Breakfast Witch Hashus BrowniusRegistered User regular
    edited June 2008
    I get about two sinus infections a year and will end up having to have surgery to have scar tissue removed from up in there.

    Weaver on
  • babyeatingjesusbabyeatingjesus Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    Rankenphile wrote: »
    see beej, this is the good lord Jesus Christ telling you to give the tickets to me and also to pay to fly me out to see the show and then to pay to fly me out to you to tell you how awesome it was and give you a high five.

    You don't want to anger the Lord now, do you?

    hmmm, I do like high fives.

    babyeatingjesus on
    hitthatcheeseburgerfatty.gif
  • stimtokolosstimtokolos Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    LTM wrote: »
    stimtokolos wrote: »
    You need a teapot full, in one nostril out the other. Trust me. Boil it first, then let it cool slightly.

    I heard something like this. Warm saltwater or something, poured in one nostril and out the other. I've never tried it, but apparently its the cat's pajamas for home sinus flushing.

    Also, I wonder if you could candle your sinuses like they do for ears...

    No man I'm talking about semen.

    stimtokolos on
  • Mr. Henry BemisMr. Henry Bemis God is love Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    okay push on the top of your mouth with your tongue

    then push at the top of your nose

    Mr. Henry Bemis on
    Nothing is true; Everything is permitted
  • RankenphileRankenphile Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood.Registered User, Moderator Mod Emeritus
    edited June 2008
    babyeatingjesus wrote: »
    Rankenphile wrote: »
    see beej, this is the good lord Jesus Christ telling you to give the tickets to me and also to pay to fly me out to see the show and then to pay to fly me out to you to tell you how awesome it was and give you a high five.

    You don't want to anger the Lord now, do you?

    hmmm, I do like high fives.
    nothing is better than a high-five well earned.

    not even a tom waits concert.

    especially a tom waits concert.

    Rankenphile on
    8406wWN.png
  • LTMLTM Bikes and BeardsRegistered User regular
    edited June 2008
    stimtokolos wrote: »
    LTM wrote: »
    stimtokolos wrote: »
    You need a teapot full, in one nostril out the other. Trust me. Boil it first, then let it cool slightly.

    I heard something like this. Warm saltwater or something, poured in one nostril and out the other. I've never tried it, but apparently its the cat's pajamas for home sinus flushing.

    Also, I wonder if you could candle your sinuses like they do for ears...

    No man I'm talking about semen.

    Semen, warm saltwater, is there really that big a difference when it's going in your nostril?

    LTM on
  • stimtokolosstimtokolos Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    LTM wrote: »
    stimtokolos wrote: »
    LTM wrote: »
    stimtokolos wrote: »
    You need a teapot full, in one nostril out the other. Trust me. Boil it first, then let it cool slightly.

    I heard something like this. Warm saltwater or something, poured in one nostril and out the other. I've never tried it, but apparently its the cat's pajamas for home sinus flushing.

    Also, I wonder if you could candle your sinuses like they do for ears...

    No man I'm talking about semen.

    Semen, warm saltwater, is there really that big a difference when it's going in your nostril?

    The viscosity matters.

    stimtokolos on
  • LTMLTM Bikes and BeardsRegistered User regular
    edited June 2008
    stimtokolos wrote: »
    LTM wrote: »
    stimtokolos wrote: »
    LTM wrote: »
    stimtokolos wrote: »
    You need a teapot full, in one nostril out the other. Trust me. Boil it first, then let it cool slightly.

    I heard something like this. Warm saltwater or something, poured in one nostril and out the other. I've never tried it, but apparently its the cat's pajamas for home sinus flushing.

    Also, I wonder if you could candle your sinuses like they do for ears...

    No man I'm talking about semen.

    Semen, warm saltwater, is there really that big a difference when it's going in your nostril?

    The viscosity matters.

    There's only one way to know for sure...

    LTM on
  • ThanatosThanatos Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    Take a teaspoonfull of saltwater, dissolve it in 8 ounces of lukewarm water. Go into the shower, and inhale that through your nose.

    Thanatos on
  • RankenphileRankenphile Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood.Registered User, Moderator Mod Emeritus
    edited June 2008
    Thanatos wrote: »
    Take a teaspoonfull of saltwater, dissolve it in 8 ounces of lukewarm water. Go into the shower, and inhale that through your nose.
    then do the same with 8 ounces of pepperwater

    Rankenphile on
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  • MysstMysst King Monkey of Hedonism IslandRegistered User regular
    edited June 2008
    then do the same with 8 ounces of semen

    Mysst on
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  • HunterHunter Chemist with a heart of Au Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    Then do regular water as a control.

    Hunter on
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  • AirAir Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    you could try eating some hot chillies and let it kill your mouth and make your nose runny

    but heres a better idea
    get some vicks vacorub if you got it lying around. in case you dont have this over there, its this menthol cream kinda stuff that you would put on your chest and back when you sleep so you breathe in menthol all night which clears things up a bit

    if you got something like that, or you can get something like that, or maybe just some strong menthol kinda stuff
    fill a bowl with boiling water and put some of the menthol stuff in it, the goal being that the steam becomes strongly menthol scented
    lean your head over the bowl and drape a towel over your head and around the bowl to trap all the steam and fill your head with strong menthol sauna

    Air on
    darjeelingshortsig95.jpg
  • RankenphileRankenphile Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood.Registered User, Moderator Mod Emeritus
    edited June 2008
    you know what is also good for a sinus infection?

    copious amounts of cocaine.

    Rankenphile on
    8406wWN.png
  • RankenphileRankenphile Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood.Registered User, Moderator Mod Emeritus
    edited June 2008
    just make sure you get the non-drowsy kind.

    Rankenphile on
    8406wWN.png
  • MysstMysst King Monkey of Hedonism IslandRegistered User regular
    edited June 2008
    Air wrote: »
    you could try eating some hot chillies and let it kill your mouth and make your nose runny

    but heres a better idea
    get some vicks vacorub if you got it lying around. in case you dont have this over there, its this menthol cream kinda stuff that you would put on your chest and back when you sleep so you breathe in menthol all night which clears things up a bit

    if you got something like that, or you can get something like that, or maybe just some strong menthol kinda stuff
    fill a bowl with boiling water and put some of the menthol stuff in it, the goal being that the steam becomes strongly menthol scented
    lean your head over the bowl and drape a towel over your head and around the bowl to trap all the steam and fill your head with strong menthol sauna
    could always put a bit of vicks on the undertip of your nose, too, or your upper lip. I don't recommend the upper lip because if you've just shaved it will burn like fuck.

    Mysst on
    ikbUJdU.jpg
  • babyeatingjesusbabyeatingjesus Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    I'm going to cut cocaine with vapo rub and do rails of that off an underage hooker's bald ass.

    babyeatingjesus on
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  • RankenphileRankenphile Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood.Registered User, Moderator Mod Emeritus
    edited June 2008
    I don't see what could possibly go wrong with a plan like that.

    Rankenphile on
    8406wWN.png
  • LTMLTM Bikes and BeardsRegistered User regular
    edited June 2008
    babyeatingjesus wrote: »
    I'm going to cut cocaine with vapo rub and do rails of that off an underage hooker's bald ass.

    Sounds like the best choice.

    LTM on
  • HunterHunter Chemist with a heart of Au Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    Nothing but good things will come from that.

    Hunter on
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  • FandyienFandyien But Otto, what about us? Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    Sneezing blood like some grim sprinkler

    Fandyien on
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  • RankenphileRankenphile Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood.Registered User, Moderator Mod Emeritus
    edited June 2008
    oh hey I saw Grim Sprinkler a few years back, they were tight. I like their old shit better than their new stuff, though.

    Rankenphile on
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  • FandyienFandyien But Otto, what about us? Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    I feel like any band named Grim Sprinkler has to be innately awesome

    Fandyien on
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  • ZombotZombot Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    I'm pretty sure I lost a pound from all the mucus I've been snoting out.

    Zombot on
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